How long in the Doghouse & what were you in for

Abi · 21-08-2012 11:22PM

Sala wrote: »

The "silent treatment" is not an intentional punishment or immature reaction. We are having a pointless argument that neither of us will win, I am sick of talking about it, I want to forget about it, not talk to you for a while not to punish you but because I am still pissed off and not in good form, leave me in peace to calm down and gather my thoughts... even if you try to have a constructive conversation, after arguing I know I am cranky and need to step back, not for my sake, for his. Taking the time to let yourself cool down emotionally and tackle any real issues later is not immature.

That is understandable if you're talking about going out for a walk to calm down. Actually making the decision to not speak to your partner is counter-productive and childish thing to do. Acting like grown ups, hearing each other out and agree somewhere there between is how you deal with problems.

holystungun9 · 21-08-2012 11:23PM

Sala wrote: »

The "silent treatment" is not an intentional punishment or immature reaction. We are having a pointless argument that neither of us will win, I am sick of talking about it, I want to forget about it, not talk to you for a while not to punish you but because I am still pissed off and not in good form, leave me in peace to calm down and gather my thoughts... even if you try to have a constructive conversation, after arguing I know I am cranky and need to step back, not for my sake, for his. Taking the time to let yourself cool down emotionally and tackle any real issues later is not immature.

A guy would say "I just don't want to talk to you right now". (no need for a paragraph to explain the thought process either).:D

Sala · 21-08-2012 11:33PM

holystungun9 wrote: »

A guy would say "I just don't want to talk to you right now". (no need for a paragraph to explain the thought process either).:D

Yes and if she says it he'll come onto boards and say he's getting the silent treatment!!

Rabidlamb · 22-08-2012 08:18AM

Just a quick follow up to say true to form she backed down last night & normal channels are all open again.
I had to install a replacement oven that's been sitting there for 2 months to make the breakthrough but maybe that was her game all along.
Clever girl.

BrensBenz · 22-08-2012 08:36AM

I remember reading somewhere (don't have details and can't add links) that the silent treatment is almost exclusively a female tactic because they think that constantly yabbering at you is their way of including you in their world. In their eyes, excluding you from that world is a horrific punishment! Nobody told them that their silence is actually being enjoyed by us - it gives us a chance to ponder really important stuff, like......well.......stuff.
PS: If ever asked "are you looking forward to this business trip?", don't say "Yes". Not allowed! A real no no! The doghouse will await your return and the food dish will be empty.

Gloomtastic! · 22-08-2012 08:51AM

holystungun9 wrote: »

It was that goddamn 'I had the time of my life' song from that dancey movie. It's always that one.

They have that song playing on a constant loop in hell I believe.

I've been in the doghouse more times than I care to remember, likewise with the reasons why I was there.

Except one exceptionally long period which was brought about by my claiming that a women we both knew was a better mother than her. Hell hath no fury......

rgmmg · 22-08-2012 09:06AM

I used to go out with an ultra competitive bird. She had to beat me at everything and invariably I couldn't care less.

One day on a train we were playing travel scrabble (exciting stuff). I had 2 tiles left and she was winning. I looked at the board for ages and couldn't go. "Give up," she said "you can't go, just give up!!" she laughed. That laughter turned to a begrudging "Well done" 10 mins later wheh I spotted I could make the word "elf", nailing her with a double score for the "f". 30 seconds later I looked at her and she just went absolutely ballistic on something completely unrelated that happened a month before, followed by hours of the silent treatment. Sweet :pac:

hoodwinked · 22-08-2012 09:19AM

with myself and my husband there is no doghouse,

if he does something wrong or that annoys me, i will tell him what it is and he just doesn't do it again, (there is no point getting upset over something thats already done) as for needing things done around the house, i come from a family of mostly females, we learned how to do diy, i do it myself if i want it done,

he does the same, he will just tell me what im doing to annoy him and i stop, simples,

no wasting needless hours not talking to one another.

Dravokivich · 22-08-2012 11:00AM

Cienciano wrote: »

Every girl in the world thinks their boyfriend/husband/partner "doesn't listen". We do listen, it's just not important.

