Asking too much, where do you draw the line with friends?

08-09-2012 11:43AM #1

Recently, I had a friend ask me could he spend a few hours in my apt. Now he also said his sister was with him and just needed it for a while.

The problem I had is that he has in the past suggested using my apartment for bringing a girl over, to do whatever, and I am ****ed if I'd ever allow that for that reason. So in the end I refused the request just saying I needed space. It's not the first time someone has asked me this. Another friend asked me before and I point blank refused him, even though he is a good friend. I just think they've a f*cking cheek and would they not just book a hotel?

Personally I am not quick to request help off people, maybe too much so on some occasions and I just feel there's a certain line, or knowing of what is acceptable and what's not.

I know most people have at some stage gone through this, for whatever request made by their friend. Just wondering, where do you draw the line and what sometimes písses you off?

4zn76tysfajdxp · 08-09-2012 11:45AM

Jay D wrote: »

Recently, I had a friend ask me could he spend a few hours in my apt. Now he also said his sister was with him and just needed it for a while.

The problem I had is that he has in the past suggested using my apartment for bringing a girl over, to do whatever

So he's planning to ride his sister?

Ficheall · 08-09-2012 11:46AM

How hot is his sister?

Fr_Dougal · 08-09-2012 11:46AM

____________________________

^^^^^
There

Nodin · 08-09-2012 11:47AM

Jay D wrote: »

.............
The problem I had is that he has in the past suggested using my apartment for bringing a girl over, to do whatever, and I am ****ed if I'd ever allow that for that reason. So in the end I refused the request just saying I needed space. It's not the first time someone has asked me this. Another friend asked me before and I point blank refused him, even though he is a good friend......

Why?

nanook · 08-09-2012 11:48AM

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

____________________________

^^^^^
There

08-09-2012 11:49AM

Nodin wrote: »

Why?

Clearly I am doubting the fact she is a sister.

dutopia · 08-09-2012 11:50AM

Their behaviour seems way out of line. If I were you, I'd confront the issue directly and tell your friends you're not comfortable with your place being used in this way. Explain that they would be welcome in an emergency or something, but not as a place to crash whenever they feel like it.

I remember a friend of mine used to crash at my apartment usually one night a week. I didn't mind but after a few weeks my wife wasn't happy about it, so I explained it straight to him. He didn't take offence and understood the situation. Sometimes you just have to tell your friend you're not happy about something, if they take it the wrong way, maybe you weren't as good friends as you realised in the first place.

TheBody · 08-09-2012 11:52AM

So when are you gonna post pics of the sister op?

El Guapo! · 08-09-2012 11:56AM

Say no.
Unless they bring one for you too.

08-09-2012 11:57AM

Is she a sister in the regular sense or in the black sense, i.e. sista?

El Guapo! · 08-09-2012 11:58AM

boneyarsebogman wrote: »

Is she a sister in the regular sense or in the black sense, i.e. sista?

Oh no you di'int!!

BrokenArrows · 08-09-2012 12:07PM

Say yes.

Get the "sister" into the apartment first and then close the door on your friend. haha.

Nodin · 08-09-2012 12:15PM

Jay D wrote: »

Clearly I am doubting the fact she is a sister.

No, why don't you let them have a shag in your place?

Real Life · 08-09-2012 12:20PM

ive used friends houses for such things and ive allowed them use mine. i dont see the problem, maybe it changes as you get older though

mauzo · 08-09-2012 12:26PM

If my friend needed somewhere to shag her boyfriend, I think I'd let them use my apartment.

Someone may as well have sex in it

El Guapo! · 08-09-2012 12:28PM

mauzo wrote: »

If my friend needed somewhere to shag her boyfriend, I think I'd let them use my apartment.

Someone may as well have sex in it

Just join in.

09-09-2012 12:21PM

it's interesting to see other people's views on it. To be honest I'm not going to start having it. Like f*ck that. I'm paying a small fortune every month so that I do actually have my own space and I'm just not willing to let it be used for that by other people. Fair enough if on a night out or something but I'm f*cked if I'm vacating my place for a few hours when I'm unbelievably busy with life's goings on as it is. The home is for tuning out, I don't see me as being unreasonable at all.

miamee · 09-09-2012 12:29PM

Jay D wrote: »

it's interesting to see other people's views on it. To be honest I'm not going to start having it. Like f*ck that. I'm paying a small fortune every month so that I do actually have my own space and I'm just not willing to let it be used for that by other people. Fair enough if on a night out or something but I'm f*cked if I'm vacating my place for a few hours when I'm unbelievably busy with life's goings on as it is. The home is for tuning out, I don't see me as being unreasonable at all.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Presumably this friend of yours still lives at home and so does his 'sister', hence no private space but there are plenty of ways round that if you're determined enough. He doesn't seem like someone who might think to change the bedclothes for ypu after either!

