Can you have a relationship with somebody without being physically attracted to them?

MarthaMyDear · 24-07-2012 11:31PM #1

What do you think?

Is it shallow to think you have to be attracted to your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse? Or do you think there has to be a certain amount of physical attraction for a relationship to work?

I was just thinking about it earlier when a friend of mine said she has no attraction to her boyfriend at all. I actually don't know what the answer to this is but I'm just curious to hear other people's views!

kfallon · 24-07-2012 11:31PM

Yeah, a relationship as friends obviously

Maybe the odd ride or two if ye both were in a 'drought'

MarthaMyDear · 24-07-2012 11:34PM

kfallon wrote: »

Yeah, a relationship as friends obviously

Maybe the odd ride or two if ye both were in a 'drought'

Haha true

What about an actual relationship though like seeing each other?

mauzo · 24-07-2012 11:35PM

No way. You have to have some attraction.

Theres been the odd time ive gone out with someone that I havent found physically attractive, but their personality changed my mind. Id go from thinking they werent my type to thinking they're sex on legs!!! Just by them making me laugh!

MarthaMyDear · 24-07-2012 11:38PM

Yeah, my friend said she's attracted to her boyfriend's personality and humor. I would usually find funny guys really attractive, but is it enough for a long term relationship?

Bipolar Joe · 24-07-2012 11:38PM

Yup.

kfallon · 24-07-2012 11:39PM

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

Haha true What about an actual relationship though like seeing each other?

Not sure tbh, I think you can grow to love someone who you weren't initially attracted to but the more you spend time in their company you start to change your mind.

You do hear people say they weren't attracted to their OH initially but over time an attraction grew

Duggy747 · 24-07-2012 11:41PM

Well, it's a good thing my GF loves me for my money.

*checks wallet*

*moth flies out*

shìt

Tallon · 24-07-2012 11:48PM

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

What do you think?

Is it shallow to think you have to be attracted to your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse? Or do you think there has to be a certain amount of physical attraction for a relationship to work?

I was just thinking about it earlier when a friend of mine said she has no attraction to her boyfriend at all. I actually don't know what the answer to this is but I'm just curious to hear other people's views!

It's clear from her signals that she wants you!

MarthaMyDear · 24-07-2012 11:50PM

kfallon wrote: »

Not sure tbh, I think you can grow to love someone who you weren't initially attracted to but the more you spend time in their company you start to change your mind.

You do hear people say they weren't attracted to their OH initially but over time an attraction grew

Yeah I've heard people say that too actually. Well I said something along the lines of that to my friend because she was saying it's starting to bother her and she was asking me was it shallow. They've been going out over a year now. To be honest I don't think they're very intimate anymore so that's why I'm starting to wonder about it.

I'm single at the moment so don't have anything to go by *tear*

admiralofthefleet · 24-07-2012 11:57PM

of course you can, its called marriage:)

kfallon · 24-07-2012 11:59PM

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

Yeah I've heard people say that too actually. Well I said something along the lines of that to my friend because she was saying it's starting to bother her and she was asking me was it shallow. They've been going out over a year now. To be honest I don't think they're very intimate anymore so that's why I'm starting to wonder about it.

I'm single at the moment so don't have anything to go by *tear*

They're fucked, tis all over bar the shouting

You'll find a caring loving affectionate chivalrous man here in AH

pebbles21 · 25-07-2012 12:00AM

Dear Martha,
Im not attracted to you any more,your dumped

^^This is a text you got..didnt you Martha?:D

MarthaMyDear · 25-07-2012 12:03AM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Dear Martha,
Im not attracted to you any more,your dumped

^^This is a text you got..didnt you Martha?:D

All the repressed memories are coming back to me :eek::eek::eek:

kfallon · 25-07-2012 12:06AM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Dear Martha,
Im not attracted to you any more,your dumped

^^This is a text you got..didnt you Martha?:D

He also sent a picture of his aroused 'appendage' as a memento and to get her thru the tough aftermath......

ArtSmart · 25-07-2012 12:16AM

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

What do you think?

Is it shallow to think you have to be attracted to your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse? Or do you think there has to be a certain amount of physical attraction for a relationship to work?

I was just thinking about it earlier when a friend of mine said she has no attraction to her boyfriend at all. I actually don't know what the answer to this is but I'm just curious to hear other people's views!

if there's no thrust, there's no trust.

simple as.

deandean · 25-07-2012 12:52AM

Yes you can but it is gonna be bloody boring

Shryke · 25-07-2012 01:06AM

No. You'll just be weird friends. Great breeding ground for resentment and loathing if that's you're thing. Of course if that was your thing then it would work. Swings and roundabouts.

Novella · 25-07-2012 01:36AM

Quite simply - no.

CodyJarrett · 25-07-2012 01:48AM

Level of attractiveness is one of the last things that humans still discriminate against other people for and yet feel no guilt while they do it. You will often hear people slagging others for being ugly with not so much as a hint of shame as they proclaim that to be the case. Which of course is inferring that they themselves are somehow better for not being as ugly themselves.

Humans are shallow - some of us try and pretend we're not, but we are.

OMARS_COMING_ · 25-07-2012 01:50AM

Ive been in this situation the past 18 months so yes.

Culleeo · 25-07-2012 08:31AM

We have to be honest here, some say looks don't matter but you can't fap about personality.

Personally, I think there has to be attraction there. I couldn't imagine being with someone who I wasn't attracted to, yes, maybe a kiss after a few pints but for a relationship, it would be a no go.

johnwest288 · 25-07-2012 08:36AM

syndeyfife wrote: »

No way. You have to have some attraction.

Theres been the odd time ive gone out with someone that I havent found physically attractive, but their personality changed my mind. Id go from thinking they werent my type to thinking they're sex on legs!!! Just by them making me laugh!

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

;););););););):o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Culleeo · 25-07-2012 08:42AM

johnwest288 wrote: »

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

;););););););):o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Haha, god loves a trier.

Ms.M · 25-07-2012 09:47AM

How brief is the "relationship" and how drunk are ya?

--LOS-- · 25-07-2012 10:26AM

In a relationship if I'm attracted to someone, I'm attracted to their personality, looks, everything, if something in their personality changes their looks quickly fade.

Funglegunk · 25-07-2012 10:31AM

Physical attraction is definitely a big part of it, so no. Unless you're settling.

Hardonraging · 25-07-2012 10:36AM

johnwest288 wrote: »

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

;););););););):o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

This is bad and you should feel bad !!!

charlietheminxx · 25-07-2012 11:13AM

There has to be an initial reaction. They don't have to be good looking to be attractive though. Some of the sexiest people I've met have been average looking but with great attitudes or sexy laughs or whatever that make them amazingly physically attractive.

My boyfriend is a bit of a ride though

25-07-2012 11:16AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

of course you can, its called marriage:)

Jaysis, how long are you married again?

smash · 25-07-2012 11:18AM

charlietheminxx wrote: »

Some of the sexiest people I've met have been average looking but with great attitudes or sexy laughs or whatever that make them amazingly physically attractive.

Guess it's the difference between men and women, or maybe it's just me. A woman could be sound and have a great laugh etc but if she's not physically attractive then I'd only ever consider her a friend.

Can you have a relationship with somebody without being physically attracted to them?

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