Awkward situations

Pherekydes · 12-09-2012 03:58PM

My mother was ill a few years back and went into hospital. My cousin, who works in the local SQ was sympathising with me. A few weeks (3, I think) later I bumped into her again:

Her: How's your mother?
Me: She's dead. Didn't you hear? <brother> told Uncle Brian and he said he'd tell your Dad.

Cue shock and awkward silence.

Kraftwerk91 · 12-09-2012 04:27PM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Mickey H wrote: »

A rather awkward situation is when you do your shirt up in a hurry (!) and one side is lower than the other. You're talking to someone and you realise that they have copped but nothing is said by either party. Truly awkward.

Worse again is when you're half cut in the club, you go to the toilet and you want to get back out on the dance floor in a hurry, so you have your zip and your belt done back up, back out on the floor...

When a hot girl points out that your front shirt flap is sticking out the zip of your pants! :pac:

Not me, happened to a friend, i swear!

You think that's awkward? I've lost count of the amount of times I've rushed into college in the morning (fully sober) only to realise after an hour or so that my fly had been undone the whole time! One time a friend informed me of it (loudly) in front of a load of my friends. :-[

BillyMitchel · 12-09-2012 04:37PM

After bringing a much much more mature woman home and giving her the time of her life, its time to leave. So its probably about 7ish in the morning and shes walking down the stairs and we bump into my mother. My mother is looking at this woman so hard that she missed the step up and falls flat on her face. Loud bang and seconds later my old man, sister and nephew are all just standing there looking at this woman while my mother scraps herself off the stairs while the oul one runs out the door!

smurgen · 12-09-2012 04:40PM

rode an older woman, I was 24 and she was 38. Was after a night out and had drank a half litre of gin before even getting to the first pub. To make a long story short I woke up in the morning in a giant puddle of piss with her passed out next to me. We have mutual friend and regularly bump into each other. We neveer did and never will dicuss me pissing her bed.

jessiejam · 12-09-2012 04:43PM

smurgen wrote: »

rode an older woman, I was 24 and she was 38. Was after a night out and had drank a half litre of gin before even getting to the first pub. To make a long story short I woke up in the morning in a giant puddle of piss with her passed out next to me. We have mutual friend and regularly bump into each other. We neveer did and never will dicuss me pissing her bed.

Is that you <insert name> you owe me for a mattress. Piss ass.

godtabh · 12-09-2012 04:43PM

Meeting my girlfriends father for the first time and showing him my Galaxy tab and how fancy it was only to discover that last page I was on the internet was a porn site. Took me about 5secs to close the page but felt like a life time

tylercollins · 12-09-2012 04:52PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I shagged my best friends sister a few years ago.

I thought he'd never forgive me after he'd found out what had happened

Did that with my ex girlfriends sister and thought the same.. :eek:

Mick Electric · 12-09-2012 05:02PM

Met a female acquaintance in a bar who I had known was pregnant. Rubbed my hand over her belly with a smile saying "it won't be long now". "I had it 2 weeks ago" she says.

mauzo · 12-09-2012 05:05PM

Most awkward moment of my life!

Went on a date with a guy, went great. We had a great night and went back to his.

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

Anyway, we wake up the next morning and I go to roll over on to my stomach to talk to him....

I let out the biggest fart you've ever heard in your life. I was mortified! I just mashed my face into the bed, he said nothing! I kept saying in my head 'please laugh or something'!!! I blame the anal

RossyG · 12-09-2012 05:13PM

mauzo wrote: »

I let out the biggest fart you've ever heard in your life... I blame the anal

That's the difference between humans and ovens: ovens don't fart when you pull out the meat.

wp_rathead · 12-09-2012 05:20PM

mauzo wrote: »

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

PM sent

:pac:

areyawell · 12-09-2012 05:38PM

I was trying to hop the back wall into a nightclub once when I was 17. Except the wall was 12ft and was too drunk too do it. There was a smaller wall around the side but had to hop a 8 foot fence first with spikes on top but werent sharp. Anyway I got up on the railing and tried to ease myself off it and the spike got stuck in my jeans. I was literally hanging off the railing for around three hours feet dangling in the air unable to free myself. Phone was dead and thought I was gonna be there till morning. (It was Langtons in Kilkenny beside the tax office, I'm sure some people on boards know where I'm on about). Someone must have seen me and rang the gaurds. Gave me a lift home then, there was never a more awkward silence than that in my life.

