Astonishing Church Costs

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 06:05PM #1

Hello everyone,

Having previously read a thread on here about church costs I am totally disgusted!
I am getting married this time next year and recently went to book the church for the specific date. I was asked to fill out a form with my details, my fiancee's and then choose whether the ceremony would be booked for 12 noon or 2pm. Having spoken to the parish priest on the phone prior to this he matter-of-factly informed me that this 'new tradition' of arriving at the church 20 minutes after the ceremony began would not be tolerated and the wedding would begin at either 12 noon or 2pm.
Anyway, I was informed also that there is a €50 booking fee and the remaining fee of €250 could be paid anytime before the wedding. I was told "Im sure this wont be your highest cost for your big day"

I am wondering does anybody know where this money goes or what its for?

The church is in a small village and I have looked at having my wedding in the next parish which is free if you are from that parish and €100 if you are from an outside parish. How can they all have different costs when under the same diocese?

any opinions and comments would be greatly appreciated!

MrTsSnickers · 29-07-2012 06:28PM

I'd imagine it goes to year round expenses i.e. heating, electricity, insurance, grounds keeping etc. I personally don't see the problem with the cost and seeing as probably more than that will be spent on flowers or a cake I think that they're quite low in comparison. I don't see why it should be free at all to be honest, they're providing a service, if you want it pay, if not spend the €100 in the next parish over. I also think that if you're a regular church goer then there's usually some sort of discount.

lazygal · 29-07-2012 06:40PM

Either choose a different church or have a non church wedding if the costs are too high, like any other supplier for a wedding.

Our local church is always in demand as its a beautiful building within a reasonable distance of many popular hotels. I've known it cost 500 euro to book it, then the donations to priest, sacristans, alter servers, organist etc have to be paid. Its a private building owned by a private company so can set whatever rate it likes. If you really want a church wedding in this church, I'd imagine you'll have to pay, like if you want a particular dress, hotel, or photographer. Churches, especially old buildings like the one in our area, have high year round overheads so they have to make money somehow.

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 08:00PM

I do attend mass as often as I can but obviously with other commitments attending every day or every stations of the cross are not possible.

My point really is that why do some churches charge more than others?
I hope to have my wedding in a small intimate church that will probably cost close to €1000 by the time everyone is paid for their services but I could attend another much larger church in the center of a town for much less

lazygal · 29-07-2012 08:03PM

nobulge.bride wrote: »

I do attend mass as often as I can but obviously with other commitments attending every day or every stations of the cross are not possible.

My point really is that why do some churches charge more than others?
I hope to have my wedding in a small intimate church that will probably cost close to €1000 by the time everyone is paid for their services but I could attend another much larger church in the center of a town for much less

Because they can. It's a private business so it can charge what it likes. Go for the other cheaper option if you don't want to spend the money. It costs 150 quid to get married in Ireland so anything outside that spend is entirely the choice of the couple.

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 08:15PM

lazygal wrote: »

It costs 150 quid to get married in Ireland so anything outside that spend is entirely the choice of the couple.

I am having a small wedding with no frills attached. I'm not having these candy carts, ice-cream vans, crystal center pieces, wedding favours and 20 bridesmaids. My mother inlaw to be is making a cake. A family friend is doing flowers and I have a very reasonable all inclusive package from the hotel. The highest cost will undoubtedly be the church outside of paying for the hotel.

Cant understand how a "private business" worshiped by millions of people can charge a practicing catholic €300 to pay the bills when I have probably donated €500 every year since I began earning an income. €100 to me is beyond sufficient

lazygal · 29-07-2012 08:21PM

nobulge.bride wrote: »

Cant understand how a "private business" worshiped by millions of people can charge a practicing catholic €300 to pay the bills when I have probably donated €500 every year since I began earning an income. €100 to me is beyond sufficient

Well a church is a private operation, so it can charge what it likes. You've got some options. Try to negotiate, like you would with every other supplier. Go to a different church which is cheaper, in the same way you might chose a cheaper hotel or dress. Or not bother with a church wedding, thereby saving a lot. You don't have to marry in this church, its not like its the only place you can get married. If I was as unhappy with how a religion I practiced charged me for its services I'd either find another one or try to argue my position and reduce the costs. I don't know what you expect posters to say, that its a disgrace and shame on the church for charging this much? Priests need the cash to keep rolling in to make sure the church is maintained and they can earn a living. If you don't like it, maybe find another church?