Mine knows I don't for the most part, I surprise her ever now and then though.

Pumpkinseeds · 22-08-2012 11:33AM

Sometimes its just the kindest thing to say nothing for a while. We rarely have arguments but when we do I can be an absolute bitch from hell and I know when I'm about to say something hurtful. At that point I just prefer to go into another room on my own to calm down for a while. Its not being childish to want to spare the person you love from a hurtful remark that you can't take back.

22-08-2012 11:48AM

I'm currently in the doghouse with my ex boyfriend (yes, EX, and he still thinks he can do it) who I'm friends with because I said I've not been feeling happy lately.

Apparently that's an insult to his company or some crap like that...

Needless to say, I'm in no hurry to get back in the good books.

Jimoslimos · 22-08-2012 12:04PM

Rabidlamb wrote: »

My offence was ignoring the new Supernanny discipline procedures as we'd discussed for the kids.

If you're having discipline problems with the children probably best to skip the Supernanny treatment. The Dog Whisperer, César Millán is what you need.

Disobedient children sorted plus your reluctance to sleep outdoors in the kennel addressed.

Two birds, one stone.

ash23 · 22-08-2012 12:07PM

I don't do nagging or silent treatment. Just all out blazing rows

Although I do remember my ex being very annoyed at me when he caught me looking at digital cameras a few years ago. He flipped out because I had a perfectly fine camera which took film and didn't need an expensive digital camera.
There I sat in the spare room in our house which was filled with his dj equipment, his thousands of records, his brand new imac and his brand new flat screen tv and calmly told him that I would spend the money from my full time job on candyfloss if I so f*cking wished.
It was the one and only time I gave the silent treatment because I was just so unbelievably angry with him that if I spoke I'd say something I would regret.
He came home the next day with a digital camera for me.
Score!

3ndahalfof6 · 22-08-2012 12:41PM

true-or-false wrote: »

I'm currently in the doghouse with my ex boyfriend (yes, EX, and he still thinks he can do it) who I'm friends with because I said I've not been feeling happy lately.

Apparently that's an insult to his company or some crap like that...

Needless to say, I'm in no hurry to get back in the good books.

you can see where he is coming from, kinda

old hippy · 22-08-2012 12:46PM

usually for arriving home after a "quick one in the local"... or for stealing the duvet... she's relatively easy going, mind. There's somethings I've said and done over the years that I'm not proud of but she's always listened. And then sulked.

I don't deserve her.

Colmustard · 22-08-2012 12:51PM

When I do get back into a relationship I am going to build the best doghouse in Ireland.

PucaMama · 22-08-2012 01:04PM

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Just a quick follow up to say true to form she backed down last night & normal channels are all open again.
I had to install a replacement oven that's been sitting there for 2 months to make the breakthrough but maybe that was her game all along.
Clever girl.

why was it sitting there for two months?

PhlegmyMoses · 22-08-2012 01:10PM

PucaMama wrote: »

why was it sitting there for two months?

Because she never got round to installing it?

PucaMama · 22-08-2012 01:15PM

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

Because she never got round to installing it?

wasnt he asked to do it? if not he wouldnt have done it. maybe a reason for the "nagging".

Naos · 22-08-2012 01:44PM

ash23 wrote: »

I don't do nagging or silent treatment. Just all out blazing rows

Although I do remember my ex being very annoyed at me when he caught me looking at digital cameras a few years ago. He flipped out because I had a perfectly fine camera which took film and didn't need an expensive digital camera.
There I sat in the spare room in our house which was filled with his dj equipment, his thousands of records, his brand new imac and his brand new flat screen tv and calmly told him that I would spend the money from my full time job on candyfloss if I so f*cking wished.
It was the one and only time I gave the silent treatment because I was just so unbelievably angry with him that if I spoke I'd say something I would regret.
He came home the next day with a digital camera for me.
Score!

He probably wanted to buy it for you all along and said you didn't need one as a reason for you not to buy, thus giving him the chance to surprise you.

Then you went and gave him the silent treatment, poor chap.

My gf is pretty funny with it. The other day we were in Eddie Rockets having a grand aul chat. Waitress comes up takes our order, my gf stops talking to me, just giving yes/no answers.

