Strange toilet behaviours

Rabies · 25-07-2012 04:37PM

Eathrin wrote: »

I've never shît in a public toilet before.

Really?
But what if you have to go and there is no other choice?
Kind of have to. Can't just run home, drop one and come back to finish the shopping.

Diapason · 25-07-2012 04:41PM

MrStuffins wrote: »

I only found out about 2 years ago that it wasn't normal practice

I only found out right now. WTF? Where else would you put it?

Dangerous Man · 25-07-2012 04:42PM

johnnykilo wrote: »

You shower then shave? WTF!!!

That's how you're supposed to do it man. You shower first to give your beard a good soaking; you'll get a better shave.

--Kaiser-- · 25-07-2012 04:44PM

uch wrote: »

I shít you not !

Just swallowed a ball of string! I **** you knot!

kfallon · 25-07-2012 04:44PM

cocoshovel wrote: »

I know quite a few people like to do their business, and shower with no lights on, in the pitch dark.
I never really understood why to be honest.

I can just imagine it now, get on the 'pot', I take a dump with the lights off then somebody hits the light switch from outside and next thing I realise I'm actually sitting on the sink with a big brown Nike 'swoosh' in the plughole

kfallon · 25-07-2012 04:46PM

Eathrin wrote: »

I've never shît in a public toilet before.

I like to have an early evening dump in the local around 6pm-ish every Saturday.....I refer to it as the 'mid session interval'

herisson · 25-07-2012 04:49PM

Eathrin wrote: »

I've never shît in a public toilet before.

either have i or in college for that matter! And i dont like doing it in other peoples houses!

Diapason · 25-07-2012 04:50PM

Eathrin wrote: »

I've never shît in a public toilet before.

Choose some nice ones to get you started. I heartily recommend The Westin hotel in Dublin, or the Merrion if you're passing. The Fitzwilliam was my city centre crapper of choice for a while, but I find the temperature too high in there these days. After all, it's unseemly to emerge from the cubicle covered in perspiration.

CruelCoin · 25-07-2012 04:51PM

cocoshovel wrote: »

Something I find quite enjoyable is taking off my t-shirt and wristwatch.

"cue cooing like a happy walrus"

CruelCoin · 25-07-2012 04:52PM

Diapason wrote: »

After all, it's unseemly to emerge from the cubicle covered in perspiration.

Lends some weight to your manly claim of performing the largest bowel movement known to man.

kfallon · 25-07-2012 04:53PM

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

either have i or in college for that matter! And i dont like doing it in other peoples houses!

Jaysus you used to be able to set your watch by my arse in College, always in for a early morning 'evacuation' at 10.05am after the first lecture....I was as regular as a Kennedy Funeral back then

25-07-2012 04:53PM

you're all strange

Diapason · 25-07-2012 04:54PM

Seriously though, where are people putting their knobs? Don't leave me dangling!

Duggy747 · 25-07-2012 04:54PM

I lived with a guy who couldn't aim his shìtes into the bowl to save his life.

Always got smears on the back of the toilet SEAT!

As for me, I don't last very long in a toilet. Never did that reading on the bowl or playing with the phone thing. Just get in, do my business and be out again in a flash.

3ndahalfof6 · 25-07-2012 04:54PM

I flush with my elbow, not sure why.

herisson · 25-07-2012 04:54PM

kfallon wrote: »

Jaysus you used to be able to set your watch by my arse in College, always in for a early morning 'evacuation' at 10.05am after the first lecture....I was as regular as a Kennedy Funeral back then

Nope i couldnt bring myself to do it! Too paranoid someone would here me :pac:

kfallon · 25-07-2012 04:56PM

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Nope i couldnt bring myself to do it! Too paranoid someone would here me :pac:

Courtesy flush

Just beware the splashback :eek:

Diapason · 25-07-2012 04:56PM

In other news, my bowels know the exact moment when the cleaner in the office has just finished the toilets. Doesn't matter what time she does it, she'll walk out and I'll walk in.

herisson · 25-07-2012 04:59PM

kfallon wrote: »

Courtesy flush

Just beware the splashback :eek:

splashback......*shudder*

bogwalrus · 25-07-2012 07:29PM

sitting on the toilet facing the cistern. you need to try it before you debunk it. Nice ledge to lean on. You can even nap for a bit.

charlemont · 25-07-2012 07:34PM

bogwalrus wrote: »

sitting on the toilet facing the cistern. you need to try it before you debunk it. Nice ledge to lean on. You can even nap for a bit.

