too embarassed by my weight to go swimming

LegacyUser · 06-06-2012 09:58PM #1

Hi everyone.

Well the title is basically the gist of this. Going un-reg for this.

Im 24 years old, in the process of trying to lose weight at the moment and get fit(er) as Im extremely overweight. Im 5ft10 and I weigh 265lbs, almost 19 stone, size 18-20 with veeery flabby thighs! :O Since the new year Iv gone from almost 22 stone to 19 stone and it scares me how far I still have to go.

Anyway, Im very unfit and want to start exercising as I'v gotten much better with my diet in the past few months. Joining a gym is something which I wont do until I'v lost a LOT more weight as Im too self-concious. Other than that, the only exercise I get is walking the dog but I even try to avoid this which I know is ridiculous as Im just too embarassed, I live in a small town in the town so Im just being paranoid of everyone looking at the big fat lump walking around town panting and puffing.

The only other form of exercise which I genuinely love is swimming. I used to go relularly until my mid teens when I became too self-concious and stopped completely. Now the only time I will go swimming is abroad in a quiet pool on holidays where nobody knows me and even then I will literally go as fast as I can when getting in and out of the pool. Thing is, I really want to start going swimming 2/3 times a week...Im just too afraid. As in petrified!! I know it's so stupid and that I shouldnt be thinking about what others think of me / nobody will give a damn etc but I cannot bring myself to do it. Everything about it freaks me out, from walking to the changing rooms in a swimming costume to the young, hot lifeguards that will probably be there.

It all literally fills me with DREAD...would love if anyone has any advice/ tips for me as trying to psych myself up with 'JUST DO IT' isnt working.

Thanks in advance,
C.

Aisling(",) · 06-06-2012 10:07PM

Stop looking at how far you have to go and look at how well you've already done!3 stone in 6 months is incredible.

Imagine how much more you'll loose if you do start the swimming.No one will look at you bit if they do then just ignore them and do it for yourself!You're doing great just keep on pushing.

Janedoe10 · 06-06-2012 10:09PM

Thats amazing .. Keep up the good work ..

coolcat63 · 06-06-2012 10:16PM

Go early in the morning when there's very few people in the pool and everyone is concentrating on working out or try to coincide your visit with a group lesson when there are too many people to let yourself be singled out. TBH, once you are in the water no one will notice you and in another few months you will be proud to slip into your swimsuit.

Don't let embarrassment hold you back

whatdoicare · 06-06-2012 10:23PM

Heya, well done on you amazing weight loss!
Don't even worry about being self conscious in the pool - I'm a bigger lady (size 18- 20 ) and I swim every day and there's a girl with me who's even bigger and a gaggle of ladies who go for the aqua aerobics who have no intentions of losing weight or doing exercise haha.

Noone has batted an eyelid at me - everyone is there to do their own thing. I have made great friends since I started, at first I was very self conscious but I got great encouragement since I started going.

Once you start going on a regular basis you'll get to know the regulars and staff and you'll see that everyone is really friendly and supportive of each other.

When I first started going I couldn't swim a length but now I do 60 in 25 mins - I love when the really buff guys come in all show, flexing their arms and stuff and then turn purple and jump out after five lengths of trying to keep up with me heh heh heh. :pac:

edellc · 06-06-2012 10:33PM

Op I am in awe of you literally

i heard aqua aerobics is a great weight loss aid

keep up the great work op

peace and love x

Powerhouse · 06-06-2012 10:35PM

carrie87 wrote: »

Since the new year Iv gone from almost 22 stone to 19 stone

That's great going! Why not get out early in the morning (maybe 6am), get some music on the headphones and walk a few miles at that time?

Walking is probably the best exercise in your situation (looking for weight-loss) and if your dog is anything like mine he'll just slow you down.

You've made fantastic progress so far. Well done.

Fizzlesque · 06-06-2012 10:38PM

First of all, well done you on your weight loss so far. Secondly, well done you for wanting to get back in the pool

As someone who also loves swimming, I really hope you can find a way round your discomfort because, as you already know, you'll feel fantastic after every swim.

Where I go swimming sometimes there are aqua aerobic classes on and they look like good fun. Great music and an instructor doing all the moves at the side of the pool for the class to follow; would something like that appeal? To start, at least. You won't be the only person there trying to lose weight/tone up, which might help alleviate your fear a little.

