Are you happy or sad you live in the era of bullsh!t?

ThinkAboutIt · 11-07-2012 01:03PM #1

Gone are the days where you say you're just "ok" at something or "can do the job" it's all amazing this, fantastic that, best worker ever. Got to be hugely ambitious not just "working for money" being hugely ambitious to "work for more money"

I just read a job spec for a leaflet job, which read 'must have leaflet distribution experience.' A debt collecter these days is called a "Financial Reporting Agent."

Are you sad that you have to use all these buzz words to get a job rather than tell the truth saying that you're a good worker but 'not the most amazing business man/woman in the world' which can never be proven anyway.

It's all a load of bullsh!t :pac:

Pushtrak · 11-07-2012 01:07PM

Thread of bullsh!t.

lifelongnoob · 11-07-2012 01:07PM

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

Jester252 · 11-07-2012 01:09PM

nobody will go for them jobs if the truth was told

DavyD_83 · 11-07-2012 01:10PM

Does sometimes (very often) seem like the guy who is furthest up his own hole will get the job

LincolnsBeard · 11-07-2012 01:27PM

Better than living in the era where you were automatically factory fodder if you were from a working class family.

mikom · 11-07-2012 01:29PM

LincolnsBeard wrote: »

Better than living in the era where you were automatically factory fodder if you were from a working class family.

You're right, they have interns for that kinda job now..........

aidan24326 · 11-07-2012 01:35PM

'Must have leaflet distribution experience'. How could you even write that in a job spec with a straight face?

It makes me wonder though, what happened to the days of simply being a good honest worker who shows up on time and gets the job done? In reality that's still what's needed and what most companies want for the majority of positions, unless it's something very skilled or highly specialised.

Most of the buzzwords in job specs actually have little relevance to the actual job but yet you have to sit in front of some HR/Recruitment gobsh1te and trot out a load of guff that sits well with whatever silly checklist they're using. When it's the hiring manager who will make the decision anyway (and who may or may not buy into that stuff - hopefully not).

charlemont · 11-07-2012 01:37PM

lifelongnoob wrote: »

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

Leeches and middlemen is all they are, Parasites.

krudler · 11-07-2012 01:38PM

Toilet attendant required, must have toiletry distribution experience, 5 years minimum, micro management and multitasking essential. 13 stage interview required.

christmas2012 · 11-07-2012 01:40PM

job titles can be absolute bull**** yeah,and the way they expect you to waffle on is bull****

Tombi! · 11-07-2012 01:50PM

Ah sure you just go through the retarded and outdated education system, go to college, get told "fúck off to another country and get experience and then come home and work".

It's a great life.

Sleepy · 11-07-2012 01:51PM

It's because the girls in HR are the ones that weren't pretty or connected enough to get jobs in PR or marketing.

They're usually the ones that failed accounting or economics in the first year of their business degree because figuring out earnings before interest, taxation and profit was too difficult to work out if the question deviated in any way from the ones they'd done in class.

I share a degree with many of these morons and hated them during my time in college. They were the reason the B.Comm spend 3 years covering a year's worth of material in scant or little detail and with next to zero critical analysis of any of the concepts or ideologies on the courses. They're the proof that not everyone is suited to university level education and thirty years ago would simply have done secretarial courses or gotten jobs in the local factory.

(I realise I've written the post as if all those I'm speaking of are female, they're not in the slightest, plenty of guys out there who are just as guilty of all the above, HR just tends to be more dominantly female).

Micky Dolenz · 11-07-2012 01:52PM

I'd have rather lived in era of the dinosaur. That'd be well cool.

Sea Filly · 11-07-2012 01:56PM

lifelongnoob wrote: »

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

+ 1

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

Call me uptight, but I don't want someone saying that to me 10 minutes after we've met! :eek:

aidan24326 · 11-07-2012 02:02PM

Sea Filly wrote: »

+ 1

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

Call me uptight, but I don't want someone saying that to me 10 minutes after we've met! :eek:

The wording was a bit inappropriate alright! Not to mention the fact that it's none of his business what other agencies you do or don't deal with.

