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The How to Get Home for 11 Cent Conundrum

2

Comments

  • #32
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I forgot my wallet today, bought lunch with the coins in my pocket before I realised and now I have but 11c in that pocket.

    It's raining a lot today and I have an umbrella but I do not fancy the hour long walk home. I know nobody who can give me a lift home and don't have anybody who can drop by my house to get my wallet for me. So I turn to you fine denizens of After Hours to help me in my plight. How can I get home for only 11c?

    Help me Obi-Wan After Hours, you're my only hope!

    Yours shelteringly,

    AnonoBoy


    Anno. Post your address and if you have a hidden spare key and we'll run by the house for you.


  • #33
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Offer to Suck off your boss for €50

    €50.11 profit


  • #34
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    fishy fishy wrote: »
    (this is a joke and not meant to
    be serious).
    Why not? If the walk is less than an hour I couldn't be arsed getting a bus. Walk, you pussy.


  • #35
    TimmyTank
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭TimmyTank


    How about you find a local junkie who's stuck for 11 cent and get a jockey back home.

    I know this will probably take longer than walking yourself but with umbrella in hand you can keep yourself and your steed dry and save you with all that exercise malarkey....


  • #36
    giant_midget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭giant_midget


    Why not do what a normal person would and ask one of your work friends for a lend until tomorrow? :confused:


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  • #37
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    ZombieMed wrote: »
    Also, how did you get to work this morning without your wallet?

    Money in my pocket.
    Rented Mule wrote: »
    Anno. Post your address and if you have a hidden spare key and we'll run by the house for you.

    Nice try Mule Boy.
    Boombastic wrote: »
    Offer to Suck off your boss for €50

    €50.11 profit

    No boss. Otherwise this would be the option I would go for.
    seamus wrote: »
    Why not? If the walk is less than an hour I couldn't be arsed getting a bus. Walk, you pussy.

    Stop your nonsense with this walking craic.
    TimmyTank wrote: »
    How about you find a local junkie who's stuck for 11 cent and get a jockey back home.

    I know this will probably take longer than walking yourself but with umbrella in hand you can keep yourself and your steed dry and save you with all that exercise malarkey....

    I like it. Think I might go with this one.

    If it stops raining I could use the umbrella as a whip to drive him onwards at greater speed.


  • #38
    Conall Cernach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,999 ✭✭✭Conall Cernach


    Skylinehead wrote: »
    "Excuse me sir, ya wudn't happen to have a eurrrrro for de bus wud ya?"
    A guy tried that on me on Saturday only it was the price of a gallon of diesel for the car! He then proceeded to show me "his" driving licence for some reason and it was a different person in the picture.


  • #39
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    giant_midget wrote: »
    Why not do what a normal person would and ask one of your work friends for a lend until tomorrow? :confused:

    I work alone these days.

    Like a hitman.

    A mundane, office-bound hitman.


  • #40
    giant_midget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭giant_midget


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I work alone these days.

    Like a hitman.

    A mundane, office-bound hitman.


    Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:


  • #41
    Conall Cernach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,999 ✭✭✭Conall Cernach


    giant_midget wrote: »
    Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:
    Or pretend to be drunk in public and wait for a Guard to drive you home.


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  • #42
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    Steal and then attempt to sell office supplies.

    Failing that, offer blowjobs.

    Ask for the money first though, because they frequently don't pay afterwards. :mad:


  • #43
    crazy cabbage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 738 ✭✭✭crazy cabbage


    WALK!!!

    The good people of after hours will keep you company :P


  • #44
    KKkitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Get out your thumb and stick out your bum.


  • #45
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    giant_midget wrote: »
    Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:

    Let me see where that staple-gun is.......


  • #46
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    You go into a shop, walk upto the counter and spill the 11 cent into the crisps at the front of the counter. Apologise profusely and start looking around picking out the 11 cent. Then tell the cashier that your missing €4 and you cant find it, check your watch and mumble worriedly about missing the bus.