20 mins later as we're leaving it emerges that the waitress and I were apparently flirting. (She said 'Do you want a tour of the menu', I chuckled said "no it's fine thanks" and ordered my food) Had to explain that I'm nice to everyone and I won't accept this just because I'm being nice to someone. She calmed down after a bit and gave her apologies.

Womenfolk.

ash23 · 22-08-2012 02:01PM

Naos wrote: »

He probably wanted to buy it for you all along and said you didn't need one as a reason for you not to buy, thus giving him the chance to surprise you.

Then you went and gave him the silent treatment, poor chap.

Oh no, believe you me, that was not the case!!!

4zn76tysfajdxp · 22-08-2012 03:26PM

Pighead wrote: »

Ladies, if Pighead says he's going to fix it he will. There's absolutely no need to remind him every six months about it.

Your mask is slipping, Pighead. :eek:

Rabidlamb · 22-08-2012 03:51PM

PucaMama wrote: »

why was it sitting there for two months?

Were you my wife you'd be waiting another 2 months after that comment.

Millicent · 22-08-2012 04:07PM

Naos wrote: »

My gf is pretty funny with it. The other day we were in Eddie Rockets having a grand aul chat. Waitress comes up takes our order, my gf stops talking to me, just giving yes/no answers.

20 mins later as we're leaving it emerges that the waitress and I were apparently flirting. (She said 'Do you want a tour of the menu', I chuckled said "no it's fine thanks" and ordered my food) Had to explain that I'm nice to everyone and I won't accept this just because I'm being nice to someone. She calmed down after a bit and gave her apologies.

I would have told her to cop on to herself. Would she like you to wear blinkers so you never have to see any other girls if, in the worst case scenario, you have to interact with them?

22-08-2012 04:13PM

Used to get the silent treatment or grumpy "no i'm FINE" from an ex. Fcuking wound me up no end. I can't stand it. Say you need space and we'll discuss it later, or discuss it now, but don't fcuking mess around. Especially when it's over a complete misunderstanding or nothing at all.
:mad:

Colmustard · 22-08-2012 04:22PM

I seldom call people for a chat, I use the phone as a functionary device just business or enquiries so calls tend to be curt and to the point. I don't particularly know why I am like that, but it was never a problem to me. But anytime I was in a relationship my phone manner has always being misinterpreted as "have I done something wrong" or "how come you never call".

Texting is actually a god send to me.

Naos · 22-08-2012 04:43PM

Millicent wrote: »

I would have told her to cop on to herself. Would she like you to wear blinkers so you never have to see any other girls if, in the worst case scenario, you have to interact with them?

Totally agree with you - she did apologise and say she was acting silly, not like she maintains to this day that was she correct in any way.

22-08-2012 05:20PM

bluewolf wrote: »

Used to get the silent treatment or grumpy "no i'm FINE" from an ex. Fcuking wound me up no end. I can't stand it. Say you need space and we'll discuss it later, or discuss it now, but don't fcuking mess around. Especially when it's over a complete misunderstanding or nothing at all.
:mad:

Used to get this from my ex too, sometimes with added hysterical shouting "Stop going on about it! You're always doing this!".... Doing what? "THIS!", at which point either a full scale yelling match is in the making, or I'd just give out sh*t to him, go out, have a fag, come back and apologise, and wait for the silent treatment to wear off. Couple of hours, normally.

Kids? Why would I want kids? Had one for long enough!

Borat_Sagdiyev · 22-08-2012 05:27PM

Was texting the missus a few years back - I was in college at the time and she was at her home in limerick. Weather was stunning, totally unexpected for that time of the year.

She says something like "what a gorgeous day" in her text.

My reply was "Yeah it's fantastic, I would love to head home for a few months of weather like this!"

I'm from Kerry. Texts stopped. I rang her later on that evening and found that she was thick with me. Why ?

"Because I would rather go home than spend time with her"

Jesus h Christ.

Colmustard · 22-08-2012 07:23PM

I like this thread its a look into all your domestic and relationship blisses.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus but the doghouse is all uranus,

How long in the Doghouse & what were you in for

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