Farting!

Jester252 · 11-07-2012 02:30PM

Don't know how some people can get offended by them.

ElleEm · 11-07-2012 02:34PM

Jester252 wrote: »

Don't know how some people can get offended by them.

I don't get offended by them, I just think it's disgusting to let off a horrible smell around other people.

gobnaitolunacy · 11-07-2012 02:36PM

Mine come in Pot Pourri, Lemon and Alpine Fresh.

Lisandro · 11-07-2012 02:39PM

kfallon wrote: »

My hoop is impeccably clean tyvm....and isn't your nose dirty too??? I mean would you shake hands with someone who just picked their nose?

I would much rather shake hands with someone who has just picked their nose than someone who has had their finger up their anus.

Agricola · 11-07-2012 02:43PM

Only the immediate family, otherwise no way. Was on a packed Luas monday morning after a night on the tear. I was desperate to let rip a big dirty Guinness fart but knew from earlier on that morning that the result would not be pleasant. So I took one for the team and held in it til my stop, at which time I unleashed hell.

kfallon · 11-07-2012 02:45PM

Lisandro wrote: »

I would much rather shake hands with someone who has just picked their nose than someone who has had their finger up their anus.

Yeah but it's a lot more common to find people with a finger up their nose than up their bum? I mean some people clear snot by picking it *shudders* but just cos you need to fart you don't stick a finger up the ould chocolate fudge canal!

Lisandro · 11-07-2012 02:49PM

kfallon wrote: »

Yeah but it's a lot more common to find people with a finger up their nose than up their bum? I mean some people clear snot by picking it *shudders* but just cos you need to fart you don't stick a finger up the ould chocolate fudge canal!

Well, I would still find the odour worse, it's a lot more, you know, mentally penetrating than residues of snot.

B.A._Baracus · 11-07-2012 03:00PM

ElleEm wrote: »

I don't get offended by them, I just think it's disgusting to let off a horrible smell around other people.

It is a rude thing to do in front of random people. :pac:

Its like picking your nose as someone talks to you or burying your hand down your pants, feeling the balls of yourelf while talking to the person at a till :pac:

The word manners comes to mind, lol.

jester77 · 11-07-2012 03:16PM

ElleEm wrote: »

I was standing in a shop earlier and some guy let the loudest fart, and didn't show any remorse for it. He wasn't one tiny bit embarrassed!! He could've held it in and done it out of ear (and nose!) shot of others.

I never fart in front of anyone, although my boyfriend says I let rip something fierce when I'm asleep

I just think farting is an unnecessary thing to share with others.
Do you fart in front of others? Whether it's strangers on the bus, or your partner?

Better out than in. Would have been much worse if he internally combusted and splattered everywhere from holding it in!

ElleEm · 11-07-2012 03:21PM

jester77 wrote: »

Better out than in. Would have been much worse if he internally combusted and splattered everywhere from holding it in!

Ah he would have lived! Sure I spend my days holding farts in and I never exploded.

i71jskz5xu42pb · 11-07-2012 03:26PM

Flatophiles* are in high company

None other than James Joyce wrote:

At every fúck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fúck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fúcked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fúck a farting woman when every fúck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

* May not be a cromulent word

kfallon · 11-07-2012 03:28PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

uch · 11-07-2012 03:37PM

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

A big nice fart, clenses the soul..

And sometimes the Hole

BUBBLE WRAP · 11-07-2012 03:49PM

uch wrote: »

And sometimes the Hole

Try all the time.

Real Life · 11-07-2012 03:54PM

I never fart, i have no hole in my arse

thereitisgone · 11-07-2012 04:03PM

Real Life wrote: »

I never fart, i have no hole in my arse

Your full of sh1t

Muckit · 11-07-2012 04:10PM

I good fart always cheers me up. Sometimes I laugh even when I'm on my own....

Captain Darling · 11-07-2012 04:25PM

ElleEm wrote: »

I just think farting is an unnecessary thing to share with others.
Do you fart in front of others? Whether it's strangers on the bus, or your partner?

Clean out your spanx honey. Sometimes a man has gotten to unload one primed in the chamber.