    Guy behind the counter will say "No worries here's the €4 I'll dig the coins out, you go catch that bus ya weirdo.". To ease you conscience you go back in tomorrow and have a little chat about how strange it was that the coins disappeared. Insist on giving the guy back the 4 euro and your in the clear and everyone is happy.


  • #47
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    KKkitty wrote: »
    Get out your thumb and stick out your bum.

    And stick my thumb up my bum? :eek:
    LordSmeg wrote: »
    You go into a shop, walk upto the counter and spill the 11 cent into the crisps at the front of the counter. Apologise profusely and start looking around picking out the 11 cent. Then tell the cashier that your missing €4 and you cant find it, check your watch and mumble worriedly about missing the bus.

    Guy behind the counter will say "No worries here's the €4 I'll dig the coins out, you go catch that bus ya weirdo.". To ease you conscience you go back in tomorrow and have a little chat about how strange it was that the coins disappeared. Insist on giving the guy back the 4 euro and your in the clear and everyone is happy.

    That's so obvious I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier.


  • #48
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    Or another scam solution would be to flag a taxi, get in tell him somewhere a good bit past your place and then few streets later you say "crap I've no money, dont suppose you can drop me off as a favour?" ":mad: get the fcuk out :mad:"

    Out ya get and flag another one, depending on how far it is you might take ya 2-3 attempts.


  • #49
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    Conall Cernach wrote: »
    A guy tried that on me on Saturday only it was the price of a gallon of diesel for the car! He then proceeded to show me "his" driving licence for some reason and it was a different person in the picture.

    My mate had someone ask for 4 euro...."for a cigarette". 4 quid? Get the boat :pac:


  • #50
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    And stick my thumb up my bum? :eek:

    Hey, don't knock it :pac:


  • #51
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    kfallon wrote: »
    Hey, don't knock it :pac:

    Hey, many's the hour I've whiled away playing Ass-Thumb-Wars but I don't see how it's going to get me home.


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  • #52
    TwoShedsJackson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    Why don't you tell us where you are and where you need to go and maybe some kind soul will offer a lift.


  • #53
    The Very Hungry Catterpillar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20 ✭The Very Hungry Catterpillar


    As you've done sweet f*** all work this afternoon why don't you just stay the night, do a bit of catching up, save your 11 c and whatever it would cost you to get back in the morning, then you can come back on here tomorrow with the same conundrum but at least your work will be up-to-date :D


  • #54
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    TwoShedsJackson wrote: »
    Why don't you tell us where you are and where you need to go and maybe some kind soul will drive to you and laugh.

    I fixed your post. At least what I'd do if I could drive to him.


  • #55
    Atticus Jung
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 194 ✭✭Atticus Jung


    Have you any sort of id? If so, go to your bank and get a tenner out.
    Do you use the same cafe everyday? If so you might know an employee who'd sort you.

    Or you could just walk


  • #56
    token101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,050 ✭✭✭token101


    Go into a shop, ask for something obscure. Cashier goes to look, you knock over the charity box. Start picking up all the coins and just pocket a few coins. Go back in tomorrow when you've got your wallet and throw in whatever you borrowed.


  • #57
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    Anno.....just remember the bumper sticker that I once saw as a kid.

    Ass, gas or grass ....no one rides for free.


  • #58
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    No need to fret folks, I found a local wino who gave me a piggy-back home in exchange for half a bottle of blue nun I had lying about out back of the house.

    Thanks for the concern chaps.

    Toodlie pip for now!


  • #59
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    No need to fret folks, I found a local wino who gave me a piggy-back home in exchange for half a bottle of blue nun I had lying about out back of the house.

    Thanks for the concern chaps.

    Toodlie pip for now!

    Lads I think we've been had ! There never was any 11 cents was there ? :mad:


  • #60
    mconigol
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,583 ✭✭✭mconigol


    High interest deposit account (4.55%) compounded for 74 years equals €1.40

    That's enough for the bus right?

    Disclaimer: This is not accounting for inflation


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  • #61
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    mconigol wrote: »
    High interest deposit account (4.55%) compounded for 74 years equals €1.40

    That's enough for the bus right?

    Disclaimer: This is not accounting for inflation

    Lazy.


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