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You have a gun pointed at your head

24

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,766 ✭✭✭juan.kerr


    Stephen Merchant is a writer, well known for The Office, when he was in university you used to carry around a fake wallet in case he got robbed

    What's a 'fake wallet'? You mean he was too tight to buy a proper wallet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭Bad Panda


    We're assuming the gunman is..well...a man!

    What if it was a woman? Chat her up then deck her when her guard is down? :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,766 ✭✭✭juan.kerr


    Bad Panda wrote: »
    We're assuming the gunman is..well...a man!

    What if it was a woman? Chat her up then deck her when her guard is down? :D

    Head butt her when she thinks you're about to snog her?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭saiint


    juan.kerr wrote: »
    Head butt her when she thinks you're about to snog her?
    for all you know it could be a fat man with man boobs


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,109 ✭✭✭MaxSteele


    I'd take a chance and refuse. Really .... do you think someone who robs petrol stations would shoot someone point blank range in the head for not handing over their wallet ??

    I also think the fact that I have some scumbag trying to steal my winning lotto ticket would just be so enraging that you'd at least try to get out of it.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    juan.kerr wrote: »
    What's a 'fake wallet'? You mean he was too tight to buy a proper wallet?

    A decoy wallet with old library cards in it and maybe just a fiver in it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,766 ✭✭✭juan.kerr


    saiint wrote: »
    for all you know it could be a fat man with man boobs

    Does it matter, once you head butt him / her successfully without having to kiss?

    Plus he'd have to be taking estrogen supplements and be dressed as a woman to be that confusing. But then again maybe it's all part of his disguise to throw the cops off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,144 ✭✭✭DonkeyStyle \o/


    Open the wallet, take out the cash and hand that over, keep the wallet and remaining contents.
    It'd probably be an acceptable compromise.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Sure once they collect the winnings they'd be caught anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,959 ✭✭✭Jesus Shaves


    i'd say you can have the wallet if i can take my pictures of my kids out of it, take the pictures and lotto ticket out and hand him the wallet, in this scenario i have already shít myself by the way.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭CamperMan


    Bad Panda wrote: »
    We're assuming the gunman is..well...a man!

    What if it was a woman? Chat her up then deck her when her guard is down? :D

    if it was a women.. she probably wouldn't know how to knock the safety off


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 438 ✭✭Omeceron


    I wouldn't worry, it's just the wallet inspector. He'll give it back once everything is in order.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    CamperMan wrote: »
    Bad Panda wrote: »
    We're assuming the gunman is..well...a man!

    What if it was a woman? Chat her up then deck her when her guard is down? :D

    if it was a women.. she probably wouldn't know how to knock the safety off

    That gave me a giggle :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,783 ✭✭✭Pj!


    I'd open my wallet and hand him every bank note that was in it, plus the cards. Hopefully that would keep him happy.


  • Posts: 7,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Stephen Merchant is a writer, well known for The Office, when he was in university you used to carry around a fake wallet in case he got robbed

    When he was in university.... I used to carry around a fake walled.... in case HE got robbed?

    Not sure when he was in university but I have always carried around a fake wallet. Long before the Office I think. But in case I got robbed. Not him. I don't even know the guy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭Angeles


    Take out the wallet
    Open it
    Hand him all remaining cash in wallet.
    Advise him that i have money in bank account and am willing to remove and give to him.
    Go to atm
    Take out remaining cash
    Watch him run off happily
    Quote line - Not a single F**k given.
    Stroll into lotto money giving place with smirk.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    al28283 wrote: »
    Alot of people do this, My dad carries a wallet full of 15euro notes

    15 euro notes? did he make them himself?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    Ha - I would turn my wallet upsidedown emptying everything onto the floor.

    My pinky would be slyly holding back the ticket though.


