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So, you're on an airplane...

245

Comments

  • #32
    bluecode
    Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭bluecode


    "ladies and gentlemen, we have lost almost all our power and part of the tail and rudder has sheared off. It would be grossly irresponsible of me to pretend that we aren't in a very grave situation. So grave in fact, that we are all going to probably be dead within about 20 minutes."
    No pilot would say 'we are all going to probably be dead within about twenty minutes.' He would be a bit more diplomatic about it.

    If it's as bad at that he'll be too busy to trying to save everyone's asses rather than scaring the life out of them by telling them they're all going to die and in any case it'll take about two minutes to spiral down and explode in downtown Copenhagen. Only enough time to see your life flash before you five or six times.

    Me, I'd just tighten my seatbelt, eye up the nearest emergency exit and say to myself: 'I picked a bad day to give up smoking pot'.


  • #33
    frag420
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,161 ✭✭✭frag420


    Looks like we are too late, 20 mins are up!!

    Godspeed jupiterkid!!

    RIP


  • #34
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,037 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    OP posted @ 2350, its now 0011 and he is still online.

    Reckon he is a wum.


  • #35
    EPointer=Birdss
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭EPointer=Birdss


    Use the 20 mins to join the 35,000 feet high & dropping club.


  • #36
    dodderangler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,204 ✭✭✭dodderangler


    Your up 35,000 feet in the air in a plane that weighs tons and your tellin me it'll take 20mins to crash
    Id go in the cock pit and batter the pilot for lying to me


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  • #37
    my my my
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭my my my


    dermiek wrote: »
    Well, I'm sure some oul wan will break into a decade of the rosary.

    If she's sitting near me, I'll shut her up with my fists. :(

    unless its my granny then she'll warp your back with her walkin stick:pac:


  • #38
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,187 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    hefferboi wrote: »
    tactical ****

    The plane doesn't even need to be crashing for that. You can blame it on the painkillers and drink afterwards.


  • #39
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,956 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    bluecode wrote: »
    No pilot would say 'we are all going to probably be dead within about twenty minutes.' He would be a bit more diplomatic about it.

    If it's as bad at that he'll be too busy to trying to save everyone's asses rather than scaring the life out of them by telling them they're all going to die and in any case it'll take about two minutes to spiral down and explode in downtown Copenhagen. Only enough time to see your life flash before you five or six times.

    Me, I'd just tighten my seatbelt, eye up the nearest emergency exit and say to myself: 'I picked a bad day to give up smoking pot'.


    That may be, but the captain on this flight is insane. He is relishing the prospect of crashing in a fireball of twisted metal and smoke and is grinning an insane skull-like grin. The co-pilot is already dead.

    I wonder will someone post on Facebook as their status?


    Ronald Spunkfelcher
    Is about to die in an air crash :pac:


  • #40
    SdoowSirhc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 524 ✭✭✭SdoowSirhc


    I'll get the only 2 parachutes on the plane. i will attach one to myself and the other to the beverage cart and save myself with the drinks :D


  • #41
    LETS BE AVN IT
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 373 ✭✭LETS BE AVN IT


    You have used 2 inches of sticky tape


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  • #42
    paddy kerins
    Site Banned Posts: 1,856 ✭✭✭paddy kerins


    I'd just like to tell the pilots good luck, we're all counting on them


  • #43
    Lapin
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,183 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    maglite wrote: »
    Post on After hours looking for suggestions of course.


    FAIL

    You should have gone here instead.

    They know about this stuff.


  • #44
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,310 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Have a smoke, and have a piss; there's no relief in hell :pac:


  • #45
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,123 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    Is this a Ryanair flight? If so, please pay the instant-painful-death charge before you die. Thank you.


  • #46
    dodderangler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,204 ✭✭✭dodderangler


    SdoowSirhc wrote: »
    I'll get the only 2 parachutes on the plane. i will attach one to myself and the other to the beverage cart and save myself with the drinks :D
    Father JACK?
    Is that you?


  • #47
    Scortho
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,871 ✭✭✭Scortho


    I'd join the Mile High Club!


  • #48
    mattser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,448 ✭✭✭mattser


    When I was a kid we used to call it an Aeroplane. Not being a smartarse, but when did it change to Airplane ?


  • #49
    Lapin
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,183 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    ^^^^

    When you hit puberty.


  • #50
    Jammy Donut
    Closed Accounts Posts: 606 ✭✭✭Jammy Donut


    Walk upto the hottest stewardess and ask her fancy a last ****....

    Then I'd pick her up , slide down her skirt while caressing her body, and I'd make sweet sweet love to her.


    Then go into the cockpit and thank the pilot for doing me the favour of announcing we're gonna die and buy him a beer when we land.


  • #51
    CodyJarrett
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 307 ✭✭CodyJarrett


    Grab the screaming person beside me and say:

    Now is not the time for fear. That comes later.


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  • #52
    Washington Irving
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,066 ✭✭✭Washington Irving


    mattser wrote: »
    When I was a kid we used to call it an Aeroplane. Not being a smartarse, but when did it change to Airplane ?

    It didn't, both have always been acceptable

    I have a flight in a few hours, cheers OP


  • #53
    jiltloop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭jiltloop


    Jammy Donut wrote: »
    Walk upto the hottest stewardess and ask her fancy a last ****....

    Then I'd pick her up , slide down her skirt while caressing her body, and I'd make sweet sweet love to her.


    Then go into the cockpit and thank the pilot for doing me the favour of announcing we're gonna die and buy him a beer when we land.

    I find you're better off hoisting up a skirt rather than sliding it down. A bit off topic but I felt strongly enough to post it.


  • #54
    HazDanz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,300 ✭✭✭HazDanz


    Honest answer, I would probable stick on my mp3 player and make a 20 minutes to death playlist. Might as well do something I like for twenty minutes rather than letting myself start wondering into sentimental thoughts.


  • #55
    SweetCaliber
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭SweetCaliber


    Bang one of the flight attendants


  • #56
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,956 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    lee3155 wrote: »
    Bang one of the flight attendants

    Male or female? Or both?


  • #57
    TheGoldenAges
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭TheGoldenAges


    Think what would MacGyver do...


  • #58
    my my my
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭my my my


    Saul-Goode9 wrote: »
    It didn't, both have always been acceptable

    I have a flight in a hours, cheers OP

    check all the rivets as you are boarding


  • #59
    SweetCaliber
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭SweetCaliber


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Male or female? Or both?

    Should have stated that :o Female! :pac:


  • #60
    BillyMitchel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,324 ✭✭✭BillyMitchel


    Is blasting everyone with piss acceptable on this one?!


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  • #61
    fasttalkerchat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    my my my wrote: »
    check all the rivets as you are boarding

    And phalangies.


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