So, you're on an airplane...

JupiterKid · 31-07-2012 11:50PM #1

...and you are enjoying your glass of prosecco at 35,000 feet and a view of Copenhagen and the Oresund below your window when suddenly, the airplane banks to the left and violent turbulence shakes the cabin around like a rag doll.

People are screaming and many are crying. After the worst of the turbulence is over, the captain comes on the intercom in a grave tone:

"ladies and gentlemen, we have lost almost all our power and part of the tail and rudder has sheared off. It would be grossly irresponsible of me to pretend that we aren't in a very grave situation. So grave in fact, that we are all going to probably be dead within about 20 minutes."

Upon hearing this news - what do you do?

mauzo · 31-07-2012 11:51PM

Die 20 minutes later

Sauve · 31-07-2012 11:51PM

Fcuk all really. What can you do sure?

EoghanIRL · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Get more prosecco

tvercetti · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Try not spill my drink

Thoie · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Not much - I'd probably either freeze in terror, close my eyes and wait for it to be over or maybe turn my phone on and see if there's any signal.

ShamoBuc · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Laugh my ass off before kissing it goodbye!

Ghandee · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Swap the prosecco for a beer, cos I'm not ghey.

TIMEisMONEY · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

try and mend the plane

padma · 31-07-2012 11:52PM

Relax, smile and surrender

Sauve · 31-07-2012 11:53PM

"You have used three inches of sticky tape. God bless you."

Oranage2 · 31-07-2012 11:54PM

Surely you can't be serious?

Syllabus · 31-07-2012 11:54PM

grab a load of lifevests. inflate them and secure them to myself, do the same with a load of them head pillows they give you, open a door, wait til the plane is 20ft from the ground and jump

Mr.Crinklewood · 31-07-2012 11:55PM

Pour Redbull into the fuselage.

kfallon · 31-07-2012 11:55PM

Hope to Jaysus MacGyver is down the back of the plane with a screwdriver, some cardboard toilet rolls, 4 paper clips and sticky tape!

Tho knowing that fooking eejit he'll prob go and build a tank :rolleyes:

notnumber · 31-07-2012 11:55PM

Go back on the glue and the crack cocaine...picked the wrong week to give up!

Boombastic · 31-07-2012 11:56PM

Say Mass?

IvySlayer · 31-07-2012 11:56PM

I'll ask if I can fly the plane for a bit

my my my · 31-07-2012 11:56PM

Ar n-athair atá ar neamh, go naofa d-aimn, go dtagadh do riacht,

sééée do bheatha mhuire atá lan de ghrá, tán tiarna leata, '

maglite · 31-07-2012 11:56PM

Post on After hours looking for suggestions of course.

kowloon · 31-07-2012 11:57PM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Upon hearing this news - what do you do?

One of the cabin crew?

bfocusd · 31-07-2012 11:57PM

Break out the skydiving kit I always carry as my on board luggage and cross my fingers, a life jacket aint worth a fook at 35k feet!!!!
While taking a jump out the door take a look at the f*cked people and laugh at their stupidity!!

(note be sure to jump out the door BEHIND the engines or it could get messy and a quicker drop to earth.. With them laughing amused at my cocky attitude)

hefferboi · 31-07-2012 11:59PM

tactical ****

N17er · 01-08-2012 12:01AM

Fcuk that amatuer out of the flight deck and land that puppy myself. A rudder? Sur thats only a secondary control.

Laika1986 · 01-08-2012 12:01AM

hefferboi wrote: »

tactical ****

Using tears as lube I presume?

alphabeat · 01-08-2012 12:01AM

did you write this on a Oujapad ?

Joekers · 01-08-2012 12:03AM

Press the emergency button father !

tayto lover · 01-08-2012 12:04AM

The roof of the plane blows off and Mick turns to Pat and says " if the plane turns upside down, will we fall out?" Pat says "Jaysus Mick don't worry, whatever happens we'll always be friends".