Boardsies - I need your help!

brandon_flowers · 17-08-2012 03:57PM

Pics of your missus or..... no help & GTFO

Millicent · 17-08-2012 03:58PM

Half a tennis ball stuck to your back so you can't lie on it. You don't snore as much on your side. Tell your missus that a hearty elbow to the ribs tends to have the same effect.

Saruman · 17-08-2012 03:58PM

I'm the same and our 8th anniversary is next week

Generally a push will stop me but if I have been drinking, that can be impossible.

You could try some of those anti snoring devices like the nose clip or a mouth guard that keeps your airway open.

I have tested the theory of a mouthguard. It keeps your mouth slightly open. I can't make myself snore with my mouth partially open but I can if it's closed.

Millicent · 17-08-2012 04:01PM

OP, do you smoke or have any weight on you? Not to be a killjoy but sorting out either/both of those should have a massive effect on how loudly you snore.

Jimoslimos · 17-08-2012 04:11PM

[-0-] wrote: »

I just bought her some flowers and a teddy to thank her for being so patient with me.

Wow! Luckiest wife ever....

Him: Hey darling, you know that snoring problem I've been having lately...?
Her: *snarls* Do I fcuk?
Him: Well instead of looking at ways I can curb it, e.g cut down on my drinking, lose some weight, maybe see a doctor.....I've got a present for you....
Her: Oh wow! Some pretty coloured plants that will no doubt rot in a few days and a cheap stuffed toy from China.....keep on snoring, I'm soooooo lucky to have you
Him: So everything ok now??
Her: Everything's fine

Bipolar Joe · 17-08-2012 04:11PM

kaza2710 wrote: »

You do alot FOR the girl?! She is your wife for crying out loud, your partner in live. Using this stuff as an 'oh look at me arent I so good to the girl' angle is a joke. If I were her I would have you sleeping on the sofa, and not for your snoring, more for your lack of respect.

Seriously? If you were her, would you also not pay for anything? What is he, her partner or carer?

At least the dude is trying. Granted, AH is not the place for advice in anything because everyone here is an emotionally stunted failure.

Gummy Panda · 17-08-2012 04:15PM

Tell her it's not snoring but sleep growls.

ejmaztec · 17-08-2012 04:16PM

Should have gone for the deaf bride option, it's the only way.

[-0-] · 17-08-2012 04:18PM

scotchannie wrote: »

i'm wondering why you aint on yer honeymoon.... if you've only been married for 10 days :eek:

July 7th was not 10 days ago, unless someone used a time traveling device on me today should be August 17th.

Regarding the weight loss suggestions, my bodyfat % is around 19% which isn't TOO bad as it was 25% when I was at my worst. I bought a gym membership about a month ago for both of us and and I'm also paying for a personal trainer for both of us too so we go to the gym regularly now and we're both losing weight. Both of us want to be at around 8% bodyfat.

I have been to the doctor regarding the sleep apnea, and I ordered one of those machines but it won't be here for another 6 weeks. Nice to see lots of you making wrong assumptions about me/us. You're not a cynical or critical bunch at all. :pac:

phasers · 17-08-2012 04:21PM

you have 2 choices.

1. Sleep on the couch

2. Don't drink when you go out

Since you apparently can't do either of these, you're fcuked

Fenian Army · 17-08-2012 04:26PM

Buy her ear plugs as a stop gap till the machine yolk you were on about arrives

Jimoslimos · 17-08-2012 04:28PM

[-0-] wrote: »

Nice to see lots of you making wrong assumptions about me/us. You're not a cynical or critical bunch at all. :pac:

Seriously though, what would AH be like without assumptions and cynicism?!

Doctor DooM · 17-08-2012 04:30PM

I have to ask.

Does your snore sound like the noise a tie fighter makes?

azezil · 17-08-2012 04:33PM

pffft you should so just dutch oven her whenever she complains. That'll shut her up pretty rapid *nods*

[-0-] · 17-08-2012 04:37PM

Doctor DooM wrote: »

I have to ask.

Does your snore sound like the noise a tie fighter makes?

Of course! :pac:

RedXIV · 17-08-2012 04:40PM

Best thing to do here is do a combo of buttering her up. Bring her out for lunch, spend time with her just for the two of you before your friend comes over. In the midst of all this, address the fact you snore. Say you know the drink makes it worse and you are looking forward to a few mornings without hangovers but that time hasn't arrived JUST yet. Apologise profusely for the headache this is causing and as a newly married woman she'll more than likely graciously forgive you and utter the words "it's ok, don't worry about it" leaving you home and dry to obey her to the letter

[-0-] · 17-08-2012 04:41PM

RedXIV wrote: »

Best thing to do here is do a combo of buttering her up. Bring her out for lunch, spend time with her just for the two of you before your friend comes over. In the midst of all this, address the fact you snore. Say you know the drink makes it worse and you are looking forward to a few mornings without hangovers but that time hasn't arrived JUST yet. Apologise profusely for the headache this is causing and as a newly married woman she'll more than likely graciously forgive you and utter the words "it's ok, don't worry about it" leaving you home and dry to obey her to the letter

Finally some useful advice!

westendgirlie · 17-08-2012 04:46PM

Hold on, hold on......

