homeless man doesn't want help

i think you did the right thing there OP, it's best not to offer beggars/homeless people cash as chances are they'd spend it on alcohol or drugs. What i have done before is buy sandwiches or some hot food and it has always been appreciated.

I once spent a good while chatting to a young fella. He told me he was from the country and came to Dublin because he had no one any more and wanted to find work but couldn't find any and ended up on the streets.

So I said to him, I work at (so and so place around the corner) and that he can come to me any time and see me there. I offered to write him out a C.V. and print several copies and even give him a fake reference and put my phone number down and say he was a good worker if anyone called. I also offered to buy him a good set of clothes, (shirt, tie, etc) and basically help to get him out of his situation.

I never saw him again.

I also get the 'money for hostel' line all the time but I was told on good authority by a few Dubliners (I haven't lived in Ireland or Dublin that long) that there's place for homeless people to go. He told me the names of them and that some were better than others but many of them wouldn't allow in drunks etc. The rules were you basically had to be clean and sober. He said the ones that ask for money for hostels are actually trying to get money for drugs and alcohol.

I feel sorry for homeless people but I think that if they're begging for money it must be for drugs and alcohol and I don't want to enable people or feed their addiction so now I never give money to anyone.

Is that right / wrong?

I especially dislike the romanian type women who carry babies around with their hands out to you for money. I figure they're probably over here on the benefit like all the Irish people and you never see Irish women carrying babies with their hands out.

I know I don't understand so if anyone wants to put me right I'm all ears, but this is my experience and knowledge so far and I believe I'm right.

Sadderday wrote: »

It's just that I was brought up to respect people and have manners as the majority. This man was rude I think to react in such a way.

Over the years I'd buy a cup of tea or the odd bag of chips or whatever for a person on the street. This is the first time I had received a reaction like that, i'm just surprised that I had to explain why I bought it.

You do realise you're applying your own manner system to someone whos life couldn't be more different to yours?

You're right to feel angry.. but with yourself, not with him. You made the mistake.. it has nothing to do with how he acted.

You both have valid points. OP tried to do something 99% of people who walk past said homeless people wouldn't be arsed doing and everyone reading recognises that. Don't feel like anyone is giving you a hard time OP and if they are it's okay I'll deck em for ya Just kidding. We've all been brought up different and are physiologically different too so we all react different. In fairness the homeless did seem to acknowledge you did someone out of the ordinary for him even if it seemed a half hearted acknowledgement. I don't think you did anything wrong OP. You tried at least.

I think really best thing anyone can do to help the homeless would be to join an organisation who helps the homeless and learn from someone whos' been doing it for a long time, how the best way to go about it is and how best to help them is.

Sadderday wrote: »

I get that. I'm just saying that i've come across people that are more gracious when you give them a cigarette. I put some thought into it, I really did. I wanted to make a difference to living in a tiny way. People walk past all day, some people stop, some people don't. I didn't just stop I spent my lunchbreak and my last bit of cash on this stranger.

Does it matter that it was a sleeping bag really? Is the fact that I wanted to make a difference for him not enough? I just don't think he needed to tell me that he would have preffered money. He should have said nothing instead. It bugs me because I feel like I have done wrong... but I was only trying to help so how can that be wrong? I obviously hadn't disrespected this bloke in any way intentionally

I just imagine that if it were my brother were on the streets I'd hope that someone would think of making him a little warmer.

I had expected anything major, honestly if he didnt say thanks I probably would still be a little bit peeved. but i think the point is that when you make an effort to help someone in someway, why is it ok for them to say they would prefer something else?

I don't think you do..

hi op and others really do not know where to begin, theres been quite alot of posts now to this thread. Firstly i feel i have to clear up alot of misconceptions etc. people have regarding the homeless you see in dublin everyday (this does NOT include the romanian population, which is an entirely different matter / problem).

Quickly just to say to o.p. your just having a normal human reaction from the events that occured.You went out of your way to do a very kind deed for a complete stranger who in your estimation needed it badly, the reason why ur annoyed is because you didn't get the recipircation for your actions, which in your own mind you felt was waranteed. Totally understandable and completely normal. Please forget about the actual conversation u had with the man, look within urself and realise that that is all it is. You have a heart of gold for thinking of him in the first place so please never lose that, please read on to understand why it was pointless. Just to finish op, You D'ont Give To Recieve. give with all of your heart and blessings or not at all. Hope i'm not coming across as if i'm preaching to you here.