Mr Benevolent · 12-09-2012 05:47PM

mauzo wrote: »

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

Your Boards.ie stock just shot up. Unless you were using the 'ol appliance on him, in which case your stock has plummeted.

IceFjoem · 12-09-2012 07:03PM

About a year ago I was in Zara in town having a look around, I think I was waiting for a friend to arrive so I was just kind of browsing. It was pretty quiet in the shop, maybe only 4 other customers.

Anyway, I walked over to a shelving unit with a few bottles of aftershave on it. I took one off a shelf that was a bit above head height (I'm about 6ft). I had a good look at the bottle, it was a bulky glass thing, and of course had a sniff (as you do). Just as I was putting it back up onto the shelf, out of nowhere a toddler runs over to look at the shelf of bottles and kind of pushes his way in between me and the shelf.

I just glanced down for a second, but it was however the very second that I was releasing my grip on the bottle. Thinking I was placing it gently back on the shelf, I missed the shelf by about an inch and the bottle fell and cracked the kid in the head with a thud!

The kid started absolutely wailing and ran over to his mother a couple of meters away (who hadn't seen it happen). I turned to the mother to explain what had happened, but couldn't really get a word in as the mother was so concerned looking for signs of injury on the child. Still in shock from what had happened, I moreless mumbled something about a bottle accidentally falling and that I was really really sorry. The mother pretty much ignored me and just gave me a furious scowl! (The whole time me thinking the Gardaí are gonna be called, cause she still has pretty much no idea what I did to the kid!)

She started leaving and I basically tried to keep my head down and moved towards the other end of the shop. The child was still screaming though and the security guard and manager approached the woman to see what the commotion was all about. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'll never as long as I live forget seeing that woman pointing from across the shop at me (proper "she's a witch" style) with the most furious look on her face, and the two staff members turning to look at me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

One of the most ferociously awkward moments I've ever experienced.

IceFjoem · 12-09-2012 07:03PM

About a year ago I was in Zara in town having a look around, I think I was waiting for a friend to arrive so I was just kind of browsing. It was pretty quiet in the shop, maybe only 4 other customers.

Anyway, I walked over to a shelving unit with a few bottles of aftershave on it. I took one off a shelf that was a bit above head height (I'm about 6ft). I had a good look at the bottle, it was a bulky glass thing, and of course had a sniff (as you do). Just as I was putting it back up onto the shelf, out of nowhere a toddler runs over to look at the shelf of bottles and kind of pushes his way in between me and the shelf.

I just glanced down for a second, but it was however the very second that I was releasing my grip on the bottle. Thinking I was placing it gently back on the shelf, I missed the shelf by about an inch and the bottle fell and cracked the kid in the head with a thud!

The kid started absolutely wailing and ran over to his mother a couple of meters away (who hadn't seen it happen). I turned to the mother to explain what had happened, but couldn't really get a word in as the mother was so concerned looking for signs of injury on the child. Still in shock from what had happened, I moreless mumbled something about a bottle accidentally falling and that I was really really sorry. The mother pretty much ignored me and just gave me a furious scowl! (The whole time me thinking the Gardaí are gonna be called, cause she still has pretty much no idea what I did to the kid!)

She started leaving and I basically tried to keep my head down and moved towards the other end of the shop. The child was still screaming though and the security guard and manager approached the woman to see what the commotion was all about. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'll never as long as I live forget seeing that woman pointing from across the shop at me (proper "she's a witch" style) with the most furious look on her face, and the two staff members turning to look at me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

One of the most ferociously awkward moments I've ever experienced.

sligoface · 12-09-2012 07:39PM

not the most awkward ever, but once I was eating dinner at my girlfriends house, where i had recently been allowed to stay over at the weekends. anyway she was vegetarian, no one else in her family was or myself. her mum had made a meatless version of what the rest of us were having and we were talking about the whole vegetarianism thing for a moment as her mother brought out my gf's dinner. her mum's contribution to this conversation was to sing the lyrics of a song that used to be played on the radio which goes "She don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone!"