You are drinking, you are sleeping. Are you not doing the sexing?

Hardonraging · 17-08-2012 04:49PM

Jimoslimos wrote: »

Wow! Luckiest wife ever....

Him: Hey darling, you know that snoring problem I've been having lately...?
Her: *snarls* Do I fcuk?
Him: Well instead of looking at ways I can curb it, e.g cut down on my drinking, lose some weight, maybe see a doctor.....I've got a present for you....
Her: Oh wow! Some pretty coloured plants that will no doubt rot in a few days and a cheap stuffed toy from China.....keep on snoring, I'm soooooo lucky to have you
Him: So everything ok now??
Her: Everything's fine

Its not tho !!! it never is !!!

westendgirlie wrote: »

Hold on, hold on......

You are drinking, you are sleeping. Are you not doing the sexing?

Christ he's getting married and you'r offering ure self up to him on a plate ...

Nice ....

Higher · 17-08-2012 04:50PM

[-0-] wrote: »

I got married on July 7th. Since Sunday I've been out every night (with my wife, but she doesn't drink) because we have had friends and family visiting. I snore when I drink which is obviously driving her up the walls. Anyway - I have a friend visiting this weekend and I haven't seen him since 2005. She has a friend visiting on Sunday for a week as well so no doubt the drinking is going to continue for a bit.

I just bought her some flowers and a teddy to thank her for being so patient with me. What else should I do? I'm pretty sure she's sick to the teeth of getting no sleep. Not drinking this weekend isn't really an option - my friend has paid over 1500 to come see me.

Are Irish people simply incapable of going out without getting drunk? If you don't snore normally then you wont snore after one or two drinks.

Gummy Panda · 17-08-2012 04:51PM

Also tell her it could be worse. You could be randomly fingering her in her sleep.

admiralofthefleet · 17-08-2012 04:52PM

im the same, i drive my wife mental with snoring. i had a feed of guinness and whiskey last night and kept the whole street awake with my snoring.

invest in some body armour op because i have bruises all over my back and arms from the digs

4zn76tysfajdxp · 17-08-2012 04:56PM

phasers wrote: »

you have 2 choices.

1. Sleep on the couch

2. Don't drink when you go out

Since you apparently can't do either of these, you're fcuked

Not literally, of course. Can't imagine Snorer O'Snorenassy has what one would describe a thriving sex life. Possible issues with impotence too, what with his weight problem and constant drinking. These disputes often run much deeper and can lead to years of resentment. This is a marriage doomed to failure. OP, you probably should not have gotten married.

Culleeo · 17-08-2012 05:01PM

Kolido wrote: »

Thinly veiled I have many friends tread :rolleyes:

How's about thinly veiled, go fcuk yourself, man, I hate that expression. It's the new blast them with piss, cool story bro etc etc. Please introduce an infraction for every time it's used. That is all.

Jimoslimos · 17-08-2012 05:10PM

Culleeo wrote: »

How's about thinly veiled, go fcuk yourself, man, I hate that expression. It's the new blast them with piss, cool story bro etc etc. Please introduce an infraction for every time it's used. That is all.

^^^
*Thinly veiled back-seat modding*

...and yes, I realise the irony

RATM · 17-08-2012 05:19PM

Hardonraging wrote: »

Give me her number, i'll sort her out for ye .. she'll sleep through any amount of snoring after i'm finished ...

I don't think the use of rohypnol should be part of the solution for the OP's wife

Colmustard · 17-08-2012 05:21PM

I went to Skibberine 2 years ago and there were no B+Bs available the only acc I could get was a hostel in a dorm of about 10 germans,

Anyway went to the pub with my mate and there was a lock in so I staggered back to the hostel at about 3 in the morning.

The next morning suffering while drinking tea in the communal area one of the Germans said, "You snore really loudly you kept us up all night, and I said "yeah I heard that I thought that was one of you's" a chorus of them, in German accents "no it was definitely you" my joke went right over their heads.

Being the considerate type I went out again the next night and staggered back and threw myself on the bunk,, then I woke up with me on my mattress in the communal area freezing, fecken krauts, (not really they were actually a great bit of craic).

Teyla Emmagan · 17-08-2012 05:24PM

Just buy her earplugs and make up for it by not drinking a drop once your friend leaves. You will hardly have to entertain her mate by drinking all week when she's here?

Teyla Emmagan · 17-08-2012 05:25PM

Oh yeah, and I find it HILARIOUS that you bought her a teddy to 'make it up to her'. Can you not at least be honest and admit you bought her a teddy for yourself?

Actually I am thinking the silky teddy kind, not the furry teddy. I do hope you didn't buy a grown woman a stuffed fabric toy though..

Hardonraging · 17-08-2012 05:27PM

RATM wrote: »

I don't think the use of rohypnol should be part of the solution for the OP's wife

Rohypnol ... **** that Brah !!! you want them to remember !!!

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