Now back to the homeless, I feel i can speak freely on the subject as i had the misfortune to end up homeless for quite a long period of time not so long ago.about my own experiences i will say they were harrowing times for the most part. I never used drugs in my life and although i enjoy a social drink i never had a problem with alcohol or anything else for that matter infact i was just like urself buying a coffee,sandwich, a smoke, afew euro etc. to the homeless until i ended up as one. Believe me when i say it can easily happen.
When ur first made homeless u present urself at the homeless persons unit(across from pearse st. garda station) they only open from 10am-12 every morning the civil service at its best!!. Ur given a long list of things to do such as registering with dublin city council etc. these forms took me 2 days to get filled in hours a day walking/queing around town, tax office etc.. u then present urself at 160 capel street (d.citycouncil for the homeless) and they FIND YOU A PLACE TO STAY and they WILL FIND YOU A PLACE

The standards i first encountered were third world though. must mention the poster 'illicit' here, every last person without exception in this particular hostel was a chaotic drug user(heroin etc) or degenerate alcoholic and off there tits walking into the building. These hostels are called emergency accomadation, 4.50e a night or nothing if u hadn't recieved a payment they open at 8pm and ur thrown out at 9am. Dormitory style rooms betwen 4 to 20 per room and filthy dirty. even though i wore them in bed they managed to rob my shoes off my feet and these guys are off they're face smoking heroin in the corner for the best part of the night, u don't sleep, an hour or two at best.I can't even describe the toilets suffice to say it involves blood, piss ,**** and everything else u can think of. food consisted of tea/coffee bread cereal and thats that until u can get back in at 8pm.whats truly sad is that some of these people had been living like this for over 2 years. i grew up in an area with a very small handful of known heroin addicts but nothing on these guys scale.

I did find out later u will never go hungry in dublin. u can get something to eat for free from 7.30am in the morning(merchants quay) and if ur willing to walk a bit still get soup and sandwiches up to 8pm. HOMELESS PEOPLE CAN EAT FOR NOTHING, if they so chose.
In saying all that when u get all the forms for pearse st. u recieve a payment the equivalent to the dole its called supplementary benefit i think basically the dole in another name as u've no fixed address. there are other places to stay however, the back lane hostel if u can get into it, own room stay in all day if u wish, the iveagh trust building (2mins from christchurch both places) own room own key and come and go as u please.i met a guy who had been living there 12 years and others alot longer. Sad really basically institutionalised into it. If u kept presenting at capel st. they'd also try to find u something better.
U must realise d.c.council have all types of accomadation set up for the homless b+b's, hostels good and bad and houses that are basically set up as flats also up on harcourt street basically right beside coppers theres a 'wet hostel' where proper degenerates can drink inside all day, dormitory style rooms and recieve three meals a day. The point i'm making is that from what i saw and experienced people chose to sleep rough as they may feel safer doing so i don't know, regarding the sleeping bags theres people that are out EVERY nite looking for rough sleepers giving them tea, soup, sandwiches and sleeping bags. wot still blows my mind is when u see them in doorways why they don't go to a garda station. u can tell them ur homeless and they can't refuse u. u can sleep on the floor till 7am, i know because i had to do it on more than one occassion.

Well i hope i cleared some of that up in my opinion don't EVER give a homeless person money EVER. the reason being is that virtually all have some sort of dependence wheither its drugs of some kind or alcohol thats the sad fact about it. they can be put somewhere so as to sleep, they can eat for nothing and after that its up to them because one thing i can say for absolute certainty is that u will be given virtually no help whatsoever in trying to get yourself out of it.thats the biggest failure of it all.u will be left to rot and not only that ur treated like ****e every step off the way.SORRY about the long long rant but i hope it clears some things up

Quickly about the romanians they recieve no social welfare payments here in ireland. they are allowed to move freely in and out of ireland and offically stay for 3 months at a time. i think we all know what they're really doing here, never under any circumstances give them anything in my opinion. google france and the romanians and see their policies now towards them, there was also an excelllent documentary regarding same last year look up bbc iplayer it might be on it .

