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How much to give at a wedding

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Comments

  • #92
    Red21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 594 ✭✭✭Red21


    Brayden Gorgeous Balcony wrote: »
    No.
    Wedding singers?


  • #93
    Jame Gumb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 802 ✭✭✭Jame Gumb


    Confab wrote: »
    Brayden Gorgeous Balcony wrote: »
    To be honest I agree with your mother, if/when my sisters get married they would certainly be getting at least 500 and more than likely more.

    €500 is near enough to half a month's net salary for me. I cannot afford to spend it on a present for someone. They chose to spend €25000 on a wedding, not me.

    Nobody said that you should. Just give whatever you feel comfortable with.

    But for people that aren't fussed about what they give or how much they give, a gift of €150 - €200 is appropriate from a couple. For a sibling, I'd suggest something more is appropriate, again subject to the donor's means.


  • #94
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,208 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    OP, if you really hate them donate money to charity for them.


  • #95
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    I think people should give whatever they feel they can afford and are happy to give, and the couple should be grateful to receive whatever. I would think that for most people a suitable amount would be around €75 per individual, less if only attending the afters, more for immediate family.

    I no longer attend weddings with a "gifts in envelopes only" note, whether they be close friends/family or simply aquaintances. I would be much happier to attend the wedding of a couple that expected guests join them for a dinner celebration and pay for their own meals at a restaurant. I would totally understand that.

    The sense of entitlement of some couples and the lack of courtesy with which they treat their guests is sickening. (can work both ways of course!)


  • #96
    Jame Gumb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 802 ✭✭✭Jame Gumb


    I think that putting it in writing (i.e. "cash only") is the height of bad taste.

    We were silent on it.

    Some people did ask our mothers what we wanted and they just said "well they have pretty much everything".

    95% of people gave us cash.

    One close family friend called me and said that as a rule, he doesn't give cash and asked if there was anything we needed so I suggested something to him.

    Once a sense of entitlement creeps in or people are relying on the cash to pay or the wedding, the wheels are coming off.


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  • #97
    Kirby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,084 ✭✭✭✭Kirby


    The culture of inviting somebody to a party and then expecting them to pay for it is utterly ridiculous. It's your day, not theirs. People should want to give you gifts. You shouldn't be demanding it or guilting them into it.

    If you can only afford it by assuming everyone will give you money..........then you can't actually afford it and need to scale it back.

    Close personal friends yes...... old work acquaintances from 5 years ago no.


  • #98
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,773 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Red21 wrote: »
    Wedding singers?

    What difference does it make what jobs people do? My family is not involved in any "business" everyone just works in normal jobs.


  • #99
    BorneTobyWilde
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,565 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    Usually just give the bridesmaid one


  • #100
    Red21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 594 ✭✭✭Red21


    Jame Gumb wrote: »

    Once a sense of entitlement creeps in or people are relying on the cash to pay or the wedding, the wheels are coming off.
    I'm afraid the wheels are well and truly off at this stage and have been for over 10 years now. Your average couple thinks nothing of putting up 25 grand for their wedding, they wouldn't dare spend that kinda money on a single day if they tought they'd be paying back for it over the next 15 years.


  • #101
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,208 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    Jame Gumb wrote: »
    I think that putting it in writing (i.e. "cash only") is the height of bad taste.

    We were silent on it.

    Some people did ask our mothers what we wanted and they just said "well they have pretty much everything".

    95% of people gave us cash.

    One close family friend called me and said that as a rule, he doesn't give cash and asked if there was anything we needed so I suggested something to him.

    Once a sense of entitlement creeps in or people are relying on the cash to pay or the wedding, the wheels are coming off.
    I sort of asked for cash. We put up a list of stuff on a website that people could buy on our honeymoon (segway tours, breakfast in bed, night in a champagne bar etc) with links to a paypal account.
    Thing is about presents, you just get shíte. I was living with my wife in an apartment for 6 years. I don't have room for a food warmer, a set of newbridge silver spagetti untensils, 3 ornamental photo frame boxes, and ice cream maker etc. They were 4 presents I can think of that people got for us because they don't believe in giving money, photo frames were the same but from different people. We don't have the room for crap like that which we'll never use.
    Back in the old days people moved in together after the wedding, so presents were great. In this day and age most people have been living together for years.


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  • #102
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Id give 75 euro for someone I didn't really know, 100 to 150 euro (maybe) for a very close friend. I gave around 400 euro before for a sibling, but I dont know if I'd afford that as easily now.

    I know people disagree, but I think you should as a minimum cover the cost of your meal. I also think weddings are a complete farce - spending 15-25k on one bloody day. But then again alot of things in life are a farce.

    And I think that wedding I went to 2 years ago, with the cheapest ass band in history which were completely out of tune and just god awful (a CD player would have been 10 times better) have ruined the whole concept of weddings forever for me.


