Does the success of '50 Shades Of Grey' prove that every woman loves a bastard?

Eve_Dublin · 13-07-2012 09:57PM

Pantsface wrote: »

meh, its cool to say you've read it / enjoyed it "oh look at me i'm a bit risky"

Ehhh...I think women want to read it to have a bit of a twiddle and not to be "cool".

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 13-07-2012 10:02PM

it's ****ing twilight fanfiction

twilight
****ing
fanfiction

anyone who reads it needs to be shot

whendovescry · 13-07-2012 10:03PM

Irish 50 shades of grey, courtesy of voteforlee on reddit:

Give it to me, give it to me’, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.

He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” “Feck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!” ...

Bríd’s knees were sore and her throat was raw…This was the longest Novena she’d ever attended.

You’re so tight, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.

Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.

‘She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. ‘Take me in the shower Sean!’ I whispered to her ‘Wait til I turn on the immersion’

‘Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted’

She wrapped her fingers around it and greedily pulled it towards her lips.20 bottles for 15 quid at Centra Mick! Bargain!

'its so long!Never seen the likes of it!' exclaimed maire, as she joined the dole queue

She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! Juices ran down her face. Mary did love a kebab after coppers

She was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling

She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body... Jaysus, she thought. The vicks is kicking in now!

Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!

He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said she preferred Hob Nobs or a purple Schnack with her tea

'Spread 'em', he said gruffly. Margie looked dolefully at the bags of fertilizer destined for the back field...

My name is URL · 13-07-2012 10:05PM

Ride me sideways was another one

13-07-2012 10:07PM

havent read it. heard all about it from girls who have.

poo, i believe is the general consensus!!

the popularity i would imagine is with women who;
1. dont generally read anything!!
2. dont watch/read porn.

if you want a story, read a book.
if you want a racy story read a good jilly cooper novel, at least they have good story.
if you want to get off, read porn, or maybe watch it!!

ejmaztec · 13-07-2012 10:08PM

biko wrote: »

I heard the butler did it.

With a cucumber in the library.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 13-07-2012 10:10PM

Queen-Mise wrote: »

Now that is literary snobbery. And all media is far from the quality of 'literature'.

Hardly snobbery. Trashy is one thing. Good, lowbrow disposable shite is great fun in any form. But bad writing is bad writing and should be treated as such.

Everything has its place.

That's right, and rubbish goes in the bin!

*throws book in a skip*

Anything that has the amount of people reading it that 50 Shades does - deserves to be analysed in some way.

Yes, but only in this case to determine how it got to be so inexplicably popular. Not because it has any literary merit because from what I've heard, it has none.

Pantsface · 13-07-2012 10:12PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Ehhh...I think women want to read it to have a bit of a twiddle and not to be "cool".

you'd be surprised....

Cork Lass · 13-07-2012 10:13PM

Pantsface wrote: »

meh, its cool to say you've read it / enjoyed it "oh look at me i'm a bit risky"

Risqué would be the word you're looking for there. If you're going to criticise then do it right:)

Pacing Mule · 13-07-2012 10:15PM

Arjun Little Menthol wrote: »

Please don't analyse that "book" like it's real literature. It cheapens the whole medium. Possibly all media.

Classic knee jerk response.

Head over to literotica.com and read some of the absolute ****e on that site. That's the kind of crap that cheapens the medium.

Then actually read the entire story (the fact you say "book" I suspect means you haven't read it - there's three books in total)

There's no comparison at all.

krudler wrote: »

or they're badly written Twilight fanfiction spinoffs

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

it's ****ing twilight fanfiction

twilight
****ing
fanfiction

anyone who reads it needs to be shot

Again another misconception.

My understanding is that the story was originally written for / published on a message board for fans of the twilight books. It was noticed there, picked up and eventually published. However the fifty shades series has nothing to do with twilight, vampires or whatever else. It just happened to be published within a community who were fans of that series.

Lads go and read the books and then criticise them by all means but don't criticise them based on the assumptions doing the rounds.

PK2008 · 13-07-2012 10:17PM

50 shades of Mustard!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEipG31iAC4

AhInFairness · 13-07-2012 10:17PM

Queen-Mise wrote: »

Anything that has the amount of people reading it that 50 Shades does - deserves to be analysed in some way.

So should we analyse The National Enquirer? That has over half a million people reading it every week. How about the Twilight books? Should we analyse those?

Anyone who reads this without seeing how bad the writing is needs to seriously expand their reading horizons.

Crap like this, Twilight, and fiction "written" by celebrities should not be celebrated in any way. It should be recognised for the crap that it is.

Edited to add: I have read them. They are tripe.

Gummy Panda · 13-07-2012 10:18PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA

4zn76tysfajdxp · 13-07-2012 10:22PM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Classic knee jerk response.

Head over to literotica.com and read some of the absolute ****e on that site. That's the kind of crap that cheapens the medium.

Then actually read the entire story (the fact you say "book" I suspect means you haven't read it - there's three books in total)

There's no comparison at all.

The fact that there are worse novels out there doesn't make this one any better. I mean, here's an extract:

“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky ****ery at all?"
My mouth drops open. "Kinky ****ery?" I squeak.
"Kinky ****ery."
"I can't believe you said that.'
"Well, I did. Answer me," he says calmly.
I flush. My inner goddess is down on bended knee with her hands clasped in supplication begging me.
"I like your kinky ****ery," I whisper.”

I mean for fuck's sake.

13-07-2012 10:26PM

I think this might have to go on the kindle just for the craic. I've a flight next week, it might keep me entertained, but I don't want people to actually know I'm reading it!

13-07-2012 10:26PM

Arjun Little Menthol wrote: »

Please don't analyse that "book" like it's real literature. It cheapens the whole medium. Possibly all media.