I was passing through Lucan the other day on the way into town on important company business. Felt like i was going to be caught short so headed into Courtneys to use the well appointed facilities in there.

Nodded to Magda, the cleaner, on the way in and headed straight to stall number one in the gents. Sat down, squeezed off a solid coil off the back board, thick and tubular, no follow through. Grade A bowel movement to be fair.

Mid squeeze, there was a commotion outside and i heard someone burst into stall number two which was followed by a series of farts that could be heard out in the lounge i'd wager. Fcuking fent off it would strip varnish.

I cleaned the towel holder and pulled up my kacks, gave Magda a two euro tip and directed her to the 'war zone' when i was on the way out...

emul8ter25 · 11-07-2012 04:33PM

Kenny vs. Spenny, Season 4 episode 2, "Who can blow the biggest fart"

Funniest thing I have ever seen.

kfallon · 11-07-2012 04:42PM

Captain Darling wrote: »

Clean out your spanx honey. Sometimes a man has gotten to unload one primed in the chamber.

I was passing through Lucan the other day on the way into town on important company business. Felt like i was going to be caught short so headed into Courtneys to use the well appointed facilities in there.

Nodded to Magda, the cleaner, on the way in and headed straight to stall number one in the gents. Sat down, squeezed off a solid coil off the back board, thick and tubular, no follow through. Grade A bowel movement to be fair.

Mid squeeze, there was a commotion outside and i heard someone burst into stall number two which was followed by a series of farts that could be heard out in the lounge i'd wager. Fcuking fent off it would strip varnish.

I cleaned the towel holder and pulled up my kacks, gave Magda a two euro tip and directed her to the 'war zone' when i was on the way out...

You must be one of Flutt's apostles!

skinny90 · 11-07-2012 04:46PM

ya always like your own brand

Ellis Dee · 11-07-2012 04:56PM

The wind of the stomach it comes from the heart
and ignorant people call it a fart.:)

"Better out than your eye", an old aunt of mine always used to say.;);)

I rarely let one rip in public. It's much more fun to squeeze out a silent but deadly one and look straight ahead, completely expressionless, as everyone else around wrinkles their nose and tries to figure out who has "cut their finger".:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Lifts in tall buildings are a great place for that.:D:D

Of course, that guy that supposedly farted in public in Dublin may only have been playing with a "Pooter":

MadYaker · 11-07-2012 05:12PM

blue note · 11-07-2012 05:40PM

I can be terrible for them to be honest. When drinking sometimes I just think "Ah sure it will be grand". And they're usually quiet to be fair, but they are foul! Some have been stomach churning.

Or if I'm sure it's going to be a silent and odourless one I'll just let it out. The only problem here is if I have earphones in I sometimes wonder have these actually been audible and I just think they're silent?

In front of the girlfriend I try to avoid it, but sometimes it just has to be done. The "I thought it was going to be silent" or "I didn't think it would smell" excuses really don't work.

Son Of A Vidic · 11-07-2012 05:47PM

vicwatson wrote: »

Women don't fart, they cough in their knickers

Rubbish, this is what I have to endure nearly everyday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1SjJuUulo

Real Life · 11-07-2012 05:50PM

my friend can make himself fart whenever he wants. when we were in 6th year he used to make himself fart in one of the classes all the time, eventually the teacher got sick of it and kicked him out. he had no maths teacher for the last few months because of his farting.

Shane-KornSpace · 11-07-2012 05:51PM

I always fart in public. No shame. Why should I have any? If we weren't meant to fart, then we wouldnt do it at all.

castletownman · 11-07-2012 05:59PM

Years ago we had our first assembly of the year after coming back from summer holidays. Second year it could have been. Anyway, the whole year was gathered in the school's oratory and I was bursting for a fart but happened to unleash the viliest, loudest and longest one I ever did in public, right at a time when the whole room was silent (similar to the fart during the interview in Step Brothers). I rather nonchantly blamed it on my best friend who was sitting directly beside me.

He got the blame and a look of disguist from all the girls in the year for ages. It was hilarious.

Mickey Dazzler · 11-07-2012 06:04PM

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

BUBBLE WRAP · 11-07-2012 06:07PM

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

Did you partake in these outrages shenanigans? :eek:

Farting!

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