In The Playpen - Davidius

More like GAYvidius.


I'll show myself out...

How are you?
How are they?
Who do you think they are?
Who do they think they are?
What do you think they are doing to find out who they are?
What are you doing to find out what they are doing to find out who they are?
What do they think you are doing to find out what they are doing to find out who they are?
What do you think they'll expect you to do to find out what they are thinking you're doing to find out what they are are doing to find out who they are?
What are they doing to find out who you are in terms of their expectations of your attempts to find out what they're thinking you're doing to find out what they are doing to find out who they are and what they are looking for from you to find out who you think they are and what you want with them when you consider who you are, who they are, and who both of you at this moment in time think you are?

Fill in the blanks!

If I were a _____ and I just got a _____ from a ______, the first thing I'd do with my new _____ would be to buy a _____ to go with the it and go straight to ______. Then as soon as I go to ______, I'd ______ the _______ from the ______, then escape from there as fast as I could. It seems like the only _____ plan of action in those _____. But this ______, how it all started was I was _____ my ______, when I saw ______ with a ______ trying to _____ a ______. All I could do was _____ my _____ and try to _____ it. And this led to ______ which was where I _____ the original _______, and I only had to do this because I'm a ______, as a result of _______.

Palytoxin wrote: »

Fill in the blanks!

If I were a carpenter and I just got a giant wooden stake from a Roman, the first thing I'd do with my new death-bed would be to buy a few nails or a bit of the strength of the Holy Father to go with the it and go straight to that hill where they barbarically execute people for petty political crimes.. Then as soon as I go to my burial cave, I'd move the boulder from the place of entry, then escape from there as fast as I could. It seems like the only divine plan of action in those collections of viable plans of actions sorted by bound of efficiency. But this shíte, how it all started was I was preaching my all-time best seller, when I saw Judas with a gambling problem trying to betray a brother. All I could do was preach my sermon and try to magically predict it. And this led to state of deification which was where I became the original J-man, and I only had to do this because I'm a Godly badass, as a result of my divine virginal birth that definitely happened..

Agnostic Mantis wrote: »

Are your real-life conversations as entertaining as your posts on boards? Because if they are then I'd like to know you. Carnally.
Of course not, that would be impossible. Real life conversations put a much lower-bound on socially acceptable response times which in turn have a negative relationship with the overall entertainment value of the response function for all t at which it's well-defined. Moreover the structure of a real-life conversation is much different. There's a back and forth between each vertex with neither being a source or sink so the capacity of the edges between the vertices is necessarily restricted. Sorry for over-simplifying it, a better explanation requires the use of measures on event spaces with the appropriate outcomes but I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from.

All that's a bit of an aside though. It's impossible because I don't have real-life conversations.

I don't know what that last word means but it sounds cool so I'm going to start saying it to women in the street. They'll think I am so smart and articulate.

I don't know what to write here.

Would you prefer to have the long neck of a giraffe, the long trunk of an elephant, or the long mane of a lion?

Davidius, o oldest and wisest of the Vidius family,
Do you prefer yellow or white street lights? (Assuming the same no. of Lumens emitted)
Do you prefer newspapers or magazines? (Assuming all content in both is identical)
Do you prefer chocolate or coffee cake? (Assuming portions are of the same calorific value)
Do you prefer when I ask questions in a usual or unusual manner? (Assuming both questions will produce the same answer)

Palytoxin wrote: »

Davidius, o oldest and wisest of the Vidius family,
I think I see what has been done here. Like I said there is no proof of paternity for any of these children so it's not my problem.
Do you prefer yellow or white street lights? (Assuming the same no. of Lumens emitted)
I have no preference. See colours question from before.

Do you prefer newspapers or magazines? (Assuming all content in both is identical)
I have no particular preference as I read neither. I will lean toward newspaper as they are easier to dispose of. I do have questions about what kind of newspaper would have the same contents as a magazine. Either it seems like a poor newspaper or the magazine has a very broad yet narrow audience and will likely be cancelled by the 5th issue.

