How to deal with not-so-friendly neighbour?

BillyMitchel · 05-07-2012 02:25AM

Oscorp wrote: »

rogieop wrote: »

i was indeed taking the mickey, you did the right thing on the bus. no question.

But seriously, you should have made a stand with the can situation. that could do damage.

I know where you're coming from re size etc but i have absolutely no respect for junkies, they dont have a punch in them either. if you let a junkie walk all over you how do you expect to get on in life?

If he does anything again put it up to him. and be confident, guarantee you he'll back off and shout stuff as he walks away. worst comes to worst you'll take a beating, so what, your not the first and wont be the last and at least then if you want you can go to the guards.

Once you've done this, whatever the outcome you will feel a lot better for it.

And dont ever forget "its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog"

He wasn't the scrawny, gaunt, vacant type of junkie though. He was quite big. And again, if I react in future, I'd be wary that he'd smash the windows of my parents house or something, just because I reacted. He's only 10 houses away.

I'm pretty confident he has no clue who I am and that I live on his street, and that he would've thrown that can at anyone walking by, such was his state. I think he may just have had an arguement with his missus, and was venting the way scummers do. She did look upset.

I'll just leave it be and see what unfolds.

So the two time this altercation took place he didn't know it was you both times?

Wouldn't say it's much to worry about OP but if he's outside again and you're walking past and he gives abit of abuse it's probably best you walk past your house if you're heading that direction. You don't want idiots like that near your house especially with folks there but if you live in a cul de sc just chin him and say "I'm top dog of this road". Clowns like this their bark is always worse than their bite.

Thelonious · 05-07-2012 02:28AM

MInd your own business and leave that man alone.

Oscorp · 05-07-2012 02:30AM

BillyMitchel wrote: »

So the two time this altercation took place he didn't know it was you both times?

Wouldn't say it's much to worry about OP but if he's outside again and you're walking past and he gives abit of abuse it's probably best you walk past your house if you're heading that direction. You don't want idiots like that near your house especially with folks there but if you live in a cul de sc just chin him and say "I'm top dog of this road". Clowns like this their bark is always worse than their bite.

It's the only two times we've ever encountered each other. A month between the two instances and he actually threw the can at us when we were slightly past his garden. He wasn't looking at us when we walking by (as far as I'm aware, I wasn't looking either!), he appeared to have been pacing up and down his garden beforehand. Once he realised someone walked by he flung it, so I reckon he didn't recognise me and that he would've threw it at anyone

Good advice, I did make sure not to walk into the garden incase he was watching.

[Jackass] · 05-07-2012 02:31AM

I'd say leave it for now, but if there's another incident, I'd definitely confront him. The thing is, when someone tries to intimidate you or whatever, the more they get away with, the worse they'll get. Next time you see him, if he passes a comment or whatever, I'd stop and say to him "this is the 3rd time now, what's the problem? I've never talked to you in my life, I'm your neighbour, what's the deal?". He'll more than likely go on a rant and when he does I'd just say here mate fu*k off, and walk away, if he shouts threats after you just say yeah yeah. I'd say stand up to him to an extent, without actually escolating it, but I would let the fuc*ker know I'm not scared of him and that any more sh*t could turn out badly for him.*

* N.B. only if you know you could take him if worst came to worst.

Obviously don't look for a fight, but if he went for you, don't antagonise him if in all likelyhood he'd hammer you. He's so wasted half the time anyway, that if he did attack you, putting him on his arse could sort it all out. Only in self defence ever though. You have a right to defend yourself.

Oscorp · 05-07-2012 02:36AM

[Jackass] wrote: »

I'd say leave it for now, but if there's another incident, I'd definitely confront him. The thing is, when someone tries to intimidate you or whatever, the more they get away with, the worse they'll get. Next time you see him, if he passes a comment or whatever, I'd stop and say to him "this is the 3rd time now, what's the problem? I've never talked to you in my life, I'm your neighbour, what's the deal?". He'll more than likely go on a rant and when he does I'd just say here mate fu*k off, and walk away, if he shouts threats after you just say yeah yeah. I'd say stand up to him to an extent, without actually excolating it, but I would let the fuc*ker know I'm not scared of him and that any more sh*t could turn out badly for him.*

* N.B. only if you know you could take him if worst came to worst. Obviously don't look for a fight, but if he went for you, don't antagonise him if in all likelyhood he'd hammer you. He's so wasted half the time anyway, that if he did attack you, putting him on his arse could sort it all out. Only in self defence ever though. You have a right to defend yourself.

