Social Chameleons

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:08PM #1

Hello..

I've encountered a few of these lately and I find it really irritating.

I live in a city that's renowned for being quite liberal and a bit unconventional. The majority of people have tattoos and there's no shortage of hipsters (unfortunately).

I met this really nice English bloke when I first came here last summer. He was a regular in the bar I worked in. He used to dress in casual clothes like jeans, hoodies, t-shirts and appeared to be ink-free. However, 6 months later i meet him on the street and he's unrecognisable. There he is wearing thick framed glasses (no lenses, of course), a skinny tie and donning retarded looking facial hair. He was acting like a complete d*ckhead and even his accent had changed.

What's the deal with that? I used to like him alot but it just made me think he must be really weak willed and lack strenght of character. How can you be so easily influenced by your surroundings? He was also covered in tattoos. How can someone lose or alter their sense of self so quickly?

Same goes for friends of mine who have recently gotten girlfriends. They act one way around their new fling and a completely different way when out in the pub with the boyz.

Does this annoy anybody else? I think it's the transparency and sheer ridiculousness of it that gets to me most...just be yourself ffs

Kiith · 05-01-2013 02:09PM

It's spreading.

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:11PM

I'm not even referring to hipsters per se...they get enough of a hard time on here...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

Quazzie · 05-01-2013 02:13PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

I'm not even referring to hipsters per se...they get enough of a hard time on here...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

Perhaps thats who he was all along and now that is out on his own and free from his original surroundings he feels free to be himself now.

Fr_Dougal · 05-01-2013 02:14PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

I met this really nice English bloke when I first came here last summer. He was a regular in the bar I worked in. He used to dress in casual clothes like jeans, hoodies, t-shirts and appeared to be ink-free. However, 6 months later i meet him on the street and he's unrecognisable. There he is wearing thick framed glasses (no lenses, of course), a skinny tie and donning retarded looking facial hair. He was acting like a complete d*ckhead and even his accent had changed.

What's the deal with that? I used to like him alot but it just made me think he must be really weak willed and lack strenght of character. How can you be so easily influenced by your surroundings? He was also covered in tattoos. How can someone lose or alter their sense of self so quickly?

Same goes for friends of mine who have recently gotten girlfriends. They act one way around their new fling and a completely different way when out in the pub with the boyz.s

Sounds as if now they're just somebody that you used to know.

kneemos · 05-01-2013 02:14PM

The glasses without lenses must look comical.

tigger123 · 05-01-2013 02:17PM

People change all the time, and have the right to be whomever they want to be, change their hair, their style, get into a different scene, whatever they want. Why does it bother you so much OP?

Stercus Accidit · 05-01-2013 02:20PM

The OP has 2 posts and is describing a guy who wears glasses frames with no lenses in them.

I don't believe this is an honest story for a moment.

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:23PM

Strawberry Fields wrote: »

When I read that I thought she was in London. This is in Dublin is it?

No...Berlin

Czarcasm · 05-01-2013 02:23PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

Hello..

I've encountered a few of these lately and I find it really irritating.

I live in a city that's renowned for being quite liberal and a bit unconventional. The majority of people have tattoos and there's no shortage of hipsters (unfortunately).

I met this really nice English bloke when I first came here last summer. He was a regular in the bar I worked in. He used to dress in casual clothes like jeans, hoodies, t-shirts and appeared to be ink-free. However, 6 months later i meet him on the street and he's unrecognisable. There he is wearing thick framed glasses (no lenses, of course), a skinny tie and donning retarded looking facial hair. He was acting like a complete d*ckhead and even his accent had changed.

What's the deal with that? I used to like him alot but it just made me think he must be really weak willed and lack strenght of character. How can you be so easily influenced by your surroundings? He was also covered in tattoos. How can someone lose or alter their sense of self so quickly?

Same goes for friends of mine who have recently gotten girlfriends. They act one way around their new fling and a completely different way when out in the pub with the boyz.

Does this annoy anybody else? I think it's the transparency and sheer ridiculousness of it that gets to me most...just be yourself ffs

It's entirely plausible your friend was covering up this side of themselves in order to fit in with their peers, then eventually gained the confidence to indeed "be themselves".

I've seen it happen with straight acting gay men who "come out" and their dress sense, mannerisms, and even their personality does a complete about turn so to speak.

Certainly it can be mildly annoying when you think you know somebody and then they turn out to be the complete opposite of what you had become used to, but c'est la vie!

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:25PM

tigger123 wrote: »

People change all the time, and have the right to be whomever they want to be, change their hair, their style, get into a different scene, whatever they want. Why does it bother you so much OP?

I'm aware that people change and grow continually, what bothers me is people who act differently just to fit into their current suroundings as opposed to having some integrity and just being themselves

Ihatecuddles-old · 05-01-2013 02:29PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

I'm aware that people change and grow continually, what bothers me is people who act differently just to fit into their current suroundings as opposed to having some integrity and just being themselves

How do you know this isn't him being himself?? What bothers me is people reading so much into the lives of others.

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:34PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

How do you know this isn't him being himself?? What bothers me is people reading so much into the lives of others.