Do you prefer chocolate or coffee cake? (Assuming portions are of the same calorific value)
Whichever one won't give me diabetes first.

Do you prefer when I ask questions in a usual or unusual manner? (Assuming both questions will produce the same answer)
No.

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Rank these biscuits (and feel free to comment on their respective qualities / failures).
I know not what metric or measure to use for the ranking. If I am to comment on their qualities and failures then I'd need to consistently evaluate them along the same points to form any sort of meaningful ranking. As such I have omitted the ranking entirely to save myself the hassle of being consistent or reliable.

Bourbon - This is a very standard biscuit that can do no wrong. It can't do much right however. It is the Mario of biscuits.
Crunch Cream - What the hell's a Crunch Cream?
Custard Cream - These are good in medium doses but eating too many will give you temporary diabetes or a weird taste in your mouth. Unfortunately they are also addictive. The biscuit part may be superfluous and obstructive as it just falls apart anyway.
Digestive - If Bourbon's are the Mario of biscuits then Digestives are the [analogy to most bare possible structure]. They are not really worth eating - if you're going to eat unhealthy food you might as well enjoy the taste of poison. This is why I don't understand 'drink to get drunk' types. They should be trying to enjoy the taste of the thing, not drinking pig piss for the sake of it. These people are wrong.
Fruit Shortcake - They're biscuits all right.
Gingernut - An even bigger waste of time than a digestive.
Golden Crunch - Honestly I don't know what biscuits half these names denote.
Hobnob - Sounds like a bit of dickhead.
Jammie Dodger - I admit it, I know sweet fúck all about biscuits.
Kimberly - This is pure torture, I thought Kimberly was a brand that covered a range of biscuits. Stop highlighting my ignorance.
Malted Milk - Now you're just making these up.
Nice - They do not live up to their namesake.
Oreo - Alright
Pink wafer - Are those those biscuits that are already eaten by the time you get to the tin? I have only heard about them but never have I seen them with my own eyes. I wish to see one. It's one of those pipe dreams I have.
Rich Tea - Doesn't exist.

I am also an experienced director:

Why do you know nothing about biscuits??

Palytoxin wrote: »

Favourite mathematician?
You're not supposed to have a favourite mathematician; their work is supposed to be appreciated in isolation without reflecting them as people. This kind of celebrity worship will destroy our society. That or nuclear war. Also I don't have a broad enough range in higher mathematics to make such distinction but tentatively Bernhard Riemann.

Do you like vinegar?
I like Salt & Vinegar crisps. I'm not convinced 'vinegar' is a real thing in isolation, like the P in PHP.

Would you prefer surfing or skiing, given a choice of the two, where you must choose one?
Skiing because jelly-yetis haven't been perfected yet.

I would like your opinion on chewing gum.
I have no opinion on chewing gum. I'm sorry and I understand how devastating that must be to you. I can't lie after the biscuit incident.

Favourite quote from a film?
I don't have a favourite quote from a film. I do not weigh up such trivial things. I can tell you my favourite penguin bar joke though. Actually I won't because you might disagree.

Deedeecupcake wrote: »

Why do you know nothing about biscuits??
I don't have room in my memory for biscuit trivia, only important things like tricks to make people fall down the pit in Ghost Fort as a Spy.

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Lies.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkdxbohDLq1qb206z.jpg
Nice try but I can smell a photoshop from kilometres away.