I seriously doubt I could take him, unless he was strung out.

The thing is, walking home from the bus when he was making those feint runs at me, I didn't flinch at all and laughed. Not at him and not in a mocking way, but just to show I wasn't taking it serious and show my bemusement and the thing is he got cheery said he was only messing and wished me a good night!

BillyMitchel · 05-07-2012 02:39AM

Oscorp wrote: »

BillyMitchel wrote: »

So the two time this altercation took place he didn't know it was you both times?

Wouldn't say it's much to worry about OP but if he's outside again and you're walking past and he gives abit of abuse it's probably best you walk past your house if you're heading that direction. You don't want idiots like that near your house especially with folks there but if you live in a cul de sc just chin him and say "I'm top dog of this road". Clowns like this their bark is always worse than their bite.

It's the only two times we've ever encountered each other. A month between the two instances and he actually threw the can at us when we were slightly past his garden. He wasn't looking at us when we walking by (as far as I'm aware, I wasn't looking either!), he appeared to have been pacing up and down his garden beforehand. Once he realised someone walked by he flung it, so I reckon he didn't recognise me and that he would've threw it at anyone

Good advice, I did make sure not to walk into the garden incase he was watching.

Just be extra careful if the misses is there too, especially if his gf is a bit of a skank. One look from your gf to his and all hell could break lose. Woman can be worse than men in situations like this. Pieces of crap like this tosser are getting away with far to much these days.

[Jackass] · 05-07-2012 02:40AM

In that case, just ignore, ignore, ignore.

B.A._Baracus · 05-07-2012 02:41AM

Awkward situation, op.
You've got a right scumbag bollix for a neighbour.

On one hand, you should say something to him. Simply, "what the fu*k is your problem!" - Stand your ground. He sounds like a 'shaper' too. Probably nothing behind him.

Whilst on the other hand, who wants further agro. Because he is a scumbag. Its happened thousands of times where a scumbag gets rightfully told off by a neighbour... and only for said scumbag to try and make that persons life a living hell. Putting a brick through your sitting room window. smashing your car window...trying to rob your place. you name it someone has gone through it.

But you got to stand your ground. If you don't it'll get worse.

Duck's hoop · 05-07-2012 02:42AM

I don't believe this story.

But if true, you should borrow your old man's 5 iron (I'm sure he has one), and swing by the miscreant's abode, politely requesting he desists from manually propelling semi-ingested cans of lager at your bonce.

He'll understand that.

Oscorp · 05-07-2012 02:48AM

Duck's hoop wrote: »

I don't believe this story.

But if true, you should borrow your old man's 5 iron (I'm sure he has one), and swing by the miscreant's abode, politely requesting he desists from manually propelling semi-ingested cans of lager at your bonce.

He'll understand that.

Why not? If I was telling porkies for a laugh I'd like to think I could come up with something better than a big bold man throwing a can at me. It sounds so mundane I was almost not going to create the thread.

Duck's hoop · 05-07-2012 03:04AM

Did you create an account just to ask in AH for advice on this (alleged) ne'er do well?

Haven't you sought counsel IRL?

Has no one else on your road remarked on this ruffian?

ferretone · 05-07-2012 03:06AM

I've more tended to frequent the pets section around here, and it's almost funny how much this resembles threads complaining about people's out of control dogs threatening boardsies or their dogs and kids as they pass!

And perhaps the ways of dealing with it aren't that different either. With the dogs I advise (short of getting the owners to restrain them, often not present, as in this case!), giving them a fright rather than actually threatening injury with injury, as in compressed air or a handful of fine gravel thrown.