Cathmandooo · 29-07-2012 08:28PM

Is this the church in the parish you're living in?

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 08:34PM

lazygal wrote: »

Well a church is a private operation, so it can charge what it likes. You've got some options. Try to negotiate, like you would with every other supplier. Go to a different church which is cheaper, in the same way you might chose a cheaper hotel or dress. Or not bother with a church wedding, thereby saving a lot. You don't have to marry in this church, its not like its the only place you can get married. If I was as unhappy with how a religion I practiced charged me for its services I'd either find another one or try to argue my position and reduce the costs. I don't know what you expect posters to say, that its a disgrace and shame on the church for charging this much? Priests need the cash to keep rolling in to make sure the church is maintained and they can earn a living. If you don't like it, maybe find another church?

Like my original post stated I was looking for comments and opinions. I see you have expressed yours and its much appreciated but it might be nice to get some views from others also before I make a decision.
It's disappointing when you have budgeted and arranged for a wedding to take place at a certain church only to find out it charges more than others...I just wondered why

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 08:36PM

Cathmandooo wrote: »

Is this the church in the parish you're living in?

Yes I was baptised, had my first holy communion and confirmation there in a small village as did the rest of my family

Cathmandooo · 29-07-2012 08:54PM

nobulge.bride wrote: »

Yes I was baptised, had my first holy communion and confirmation there in a small village as did the rest of my family

I'd go have another chat with the priest, maybe you caught him on a bad day. I do agree that's expensive given its your parish church and you're a regular goer and contributor. I can completely understand churches charging for non parishioners and irregular/non mass goers. If you can't get the price down then consider it your Easter and Christmas dues for next year!

nobulge.bride · 29-07-2012 08:58PM

Cathmandooo wrote: »

I'd go have another chat with the priest, maybe you caught him on a bad day. I do agree that's expensive given its your parish church and you're a regular goer and contributor. I can completely understand churches charging for non parishioners and irregular/non mass goers. If you can't get the price down then consider it your Easter and Christmas dues for next year!

thanks for your contribution. Going to see what I can do

Dinkie · 29-07-2012 10:06PM

Personally, I don't see a problem with the charge either. I'm getting married late next year and will be paying about that for the church.

I won't be having a fancy wedding - my budget for a dress is approx E200 max, flowers will be a couple bouquest from lidl / aldi (what evers in season) and we are desperately trying to keep numbers down. Future MIL is making cake and sister is buying own dress as present to us.

In my mind, I want to marry my OH - preferably in a church. At the end of the day it is a sacrement (and i'm not that religous) - and really it should be about the actually marriage - not about any thing else. As such I don't mind paying what ever amount to the church. By the time the church is opened up, heated, light, priest giving up his time to marry me (+ additional time before), etc... I don't think its that expensive.

I am happy to scrimp on the party and spend it on the cermony to make it magical.

hoodwinked · 29-07-2012 10:25PM

nobulge.bride wrote: »

It's disappointing when you have budgeted and arranged for a wedding to take place at a certain church only to find out it charges more than others...I just wondered why

the reason some churches charge more than others would depend on a variety of reasons,

could be down to how much is made at mass everyweek if the nearby church takes in €2000 and yours takes in €500 the heating costs and running costs would be simular so they would up their wedding charge to compensate (as it is the primary income for most churches)

likewise smaller churches tend to be in demand more as weddings are getting smaller and brides dont want to be walking into a huge empty looking church with only 50 guests inside.

it could be trying to raise money for upcoming renovations.

either way we paid €500 for ours but it is a beautiful small church and imo was well worth the money if a church wedding is what you want. its a small price to pay to have your ceremony there.

