No sex in my house.....

Talib Fiasco · 22-09-2012 07:40PM

Take the mattress to the kitchen, proceed, and if he/she knocks and asks whats going on just say you were just after finishing tossing a salad.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 07:43PM

you need to spend some time with him/her, if you do it right they will realize your not quite the catch, hence allowing you access to your beloved, who is going to fook them off big time.

Micky Dolenz · 22-09-2012 07:44PM

How old are you and you girlfriend?

I thought digs were only for 1st college students, the nerdy ones.

smash · 22-09-2012 07:44PM

laoisman11 wrote: »

Instead, there is a type of converted garage adjacent to the house where we are instructed to go to sleep/practise the moves on a fold-up couch.

Guarantee there's a hidden web cam in there!

Edit... beaten to it like 3 times already...

cloptrop · 22-09-2012 07:46PM

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 07:47PM

cloptrop wrote: »

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

Thats, cloptrop.

say_who_now? · 22-09-2012 07:51PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

How old are you and you girlfriend?

I thought digs were only for 1st college students, the nerdy ones.

I think the OP said they were both in their 30's Mickey, makes them im-mature students!

OP surely your GF could surely just call over to your place instead of you going over there, whitewashing the walls and then fúcking off leaving your girlfriend to deal with the clean up job? :pac:

cloptrop · 22-09-2012 07:51PM

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

cloptrop wrote: »

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

Thats, cloptrop.

Had to do this to the girlfriends father a few years ago . He stopped strugglin once he realised how much I was enjoying the struggle.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 07:52PM

cloptrop wrote: »

Had to do this to the girlfriends father a few years ago . He stopped strugglin once he realised how much I was enjoying the struggle.

this still stinks of cloptrop.

BillyMitchel · 22-09-2012 07:53PM

All this means is when you're in the sex lair, he knows exactly what's going on and he's pulling hard, very hard.

You and the misses will walk in red faced and you'll meet him also red faced with some damp tissues in his hand and a big cheeky grin on his face.

Tombi! · 22-09-2012 07:55PM

Dean09 wrote: »

Why not??
It's ridiculous and out of order. Fair enough it's his house and his rules and all but they're grown adults and not his children.
I'd tell him to fúck off and go find a different flat.

There is that option of leaving, yes. But his house, his rules.

Jellicoe wrote: »

So why the weird set up of saying they can have sex in his garage instead ?
Nothing to do with religion whatsoever i'd say.

I'm not the landlord. Maybe he just wants them doing it in the garage where he can video it?

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 07:57PM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Damn you mini!

Maybe the owner just doesn't want you putting footprints all over the walls!

I shared a flat before with my girlfriend and the landlord put up a sign in the bathroom beside the shower saying "One at a time in the shower!" with a picture of two rabbits underneath it, lol, because the other tenants were complaining apparently!

Another house I shared I was taking a bath one night and the other guy, walking by the bathroom roared out "DON'T BE **** IN THE BATH!!"... he may have been joking, but for about 30 seconds I wondered "How the hell did he hear me??", before I went back to playing with my rubber ducky! :pac:

diddie ya mean was a man.

dodderangler · 22-09-2012 08:00PM

So this is that big brother show that people talk about!

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 08:02PM

dodderangler wrote: »

So this is that big brother show that people talk about!

Go find him, destroy him, love him just before he.

cloptrop · 22-09-2012 08:04PM

What if the garage is occupado . Where can you go then.

Zebra3 · 22-09-2012 08:05PM

cloptrop wrote: »

What if the garage is occupado . Where can you go then.

Join in. :pac:

CatEyed92 · 22-09-2012 08:06PM

She also could be trying to get you to hurry up and take the big step:

Ask her to move in with you

kowloon · 22-09-2012 08:30PM

The fold-up couch might want a little more than febreeze on it if you plan on accepting the terms.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 08:34PM

kowloon wrote: »

The fold-up couch might want a little more than febreeze on it if you plan on accepting the terms.

promotion of sex wid aminils is not the whey to go.

zenno · 22-09-2012 08:40PM

1ZRed wrote: »

Have sex in the bedroom anyway. How would the owner ever know?

Durrrty :pac:

Hidden camera in said bedroom, OP look at all cracks and covers on all the walls just incase there is a hidden camera as i wouldn't put it past a crazy mortal like this.

say_who_now? · 22-09-2012 08:42PM

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

kowloon wrote: »

The fold-up couch might want a little more than febreeze on it if you plan on accepting the terms.

promotion of sex wid aminils is not the whey to go.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think 3nahalfof6 is after finishing off the whole six pack and started on another slab of beer?

moy83 · 22-09-2012 08:43PM

Ride the landlady , she probably hasnt had the rub in awhile and is just nervous . But once she gets a sniff of micky again she will let ye at it in every room in the house so long as you throw her a bone every once in awhile .

wonderfullife · 22-09-2012 08:47PM

laoisman11 wrote: »

Thought that might catch ye're attention!