To o.p. its a tough predictament you want to help but if the next time you give them money instead understand your enabling their addiction. i also wouldn't be a fan of supporting homeless charities either focus for one useless in my opinion. Unfortunately much like every other social policy successive governments have implemented ultimately they fail miserably. please remenber the last government promised to put an end to homelessness by 2012 this governmnet has pledged 2016. it will fail as homlessness is a highly complex problem which needs massive resources to succeed involving the way we treat drug users both medicinally and criminally down to really ending any and social stratification policies that have been subtely woven into government policies over decades of successive failed governments that has gotten us the cess pit of a country we unfortunately find ourselves confronted with but i'll let you explore those issues on your own time. i only hope you do so. bye

Sadderday wrote: »

Does it matter that it was a sleeping bag really? Is the fact that I wanted to make a difference for him not enough? I just don't think he needed to tell me that he would have preffered money. He should have said nothing instead. It bugs me because I feel like I have done wrong... but I was only trying to help so how can that be wrong? I obviously hadn't disrespected this bloke in any way intentionally

You haven't done wrong. The chap is in desperate circumstances and saw your gift as something he didnt need and was probably voicing his fustration. Don't take it personal and don't let it stop you the next time. People are homeless for all kinds of reasons and just because some are lacking in social skills doesn't mean they are not greatful. Don't do it for the gratitude,do it because you can and want to help. Well done.

bigmac147 wrote: »

hi op and others really do not know where to begin, theres been quite alot of posts now to this thread. Firstly i feel i have to clear up alot of misconceptions etc. people have regarding the homeless you see in dublin everyday (this does NOT include the romanian population, which is an entirely different matter / problem).

Quickly just to say to o.p. your just having a normal human reaction from the events that occured.You went out of your way to do a very kind deed for a complete stranger who in your estimation needed it badly, the reason why ur annoyed is because you didn't get the recipircation for your actions, which in your own mind you felt was waranteed. Totally understandable and completely normal. Please forget about the actual conversation u had with the man, look within urself and realise that that is all it is. You have a heart of gold for thinking of him in the first place so please never lose that, please read on to understand why it was pointless. Just to finish op, You D'ont Give To Recieve. give with all of your heart and blessings or not at all. Hope i'm not coming across as if i'm preaching to you here.

Now back to the homeless, I feel i can speak freely on the subject as i had the misfortune to end up homeless for quite a long period of time not so long ago.about my own experiences i will say they were harrowing times for the most part. I never used drugs in my life and although i enjoy a social drink i never had a problem with alcohol or anything else for that matter infact i was just like urself buying a coffee,sandwich, a smoke, afew euro etc. to the homeless until i ended up as one. Believe me when i say it can easily happen.
When ur first made homeless u present urself at the homeless persons unit(across from pearse st. garda station) they only open from 10am-12 every morning the civil service at its best!!. Ur given a long list of things to do such as registering with dublin city council etc. these forms took me 2 days to get filled in hours a day walking/queing around town, tax office etc.. u then present urself at 160 capel street (d.citycouncil for the homeless) and they FIND YOU A PLACE TO STAY and they WILL FIND YOU A PLACE

The standards i first encountered were third world though. must mention the poster 'illicit' here, every last person without exception in this particular hostel was a chaotic drug user(heroin etc) or degenerate alcoholic and off there tits walking into the building. These hostels are called emergency accomadation, 4.50e a night or nothing if u hadn't recieved a payment they open at 8pm and ur thrown out at 9am. Dormitory style rooms betwen 4 to 20 per room and filthy dirty. even though i wore them in bed they managed to rob my shoes off my feet and these guys are off they're face smoking heroin in the corner for the best part of the night, u don't sleep, an hour or two at best.I can't even describe the toilets suffice to say it involves blood, piss ,**** and everything else u can think of. food consisted of tea/coffee bread cereal and thats that until u can get back in at 8pm.whats truly sad is that some of these people had been living like this for over 2 years. i grew up in an area with a very small handful of known heroin addicts but nothing on these guys scale.