Sleepy · 29-07-2012 11:19PM

Like any other business (and don't delude yourself that religion is anything other than a business), it's supply and demand. The smaller, prettier old churches are more in demand than the bigger, ugly yokes they built in the 70's/80's (ridiculous that so many eye-sores got planning permission tbh). High demand means high prices, whether you're talking bands, hotels, DJ's or marriage venues.

Pwpane · 30-07-2012 01:02AM

When I got married, quite a while ago now, there was no charge for the church as far as I remember. We did give a donation to the priest as a thank you as we had asked him in particular to marry us.

In practice parishes are businesses and charge for their services at weddings. But in theory, I don't understand how they can possibly do this. I was taught that priests are there to preach and to serve, and that the community is to support their priests and the church, which they do with their dues and contributions at mass.

There is no charge to hire a church for a funeral, to be confirmed, to receive communion, to go to confession, to receive the last rites, to receive holy orders etc and the church needs to be lit and heated for all these. Why is there a charge to be married? Why is one sacrament different to the others?

Making money on the back of the sacraments is unholy to me. The church is there for the service of the people of God and for nothing else. If the local priest has reason to think you're not a believer then he shouldn't be hiring the church out to you anyway. If you are a believer then he should be welcoming you in. It's your church, and celebrating the sacraments is part of what he is there for.

Sleepy · 30-07-2012 01:37AM

Even if no money passed hands, the ceremony itself is still involves any future children's "souls"...

byhookorbycrook · 30-07-2012 01:39AM

Are you actually living in the parish day to day?

McCloskey_A · 30-07-2012 07:08AM

There is no charge to hire a church for a funeral, to be confirmed, to receive communion, to go to confession, to receive the last rites, to receive holy orders etc and the church needs to be lit and heated for all these. Why is there a charge to be married? Why is one sacrament different to the others?

We had to 'contribute' €400 for my mothers funeral! Depends on the priest a lot I think,

Getting married in a few weeks, church is costing 100 for the priest and 20 for the sacristan

lazygal · 30-07-2012 07:55AM

McCloskey_A wrote: »

We had to 'contribute' €400 for my mothers funeral! Depends on the priest a lot I think,

Getting married in a few weeks, church is costing 100 for the priest and 20 for the sacristan

I remember my dad being told of the suggested donation :roll eyes: when his mum died and he was arranging the funeral.

Moonbeam · 30-07-2012 09:13AM

One of our local churches charges if you are not from the parish and it is a lot more expensive then that but if you live here you just make a donation.

OKvintage · 30-07-2012 09:43AM

Jeepers there's no talk in money at all in my local church - people make donations/contributions but the priest wouldnt mention it at all and then you can ask the sacristan whats the usual - that said we'll be having a civil ceremony so I only know this from the grapevine!!!

Gatica · 30-07-2012 09:49AM

Pwpane wrote: »

When I got married, quite a while ago now, there was no charge for the church as far as I remember. We did give a donation to the priest as a thank you as we had asked him in particular to marry us.

In practice parishes are businesses and charge for their services at weddings. But in theory, I don't understand how they can possibly do this. I was taught that priests are there to preach and to serve, and that the community is to support their priests and the church, which they do with their dues and contributions at mass.

There is no charge to hire a church for a funeral, to be confirmed, to receive communion, to go to confession, to receive the last rites, to receive holy orders etc and the church needs to be lit and heated for all these. Why is there a charge to be married? Why is one sacrament different to the others?

Making money on the back of the sacraments is unholy to me. The church is there for the service of the people of God and for nothing else. If the local priest has reason to think you're not a believer then he shouldn't be hiring the church out to you anyway. If you are a believer then he should be welcoming you in. It's your church, and celebrating the sacraments is part of what he is there for.

I agree. I am not Catholic and don't believe what it teaches. However, I think if a religion expects its parishioners to take part in all sacramental aspects, and if they do and are regular "practitioners" (i.e. church goers), then there should not be charges for using their services, especially if they already regularly contribute and donate willingly and without coercion to the running of the building, etc...