The other thing I'd suggest is getting yourself a good swimsuit - I bought one a few years ago that holds your stomach in (a little). I also got a second one that's a two piece; the top piece is full body with wide(ish) straps covering my middle entirely and the bottom piece is like a little pair of shorts, instead of the bikini bottom type. I much prefer shorts to bikini brief bottoms.

Also, if you can find a pool that isn't very big, so there won't be loads of people there, that might help. I've swam in loads of different pools (I moved house/home a lot over the years) and sometimes in the smaller pools I had the whole pool to myself, or was sharing it with just a handful of people.

Maybe a nice sarong to wrap around yourself for the walk to the pool would help too. Lots of people wear shoes to avoid having bare feet on the ground and leave them at the edge of the pool so you could have stuff (shoes, goggles, swimming board etc) that you leave at the pool and while you're 'arranging' them slip off the sarong and quickly get yourself into the water.

Once you've been in the pool a few times, hopefully the joy your swim brings you will become fixed in your mind and overpower any nerves you have about your appearance.

I wish you all the best, and have to thank you for inspiring me to get my lazy self to the pool this weekend - I've been meaning to for ages, but haven't made enough of an effort lately. While typing this have reminded myself how much I love it so this weekend I've made a date with my swimsuit and the pool, which is really really close to my house; so no more excuses for me.

LegacyUser · 06-06-2012 11:12PM

in three months time you will wish you started today! well done for losing weight already, however unless you want to be left with flabby skin (in my opinion its better to be fat and 'firm' skin) you need to up the excercise!

CarMe · 07-06-2012 12:10AM

Aw OP please don't be nervous to go!! I was in the same boat just a little while back, I've always loved swimming but hadn't gone in years. My first day i sat in the changing rooms with my togs under my clothes texting my boyfriend saying how nervous i was-and in my gym the treadmills, weights etc look right into the pool :O at the very last minute i got in and honestly i have loved it so much since and lost noticeable weight. Most of all my body confidence has really improved i even got my swimsuit on at the beach during the nice weather, have gone to the sauna in my gym etc. I really really love it, you'll be so delighted if you go!
Also, for flabby thighs i think palmers firming butter is quite good.

Best of luck!

Princess Peach · 07-06-2012 03:17AM

Have you been to a pool yet? One thing you will find when you do go, is soooo many different sized people! You will not be among a sea of size 6 girls! All types of people go to the gym and the pool these days, and people really only care about themselves I find!

As said above, if you can fit it in, early morning tends to be very quite. After work hours are usually the busiest. Maybe try some quite times first to make you more comfortable?

Some pools may also have women only times, if you think you would prefer that.

Aqua aerobics classes are great. Again, women of all different sizes take them! I've been to one before where the pool was closed off for the class times, so it was just the women in the class who were there, check with the pool first.

I understand you're nervous, but I honestly think once you find the courage to get there once, it will be really great for you

Overheal · 07-06-2012 05:52AM

I've only gone in the last 3 months from 235 to 230 or so but thats mostly a net transition from muscle to fat; the feedback I've been getting about my look is astounding. You can only keep going. You may have a long way to go, like me, but what you've already done is a huge accomplishment. Be proud of it.

username123 · 07-06-2012 08:52AM

Op I swim 3 times a week, there are all sorts of shapes and sizes in the pool and no one is looking at anyone.

I understand the bit thats hard, its the walk from the changing room to the pool, once in the water all of our bodies are mostly invisible.

The lifeguards at mine are 1 guy in his 50s and 2 or 3 young lads, maybe 17ish - not hot

There is one lady I chat to sometimes and she wears one of those chiffon wraps - likes youd see on the beach, from the changing room to the pool. Just as she gets to the pool she unwraps right at the edge and goes in (it doesnt matter if the chiffon gets wet, its black and fringy).

No matter what shape or size people are, we all have body hang ups over something!!

And just imagine how great you will feel when you are finished your swim and on the way home, all refreshed and delighted!

Can you bring someone with you to distract you the first couple of times, and inject a bit of humour into it to make it easier?

kjl · 07-06-2012 09:48AM

Sorry OP, do you think that everyone just stares at overweight people when they go swimming?

Newsflash, nobody care what you look like. Believe it or not nobody is really happy with their body. I am not overweight, but I still look at my stomach and wish I had a six pack.

