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I just woke up and their is a BBW bird in my bed

  • 18-08-2012 08:22AM
    #1
    Jimmy Garlic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Jimmy Garlic


    What the **** will I do?. She is still asleep at the moment. I vaguely remember talking to her but I don't think we had sexual intercourse as I woke up with my jeans still on. This isn't a situation that I am used to and I seriously need advice on what to do next. I think I was just being friendly and offered her a place to kip for the night. As she is under the duvet I am not sure if she has cloths still on, I only see a pair of shoes on the floor. Should I leave her be and sleep? make her a cup of tea or something maybe?.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    actuallylike
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 1,501 ✭✭✭actuallylike


    Thinly veiled I hooked up last night thread.

    Sorry, fatly veiled.


  • #3
    Ghandee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    Man up sir.

    She was good enough last night, she is good enough this morning!


    Have you tried talking to her yet (sober)? She could be one of the nicest girls you ever pulled!

    Beauty, skin deep blah blah blah!



  • #4
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    I only see a pair of shoes on the floor

    She got hungry in the night and ate them?


  • #5
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    impregnate her, go forth and multiply.


  • #6
    Dangerous Man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    Nah - you didn't come here for advice...


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  • #7
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    Dangerous Man wrote: »
    Nah - you didn't come here for advice...

    he never came.


  • #8
    Kirby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,084 ✭✭✭✭Kirby


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmgcjRu1s-8


  • #9
    BarackPyjama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 974 ✭✭✭BarackPyjama


    Bring her a breakfast roll. She'll like that.


  • #10
    mauzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    No hope now, she won't have sex in the morning....unless you can turn the sun off.


  • #11
    aphex™
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,337 ✭✭✭aphex™


    Now is the time to give her a list of your stds.


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  • #12
    Fratton Fred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,566 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    Look, all your mates know you took her home. They will take the piss regardless of whether or not you did the bold thing.

    You may as well shag her now.


  • #13
    dermiek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 333 ✭✭dermiek


    Good thinking OP.
    Go out, get blind drunk, pick up a fat bird, (if she's very fat, you were probably the first guy to talk to her or show an interest in her in ages so that wasn't hard), then wake up, panic and tell the whole boards community.

    Every time you post from now on we'll all think "oh, its Jimmy garlic - the fecking stud"


    :pac: :D:D


  • #14
    irelandspurs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,085 ✭✭✭irelandspurs


    Kill her


  • #15
    Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,554 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar


    I initially thought the title said BMW bird and thought the OP had scored a car showroom model, was pretty impressed


    halfway through my coffee now and read the title again. gg OP.


  • #16
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    dermiek wrote: »
    Good thinking OP.
    Go out, get blind drunk, pick up a fat bird, (if she's very fat, you were probably the first guy to talk to her or show an interest in her in ages so that wasn't hard), then wake up, panic and tell the whole boards community.

    Every time you post from now on we'll all think "oh, its Jimmy garlic - the fecking stud"


    :pac: :D:D

    I wont.


  • #17
    Pa Dee
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 279 ✭✭Pa Dee


    Hop up on her there and ride her around the room. Fat cows love the ride !


  • #18
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    pardon me.....what is BBW?


  • #19
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,346 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Armaghmagic wrote: »
    pardon me.....what is BBW?

    Its what fat chicks call themselves


  • #20
    Pa Dee
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 279 ✭✭Pa Dee


    Armaghmagic wrote: »
    pardon me.....what is BBW?
    Biggest Bird in World !


  • #21
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    Armaghmagic wrote: »
    pardon me.....what is BBW?
    Fat woman. Not just overweight or anything. Usually really fat.
    Started as a porn thing. After all, fat women weren't happy posing naked unless they're called a big beautiful woman.


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  • #22
    BarackPyjama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 974 ✭✭✭BarackPyjama


    Big Beautiful Woman... also known as an oxymoron.


  • #23
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,226 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    How'd ya know you didn't ride her just because your still wearing your jeans? You could have in your drunken ways put back on your jeans knowing full well she's a munter and that you were more than likely not going to remember doing it last night anyway.

    A drunk mind is a thoughtful one at times. Unless you pull a BBW of course :/


  • #24
    Dockington
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭Dockington


    Go for it dude nd njoy. Nothn wrong with a bit of chubby chasing :-).


  • #25
    ringadingding
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    Wake her gently by fingering her, but remember... Gently


  • #26
    Dockington
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭Dockington


    Oh and share all the gory details after the act =-O


  • #27
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,429 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Pics?


  • #28
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    if you had a 2x4 strapped to your ass when you woke, she is one happy bunny,

    never ever attempt without the 2x4


  • #29
    Festy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭Festy


    Fcuk her jim,every hole is a goal son ;)


  • #30
    mauzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    Dockington wrote: »
    Go for it dude nd njoy. Nothn wrong with a bit of chubby chasing :-).

    Wouldn't say there's much chasing going on in fairness....


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  • #31
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    thanks for explaining, I should have known what it meant. I once ended up with a girl who's nickname was Shamoo!

    Her weight in stone was the same as her age in years.....and she was no child!


This discussion has been closed.
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