Men-emasculated by 50 shades ?

longhalloween · 08-08-2012 02:19PM

Why would you feel emasculated by it. Embrace it!

*rushes out to buy duct tape, cable ties and a riding crop*

pimbeche · 08-08-2012 02:21PM

I think some women are ashamed to say they liked it to be honest - and bottom line is I think men are uncomfortable with their OH's fantasising about and enjoying the male character in the book.

Im not saying that about all men or all women so dont be twisting words....

Im also saying that behind the facade of this free and modern society , things are still pretty backwards when it comes to sex.

As I said I think men have a problem with the sucess of this book.

Bad Panda · 08-08-2012 02:22PM

pimbeche wrote: »

Has anyone noticed that bar a handful of women , the bad reviews / outpouring of disaprovals for this book are mainly coming from men ?

Even looking at threads that have been started on boards , the majority of the slating is being done by men....

Just like porn has always been considered a guys thing , it seems that this book is turning into a womens thing.

While I dont love the book , I dont hate it either and Im beginning to think that maybe there is some jealousy coming from the guys that women have something of their own.

Am I the only one who has noticed this or what ?

Also, 'jealousy' etc is always mentioned in such cases to argue the reason why men don't like this stuff...usually by women trying to feel empowered.

Edit: Not all men are as secure as the fellows of AH!

ibarelycare · 08-08-2012 02:24PM

Most of the scathing reviews I hear are from women, me included.

Sea Filly wrote: »

Completely misunderstanding the appeal of S & M there! This book does it no justice either, BTW.

The main problem with the book isn't the S & M aspect (although the author only seems to have very vague understandings of that world), it's the abusive, controlling relationship (not in the sexual way). There are also dozens of other problems with the book and its writing, characters, plot (or lack thereof) but I'd be here all day!

ibarelycare · 08-08-2012 02:24PM

pimbeche wrote: »

Theres been worse !!!!!!

There really, really hasn't. This book is worse than genocide.

Jaxxy · 08-08-2012 02:25PM

pimbeche wrote: »

I think some women are ashamed to say they liked it to be honest - and bottom line is I think men are uncomfortable with their OH's fantasising about and enjoying the male character in the book.

Im not saying that about all men or all women so dont be twisting words....

Im also saying that behind the facade of this free and modern society , things are still pretty backwards when it comes to sex.

As I said I think men have a problem with the sucess of this book.

Personally I think you're being unfair to men.

stovelid · 08-08-2012 02:27PM

pimbeche wrote: »

As I said I think men have a problem with the sucess of this book.

I get the feeling that this sentence is missing a strategic 'some', somehow.

laugh · 08-08-2012 02:27PM

The more birds that want a good spanking the better!

minidazzler · 08-08-2012 02:28PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

There really, really hasn't. This book is worse than genocide.

Twilight, though it's a similar premise, World revolving around the boy.

ibarelycare · 08-08-2012 02:29PM

minidazzler wrote: »

Twilight, though it's a similar premise, World revolving around the boy.

I've read the Twilight books and yes, they're awful, but honestly 50 Shades is a hundred times worse.

FatherLen · 08-08-2012 02:29PM

to be honest i don't really care what the book is about. i know the general premise of it and it's all i care to know but i have read an excerpt from it and that's where my distaste spawns. It may be the worst written piece of garbage i have ever read. it reads like a children's book with adult themes and any real fan of any genre of literature will tell you the same.

GLaDOS · 08-08-2012 02:32PM

pimbeche wrote: »

As I said I think men have a problem with the sucess of this book.

I haven't read it but if my girlfriend enjoyed it it wouldn't bother me, more power to her.

I think the main problem people have (men and women), is that a poorly written book is doing so well (Well supposedly, haven't read it myself). Similar to the success of Twilight.

--Kaiser-- · 08-08-2012 02:35PM

ScienceNerd wrote: »

I haven't read it but if my girlfriend enjoyed it it wouldn't bother me, more power to her.

I think the main problem people have (men and women), is that a poorly written book is doing so well (Well supposedly, haven't read it myself). Similar to the success of Twilight.

That's my problem with it and similarly popular, appallingly written books. If I see anyone reading Dan Brown I get violent urges

Sea Filly · 08-08-2012 02:35PM

Bad Panda wrote: »

Also, 'jealousy' etc is always mentioned in such cases to argue the reason why men don't like this stuff...usually by women trying to feel empowered.

Edit: Not all men are as secure as the fellows of AH!

TBH, men are handy enough at throwing the jealousy accusation at women too, usually if an attractive female is the focus of the criticism (even the criticism isn't looks-related.).

Sea Filly · 08-08-2012 02:37PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

The main problem with the book isn't the S & M aspect (although the author only seems to have very vague understandings of that world), it's the abusive, controlling relationship (not in the sexual way). There are also dozens of other problems with the book and its writing, characters, plot (or lack thereof) but I'd be here all day!

Yes I agree on all counts. Esp that the author hasn't a clue what s and m is all about.

08-08-2012 02:37PM

pimbeche wrote: »

As I said I think men have a problem with the sucess of this book.

Except, a point which has been made in every second post on this thread, the vast majority of complaints about the book have come from women (which is no surprise, many more women have read it than men). The central point on which your hypothesis rests is complete nonsense

pimbeche · 08-08-2012 02:42PM

well not really , just because someone posted and said that most of the bad reviews he had heard of were from women , doesnt mean that the majority of bad reviews do in fact come from women

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

The Master · 08-08-2012 02:46PM

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe

.