What you need to realise and everyone who is self conscience needs to realise is that most people are more concerned about what is happening to them, what they are saying, what they are doing. Not what other look like.

If you used to enjoy swimming then buy a big swimming suit and go for it. Don't let embarrassed stop you from losing more weight.

gerryk · 07-06-2012 11:08AM

A lot of pools open quite early... maybe even 8am. If you are self-conscious, go then. Eventually, you will come to realise that people don't have any interest in looking and judging and you might not have to get up quite so early

Sleepy · 07-06-2012 11:22AM

The only thing any serious gym goer will judge you on is your effort. I've trained with people in the past who had world records in their disciplines and found they had more respect for a wheezing mess like myself who was busting his gut in the gym and dripping in sweat than the reasonably fit people there with perfect make-up.

eviltwin · 07-06-2012 12:41PM

Carrie well done on all your hard work. You are to be commended for it. I can understand you're feelings. I am about 3 stone overweight and have recently started running to try and shift it, I have always tried to go running at night when I can't be seen because I am morto to be out. The few times I have done it during daytime I have really had to force myself out but no one looks. If anything I think people admire it, they can see I'm big so I hope they look at me and think "good on her". Keep up the good work

FionaG321 · 07-06-2012 01:07PM

Well done on the weight loss, that's amazing! Don't feel embarrassed. I know that you may be self conscious, but why care what other people think? I know this may be hard to do but just don't let what other people think of you affect you. You have come such a long way you deserve to show it off and most likely people are going to applaud you for losing the weight. Go swimming and hold your head high. Who cares what the other people think and if the think badly of you then they are not people worth getting caught up over. Chances are they won't notice you and most will be there trying to get fit as well! If you still feel self conscious and a bit worried, go swimming earlier in the morning or later in the evening when it would probably be quieter. Ring the pool and ask when they are quiet and gradually build up your confidence.
Good luck!

analucija · 07-06-2012 02:23PM

carrie87 wrote: »

Hi everyone.
The only other form of exercise which I genuinely love is swimming. I used to go relularly until my mid teens when I became too self-concious and stopped completely. Now the only time I will go swimming is abroad in a quiet pool on holidays where nobody knows me and even then I will literally go as fast as I can when getting in and out of the pool. Thing is, I really want to start going swimming 2/3 times a week...Im just too afraid. As in petrified!! I know it's so stupid and that I shouldnt be thinking about what others think of me / nobody will give a damn etc but I cannot bring myself to do it. Everything about it freaks me out, from walking to the changing rooms in a swimming costume to the young, hot lifeguards that will probably be there.

It all literally fills me with DREAD...would love if anyone has any advice/ tips for me as trying to psych myself up with 'JUST DO IT' isnt working.

Funny enough people that go to the pool usually go there to exercise and don't give a damn how other people look. From my experience only posers can sometimes attract scorn and ridicule.

I remember in high school our PE classes local in swimming pool often coincided with the local water polo club's practice. None of them would even acknowledge our presence. Quite a few of them would actually go to our school so would know some of us but they were there to train and they completely ignored us.

Holiday crowds are way more judgemental and if you can do it on your holidays then you can definitely do it in your local swimming pool.

smish · 07-06-2012 03:18PM

OP, sounds to me like you are Musterbating !

Alot of people musterbate and its a habit you have to try to get out of.

Really there are 3 forms of musterbating,

1) I must do well or I am no good.

2) You, you lose, must treat me well or you are worthless and deserve to roast in hell.

3) The world must give me exactly what I want, precisely when I want it or its an awful horrible place.

It would be terrible because of the MUST, you see. If you didnt musterbate then you wouldn't awfulize, terriblize, say I cant stand it and put yourself down.

If you only stuck with ; "I'd like very much to do well BUT I never have to" then you would not disturb yourself

07-06-2012 03:37PM

I think it is worth giving the pool a go. See if you can over come your sense of awkwardness. Anyone with an ounce of cop on, is going to have better things to do, than worry about how you look in your swimsuit.
If you want to get more active indoors, without joining a gym.
You could try an aerobics video too.
Your doing great....Keep up the good work.

BattleCorp · 07-06-2012 04:00PM

Congrats on your weight loss, long may you keep it going.

I'm fairly overweight too, 5' 6" and weigh 18.5 stone.

