Body dysmorphic disorder

TeddyTedson · 25-02-2013 02:17AM #1

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Lone Stone · 25-02-2013 02:19AM

me tooooooooo !!

*puts on his ear phone's*

Senna · 25-02-2013 02:22AM

Google diagnoses has a lot to answer for.

Stheno · 25-02-2013 02:23AM

1. You been drinking Teddy?
2. This is a real PI thread tbh.

Given your recent threads, I don't think you are serious, if you are I'd genuinely have advice on it as my OH used be like that but no longer is.

JonEBGud · 25-02-2013 02:23AM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

I am Adonis and I think Dorian Gray is a fake.

ColeTrain · 25-02-2013 02:24AM

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

AlmightyCushion · 25-02-2013 02:25AM

Make yourself one of these masks and you're sorted.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2lz4g4bzo1qfhkybo1_1280.jpg

Bipolar Joe · 25-02-2013 02:26AM

My own body used to disgust me because I'm so thin and have very little definition. Seeing muscular men being pretty much the only variety women were interested in only aggravated things. I'd eat as much as possible and work out as much as possible, and I'd get nowhere. No body weight, no muscle mass. My nickname in school was "Noodle," because I'm pale, thin and gangly. Ended up terribly depressed. Counselling helped a lot. It still bums me out, and once in a while someone will say something that makes me want to sit alone in the dark for two weeks, but mostly I find I get by OK wearing baggy clothes and showing as little skin as possible.

One chick, a couple of years ago, actually grimaced and said "That's disgusting" when she saw how thin my wrists are. Felt like walking into traffic with that one.

TeddyTedson · 25-02-2013 02:28AM

Stheno wrote: »

1. You been drinking Teddy?
2. This is a real PI thread tbh.

Given your recent threads, I don't think you are serious, if you are I'd genuinely have advice on it as my OH used be like that but no longer is.

I'm done with talking about alcohol on boards, but I am genuinely serious about this.
I'm already delighted to read that your OH used to be like that, the key words being "used to".

HTML5! · 25-02-2013 02:30AM

Yeah. I look sh!t in photos 90% of the time.

I don't care though - I'm not the photo I'm the person.

ejmaztec · 25-02-2013 02:33AM

AH needs an agony aunt.

Stheno · 25-02-2013 02:36AM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I'm done with talking about alcohol on boards, but I am genuinely serious about this.
I'm already delighted to read that your OH used to be like that, the key words being "used to".

I'm not going to invade my OHs privacy by talking about his issues publicly on boards, but I'd be happy to pm.

Are you unhappy cos you think you are ugly, too fat/thin, or because you've been told negative stuff in the past?

And I'm sorry if I sounded bitchy asking if you were drinking.

My OH now loves how he looks, enjoys shopping for clothes that make him look good, and loves having the odd facial/massage etc. Massive change from when I first met him.

Smidge · 25-02-2013 02:36AM

When I was young there was no such thing as body dysmorphia, oh no......

What we had was "uglyfukceritis" and being Irish and in the 70's we ALL had a touch of it.

TeddyTedson · 25-02-2013 02:39AM

Stheno wrote: »

I'm not going to invade my OHs privacy by talking about his issues publicly on boards, but I'd be happy to pm.

Are you unhappy cos you think you are ugly, too fat/thin, or because you've been told negative stuff in the past?

And I'm sorry if I sounded bitchy asking if you were drinking.

My OH now loves how he looks, enjoys shopping for clothes that make him look good, and loves having the odd facial/massage etc. Massive change from when I first met him.

Please PM me.
I'm not one to really get offended, you didn't sound bitchy

The Barefoot Pizza Thief · 25-02-2013 02:42AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

One chick, a couple of years ago, actually grimaced and said "That's disgusting" when she saw how thin my wrists are. Felt like walking into traffic with that one.

We live in a society where men are generally seen as bullet proof on such matters. That they couldn't possibly be affected by comments about their appearance as that is something that women worry about. I think its rubbish as I feel both sexes are equally as wounded by such remarks or by how much it is that they feel they fall short of the 'ideal', it's just that men don't voice their insecurities on such matters as much as women do, for whatever reasons.

I remember when I was 12, the mother of my best friend said something quite cutting to me about my appearance and to this day I have never forgotten it.

Forget who said it, but thing the following holds a lot of truth:

Compliments and criticism are ultimately all based on some form of projection.

Oracle · 25-02-2013 02:43AM

ColeTrain wrote: »

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

So thoughtful and empathic ..... :rolleyes:

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-02-2013 02:45AM

I avoid my own reflection a lot too ted, sometimes I think I might look imperfect or something. It's sillier than a sillhouette and I never think those are dysmorphed

Think I just have a dark complex tbh and don't agree with what I see for some reason. Its because of a lifetime of fail isn't it

my achievement? We'll beat this... esteem issue.