08-08-2012 02:48PM

pimbeche wrote: »

well not really , just because someone posted and said that most of the bad reviews he had heard of were from women , doesnt mean that the majority of bad reviews do in fact come from women

Just because your post started with the assertion that the bad reviews are mainly coming from men doesn't make it true either.

pimbeche wrote: »

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

Another assertion with an extremely tenuous grasp on reality. The whole furore around this book is precisely because it is so openly liked by women

Bad Panda · 08-08-2012 02:51PM

Sea Filly wrote: »

TBH, men are handy enough at throwing the jealousy accusation at women too, usually if an attractive female is the focus of the criticism (even the criticism isn't looks-related.).

Honestly, I don't recall the jealousy accusation by men on here, but I'm sure it happens too.

My point is that when it comes to sex/looks related it's usually women throwing it around to feel somewhat empowered.

Morag · 08-08-2012 02:51PM

pimbeche wrote: »

Has anyone noticed that bar a handful of women , the bad reviews / outpouring of disaprovals for this book are mainly coming from men ?

Even looking at threads that have been started on boards , the majority of the slating is being done by men....

Just like porn has always been considered a guys thing , it seems that this book is turning into a womens thing.

While I dont love the book , I dont hate it either and Im beginning to think that maybe there is some jealousy coming from the guys that women have something of their own.

Am I the only one who has noticed this or what ?

I have slated it and I am a woman.

Erotic fiction has been around for hundreds of year and it's been on sale for the last 40 years here, it's nothing new and yes women seem more interested in it were as men prefer pictures.

Clit lit or 'steamy' novels have always been seen as a womans thing, even with soft core short stories being in women's mags for the last 30 years.

So it's as a genre it's nothing new.

As for 50shadesofgak, it's badly written, woeful to read and details not a romantic relationship but an abusive one and has many misconceptions about BDSM and kink relationships.

People should go read the story of O or Justine or any of the books published by Black Lace.

http://www.eburypublishing.co.uk/virginbooks.asp

Black Lace Books
Launched in 1993, Black Lace was the first erotic fiction list written by women for women. Still the best known erotic fiction imprint in the UK, we relaunched the list in 2012, and published bestsellers The Ninety Days of Genevieve by Lucinda Carrington and In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa. We have similar plans to relaunch Nexus, our erotic fiction list aimed at men.

ibarelycare · 08-08-2012 02:53PM

pimbeche wrote: »

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

Where are you coming up with this assumption?

08-08-2012 02:53PM

pimbeche wrote: »

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

first you said "some women" and now you say "a lot"
any friends of mine would have no problem saying they liked it if they did, but we hate it. because it's badly written crap. i haven't even read anything beyond the excerpts and kindle previews and i can see that!
i also have no problem saying that i have read much better ones of the same genre

4zn76tysfajdxp · 08-08-2012 02:55PM

Sharrow wrote: »

People should go read the story of O or Justine or any of the books published by Black Lace.

http://www.eburypublishing.co.uk/virginbooks.asp

In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa

*sniggers*

cruiser178 · 08-08-2012 02:57PM

My oh started reading it few nights ago but says she would prefer to read erotic fiction from porn sites, she says it gets to the point a lot quicker, and i like her way of thinking.

Although not everyone thought it was so bad http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/6799040/wet-floor-sign-in-front-of-50-shades-of-grey

Dangerous Man · 08-08-2012 03:01PM

My GF read all three books. She said the first two were garbage but the last one wasn't bad; 'it was more like an actual book,' she said, and that it wasn't chock-full of what seemed like a 12-year-old girl's imaginings of what sex is.

Personally, I read a few excerpts and couldn't believe how badly written they were. They were smothered in cliches and hackneyed turns of phrase. Also, from a technical point of view, they were just awful - terrible.

I think the OP is absolutely miles off in her assertions though. I don't begrudge the novelist's success - she's hit on a formula that works and is making money. Good for her. I really don't see anything emasculating in the 50 Shades series either. Most guys couldn't care less and simply won't read it.

08-08-2012 03:14PM

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

I considered reading it, to see what all the fuss is about. But I think I'd rather just actually watch some porn thanks.

kowloon · 08-08-2012 03:15PM

The Master wrote: »

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe

.

If it was in any way as good as Masters of the Universe I wouldn't be complaining.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-Qd388kSK4

08-08-2012 03:17PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

I considered reading it, to see what all the fuss is about. But I think I'd rather just actually watch some porn thanks.

i read the first couple chapters you can get as a preview on the kindle shops
and a bunch of quotes
but yeah rather spend my time with better things

Shivers26 · 08-08-2012 03:19PM

Should have been called Fifty Shades of Sh1te to be honest. Bought the 3 of them online to see what all the fuss is about. Not even finished the first one yet and not particularly impressed.
The S&M aspect doesn't bother me (doesn't do anything for me either) but it is the abusive, controlling behaviour that is portrayed (and glorified) in the book that turns my stomach.

I have a friend who is into BDSM in a big way and she says how it is portrayed in those books is very very inaccurate and borderline offensive to true BDSM practitioners.

I'd rather my own husbag any day of the week.

Men-emasculated by 50 shades ?

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