I'm yet to be convinced that Dan Brown didn't really write it.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 13-07-2012 10:30PM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Again another misconception.

My understanding is that the story was originally written for / published on a message board for fans of the twilight books. It was noticed there, picked up and eventually published. However the fifty shades series has nothing to do with twilight, vampires or whatever else. It just happened to be published within a community who were fans of that series.

Lads go and read the books and then criticise them by all means but don't criticise them based on the assumptions doing the rounds.

pretty sure it was twilight fanfiction but when she realised how popular it was/could be she rewrote it to remove all twilight references and got it published

Pacing Mule · 13-07-2012 10:33PM

Arjun Little Menthol wrote: »

The fact that there are worse novels out there doesn't make this one any better. I mean, here's an extract:

I mean for fuck's sake.

It makes it better than them

The quote itself - yep not quite shakespeare quality. But it's out of context. If that was a story on literotica it would just be that. Within the context of the 50 shades storyline there is a whole exploration of why the kinky stuff was on the agenda in the first place, how it effected Ana (the lady in question) how she was at first disgusted by it and how she came to appreciate some of the world.

Anyway it's beyond ridiculous for me to be on here defending a book

All I ask is you give it a full read.

Potatoeman · 13-07-2012 10:35PM

Read game of thrones instead.

Pacing Mule · 13-07-2012 10:35PM

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

pretty sure it was twilight fanfiction but when she realised how popular it was/could be she rewrote it to remove all twilight references and got it published

If that's the case I of course bow to your greater knowledge of Twilight

I'm not a mad fan of either series so I could well be wrong. The story I read had **** all to do with vampires etc. Actually I'd be interested to read the originals if that was the case.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 13-07-2012 10:37PM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

If that's the case I of course bow to your greater knowledge of Twilight

I'm not a mad fan of either series so I could well be wrong. The story I read had **** all to do with vampires etc. Actually I'd be interested to read the originals if that was the case.

"The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name "Snowqueens Icedragon". The piece featured characters named after Stephenie Meyer's characters in Twilight, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. After comments concerning the sexual nature of the material, James removed the story from the fan-fiction websites and published it on her own website, FiftyShades.com. Later she rewrote Master of the Universe as an original piece, with the principal characters renamed Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and removed it from her website prior to publication.[7] Meyer commented on the series, saying "that's really not my genre, not my thing ... Good on her—she's doing well. That's great!"[8]"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey#Origin_as_fan_fiction

all I know about twilight is that the chick who played the grumpy chick is hot

oh and so is the short haired vampire girl

Ficheall · 13-07-2012 10:44PM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

The quote itself - yep not quite shakespeare quality.

Could you, perhaps, given an example of a well-written section?
I don't have any problem with the book - badly written porn has a place, as does badly acted porn. Fine. But trying to suggest it has some literary merit as a novel is a bit much.
I could say that I think the articles in Playboy are really good and worth reading, but even though Playboy may have millions of fans all over the world, I don't think that many people would be inclined to agree.

(I could be wrong here - I've never actually had a copy of Playboy - pretty much all of my porn ever has come from the internet)

Defiler Of The Coffin · 13-07-2012 10:46PM

Well it has been a rather unseasonably wet month

wandatowell · 13-07-2012 10:51PM

whendovescry wrote: »

Irish 50 shades of grey, courtesy of voteforlee on reddit:

Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.

And what's the jam meant to represent??

Oh wait..................the dirty b@stard

Pantsface · 13-07-2012 10:53PM

"GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!"

*faints*

Pacing Mule · 13-07-2012 11:00PM

Ficheall wrote: »

Could you, perhaps, given an example of a well-written section?
I don't have any problem with the book - badly written porn has a place, as does badly acted porn. Fine. But trying to suggest it has some literary merit as a novel is a bit much.
I could say that I think the articles in Playboy are really good and worth reading, but even though Playboy may have millions of fans all over the world, I don't think that many people would be inclined to agree.

(I could be wrong here - I've never actually had a copy of Playboy - pretty much all of my porn ever has come from the internet)

Not arsed typing a lot of stuff so I found something quoted on tumblr ie no explicit pornography and showing a relationship breaking down ..

He takes another step forward, and I hold up my hands.
“Don’t, please.” I recoil from him. There’s no way I can tolerate his touch now, it will slay me. “I can’t do this.”
Grabbing my suitcase and my backpack, I head for the foyer. He follows me, keeping a careful distance. He presses the elevator button, and the doors open. I climb in.
“Goodbye, Christian,” I murmur.
“Ana, goodbye,” he says softly, and he looks utterly, utterly broken, a man in agonizing pain, reflecting how I feel inside. I tear my gaze away from him before I change my mind and try to comfort him.

I'm not championing it as being worthy of a nobel prize for literature but I do think there is some substance beyond what it is portrayed as.

The_Thing · 13-07-2012 11:01PM

Surely it can't be as bad as the Peig Sayer's book which was on the Irish syllabus for the leaving cert during the 80's?

13-07-2012 11:02PM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Not arsed typing a lot of stuff so I found something quoted on tumblr ie no explicit pornography and showing a relationship breaking down ..

I'm not championing it as being worthy of a nobel prize for literature but I do think there is some substance beyond what it is portrayed as.

TBH I read Dragonball Z fanfiction in the late 90s that had passages better than that.

ejmaztec · 13-07-2012 11:03PM

The_Thing wrote: »

Surely it can't be as bad as the Peig Sayer's book which was on the Irish syllabus for the leaving cert during the 80's?

Peig Does Dingle?

Pantsface · 13-07-2012 11:05PM

ejmaztec wrote: »

Peig Does Dingle?

Was she not on the Blasket Island?

Does the success of '50 Shades Of Grey' prove that every woman loves a bastard?

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