It is also fair that they charge irregular church goers or those who have their ceremonies in the church only cos it's a pretty and traditional wedding and not because it's important to them as a Christian. Hypocritical though it may be. On the other hand, I agree with others that for religion and Catholicism in general, they run it as a business and wanna make some money on the backs of their "sheep"...

mrsnewbie · 30-07-2012 10:00AM

We got married in a church and we both paid pur priests for doing the initial paperwork.Then we threw in 20 euro dues every month up to the wedding (Six months). We gave the altar servers 20 euro each, the priest 150 and two other priests at the ceremony 50 each.. They are giving up their day and it is their job. When you think of everything else you pay for I don't think 250 for your chapel is bad at all. We didn't have a lot of money but if you want that church go for it. However, if it is annoying you now, it will annoy you on the day (especially when you might be hurried along due to another party coming after you) so maybe go for the cheaper church.. it might not be as popular either. Congratualtions by the way

clint_silver · 30-07-2012 11:48AM

Cathmandooo wrote: »

I'd go have another chat with the priest, maybe you caught him on a bad day. I do agree that's expensive given its your parish church and you're a regular goer and contributor. I can completely understand churches charging for non parishioners and irregular/non mass goers. If you can't get the price down then consider it your Easter and Christmas dues for next year!

second this. definitely take this advice. go and speak with them again.

Youve no doubt been putting into that basket your entire life, if now he wants to make it all about the money and you really want the wedding there, Id just pay it. But it would be the last penny I ever put in the basket though, not just dues for this and next year.
Youll make in the long run.

Our priest charged 100e for everything! And he told us he had to charge something so asked was 100e alright. No problem with that.

El Carlito · 30-07-2012 01:28PM

OP you got off lightly with €250 - we were told "the fee for use of the Church is €400". Grant it we are not parishioners and had budgeted for a donation for use of the Church but there is no talk of contributing just a flat out "hire" fee!

How does everyone else fair, is €400 the norm?

Minier81 · 30-07-2012 02:16PM

I am using my own parish church so there is no hire fee, but as far as I know 250-500 is pretty typical when hiring another church for a wedding.

Toto Wolfcastle · 30-07-2012 02:19PM

We got married in a church in the parish I was living in when we got engaged. It was my parish church for about 13 years. Between booking it and getting married I moved to a different county and there was never any mention of a charge. We gave a donation to the priest but he was absolutely fantastic and earned every penny.

pwurple · 30-07-2012 03:01PM

nobulge, every church and parish will have a different way of doing this. The cost goes towards upkeep of the church usually. The older, draftier, nicer churches will be more expensive to repair and run. There are also churches which seem to have no parish priest, like the Honan in UCC in Cork. You have to bring your own priest from somewhere (with a donation for his time on a saturday), and pay a fee for the use of the church as well.

I think they've started suggesting it, because usually people would know they are expected to donate, but as people have lost touch with things, they seem to expect these services for free all of a sudden. I've donated for funerals and baptisms performed as well.

You sound like you're getting a reasonable price there in the scheme of things.

sandraryan100 · 30-07-2012 09:10PM

Have to say €300 is a very good deal for the church, back in the crazy tiger days I'd hear of €700-900. Plus tips for sarchristian,and alter servers! In fairness, it is the ceremony that you are there for, there's usually a rehearsal the night or a few days before, if its a country church the priest needs to open it up especially and lock it after.......count your lucky stars at this rate - seriously!! The priest (hopefully) puts time and effort into making the ceremony personal............... I think €300 is a fair price

ABajaninCork · 02-08-2012 10:49AM

It always amazes me that brides are happy to pay upwards of 1k for a dress and accessories, pay out again for make-up and hair, flowers, cars, BM dresses, favours and all the trimmings, but baulk at paying to use the church for the ceremony! It cracks me up every time...

How else is the upkeep of the church going to be paid for? Man cannot live by bread alone!

Astonishing Church Costs

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