ColeTrain · 25-02-2013 02:52AM

Oracle wrote: »

So thoughtful and empathic ..... :rolleyes:

Where's your advice then? I'm sure the rolleyes smiley is really gonna help the OP out no end.

Stheno · 25-02-2013 02:55AM

The Barefoot Pizza Thief wrote: »

We live in a society where men are generally seen as bullet proof on such matters. That they couldn't possibly be affected by comments about their appearance as that is something that women worry about. I think its rubbish as I feel both sexes are equally as wounded by such remarks or by how much it is that they feel they fall short of the 'ideal', it's just that men don't voice their insecurities on such matters as much as women do, for whatever reasons.

I remember when I was 12, the mother of my best friend said something quite cutting to me about my appearance and to this day I have never forgotten it.

Forget who said it, but thing the following holds a lot of truth:

Compliments and criticism are ultimately all based on some form of projection.

I think this is very true, far too many men now as well as women are suffering from body issues, in part due to the media, and in part due to their own expectations.

I've been incredibly lucky in my life, I was a bulky teen, but lost a pile of weight when I matured, and have never ever given a moments thought to my weight as an adult as I'm fairly slim. Looks wise I'm average and have ****ty teeth, but don't let it get in my way.

I think poor body image is more than weight/looks though, I genuinely think it's sympomatic of more serious issues.

1ZRed · 25-02-2013 03:01AM

ColeTrain wrote: »

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

A Heidi Montang would be so up your aisle, Ted

:P

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-02-2013 03:01AM

Actually, ted you had no such lack of esteem when you touched that girls breast on the luas did you ever consider how you might have looked then? Is like a hall of mirrors. Were probably admiring yourself...

JonEBGud · 25-02-2013 03:03AM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Don't hide behind a laptop.
That's no remedy, if that's
how you feel.
Hope this isn't a wind up.

HTML5! · 25-02-2013 03:03AM

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

Actually, ted you had no such lack of esteem when you touched that girls breast on the luas did you ever consider how you might have looked then? Is like a hall of mirrors. Were probably admiring yourself...

Did it look like she was wearing Beats headphones in the reflection in the window?

Crann na Beatha · 25-02-2013 03:08AM

This post has been deleted.

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-02-2013 03:10AM

HTML5! wrote: »

Did it look like she was wearing Beats headphones in the reflection in the window?

Oops, forgot about dre.

ask yorself ted why does an ugly mofo like dr dre stand in front of the mirror every opportunity and tell himself yep.. today is a good day

Guys like chris kiwomya, chris akabusi?? the list is endless. and they're not all named chris, nor all black for that matter

HTML5! · 25-02-2013 03:11AM

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

Oops, forgot about dre.

ask yorself ted why does an ugly mofo like dr dre stand in front of the mirror every opportunity and tell himself yep.. today is a good day

Guys like chris kiwomya, chris akabusi?? the list is endless. and they're not all named chris, nor all black for that matter

What a random pair of names to make a point with!!

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-02-2013 03:19AM

P-M-A.

and if I ever taste it IRL I'll tell you. But in the meantime is like looking in them funny mirrors at the fairground

25-02-2013 03:38AM

Body dysmorphia is a condition where you're obsessed with changing some of your body, and being convinced you're defective or disgusting to such an extent that you never stop thinking about it. It dominates your thoughts.

Not liking what you see, feeling unhappy about what you look like or wishing you looked better, is so common its almost normal among teenagers. In older people its usually a symptom of low confidence.

The first is a serious mental illness that can lead people into psychiatric treatment or repeated plastic surgeries, even amputating limbs, to feel better about themselves, which never lasts.

The second can be worked on much more easily, and is often the symptom of low self esteem in general.

Work on feeling better about life in general Teddy, and you'll feel better about your looks.

Killer Wench · 25-02-2013 03:46AM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Is there anything that you do like about your face or body?

Smidge · 25-02-2013 03:54AM

Here's a question.

I know I was somewhat glib in my response earlier to Teddy but on a serious note......

Does everyone(and this includes the Beyonce's and Brad's of this world)not feel like this?
I HATE being photographed, abhor it.
I understand that when it becomes all consuming THEN it becomes a disorder, but doesn't everyone feel somewhat inadequate looks wise?

TeddyTedson · 25-02-2013 04:06AM

Smidge wrote: »

Here's a question.

I know I was somewhat glib in my response earlier to Teddy but on a serious note......

Does everyone(and this includes the Beyonce's and Brad's of this world)not feel like this?
I HATE being photographed, abhor it.
I understand that when it becomes all consuming THEN it becomes a disorder, but doesn't everyone feel somewhat inadequate looks wise?

I guess you're right.
I think I'm just lacking self esteem.

Body dysmorphic disorder

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