I did find out later u will never go hungry in dublin. u can get something to eat for free from 7.30am in the morning(merchants quay) and if ur willing to walk a bit still get soup and sandwiches up to 8pm. HOMELESS PEOPLE CAN EAT FOR NOTHING, if they so chose.
In saying all that when u get all the forms for pearse st. u recieve a payment the equivalent to the dole its called supplementary benefit i think basically the dole in another name as u've no fixed address. there are other places to stay however, the back lane hostel if u can get into it, own room stay in all day if u wish, the iveagh trust building (2mins from christchurch both places) own room own key and come and go as u please.i met a guy who had been living there 12 years and others alot longer. Sad really basically institutionalised into it. If u kept presenting at capel st. they'd also try to find u something better.
U must realise d.c.council have all types of accomadation set up for the homless b+b's, hostels good and bad and houses that are basically set up as flats also up on harcourt street basically right beside coppers theres a 'wet hostel' where proper degenerates can drink inside all day, dormitory style rooms and recieve three meals a day. The point i'm making is that from what i saw and experienced people chose to sleep rough as they may feel safer doing so i don't know, regarding the sleeping bags theres people that are out EVERY nite looking for rough sleepers giving them tea, soup, sandwiches and sleeping bags. wot still blows my mind is when u see them in doorways why they don't go to a garda station. u can tell them ur homeless and they can't refuse u. u can sleep on the floor till 7am, i know because i had to do it on more than one occassion.

Well i hope i cleared some of that up in my opinion don't EVER give a homeless person money EVER. the reason being is that virtually all have some sort of dependence wheither its drugs of some kind or alcohol thats the sad fact about it. they can be put somewhere so as to sleep, they can eat for nothing and after that its up to them because one thing i can say for absolute certainty is that u will be given virtually no help whatsoever in trying to get yourself out of it.thats the biggest failure of it all.u will be left to rot and not only that ur treated like ****e every step off the way.SORRY about the long long rant but i hope it clears some things up

Quickly about the romanians they recieve no social welfare payments here in ireland. they are allowed to move freely in and out of ireland and offically stay for 3 months at a time. i think we all know what they're really doing here, never under any circumstances give them anything in my opinion. google france and the romanians and see their policies now towards them, there was also an excelllent documentary regarding same last year look up bbc iplayer it might be on it .

To o.p. its a tough predictament you want to help but if the next time you give them money instead understand your enabling their addiction. i also wouldn't be a fan of supporting homeless charities either focus for one useless in my opinion. Unfortunately much like every other social policy successive governments have implemented ultimately they fail miserably. please remenber the last government promised to put an end to homelessness by 2012 this governmnet has pledged 2016. it will fail as homlessness is a highly complex problem which needs massive resources to succeed involving the way we treat drug users both medicinally and criminally down to really ending any and social stratification policies that have been subtely woven into government policies over decades of successive failed governments that has gotten us the cess pit of a country we unfortunately find ourselves confronted with but i'll let you explore those issues on your own time. i only hope you do so. bye

Thanks for the post mate. Why would you not support homless charities?

bigmac147 wrote: »

hi op and others really do not know where to begin, theres been quite alot of posts now to this thread. Firstly i feel i have to clear up alot of misconceptions etc. people have regarding the homeless you see in dublin everyday (this does NOT include the romanian population, which is an entirely different matter / problem).

Quickly just to say to o.p. your just having a normal human reaction from the events that occured.You went out of your way to do a very kind deed for a complete stranger who in your estimation needed it badly, the reason why ur annoyed is because you didn't get the recipircation for your actions, which in your own mind you felt was waranteed. Totally understandable and completely normal. Please forget about the actual conversation u had with the man, look within urself and realise that that is all it is. You have a heart of gold for thinking of him in the first place so please never lose that, please read on to understand why it was pointless. Just to finish op, You D'ont Give To Recieve. give with all of your heart and blessings or not at all. Hope i'm not coming across as if i'm preaching to you here.

Now back to the homeless, I feel i can speak freely on the subject as i had the misfortune to end up homeless for quite a long period of time not so long ago.about my own experiences i will say they were harrowing times for the most part. I never used drugs in my life and although i enjoy a social drink i never had a problem with alcohol or anything else for that matter infact i was just like urself buying a coffee,sandwich, a smoke, afew euro etc. to the homeless until i ended up as one. Believe me when i say it can easily happen.
When ur first made homeless u present urself at the homeless persons unit(across from pearse st. garda station) they only open from 10am-12 every morning the civil service at its best!!. Ur given a long list of things to do such as registering with dublin city council etc. these forms took me 2 days to get filled in hours a day walking/queing around town, tax office etc.. u then present urself at 160 capel street (d.citycouncil for the homeless) and they FIND YOU A PLACE TO STAY and they WILL FIND YOU A PLACE

