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Anyone feeling Polyamorous?

13

Comments

  • #62
    Doylers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,699 ✭✭✭Doylers


    Christ what ever happened threesomes, perfect solution


  • #63
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    If you could see the reality of polyamourous relationships from all sides you would see there are very unhappy people in that relationship who dont feel they are getting the full attention of one partner..


  • #64
    Splinter
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Splinter


    then why is that the fault of the other people in that relationship? the unhappy person can walk away


  • #65
    Lucca Hissing Restaurant
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Lucca Hissing Restaurant


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    If you could see the reality of polyamourous relationships from all sides you would see there are very unhappy people in that relationship who dont feel they are getting the full attention of one partner..

    If you could wake up and stop pretending you know everything because of one bad experience, we'd get somewhere


  • #66
    Hardonraging
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,641 ✭✭✭Hardonraging


    I'd do it as long as i was the spare man, not the main guy in the relationship
    ..

    And Tbh sure when she's sleeping with other lads, ye might as well knock out a 3 or a 4 way while ye are at it .. might settle her a bit tho ..

    Idk who the 13 people are who would be game, but if ye are all chicks, fair play ..


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  • #67
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    As for morals they are seriously lacking,and i reserve the right to judge anybody who conducts themselves in such a low fashion,such as being in a polyamourous relationship..
    There's nothing morally wrong with polyamory, nor socially wrong either. Nobody is being hurt, everyone is a consenting adult, even those against things like drugs could surely not have a problem. Its something of a social taboo, if anyone is nosey enough to sniff after what others are doing in bed and uneducated enough get outraged about it

    I know and have known a few "alternative" relationship people and to be honest its a rocky road unless you're willing to let the love in a relationship overwhelm the jealousy. There's all the usual personality conflict stuff too, but they usually approach these things with caution, one step at a time.

    At its best it treats sex like a sport, which it is, and brings the relationship to new levels. At its worst its just kinky lust, which isn't too bad, or someone trying to move in on a relationship, which is pretty bad. I would call it an enlightened way of looking at things, if done in good faith.

    I don't believe we are hardwired for monogamy, if we were then marital infidelity and divorce rates would be much, much lower.


  • #68
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    Its this bull**** of consenting adults, ive seen women in polyamourous relationships and i have to say they are nothing short of brainwashed,they have this mantra drummed into them,i notice as well that certain people who practice polyamoury seem to have a narrow reportaire and narrow view on life,even though they have this open and free bull**** attitude..its disgusting

    Jelousy is part of human nature,you cannot switch it all off otherwise youre like a brainwashed robot but then again maybe thats the point..repeat what your cult leader says..


  • #69
    Splinter
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Splinter


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    Its this bull**** of consenting adults, ive seen women in polyamourous relationships and i have to say they are nothing short of brainwashed,they have this mantra drummed into them,i notice as well that certain people who practice polyamoury seem to have a narrow reportaire and narrow view on life,even though they have this open and free bull**** attitude..its disgusting

    Jelousy is part of human nature,you cannot switch it all off otherwise youre like a brainwashed robot but then again maybe thats the point..repeat what your cult leader says..
    I've seen women and men in Monogamous relationships exactly the same, i suppose i should feel disgusted by that too :)


  • #70
    Lucca Hissing Restaurant
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Lucca Hissing Restaurant


    First it was "I saw a docu on it once", then it was "I had a cousin in one once", now it's "I've seen women in them"
    hmmm?

    If you don't like it, don't do it


  • #71
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    Lets not be coy about this there is always an instigator in the role of polyamourous relationships..


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  • #72
    Lucca Hissing Restaurant
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Lucca Hissing Restaurant


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    Lets not be coy about this there is always an instigator in the role of polyamourous relationships..

    Is this based on your vast experience of "I saw a docu on it once" or "I had a cousin in one once"?


  • #73
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    Jelousy is part of human nature,you cannot switch it all off otherwise youre like a brainwashed robot but then again maybe thats the point..repeat what your cult leader says..
    Sure you can switch it off. I might get pissed off at a bad driver on the road but I don't follow them home and start roaring at them.

    Control of our destructive emotions is part of what makes us human, rather than animals. Jealousy is such a destructive emotion. Lust is not, neither is love. The more control you have, the better a person you are, usually.


  • #74
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    ''Sure you can switch it off. I might get pissed off at a bad driver on the road but I don't follow them home and start roaring at them.''

    Thats not the same thing,bad analogy..


  • #75
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    Lions in the animal kingdom are polyamourous its very much about greed,ego and jelousy,and territory..


  • #76
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    ''Sure you can switch it off. I might get pissed off at a bad driver on the road but I don't follow them home and start roaring at them.''

    Thats not the same thing,bad analogy..
    No, rage is a destructive emotion too. Same thing. Note there is a difference between controlling jealousy and not having self respect, but its not hard to recognise the difference between the two.
    christmas2012 wrote: »
    Lions in the animal kingdom are polyamourous its very much about greed,ego and jelousy,and territory..
    We are not lions, we are not dogs, we are not cats nor fish. We are humans and that makes us very unique in many ways, not least of which is sexually.


  • #77
    Lucca Hissing Restaurant
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Lucca Hissing Restaurant


    documentary, cousin, lions

    this is getting better


  • #78
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    Doc Ruby wrote: »
    We are not lions, we are not dogs, we are not cats nor fish. We are humans and that makes us very unique in many ways, not least of which is sexually.