(Bit of an assumption on my part but that's one of the first things I'd be thinking of)

wyndham · 09-09-2012 12:29PM

1. Set up hidden cameras.

2. Allow friends to use apartment for kinkiness.

3. Profit

Rigol · 09-09-2012 02:12PM

I suppose if they're desperate and really need a place at that moment it would be nice of you to do so..................in exchange for a quick favor

.

mark_jmc · 09-09-2012 02:16PM

Dean09 wrote: »

Oh no you di'int!!

somebody had to axe the question

10-09-2012 11:30PM

miamee wrote: »

Jay D wrote: »

it's interesting to see other people's views on it. To be honest I'm not going to start having it. Like f*ck that. I'm paying a small fortune every month so that I do actually have my own space and I'm just not willing to let it be used for that by other people. Fair enough if on a night out or something but I'm f*cked if I'm vacating my place for a few hours when I'm unbelievably busy with life's goings on as it is. The home is for tuning out, I don't see me as being unreasonable at all.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Presumably this friend of yours still lives at home and so does his 'sister', hence no private space but there are plenty of ways round that if you're determined enough. He doesn't seem like someone who might think to change the bedclothes for ypu after either!
(Bit of an assumption on my part but that's one of the first things I'd be thinking of)

This is the thing I suppose even more, they dont live at home with their parents. Ffs we're well past that. (ffs an expression now the more I think of the situation and not your obvious assumption). They really should know better.

oppenheimer1 · 10-09-2012 11:36PM

Jay D wrote: »

This is the thing I suppose even more, they dont live at home with their parents. Ffs we're well past that. (ffs an expression now the more I think of the situation and not your obvious assumption). They really should know better.

If they have their own place, why would they need yours? Is it an affair of some sorts?

Hardonraging · 10-09-2012 11:43PM

Stop cock blocking dude ... nobody likes that **** !! .. just get in on the action, she's prob game for it .. and if not, ask them to leave..

girlonfire · 10-09-2012 11:50PM

I wouldn't dream of asking that of a friend. Why do they need your place anyway if they don't live at home?

eth0 · 10-09-2012 11:54PM

Tell them they can use the shed instead

Lapin · 10-09-2012 11:59PM

Jay D wrote: »

Clearly I am doubting the fact she is a sister.

He can't be that close a friend to you if you don't know what his sister looks like.

Tell him to jump.

hatrickpatrick · 11-09-2012 12:21AM

I was staying in a hotel in Thailand in Koh Tau, which has the dodgiest electricity supply ever. Long story short, the Air Con would reset every 10 minutes or so, because when the power goes out for a second, the machine resets itself back to its default temperature, which was a lot hotter than we wanted it. Room would literally boil if you didn't keep watching the monitor.

So one night a friend of mine brings a girl back, I'm sharing a room with him and I'm thinking "right, got to get to sleep as quickly as possible so I don't have to listen to this..."

Just as I'm about to bury myself in my duvet he comes over to me, throw me the aircon remote and goes "Here Paddy would you mind staying awake and making sure the aircon stays on for the next while?"
I start saying "I f*cking WOULD mind, you little..." and he interrupts and says "Ah c'mon Paddy wouldja just be sound about it like", short argument later and I'm lying there listening to the pair of them going at it and occasionally hitting the "cold" button on the remote. I won't go into any graphic detail about what I heard in case either of them use Boards but suffice it to say it was the most disturbing half hour of my entire life, ever. And I've sat through the entire Human Centipede, I know what disturbing means. :eek:

I'd call that an ultimate example of taking one for the team

Cee-Jay-Cee · 11-09-2012 12:28AM

If it wasn't his sister maybe it was a nun?

So you turned down a sister of God in her hour of need, your surely going to hell now. Shame on you!

OneArt · 11-09-2012 12:28AM

I find that really weird asking if they can have sex in your house. Actually it seems really f*cking rude. What the hell? Go get your own gaff.

Asking too much, where do you draw the line with friends?

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