So perhaps both you and gf could carry pepper spray, and be prepared to use if things escalate. After all, he is a yobbo and you are a civilised person, so I wouldn't be too bothered that spray is a thing for girls. It's not. Avoiding coming to blows is how a civilised person proceeds, as they don't think with their, eh, nether equipment. But don't particularly want to be left having their butt kicked either.

If he doesn't bother you again, you never need to pay him any attention either. But if he ever threatens with violence, you have a contingency plan. Just my 2 cent.

Oscorp · 05-07-2012 03:09AM

Duck's hoop wrote: »

Did you create an account just to ask in AH for advice on this (alleged) ne'er do well?

Haven't you sought counsel IRL?

Has no one else on your road remarked on this ruffian?

Created the account three or four days ago, long time lurker.

Bar from my gf, no I haven't.

Not to me anyway, although what my elderly neighbours say to each other over cups of tea I don't know.

Duck's hoop · 05-07-2012 03:13AM

Pepper spray's a restricted weapon of sorts. Not legal.

If you gas him he can have you in court. Better off with the golf bat. And some tartan trews.

Mance Rayder · 05-07-2012 03:16AM

Leave the scumbag to his own devices, give people like that enough rope and they will hang themselves.

Mance Rayder · 05-07-2012 03:17AM

Duck's hoop wrote: »

Pepper spray's a restricted weapon of sorts. Not legal.

If you gas him he can have you in court. Better off with the golf bat. And some tartan trews.

Pepper sprays considered a firearm in this country. Deap heat spray however is legal and burns like fook when sprayed in the eyes. Not that I am suggesting anything here.

Oscorp · 05-07-2012 03:23AM

Thanks for all your advice anyway. I'm just going to let it be. The chances of it being personal are quite low as I doubt he had the capacity to remember me from the bus, and besides, he ended that instance wishing me well. We were most likely just in the wrong place at the wrong time tonight.

ferretone · 05-07-2012 03:24AM

Duck's hoop wrote: »

Pepper spray's a restricted weapon of sorts. Not legal.

If you gas him he can have you in court. Better off with the golf bat. And some tartan trews.

Fair enough so. Guess the rogue dog issue is a lot simpler. Can't believe people get up on their high horse about how dogs "have more rights than people" in this state so.

Shame it's not so simple to get this guy restricted from holding beer cans in public! One thing I would say, if op is forced to pass the scumbag in his front garden again, at least turn on video cam on his phone before approaching, and hold it down surreptitiously at hip level pointing at him. That way, if he tries anything, he will be documented doing it.

JyesusChrist · 05-07-2012 03:32AM

Learn self defense. If (god forbid) something happens you can at least protect yourself. This guy seems like the kind of person who, no matter what you do will just want to start on you.

sbsquarepants · 05-07-2012 09:26AM

Take it from me there are only 2 ways of dealing with wankbags like this.

1. Ignore him and hope he goes away, he may or he may not. He's already caused you trouble twice though so i'm coming down on the may not side of the fence here

2. Play him at his own game - next time he gives you grief, kick the shít out of him, if he's as drunk as you reckon it shouldn't be too much of an effort.

Either way if he's out to torment you, he's going to torment you so you might as well get the satisfaction of giving him a few slaps!

listermint · 05-07-2012 09:33AM

Why not just murder him and hang his lifeless body from the overpass, thats how the mexicans handle these things.

*apologies to the mexicans for a generalisation

05-07-2012 09:39AM

I see no value in any kind of confrontation. Certainly not to impress your GF as one user suggested. I have studied a few kinds of martial arts traditions and some forms of meditation and the like. The one message running through them all is that conflict avoidance is the best self defence. Those studying Karate for example will often tell you that you learn to fight so you never have to.

Further it sounds like this druggie barely remembers anything from day to day. You cant "teach him a lesson" because whether you kick his ass today, or him yours, he will likely forget by this time next week anyway and will have learned nothing.

Posturing and masculine displys of dominance and territory are for the other animals, not people. Be ready to defend yourself if required but other than that be the bigger man here and let it slide.