    Then I'd say, take it bitch

    once he bends down to pick up my pennys a swift knee to his upper teeth should sort out that problem.


    then I would bend down & steal all his ****, even his clothes, I would go out to the forecourt and also steal his getaway vehicle


    muhahahahah


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    Depends where I am, If I'm in Clonakilty I'd tell him to fcuk off, On the other hand If I where in south central L.A I'd piss myself, tell him I had a wife and kids and hand it over.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    kfallon wrote: »
    I'm sure that there must be some process of collecting a Lotto jackpot even tho you've lost a ticket

    You have to confirm the time approx that you bought the ticket.
    You have to confirm which shop and (if you can remember) a description of actual seller.

    Get the shop wrong - your done.
    Get the seller description wrong and/or the time their shift was, your done.
    Get the approx time wrong, your done.

    Additionally, some shops have security cameras so its possible in this digital age that there is a back-up of you purchasing the ticket.
    ...Even if thats not the case other street or shop cameras might show you in the locality that you claim you were around, at the time of purchase.

    ...Plus while the shop seller won't remember your particular numbers, they might also remember that you were in that day too.

    If you use the same numbers repeatedly, there will be a traceable show of that too (short version).


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    I'd probably put my army Ranger training to use. Run in a zig zag line while doing the odd duck and roll.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    I'd probably put my army Ranger training to use. Run in a zig zag line while doing the odd duck and roll.
    Yummy..I love duck roll


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    not yet wrote: »
    Yummy..I love duck roll

    Mmmmmmmm duck.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    Mmmmmmmm duck.
    Where....?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    I would ask him if he really wanted to be known as the guy who robbed mother Theresa son,

    or just tickle him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    The odds of him shooting and killing you are very low actually but still I would hand over the wallet and try to get the money later. If I was feeling brave maybe drop the wallet hoping the ticket would fall out and he wouldn't bother picking the ticket up.

    Note: 2 million euro can't be collected at the garage so I wouldn't be there in the first place.


  • Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I have one of these in my wallet.



    Gunman's not getting it.

    The money? Sure, here dude, have it, lemme just get it in a fumbling not-trying-to-hide-fetching-the-little-knife-way.....

    (honestly? he'd get the wallet & I'd throw the swisscard away in full view of him)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    Or...I'd wink at him whilst saying something like, hello sailor how about me and you get a room.

    Now if your very unlucky and he's that way inclinded, then your fcuked ha ha get it fcuked. I'm a funny knut so I am.


  • Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Maximiliano Slimy Lawn


    Biggins wrote: »
    You have to confirm the time approx that you bought the ticket.
    You have to confirm which shop and (if you can remember) a description of actual seller.

    Get the shop wrong - your done.
    Get the seller description wrong and/or the time their shift was, your done.
    Get the approx time wrong, your done.

    Additionally, some shops have security cameras so its possible in this digital age that there is a back-up of you purchasing the ticket.
    ...Even if thats not the case other street or shop cameras might show you in the locality that you claim you were around, at the time of purchase.

    ...Plus while the shop seller won't remember your particular numbers, they might also remember that you were in that day too.

    If you use the same numbers repeatedly, there will be a traceable show of that too (short version).
    are you serious, id never remember that


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭bluecode


    I'd say, 'I don't know who you are but if you take my wallet. I will look for you. I will find you down and I will kill you.'

    Alternatively I would give him the wallet. In any case I never have any money in it, my cards are maxed out and even my social welfare card is usesless as I'm not entitled to the dole. As for the winning lottery ticket I would never keep in my wallet. But if I did you can be sure it was already signed and I would have phoned the National lottery before I ever left the house. He would get nothing.

    But in reality most of these small timers couldn't afford a gun. That's why they're robbing. If they stole a gun. They would sell it for good money.

    I was caught up in a Post Office robbery once. Heard a scream as a woman, the Post Mistress ran away from the shop. Curious, I walked to the door just in time to see one of the robbers rushing towards the exit. Time stands still and I had time to consider smacking him on the face with my motorcycle helmet as he ran past. Then time to reconsider because I didn't know if his pal behind him had a gun or not. But even a pickaxe handle would have outgunned me.

    He read my mind and said 'Don't do it mate' as he passed me. It all took less than twenty or thirty seconds. I'm no Chuck Norris let me tell you.

    All very exciting.


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