Poor dear had no idea what the lyrics meant or why all of us burst out laughing.

castletownman · 12-09-2012 07:59PM

Went back to an older lady's house a while back. I'm 24, she was a separated 31 year old. Next morning anyway she said she had to go off for a few minutes but said that since it was raining I could hang around the house and leave when the rain stopped. Anyway, I'd obviously forgot that she told me the night before that she had to mind her two young daughters that day and so had to collect them in the morning. I was there thinking jeez that's lovely of her to be letting me hang around till the weather gets better, and decided to watch the telly downstairs in just my jocks and socks (the old romantic in me coming to the fore). Cue her arriving into the sitting room with the two daughters to be confronted by me lying on the couch in my virtual naked state with some obvious marks from the night before clearly visible.

She had the wherewithal to react quick by sending them upstairs immediately and I managed to pull a blanket over me when I realised the situation. Actually ended up getting on really well with the two daughters, but by fook did it start awkwardly.

Micky Dolenz · 12-09-2012 08:09PM

I was out for dinner recently and saw two men sitting down at a table near by. Turned out it was Bono and a mate. I rushed over and asked Bono's mate to take a pic of me and Bono, to which he duly obliged, to be fair. I thought he looked a bit odd as he wore a funny hat.

It was only when leaving the restaurant, was it pointed out to me that Bono's mate was in fact the Pope, I was morto.

Cheeky_gal · 12-09-2012 08:33PM

My dad got an invitation to the Ryder Cup when it was held in Ireland. He brought me as my mum couldn't go. I was 15 or so.

Anyways we were all in a limo on the way home, myself and my dad and a few of his clients. I hadn't been to the toilet in hours and I had been drinking gallons of water all day..

So I accidentally peed in the limo.

gabsdot40 · 12-09-2012 08:36PM

Doodoo wrote: »

I was in a petrol station and the woman on the till recognized a man she hadnt seen in a while..

Woman on till: Hi xxxx
Man: Not to bad
Woman on till: How is your mother keeping?
Man: She died at xmas
Woman on till(red face):Oh God, how is your dad coping?
Man: He died two months ago.....
Woman on till: I am so, so sorry
Cue awkward silence

I nearly pissed myself trying not to laugh.

I did something like this once, asked someone how their mother was to be told she died. the thing is I have no idea how I didn't know the woman had died. Everyone around me knew and had even been to the funeral. My husband even knew.

Another awkward experience was an excruciating half hour spent at my MILs house with my BIL and his estranged wife. They had been separated for about 18 months in which time she had a baby with another guy. The baby was being passed around and cooed over, (fine) and everyone was pretending like there was no enormous elephant in the room. The mad thing was my MIL had invited her in an attempt to play happy families because it was Christmas. SIL was obviously so uncomfortable and seeing BIL holding the 'love child' of his wife and the guy she left him for was just awful.

say_who_now? · 12-09-2012 08:43PM

Just now.

I was in a hotel conference room full of people at a blood donor clinic. I'd brought my seven year old son along with me but noticed earlier they'd a notice up that no children were allowed in the interview area.

So I left him my second phone and told him to sit tight for a few minutes while I went to be interviewed. A minute later I heard some rather loud sex noises in the background. I looked around just as my son screamed "Daaaaaad!!"...

I'd forgotten I'd some personal videos on the phone and the little shìt was after broadcasting his parents sex life for the whole room to hear, not to mention I've probably scarred him for life!

We got out of there fairly fast!

EDIT: Ahh for God's sake! We're travelling back into town on a fairly packed bus and the little fecker decides to let rip a "silent but deadly"! Honestly, you can't take them anywhere! I think I need to revise my opinion in the "Are they worth the hassle?" thread!

Micky Dolenz · 12-09-2012 08:45PM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Just now.

I was in a hotel conference room full of people at a blood donor clinic. I'd brought my seven year old son along with me but noticed earlier they'd a notice up that no children were allowed in the interview area.

So I left him my second phone and told him to sit tight for a few minutes while I went to be interviewed. A minute later I heard some rather loud sex noises in the background. I looked around just as my son screamed "Daaaaaad!!"...

I'd forgotten I'd some personal videos on the phone and the little shìt was after broadcasting his parents sex life for the whole room to hear, not to mention I've probably scarred him for life!

We got out of there fairly fast!

Pics or ..... :pac:

say_who_now? · 12-09-2012 08:59PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Pics or ..... :pac:

I'd be more embarrassed Mickey if I'd had my pic taken standing between two c0cks tbh!

Kraftwerk91 · 12-09-2012 09:47PM

gabsdot40 wrote: »

Doodoo wrote: »

I was in a petrol station and the woman on the till recognized a man she hadnt seen in a while..