  • #103
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Cienciano wrote: »
    I sort of asked for cash. We put up a list of stuff on a website that people could buy on our honeymoon (segway tours, breakfast in bed, night in a champagne bar etc) with links to a paypal account.
    Thing is about presents, you just get shíte. I was living with my wife in an apartment for 6 years. I don't have room for a food warmer, a set of newbridge silver spagetti untensils, 3 ornamental photo frame boxes, and ice cream maker etc. They were 4 presents I can think of that people got for us because they don't believe in giving money, photo frames were the same but from different people. We don't have the room for crap like that which we'll never use.
    Back in the old days people moved in together after the wedding, so presents were great. In this day and age most people have been living together for years.

    I wouldn't have the neck for that.


  • #104
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    rainbowtrout wrote: »

    Have a BBQ out the back is more likely to be less stressful on bride and groom and guests who are more likely to remember it.

    People often forget the logistics of these functions.
    • Toileting would be an issue. ... I don't think portaloos would be the thing!
    • What about Parking?
    • Bar and Drink.... You would have to provide all drink for free or else get a licence...
    The reality is once you take out the calculator, it's often much cheaper and convenient to have it in a hotel.


  • #105
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    I always found the concept of having it abroad a bit self-entitled also. It might work for someone people, but it's a bit much to ask someone to give up a week of their annual leave, pay for flights, the expense of the wedding, etc all so the bride and groom can save a few K.


  • #106
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    Red21 wrote: »
    Your average couple thinks nothing of putting up 25 grand for their wedding

    very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.


  • #107
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Muckit wrote: »
    very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

    I'd say you'd get it cheaper than that now with hotels doing deals and all. I dont mean some $hit hole off a motorway either.


  • #108
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,208 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    Motorist wrote: »
    I wouldn't have the neck for that.

    For a wedding list? Enjoy your 50 toasters that you're going to get at your wedding!


  • #109
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Muckit wrote: »
    very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

    120 guests is modest?! :eek:


  • #110
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    Motorist wrote: »
    I'd say you'd get it cheaper than that now with hotels doing deals and all. I dont mean some $hit hole off a motorway either.

    I thought that too until I started organising my own :rolleyes:


  • #111
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    I give them the pleasure of my presence, they can fúck right off if they think they'll get anything else.


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  • #112
    Jame Gumb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 802 ✭✭✭Jame Gumb


    Cienciano wrote: »
    Motorist wrote: »
    I wouldn't have the neck for that.

    For a wedding list? Enjoy your 50 toasters that you're going to get at your wedding!

    We'd 180 guests at our wedding and no wedding list. Nobody asked us what we wanted other than one person who called me. A few people called our mothers and they just said "well they have pretty much everything".

    We got less than 10 non cash gifts.


  • #113
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    Muckit wrote: »
    very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

    Perhaps, but it's entirely the couple's choice to spend that and they have no business expecting guests to cover their costs.

    My close friend had 150 guests in a lovely hotel and kept it under €10,000. It can be done.


  • #114
    Ned_led16
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭Ned_led16


    I was asked for money or art as a student.. lol ..

    The brides folks are supposed to pay for it arent they?? since when did folks decide in this country that you had to give 100 euro.... when did that happen ... what year was it... i must have been to young to realise. next we will be asking the kids for 500 euro each
    Id like to see a free bar at a wedding tbh....


    Lets remember who is the main beneficary for all this laughable nonsense..... THE HOTELS!!!! CUT THEM OUT...... and if you get married pay for it yourself you cheap f****


  • #115
    Melanoma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 310 ✭✭Melanoma


    summerskin wrote: »
    Went to a wedding this week, me, wife and two kids, present was €100 from us. Wedding was English friends getting married over here so it was seen as more than enough as usually in England we give £50 per family.

    Don't get all this paying for your meal nonsense. If someone invites you it's up to them to pay! I don't invite someone for dinner and ask them to pay!

    Thankfully things are different in England, a wedding is a fun day, not something to bankrupt the couple and even the guests!

    Very sensible, the English have a great sense of fairness sometimes.


  • #116
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    Miss Lockhart wrote: »

    My close friend had 150 guests in a lovely hotel and kept it under €10,000. It can be done.

    rubbish


  • #117
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    Muckit wrote: »
    rubbish

    Believe whatever you want to believe and spend whatever you want to spend. Makes no odds to me.


  • #118
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Should just do what Sean Quinn's daughter did - charge a 200k wedding to the family business, and then have the neck later on to try and claim the VAT back by claiming the wedding is a "marketing event" for the hotel. Of course neck like that could only be one of the Quinns and a solicitor, Stephen Kelly, she was marrying.


  • #119
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,208 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    Lots of ways of making it cheaper. Get married outside Ireland is one way :pac:


  • #120
    marshbaboon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭marshbaboon


    My family doesn't do money in cards or expensive presents.

    Getting a wedding invitation is bad enough already, it's like getting a bill.

    We tend to do meaningful things to show we actually care about eachother, rather than throwing money around.


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  • #121
    Red21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 594 ✭✭✭Red21


    Ned_led16 wrote: »
    The brides folks are supposed to pay for it arent they??
    Id like to see a free bar at a wedding tbh....
    Exactly, you're also entitled to a farm of land, be sure not to sign anything til it's handed over.


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