What's your opinion on the following things:

Pink shirts - I have no real opinions on such matters. I would personally never deviate from my plain white shirt only policy and I don't think I can respect anybody who does however.
Marmalade - I do not desire it.
Bull fighting - I don't think it's our place to judge how cows settle their differences.
Fireworks - Loud, annoying and dangerous. I'm all for them.
blimey - He's no tradoburns.
Public display of armpit hair - Seems like it would involve an unnecessary amount of arm-raising, and I take objections to deliberate attempts to show off. In principle I do not care about seeing armpit hair, it is the intent that should be destroyed.
Slippers - They exist as far as I can tell.
Hippies - They existed as far as I can tell.
Shoes - They allow me to walk on jagged granular services without cuts to the soles of my feet. I see the function though I do not use them because I'm too manly to be detered by such pain. I do not understand why women take such an interest in them.
Ugg boots - I have no opinion on such matters. I've been briefed on what exactly they are before but have since discarded that information. Nobody should have an opinion on such matters. It is morally wrong.
jumpguy - He was good in Gran Torino
Dogs - Loud.
Teenagers - All of them are immature. Even the ones that think they're mature aren't. They're just self-righteous, obsessive or insular. They will never truly understand why people are so dismissive of them until they make this realisation as we all have done before. As you know this will be on the stroke of midnight on their 20th birthday and transcends all relativistic and horological (cool word) considerations. Similar realisations are probably made at decade long intervals.
tradoburns - An endless fountain of rich story telling and philosophically interesting conversation.
This guy - The tool of those who have lost an argument. Taken to be a sign of defeat in many cultures.
Puns - They're not always that punny.
"lol" - A perfectly functional word for expressing a reaction ranging from mild amusement to literal audible laughter regardless of etymological considerations. Not a word to use when you want to disguise an insult (use ) or when you don't know how to end a sentence lol.
Killing spiders - I have never been inclined to do such a thing. I sometimes do it accidently and feel regret. Killing spiders makes me feel worse than funding the murder of intelligent pigs. The human mind is quite a thing.
Jaffa Cakes - They're delicious. I buy the Tesco brand ones because they have a very high quality floor with a low quality increase per cent.
Odd socks - I have no opinions on such matters because I do not make a habit of examining socks. If you do then you are a bad person.
Noel Edmond's facial hair - I don't know who that is.
Jedward - Music for teenage girls.
Co. Cork - They do not drive well in Cork. They like to make a distinction between the city and the rest of the county but there is none. They are all part of a pan-Corkian identity and should just admit that they're all bad drivers who should really apologise for killing Mick Collins.
Screaminmidget - A notorious racist.

Tá obair a dhéanamh agam.

JamJamJamJam wrote: »

What's your opinion on
Vegetarianism - As valid a choice as any really. I understand that not all of you can be as bloodthirsty as I am, after all we can't have everybody eating the spoils of war against those lesser being. We'd run out of food and then we'd have to eat the less-able would-be vegetarians. So really vegetarianism is a merely a smart survival choice for many people.
Feminism - The one's that actually tackle serious issues of inequality and oppression, I like them. They're championing a worthy cause. The shrill ones that can find misogyny in pack of crisps and throw around sociological ideas with vague definitions and spurious evidence, they should stop doing that and help out the serious ones.
After Hours - Also known as the Dublin forum.
Mitt Romney - He's gone save us from that evil socialist Barrack Hussein O-bomb-a
Obama - I don't have any strong opinions on him. He is just another American politician whose ridiculous cult of personality is brought into far too easily. It's not even a good cult. Mine's better.
Atheism - How foolish are those who would deny my existence. - Me; 17:10ish
Environmentalism - It sure seems like a worthy cause and there does seem to be quite a bit of evidence but no, it makes me uncomfortable to have to face reality. Instead I will go on internet forums and claim that any companies that benefit are paying off all those scientists to fake volumes of rigorous evidence because corporations are evul
Artificial sweeteners - They're delicious.
Clowns - They'll kill you given half the chance. I saw it in a documentary.
The newer Simpsons series - The new episodes hurt my soul. I support the The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons distinction.

These more political type questions are too controversial for my liking. I don't want to have to think about things.

anirishlad wrote: »

What is your opinion on the following countys: Cavan, Roscommon, Leitrim and Monaghan.

Bastards.

I didn't do Niall because he never says anything and thus is unrelated. [4th from bottom, left to right LLAIN]. My name doesn't appear in there at all I'm afraid.

If I did anything else wrong it's your fault.

Would you rather have a 6 inch or 12 inch ruler?