Gurgle · 11-07-2012 02:04PM

Sea Filly wrote: »

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

... I'm your only pimp, bitch!

lifelongnoob · 11-07-2012 02:04PM

the good news is that most employer's are starting to cop on to how crap Recruitment agencies are... the sad bit is now they just get free interns to do the work

Stiffler2 · 11-07-2012 02:41PM

It's not too bad OP, you just have to amend your cv to reflect the marketplace.

currently I'm a nasa engineer with moon experience

kart · 11-07-2012 02:43PM

Asking experience in the kind of jobs that need absolutely no experience at all is ridiculous. I am working in a job where experience was needed, yet we are getting full training and the length of it is same for experienced and non-experienced as every company uses different systems. So it really is just a bull**** to ask for experience when it is clearly not needed.

Or to ask for really long experience in things that would do as well with less. Lately i heard ad in radio saying, deli assistant needed, 3-5 years experience. I have worked in supermarkets and shops before and occasionally had do do that part as well. there is nothing in there that a person with 3 years experience would do better than a one with 2 month experience.

Its all down to ur will to work.
Same with leaflet distribution. Anyone with will can do it. Nothing to do with experience. These things really are bull****.

Or door-to-door jobs that advertise asking for experience in it. The hell.

token101 · 11-07-2012 02:51PM

Asking for experience is just like asking for someone that will stick out the job for more than 5 minutes and won't just quit the first morning. 'Lower' skilled jobs attract such a volume of applications that experience is way of vetting totally speculative applications.

And recruitment agencies are growing, employers are copping on that hiring can be a lot of hassle and paying someone else to do it is a lot less of a headache.

Gurgle · 11-07-2012 02:53PM

Stiffler2 wrote: »

currently I'm a nasa engineer with moon experience

Stiffler2?, Yes I clearly recall going on several trips to the moon with him. Perfect choice Mr Branson.

(Always have someone to back up your story)

Biggins · 11-07-2012 02:54PM

ThinkAboutIt wrote: »

...I just read a job spec for a leaflet job, which read 'must have leaflet distribution experience.' A debt collecter these days is called a "Financial Reporting Agent."

Are you sad that you have to use all these buzz words to get a job rather than tell the truth saying that you're a good worker but 'not the most amazing business man/woman in the world' which can never be proven anyway.

It's all a load of bullsh!t :pac:

Try applying for an 'Optical Cleansing Assistant'.

(a window-cleaner)

Tell them you have loads of ladders!

JustAddWater · 11-07-2012 02:57PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I'd have rather lived in era of the dinosaur. That'd be well cool.

Previous experience with flux capacitor distribution essential

Micky Dolenz · 11-07-2012 02:59PM

Biggins wrote: »

Try applying for an 'Optical Cleansing Assistant'.
(a window-cleaner)
Tell them you have loads of ladders!

I hear the work is very up and down.

lifelongnoob · 11-07-2012 03:04PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I hear the work is very up and down.

careful or you might end up rubbing them up the wrong way

forfuxsake · 11-07-2012 03:04PM

Antique Mirror Polisher - Now there's a job I could see myself doing.

Micky Dolenz · 11-07-2012 03:05PM

antique knob polisher- Prostitute who works at an old folks home :P

lifelongnoob · 11-07-2012 03:08PM

chicken sexer - must have keen eyesight and good knowledge of fowl genitalia, now i wonder if being a gynacologist is considered over qualified???

BillyMitchel · 11-07-2012 03:16PM

I applied for a bin man job once. The manager told me it was easy that no training would be provided that I'll pick it up as I go along..

Hercule Poirot · 11-07-2012 03:27PM

Spent 18 months unemployed after college, realised (through a friend) that I was being too honest. When asked to describe myself I would use phrases like"nothing spectacular, a decent, honest hard worker" - failed 9 interviews from phrases such as that one. When I started using "excellent analytical skills, great at organising duties, etc, etc." I felt like such a fraud but feck it, I've been working for three years now. Although I'm worried they might find me out soon!

Are you happy or sad you live in the era of bullsh!t?

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