Hm, Think I'll try it out..:p

Doesn't look like anybody mentioned smoking and reading a paper on the bog yet..

mauzo · 25-07-2012 07:41PM

bogwalrus wrote: »

sitting on the toilet facing the cistern. you need to try it before you debunk it. Nice ledge to lean on. You can even nap for a bit.

You mean AC Slatering??
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ac%20slatering

areyawell · 25-07-2012 07:43PM

Before I take a dump I have to do a couple of things. I light scented candles in the bathroom, I then take some bog roll and iron it. Around three metres usually suffices. Unless I get dangleberries I need more, there some pain. I then turn on the stereo and listen to Eminem till I collapse. It give me the motivation to get that plop in the toilet. Before I sit on the toilet I lick the seat clean to ensure I dont get a disease off the toilet lid. I then get stark naked and sit on the toilet seat waving my arms around in a circle while trying to lick my ear. I then take my poo out the toliet and dress it up with a sock and cut a ping pong ball in half to use as eyes for it. I then use my freshly ironed toilet paper and clean my ass unless I have Dangleberries. there some pain. Me and my poo then watch T.V together. My poo is my best friend. Will post up some pictures of me and them on holidays soon. I see my poo as my children and not too be flushed down the toilet. Thats just mean!!

kfallon · 25-07-2012 07:43PM

syndeyfife wrote: »

You mean AC Slatering??
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ac%20slatering

Very interesting, a frontal pebbledash, might have to try this out

KTRIC · 26-07-2012 09:17AM

areyawell wrote: »

Before I take a dump I have to do a couple of things. I light scented candles in the bathroom, I then take some bog roll and iron it. Around three metres usually suffices. Unless I get dangleberries I need more, there some pain. I then turn on the stereo and listen to Eminem till I collapse. It give me the motivation to get that plop in the toilet. Before I sit on the toilet I lick the seat clean to ensure I dont get a disease off the toilet lid. I then get stark naked and sit on the toilet seat waving my arms around in a circle while trying to lick my ear. I then take my poo out the toliet and dress it up with a sock and cut a ping pong ball in half to use as eyes for it. I then use my freshly ironed toilet paper and clean my ass unless I have Dangleberries. there some pain. Me and my poo then watch T.V together. My poo is my best friend. Will post up some pictures of me and them on holidays soon. I see my poo as my children and not too be flushed down the toilet. Thats just mean!!

Riiiiiiiiiight :rolleyes:

Sam Kade · 26-07-2012 09:35AM

I was in a pub once where some dirty b@stard sh1t on the floor beside the urinals.

Max Power1 · 26-07-2012 09:35AM

2.5 words

Sh!t n' Surf....

kfallon · 26-07-2012 09:41AM

Sam Kade wrote: »

I was in a pub once where some dirty b@stard sh1t on the floor beside the urinals.

Sorry, I got caught short

Aglomerado · 26-07-2012 09:46AM

:pac:

areyawell wrote: »

Before I take a dump I have to do a couple of things. I light scented candles in the bathroom, I then take some bog roll and iron it. Around three metres usually suffices. Unless I get dangleberries I need more, there some pain. I then turn on the stereo and listen to Eminem till I collapse. It give me the motivation to get that plop in the toilet. Before I sit on the toilet I lick the seat clean to ensure I dont get a disease off the toilet lid. I then get stark naked and sit on the toilet seat waving my arms around in a circle while trying to lick my ear. I then take my poo out the toliet and dress it up with a sock and cut a ping pong ball in half to use as eyes for it. I then use my freshly ironed toilet paper and clean my ass unless I have Dangleberries. there some pain. Me and my poo then watch T.V together. My poo is my best friend. Will post up some pictures of me and them on holidays soon. I see my poo as my children and not too be flushed down the toilet. Thats just mean!!

Is that you, Mr Hankey? :pac:

Ben Elton did a great stand up routine about public toilets back in the 1980s.
Piss-lakes, "whirly-splatter" and the embarrassment about the attendant noises.

It's on youtube, but I can't access that right now.

Tiroskan · 26-07-2012 09:47PM

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Nope i couldnt bring myself to do it! Too paranoid someone would here me :pac:

That's what MP3 players were invented for :P

Strange toilet behaviours

Comments