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  • 25-01-2013 04:17PM
    #1
    Bummppd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭


    Hi all, Been writing poems for a while now but never shared them with anyone, Decided no time like the present. Please be honest!

    Forgive me Father for I have sinned,
    Forgive me for this life I live,
    Forgive my actions, Forgive my thoughts,
    Forgive me for all I've lost.

    Forgive me Father for I have strayed,
    Forgive me for this life I waste,
    Forgive my soul, Forgive my heart,
    Forgive my each and every part.

    Forgive me Father for I have cried,
    Forgive me Father for my own demise,
    Forgive my cruelty, Forgive my disgrace,
    Forgive me for my mental state.

    Forgive me Father for I am cursed,
    Forgive me for my little worth,
    Forgive my sadness, Forgive my tears,
    Forgive me for my wasted years.

    Forgive me Father for I have turned,
    Forgive me for all I've burned,
    Forgive my weakness, My unlimited crimes,
    Forgive me Father for I won't survive.

    Forgive me Father for alone I stand,
    Forgive me Father my troublesome land,
    Forgive my insanity, Forgive my intentions,
    Forgive me Father, Please grant me redemption.


Comments

  • #2
    jonbravo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 635 ✭✭✭jonbravo


    Its more like a prayer of some kind just in case you meet the devil instead of god...if you get me!? I understand the need to be forgiven..but to whom and why is this important!?


  • #3
    Antilles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭Antilles


    I don't get it.

    Who is talking? Who are they talking to? Why are they asking for forgiveness? Is there a point to the poem at all?


  • #4
    Bummppd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭Bummppd


    jonbravo wrote: »
    Its more like a prayer of some kind just in case you meet the devil instead of god...if you get me!? I understand the need to be forgiven..but to whom and why is this important!?

    I wrote this after my Mother passed away, and was kind of in a place where I had to believe in God and Heaven and all that just for my own sanity ya know!? I totally see what you mean though, But I meant it mostly for forgiving myself as opposed to Gods Forgiveness.


  • #5
    jonbravo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 635 ✭✭✭jonbravo


    Bummppd wrote: »
    I wrote this after my Mother passed away, and was kind of in a place where I had to believe in God and Heaven and all that just for my own sanity ya know!? I totally see what you mean though, But I meant it mostly for forgiving myself as opposed to Gods Forgiveness.

    Everyone understands believe me... poems are about expressions of self in a given moment.
    But be careful of opinion from the likes of me

    Bites..ahhh.


  • #6
    Bummppd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭Bummppd


    jonbravo wrote: »
    Everyone understands believe me... poems are about expressions of self in a given moment.
    But be careful of opinion from the likes of me

    Bites..ahhh.

    Haha.. No worries, I can take it!! :D


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  • #7
    jonbravo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 635 ✭✭✭jonbravo


    Bummppd wrote: »
    Haha.. No worries, I can take it!! :D

    Grand!


  • #8
    Marzipan85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 133 ✭✭Marzipan85


    Bummppd wrote: »
    Forgive my sadness, Forgive my tears,
    Forgive me for my wasted years.

    Like these lines. I suppose, like a song, it needs variation? Like you could have the 'forgive me' bits as a chorus, but you need something to give a bit of variety to the poem to make it more engaging.


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