    We are unique i agree with that,but when one conducts him or indeed herself in a polyamourous relationship,they are submitting to their lower self,their baser instincts such as greed,ego,territory,and lust..

    We have a higher form of intelligence and we have a heightened awarneness of what the impact of what we are doing is,so that makes it morally wrong..


  • #79
    Lucca Hissing Restaurant
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Lucca Hissing Restaurant


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    We are unique i agree with that,but when one conducts him or indeed herself in a polyamourous relationship,they are submitting to their lower self,their baser instincts such as greed,ego,territory,and lust..

    http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wikipedian_protester.png


  • #80
    johngalway
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,271 ✭✭✭✭johngalway


    Doc wrote: »
    So what are your opinions on polyanimorus relationships?

    Fine if it works for other people, it certainly ain't for me though.


  • #81
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    We are unique i agree with that,but when one conducts him or indeed herself in a polyamourous relationship,they are submitting to their lower self,their baser instincts such as greed,ego,territory,and lust..
    Well you're making a couple of mistakes here. First is classifying "lust" as a baser instinct, I don't agree with that.

    Second you are making the assumption that all of these relationships must perforce involve a high degree of mental manipulation or abuse, with one dominant person lording it over the others, I suppose because its so unusual, so something must be wrong. In my experience this is far from the truth, there is usually less of that in poly relationships since there's more perspective.

    That's not to say it doesn't happen, socially or religiously enforced polygyny as the Mormons in the US were doing was outlawed for a very good reason, that was some abusive stuff.
    christmas2012 wrote: »
    We have a higher form of intelligence and we have a heightened awarneness of what the impact of what we are doing is,so that makes it morally wrong..
    Its that very attribute of higher intelligence that allows us to truly enjoy the many nuances of sexuality far more than any animal. Your mind is your biggest sexual organ, whats wrong with using it to celebrate your sexuality?


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  • #82
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    We are unique i agree with that,but when one conducts him or indeed herself in a polyamourous relationship,they are submitting to their lower self,their baser instincts such as greed,ego,territory,and lust..

    We have a higher form of intelligence and we have a heightened awarneness of what the impact of what we are doing is,so that makes it morally wrong..

    You're coming across as someone I wouldn't trust in a monogamous relationship, never mind any other kind. Why so hostile? How is it greedy or territorial to share your partner with someone? Can you tell us why you think it's wrong? What are you basing your claims on? Bible? A bitter past experience, or one of a friend who got burned? What makes you so dead set against it?


  • #83
    christmas2012
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭christmas2012


    The spread of stds due to lax pracitices in relationships,and polyamourous relationships it makes it even worse..would be one of many reasons..


  • #84
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    What about the poly relationships where everyone's careful? You can't catch an STD off someone who doesn't have one. Are you still dead set against them?


  • #85
    28064212
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,054 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    The spread of stds due to lax pracitices in relationships,and polyamourous relationships it makes it even worse..would be one of many reasons..
    Polyamourous relationships make up, at a stretch, maybe 0.001% of all relationships in the country. How exactly are they contributing to the rise in STDs? Which contributes more to this problem, a polyamourous relationship between a set of adults who practice safes sex and are exclusive to each other, or someone monogamous who jumps from one relationship to the next without even thinking about STDs?

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  • #86
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    The spread of stds due to lax pracitices in relationships,and polyamourous relationships it makes it even worse..would be one of many reasons..
    The polyamorous are typically as likely to go off with other people as any normal couple, ie not really. I'd agree that more people could do with using condoms, education is a big part of that, but there's no link between that and polyamory.

    Its just a different way of looking at the world, one not in line with the sorry conservatism western society is slowly heaving itself out of.

    Did you know there are entire schools of yogic discipline related to sexual practices? Those lads could teach anyone a thing or two! That's using your noodle.


  • #87
    Ciaran0
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 213 ✭✭Ciaran0


    I'd definitely give that type thing a go if the I had the opportunity :D I thought most guys would love that? freedom to be with in a relationship and still be allowed to pursue other endeavours


  • #88
    Bad Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭Bad Panda


    Doc Ruby wrote: »
    No, rage is a destructive emotion too. Same thing. Note there is a difference between controlling jealousy and not having self respect, but its not hard to recognise the difference between the two.

    Channelled correctly, rage/anger can result in positive, powerful results.

    Some doctor you are! :pac:


  • #89
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Ciaran0 wrote: »
    I'd definitely give that type thing a go if the I had the opportunity :D I thought most guys would love that? freedom to be with in a relationship and still be allowed to pursue other endeavours

    There's a difference between being polyamorous and being a manwhore.


  • #90
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    christmas2012 wrote: »
    The spread of stds due to lax pracitices in relationships,and polyamourous relationships it makes it even worse..would be one of many reasons..

    I am certainly open to hearing how you think my relationship, described in earlier posts, has got anything to do with territory, greed, ego or in any way affects STD vectors.

    Your issue appears to be with promiscuity and unsafe sex - and I doubt many people here would disagree with you if that were so as sex is something we should practice safely - with awareness of the risks - and maturely.

    Blaming people in relationships that are outside the norm for the crimes of promiscuity and unsafe sexual practices is way off however and comes across as nothing more than trolling.


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  • #91
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    Bad Panda wrote: »
    Channelled correctly, rage/anger can result in positive, powerful results.
    Maybe, there are a few trains of thought on that regarding mid to long term effects. Not all destructive emotions are equal, I'll grant.


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