Woman on till: Hi xxxx
Man: Not to bad
Woman on till: How is your mother keeping?
Man: She died at xmas
Woman on till(red face):Oh God, how is your dad coping?
Man: He died two months ago.....
Woman on till: I am so, so sorry
Cue awkward silence

I nearly pissed myself trying not to laugh.

I did something like this once, asked someone how their mother was to be told she died. the thing is I have no idea how I didn't know the woman had died. Everyone around me knew and had even been to the funeral. My husband even knew.

Another awkward experience was an excruciating half hour spent at my MILs house with my BIL and his estranged wife. They had been separated for about 18 months in which time she had a baby with another guy. The baby was being passed around and cooed over, (fine) and everyone was pretending like there was no enormous elephant in the room. The mad thing was my MIL had invited her in an attempt to play happy families because it was Christmas. SIL was obviously so uncomfortable and seeing BIL holding the 'love child' of his wife and the guy she left him for was just awful.

What do all the initialisms mean? MIL and so forth.

brummytom · 12-09-2012 09:48PM

Kraftwerk91 wrote: »

What do all the initialisms mean? MIL and so forth.

Mother-in-law and Brother-in-law I'm guessing

Kraftwerk91 · 12-09-2012 09:49PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I was out for dinner recently and saw two men sitting down at a table near by. Turned out it was Bono and a mate. I rushed over and asked Bono's mate to take a pic of me and Bono, to which he duly obliged, to be fair. I thought he looked a bit odd as he wore a funny hat.

It was only when leaving the restaurant, was it pointed out to me that Bono's mate was in fact the Pope, I was morto.

Reminds me of this old classic:

What's the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn't think he's Bono.

LenaClaire · 12-09-2012 09:52PM

I have two short ones.

First, I was minding a 5 year old neighbour. We had another neighbour that was rather large. We run into her walking to the shop and the kid says "Are you pregnant?! My mom says people get really fat when they are pregnant!" The lady was nice about it but I was mortified.

Second, I was at the shops with my friend and her mother. All three of us did martial arts together. We run into one of the guys from class and he say "hi, I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" really loudly and half the shop turned around to stare at us

MarthaMyDear · 13-09-2012 12:24AM

say_who_now? wrote: »

Just now.

I was in a hotel conference room full of people at a blood donor clinic. I'd brought my seven year old son along with me but noticed earlier they'd a notice up that no children were allowed in the interview area.

So I left him my second phone and told him to sit tight for a few minutes while I went to be interviewed. A minute later I heard some rather loud sex noises in the background. I looked around just as my son screamed "Daaaaaad!!"...

I'd forgotten I'd some personal videos on the phone and the little shìt was after broadcasting his parents sex life for the whole room to hear, not to mention I've probably scarred him for life!

We got out of there fairly fast!

No recession in that house

mauzo · 13-09-2012 02:58AM

Me and my then boyfriend were in my house, he was leaving and I was going to walk him to the bus stop.

Went in to tell my dad Id be back in a little while, opened the door...hes sitting with his back to me on his laptop....I looked at the screen and slowly backed out the door

He stands up all flustered and I tell him ill be back soon, ran out the front door!

Next morning at the kitchen table I said to my mum, jesus wait til I tell you what I caught dad at last night! I walked in to tell him I was going to the bus stop and he was watching bloody porn!

She says, yeah well last week he found your dildo when he was opening your window. He came down and asked me what it was, I said I dont know I dont bloody have one!!!! He found it behind your curtain on the windowsill.

Mortified isnt the word!

Ehrmantraut · 13-09-2012 03:54AM

I've had more than my fair share. I was visiting a young relative in hospital one day and I was in and out of the place at least three times, once to buy some food and two trips to the toilet for urination purposes. Anyway, I later realised that I'd been walking around the corridors of the children's ward with my fly conspicuously undone.

A childhood one involved a quarrel between my parents after one of them finally confirmed Santa's non-existence. One of them screams "Why don't you tell him where babies come from?" I decide to interject - piping up with tremendous pride "I already know! From women's bums!" Of course, I was too young to realise my mistake but I now know why the fighting was replaced by silence.

My driving instructor saying "I like you". (Apparently he meant to say "I like your steering".)

My granny shítting on my shoe.

Awkward situations

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