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Does The Naked Man Work?

  • 23-06-2012 05:27PM
    #1
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭


    I've always wanted to try this on a first date....
    The Naked Man:

    "You're on a first date. You've had a few drinks. You make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment. Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs. She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado, she sleeps with you. Boom! It works two out of three times. You just have to pick your spot. The Naked Man is best used as last resort. Kind of a Hail Mary on a first date when you know there's not going to be a second one."

    anyone ever done it/think it could work? :pac:


«134

Comments

  • #2
    Mance Rayder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭Mance Rayder


    Or she calls the police.


  • #3
    The Big Red Button
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    srm23 wrote: »
    I've always wanted to try this on a first date....

    I thought you did, last night?

    So, tell us about it? Was it all you hoped it would be, and more?


  • #4
    flutterflye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    srm23 wrote: »
    I've always wanted to try this on a first date....



    anyone ever done it/think it could work? :pac:

    I think if you end up in her house late after a night out, it's pretty much a given that you're getting the sexy time.
    Unless you fcuk up massively and do something stupid like in the op there - in which case, she may give you a pity shag or she may not.


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,909 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Someone's been watching How I Met Your Mother.


  • #6
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,983 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    You`d look like a dick.


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  • #7
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    flutterflye wrote: »
    I think if you end up in her house late after a night out, it's pretty much a given that you're getting the sexy time.
    Unless you fcuk up massively and do something stupid like in the op there - in which case, she may give you a pity shag or she may not.

    No well its more when its not going well, you haven't been invited up.
    but you make an excuse for needing to get in the door like to use the toilet or something.
    then once she leaves the room...boom!


  • #8
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    chatterpillar wrote: »
    I thought you did, last night?

    So, tell us about it? Was it all you hoped it would be, and more?

    I'd say you would love it ;)


  • #9
    flutterflye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    srm23 wrote: »
    No well its more when its not going well, you haven't been invited up.
    but you make an excuse for needing to get in the door like to use the toilet or something.
    then once she leaves the room...boom!

    Oh god!
    Then obvious answer here is no!!
    No chance in hell would that ever work!


  • #10
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    flutterflye wrote: »
    Oh god!
    Then obvious answer here is no!!
    No chance in hell would that ever work!

    works two out of three times apparently


  • #11
    Ellis Dee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Ellis Dee


    What will you do if she just points at your willy and breaks into hysterical giggles, saying: "Jaysus, that looks just like a cock, only smaller!":):):):rolleyes::rolleyes:


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  • #12
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 36,397 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Someone's been watching How I Met Your Mother.

    Someone hasn't been watching Seinfeld.


  • #13
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    Ellis Dee wrote: »
    What will you do if she just points at your willy and breaks into hysterical giggles, saying: "Jaysus, that looks just like a cock, only smaller!":):):):rolleyes::rolleyes:

    thats half the battle, to disarm her with humour. see the first part of the OP "she laughs". Then she is charmed by the confidence shown to do it


  • #14
    keano_afc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,713 ✭✭✭keano_afc


    Guy I used to work with did it once. She laughed at him and threw him out. Monday morning it was all over the office. He really should have thought it through, considering they worked together.


  • #15
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    If a smooch and a "shall we take this to the bedroom?" isnt going to work then looking like a pervert certainly isnt.

    Only reason it would work is if she was gonna ride ya anyway. Which makes it rather unnecessary. All your doing is running the risk of scaring her, embarrassing yourself or getting the nickname the pervert.


  • #16
    Sar_Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,555 ✭✭✭Sar_Bear


    A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.


  • #17
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    Sar_Bear wrote: »
    A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

    If the girl isnt a fat mess then your friend is as bent as a dogs hind leg.


  • #18
    Sar_Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,555 ✭✭✭Sar_Bear


    LordSmeg wrote: »
    If the girl isnt a fat mess then your friend is as bent as a dogs hind leg.

    He's not, she's just a whole pile of crazy stalker.


  • #19
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    I'd rather set my balls on fire tbh.


  • #20
    coco_lola
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭coco_lola


    srm23 wrote: »
    works two out of three times apparently

    You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

    *facepalm*


  • #21
    Sar_Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,555 ✭✭✭Sar_Bear


    coco_lola wrote: »
    You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

    *facepalm*

    Pretty sure that was a joke...


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  • #22
    Ficheall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 9,067 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Chuck Stone wrote: »
    I'd rather set my balls on fire tbh.

    I can't see that one working either, tbh.
    Would you advocate the "Quick! We need to cut off the fire's oxygen supply - lend me a moist orifice!" follow-up?


  • #23
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    coco_lola wrote: »
    You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

    *facepalm*

    hmmmm...something tells me the naked man might work on you.


  • #24
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    LordSmeg wrote: »
    "shall we take this to the bedroom?"

    I find saying that to a girl more sleazy than the naked man.


  • #25
    Bobby1984
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 269 ✭✭Bobby1984


    srm23 wrote: »
    works two out of three times apparently


    they've done studies you know ....... it works 60% of the time, every time :D


  • #26
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    More likely to get you arrested, I would have thought!

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #27
    Alter-Ego
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »
    You`d look like a dick.
    ...And then she looks at yours.


  • #28
    ArtyM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,880 ✭✭✭ArtyM


    What you failed to mention is that the 1 out of three times it doesnt work will very likely involve pepper spray, arrest warrants, stabby kitchen knives, and inclusion to that elite club - registered sex offenders.


  • #29
    Scioch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭Scioch


    srm23 wrote: »
    I find saying that to a girl more sleazy than the naked man.

    How in the fcuk can you find that more sleazy ? Its a non too pushy way of asking if she wants to get more physical. It states your intentions but gives her control without putting her under pressure. Stripping naked when she leaves the room is a borderline criminal offence. There is nothing about it that isnt sleazy.


  • #30
    Organic Cavity
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 70 ✭✭Organic Cavity


    tried it once, she laughed. :o


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  • #31
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Sar_Bear wrote: »
    A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

    Did she have a hairy arse?


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