All that said there may be some usefullness is opening a dialouge with the other neighbours to see if they know more about this person and his behaviour. There is also use in making them aware of what has happened to you so they can be vigilant. It may also be worth approaching the police. They do not have to call around to him and you can specifically request that they do not. Just make it clear to them you want it on record that there is a problem here. Should it ever escalate and they get called out they will have your report on file to refer to later to go "Oh yes, this guy highlighted this before".

El Guapo! · 05-07-2012 09:44AM

Let it go for now and try to avoid him if you can.
If it happens again though you'll have to stand up for yourself and knock the bollox out of him.
If you continue to let him pick on you, you'll be an easy target and it'll only get worse.

Dyr · 05-07-2012 09:49AM

So are ye gonna batter him or wha'?

Also, report to the gardee, in fear for your safety etc, be sure to mention the assault with the can. The coppers are'nt gonna do anything but you've primed them for any nastiness that follows.

Nothingbetter2d · 05-07-2012 09:58AM

Oscorp wrote: »

About a month ago I was getting the last bus home from town and I comitted the cardinal sin of sitting up top. A couple got on shortly after me and sat two or three rows behind me. They were p!ssed drunk and continued to drink cans on the bus. The bloke, with several missing teeth and that typical Dublin junkie look, was doing his best to wind me up and/or intimidate me in an attempt to amuse his girlfriend. Most of it was harmless incomprehensible BS (what with his toothless drunken slurring) so it didn't bother me.

Then when it came to my stop I got off, and so did they. As I was walking the short distance to my house the bloke made two or three feint runs at me as if he was going to attack me, presuambly to make me flinch. I didn't react whatsoever and he then said "ah sure I'm only messing with ya bud" and then wishing me a good night before turning into a house on my road. I had never seen the bloke before and there's only 16 houses on my road so I guess he must be a newly moved in neighbour.

I hadn't seen him since, 'till tonight when he for no reason threw an almost full can of Budweiser at me and my girlfirend as we were walking by his garden and then saying "I'll bounce that off your f*cking head." Luckily he missed my head by a few inches. He made to run over to us, face red and veins pulsing, but his girlfriend/wife had to restrain him. We didn't say anything and walked on.

I'm fairly certain he doesn't actually know I live on the same road, and I'm not sure he recognised me at all from that time on the bus. He really has been utterly hammered the two times I've encountered him, he's probably forgotten all about tonight too.

It does bother me though, that I have a neighbour who has no qualms about throwing a largely full beer can at a young couple walking down the street in broad day light and then trying to do worse, all while unprovoked.

I was thinking of knocking in tomorrow morning to ask him what is problem is, or has he mistaken me for someone he mislikes, but I can't imagine he would respond too well to that. Anyway, that could just serve to remind him of me or alert him to the fact I'm his neighbour. Calling the Guards wouldn't be of much use and if they did knock in to have a word with him a brick would probably come through my window. He does rent the place but I can't see how I'd contact the owner.

Would I be best just to continue to ignore him and walk on by at any future instances?

TL;DR: Best solution to dealing with scummy neighbour?

find out who his landlord is then phone the landlord and say that they guy is selling heroin from the house... watch landlord evict him.

jcf · 05-07-2012 10:07AM

whatever you do don't call to his house, idiots like that can't be reasoned with - and it will just fuel the situation more.

Ignore + avoid him.

admiralofthefleet · 05-07-2012 10:24AM

we have an extremely rude and dangerous neighbour in terenure, we just put her on ignore. does her head in because she is very very nosy, and not knowing what we are up to drives her mad

FizzleSticks · 05-07-2012 10:27AM

This post has been deleted.

mikemac1 · 05-07-2012 10:31AM

Same in Ballyfermot ^^^^^

If you walk around and look like someone who won't do anything back you can get cans, bottles and abuse thrown your way

Soon enough they'll know you to see you. They don't know your name or anything about you but they know you're a target

smash · 05-07-2012 10:33AM

Hide some crack cocaine in his garden and call the cops saying you saw him burying something!

How to deal with not-so-friendly neighbour?

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