The standards i first encountered were third world though. must mention the poster 'illicit' here, every last person without exception in this particular hostel was a chaotic drug user(heroin etc) or degenerate alcoholic and off there tits walking into the building. These hostels are called emergency accomadation, 4.50e a night or nothing if u hadn't recieved a payment they open at 8pm and ur thrown out at 9am. Dormitory style rooms betwen 4 to 20 per room and filthy dirty. even though i wore them in bed they managed to rob my shoes off my feet and these guys are off they're face smoking heroin in the corner for the best part of the night, u don't sleep, an hour or two at best.I can't even describe the toilets suffice to say it involves blood, piss ,**** and everything else u can think of. food consisted of tea/coffee bread cereal and thats that until u can get back in at 8pm.whats truly sad is that some of these people had been living like this for over 2 years. i grew up in an area with a very small handful of known heroin addicts but nothing on these guys scale.

I did find out later u will never go hungry in dublin. u can get something to eat for free from 7.30am in the morning(merchants quay) and if ur willing to walk a bit still get soup and sandwiches up to 8pm. HOMELESS PEOPLE CAN EAT FOR NOTHING, if they so chose.
In saying all that when u get all the forms for pearse st. u recieve a payment the equivalent to the dole its called supplementary benefit i think basically the dole in another name as u've no fixed address. there are other places to stay however, the back lane hostel if u can get into it, own room stay in all day if u wish, the iveagh trust building (2mins from christchurch both places) own room own key and come and go as u please.i met a guy who had been living there 12 years and others alot longer. Sad really basically institutionalised into it. If u kept presenting at capel st. they'd also try to find u something better.
U must realise d.c.council have all types of accomadation set up for the homless b+b's, hostels good and bad and houses that are basically set up as flats also up on harcourt street basically right beside coppers theres a 'wet hostel' where proper degenerates can drink inside all day, dormitory style rooms and recieve three meals a day. The point i'm making is that from what i saw and experienced people chose to sleep rough as they may feel safer doing so i don't know, regarding the sleeping bags theres people that are out EVERY nite looking for rough sleepers giving them tea, soup, sandwiches and sleeping bags. wot still blows my mind is when u see them in doorways why they don't go to a garda station. u can tell them ur homeless and they can't refuse u. u can sleep on the floor till 7am, i know because i had to do it on more than one occassion.

Well i hope i cleared some of that up in my opinion don't EVER give a homeless person money EVER. the reason being is that virtually all have some sort of dependence wheither its drugs of some kind or alcohol thats the sad fact about it. they can be put somewhere so as to sleep, they can eat for nothing and after that its up to them because one thing i can say for absolute certainty is that u will be given virtually no help whatsoever in trying to get yourself out of it.thats the biggest failure of it all.u will be left to rot and not only that ur treated like ****e every step off the way.SORRY about the long long rant but i hope it clears some things up

Quickly about the romanians they recieve no social welfare payments here in ireland. they are allowed to move freely in and out of ireland and offically stay for 3 months at a time. i think we all know what they're really doing here, never under any circumstances give them anything in my opinion. google france and the romanians and see their policies now towards them, there was also an excelllent documentary regarding same last year look up bbc iplayer it might be on it .

To o.p. its a tough predictament you want to help but if the next time you give them money instead understand your enabling their addiction. i also wouldn't be a fan of supporting homeless charities either focus for one useless in my opinion. Unfortunately much like every other social policy successive governments have implemented ultimately they fail miserably. please remenber the last government promised to put an end to homelessness by 2012 this governmnet has pledged 2016. it will fail as homlessness is a highly complex problem which needs massive resources to succeed involving the way we treat drug users both medicinally and criminally down to really ending any and social stratification policies that have been subtely woven into government policies over decades of successive failed governments that has gotten us the cess pit of a country we unfortunately find ourselves confronted with but i'll let you explore those issues on your own time. i only hope you do so. bye

I work for a homeless charity and is one of the most informed posts I've ever seen . I can't argue with you on any point.

bigmac147 wrote: »

do you mind mentioning which one mattjack??

MQI

Yes