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How to install Southern Home security system

  • 16-02-2013 07:09AM
    #1
    CollardGreens
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 453 ✭✭


    1 Go to Goodwill store and purchase large mens shoes/work boots.

    2 Place them & copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine next to front door.

    3 Put 4 giant dog dishes next to boots & magazines

    4 Leave a note on the door that reads:


    Bubba,

    Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

    Cooter


Comments

  • #2
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    Enlightening...


  • #3
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    US Security signs

    "Protected by Smith & Wesson"

    "That door you just kicked in was for your protection, not mine"

    "We don't dial 911, we dial .357"

    "Due to the price of ammo, no warning shot will be fired"

    "Firearms welcome. Please keep all firearms holstered unless the need arises, in which case judicious markmanship is appreciated"

    "Daisy Air Rifles: Keeping kids off your lawn since 1886"

    "Can you make it to the fence in .00023 secs? My 9mm can!"

    "Caution: Due to the high cost of an attorney, we shoot to kill!"

    "Danger: My German Shepard has a gun and refuses to take his medication"

    "My idea of gun control is using both hands!"

    "Warning: House protected by husband with guns and wife with PMS. Wanna guess which one is home?"

    "No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

    "Warning: If you are here to see my daughter I have a gun and no sense of humor"

    "Warning: Speed limit enforced by angry neighbors with paintball guns"

    "Love your enemies, but keep your gun oiled"


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