The OH is living a few hours away (temporary work arrangement) and has had to move flats lately. The new place she has found has an owner who has explicitly forbidden that we sleep together in the bedroom. Instead, there is a type of converted garage adjacent to the house where we are instructed to go to sleep/practise the moves on a fold-up couch. I'd normally spend every second weekend in her place......

Fair enough, as it's the owner's house, they can put in place whatever rules they like but I'm not sure what to make of this at all.....we're both in our 30s FFS. It kind of feels that we're going to do something totally immoral and maybe illegal (I realise that that may be a turn-on for some!) and that we're too debased/immoral/dirty to be allowed sleep (and have sex) in a bedroom.

Herself has accepted it and I haven't really challenged her on it for the moment as she's in the middle of something.

So what do ye reckon? Would ye accept to share a house under this type of restriction? Do ye think it's acceptable to put this type of condition on someone who is paying you rent?

I dunno, i'll give the place a look next weekend, maybe it won't be that bad, and for sure my first aim will be to break the house rules as soon as possible. Otherwise.....herself might be looking for a new flat.....

The Landlord can by rights forbid you from sleeping over (but that's more to do with exercising his rights as a landlord) but it's either you are not allowed stay in the premises or you are. If you are allowed sleep in the premises it can in her room. A landlord CAN'T forbid you from having sex in her bedroom in the daytime. Full stop. Straight to a solicitor if you're arsed. She has an absolute freedom to do whatever she wants in her bedroom.

There's so many consitutional rights to protect this.

Edit: wait, if the landlord lives there then yeah that's different. completely.

zenno · 22-09-2012 08:48PM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Is it just me, or does anyone else think 3nahalfof6 is after finishing off the whole six pack and started on another slab of beer?

Lucky Bastard.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 09:07PM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Is it just me, or does anyone else think 3nahalfof6 is after finishing off the whole six pack and started on another slab of beer?

True, I just don't know where AH begins and ends, I got an infraction, I spent 3 hrs trying to hold the position in front of a big fook off mirror, to make sure my sphincter was still, in me hole,

I will not create a thread,(I was told they were pointless) ehhh is this not what AH is about, while they might not always work, 3 out of ten do, it might bring a smile to someones face,

it has done for me many times, I was feeling like shiit, and someone posted something funny, no context no substance, but it woke me up, I got involved,

while it might of been shiite, for that short time I felt part of the community,

part of the AHers who feel like they would love to get more involved, but think their input is not up to the mark, BOLLOCKS, me thinks just go for it, to be banished from the community is very harsh, we should learn to live with it and find humans who do respect us, find (know) our worth.

I hope I don't get an infraction for this, its very sore.

darlett · 22-09-2012 09:17PM

I got gloss on my lips (lips)
A man on my hips (hips)
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans

Actin' up (up)
Drinkin' my cup (cup)
I can care less what you think

I need no permission
Did I mention?
Don't pay him any attention

Cause you had your turn (turn)
And now you're gonna learn (learn)
What it really feels like to miss me

Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

kincsem · 22-09-2012 09:33PM

laoisman11 wrote: »

The new place she has found has an owner who has explicitly forbidden that we sleep together in the bedroom. Instead, there is a type of converted garage adjacent to the house where we are instructed to go to sleep/practise the moves on a fold-up couch.

The landlord can't be bothered moving the video camera from the garage back into the house.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 09:36PM

kincsem wrote: »

The landlord can't be bothered moving the video camera from the garage back into the house.

pure bastard, do you got any trees close to you.

cloptrop · 22-09-2012 09:43PM

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

kincsem wrote: »

The landlord can't be bothered moving the video camera from the garage back into the house.

pure bastard, do you got any trees close to you.

I get a tree riight over my car everytime I park it outside my house . All the crap falling off them . Now that I think of it its probably the same fecker. Harrassing me he is. Its like he knows when Im gonna be there . Waits for me.

3ndahalfof6 · 22-09-2012 09:53PM

cloptrop wrote: »

I get a tree riight over my car everytime I park it outside my house . All the crap falling off them . Now that I think of it its probably the same fecker. Harrassing me he is. Its like he knows when Im gonna be there . Waits for me.

You need to embrace the tree, going to your neighbor and telling how much you love the tree and how much your misses loves to wake up and to see it there,

reverse treeness, tomorrow it will not be there.

goes to work with a super smile, so much so you looked like a UFO.

No sex in my house.....

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