Jesus...I'm not talking about that d*ckhead specifically...there are loads of people who act this way...i'm talking about it in general terms

WhatNowForUs? · 05-01-2013 02:38PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

Jesus...I'm not talking about that d*ckhead specifically...there are loads of people who act this way...i'm talking about it in general terms

Why is he a dickhead. He only changed his appearance as far as I can tell.

PrincessPreach · 05-01-2013 02:54PM

WhatNowForUs? wrote: »

Why is he a dickhead. He only changed his appearance as far as I can tell.

Sigh...and his accent, his personality, his skin..pretty much everything I orinigally liked about him has vanished

Ficheall · 05-01-2013 03:00PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

Everyone does that.

Do you think I want to wear trousers??

shrewd · 05-01-2013 03:11PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

Ficheall wrote: »

Everyone does that.

Do you think I want to wear trousers??

i agree, it's called Adaptation. one of human being's ability.

What i see here is a foreigner/stranger in a new country that is just trying to fit in.

Sinfonia · 05-01-2013 03:20PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR0S50G4DqA

Esoteric_ · 05-01-2013 03:26PM

I have several tattoos, almost all of which were gotten in the past year.

I wear plastic rimmed glasses for the past 2 years instead of wire rims.

I wear dorky hats that hipsters wear occasionally, 'cause I think they can be cute.

My accent changed about a year after moving to a new area, because it's all I was hearing.

Maybe he is just being himself? It's not that implausible. :pac:

Truncheon Rouge · 05-01-2013 04:50PM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

I'm not even referring to hipsters per se...they get enough of a hard time on here...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

I think everyone kinda has to though. You're probably going to act differently when the boss is around for example. Or if you're around your grandparents...no talking about who you shagged or calling people f**king bollox's then.

I once worked in Ryanair and Micko paid a visit. I couldn't believe how some were acting like Elvis had just made a miraculous visit. Damn did they change from individuals to a collective bunch of ass licking admirers. Even the badass smokers, rebels that they are.

Me however...i was very m'eh about it cause thats just how i roll.

FloatingVoter · 05-01-2013 04:53PM

I'm wearing a wedding dress at the moment. It helps while I grow my Spring beard. Do you think I've changed from any of my previous posts.
Be liberal.

yermandan · 05-01-2013 04:56PM

Live and let live dude

PingO_O · 06-01-2013 01:20AM

People are different around different people. Nothing wrong with that. As for him acting like a dickhead chances are he was all along and you just didn't know him that well?

And when there's someone you're attracted to involved feelings and nerves can go all over the place so of course people are going to be different around someone their trying to court.

As long as you're being yourself then its all gooood man

wendell borton · 06-01-2013 02:05AM

When in Rome and all that.

Smidge · 06-01-2013 02:33AM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

Sigh...and his accent, his personality, his skin..pretty much everything I orinigally liked about him has vanished

Jaysus, he'd want to get that looked at:eek:

WoollyRedHat · 06-01-2013 02:34AM

I hate those people who dress up at halloween, so fake.

beks101 · 06-01-2013 02:45AM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

I'm not even referring to hipsters per se...they get enough of a hard time on here...it's just people who change to suit their surroundings and act different in certain situations or round certain people..

I think it's a classic confidence thing really. Trying to emulate the people around you because you need external validation. You need people to like you because you don't like yourself very much...etc etc psychology 101.

That said, some people are just a bit impressionable, lacking a bit in creativity maybe and if someone with a style they admire comes along, that person sort of unconsciously might think, 'that's cool, I'll give that a try'.

I went on a college semester abroad with a few girls from my class and this happened.

Girl A was a total hipster, loved her vintage clothes, had jet black hair cut into a sharp bob, always wore rouge lipstick and black black eyeliner, ripped tights and 'one off' 50s style dresses.

Girl B was as run-of-the-mill as they come. Lived in her skinny jeans and converse, loved her hoodies, wore little makeup and loved to shop in River Island.

By the end of the semester, girl B had morphed into a carbon copy of girl A, right down to the music she was listening to and tv shows she started watching. Was the weirdest and most eerie thing in the world to watch the two of them together, with their drastic dark bobs and blood red lipstick. They bought matching vintage winter coats at one stage and it was like something out of the twilight zone :eek:

Fast forward six years and they're still joined at the hip with similar hair styles and wardrobes.

06-01-2013 03:27AM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

What's the deal with that? I used to like him alot but it just made me think he must be really weak willed and lack strenght of character. How can you be so easily influenced by your surroundings? He was also covered in tattoos. How can someone lose or alter their sense of self so quickly?

I get what you're saying. It's not that he's suddenly just become himself, just that he seems affected rather than genuine?

I know two people like that, one affects a particular accent when she's out with a particular group. It's not unconscious since I've heard her amending her pronounciation, and I just don't understand why. If people like you for who you're not, what's the point?

osarusan · 06-01-2013 03:33AM

WhatNowForUs? · 07-01-2013 12:53AM

PrincessPreach wrote: »

Sigh...and his accent, his personality, his skin..pretty much everything I orinigally liked about him has vanished

Somebody's accent doesn't make them a dickhead, somebody's skin doesn't make them a dickhead maybe his personality but you need to elaborate on that point because as of now the only thing we can ascertain is that the former friend may have a confidence issue which in itself does not make him a dickhead.

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