I go do my exercise in the gym/pool fairly regularly and I'm losing about 1lb weight every week and that suits me fine.

To be perfectly honest, I don't look great in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt (flab, stretch marks etc) but I'm not too bothered. I mightn't look great now but I will get into shape if I keep up the effort. It may take a while, but so what. As long as I get there, that's what matters. I'm trying to lose weight for health reasons.

Nobody has ever, and I mean ever, passed a negative comment about my appearance or weight problem during my time at the gym or the pool. I've gotten plenty of positive comments though about the weight I have lost so far.

The only person that has a problem with your appearance is you. If you want to go to the pool, then go to the pool and don't be worried about what people think of your appearance. Going to the pool is one of the best exercises for overweight people. Less pressure on joints etc. Plus it can be loads of fun. I often go to the pool with my 12 year old neice and it's good craic.

I don't worry about my appearance in shorts, and I'm feeling all the better for it now.

Oryx · 07-06-2012 06:00PM

Its all been said above really. I just wanted to chime in that Ive seen this issue posted before, here and in H&F. You are not alone in feeling self conscious. Even those that dont have major body hangups quite often dont want to look like an eejit, doing things wrong. Theres always something to feel self conscious about when you start something new.

Whether in the pool or the gym, most people will not notice you at all. Youre just one more body among a lot of other bodies. The thing is, if anyone there has an opinion on you, it is likely to be positive. Because others are there to train, and they appreciate others who take training seriously, particularly so when facing weight loss obstacles like you do. If I see someone carrying additional weight and training hard, I think they are brilliant, because thats tough, on so many levels.

The only people who make me grind my teeth in the pool (like the post above) are those who pose and get in the way.

Think of who you want to be. Who you are going to be. If you think someone is laughing (they wont be, but anyway..), just tell yourself, 'they wont be laughing soon'.

LegacyUser · 07-06-2012 09:14PM

just to chip in, i worked as a lifeguard fr 6+ years. saw all kinds of shapes and sizes and ages, you stop noticing after a while. So dont get paranoid about the lifeguards, unless you have an interesting tattoo or something they won't notice you at all. and everyone else is in th same boat as you - half naked and self-critical :P

go for a swim, its great exercise and actually I think its pretty healthy to see lots of other peoples non perfect bodies, it might make you feel more comfortable with yours.

Fenian Army · 07-06-2012 11:28PM

Sure with a hat and goggles people wont even recognize you

Rocket19 · 08-06-2012 12:07AM

Hi, not sure if this is helpful, but I'm really skinny, but still have body issues to a certain extent. By that, I mean I'd still have a minor freak out before leaving the changing rooms!

Nearly everyone is at least a little self-conscious, no matter what they look like. Most women are far too busy thinking about themselves to notice other women's bodies anyway! You should be sooo proud of yourself for losing weight, and what other people think (if they're thinking anything at all) should not stop you doing what you want to do. If anyone says anything to you, fcuk them, they're hardly secure, happy people if they're spending their time trying to hurt random strangers' feelings.

Chessala · 08-06-2012 11:44PM

Hey there OP.

Well done on the weightloss so far, I know exactly how you feel, I have been there too! Over the years I have lost 40kg and still have another 20-30kg to go.

Never be ashamed of yourself. I was when I was a teenager but thanks to my great friends I started going to the fitness center and kept swimming as well.

I know how demotivating it is to hear the giggles and literally see the people pointing fingers. But you know what? Try not to care about them, they don't know your circumstances and are nothing but ignorant. If it gets too much turn around and speak your mind. I used to tell people about my thyroid problem and you'd be surprised how the attitude changed. Either that or jump into the pool right next to them =D

Go with a friend if that helps you. Also, even though I know at that size you can't look good in a swimsuit/bikini, do NOT go with huge flowers or a bikini, NEVER a bikini. It will look really bad and huge colourful patterns will make you look bigger than you are. You'd be surprised how much thinner you can look with a black sports swimsuit.

Scamp- · 09-06-2012 02:03AM

OP you're grand. I'm positive no-one is looking at you because they'll all be looking at my big arse.

Everyone has there own insecurities, that's why we all go swimming.

LegacyUser · 09-06-2012 02:06PM

I'm in the same situation as you although I'm a few inches shorter!! I started swimming a couple of months ago and I was so embarrassed initially. But I kept going because it is the only form of exercise that I really enjoy.

Occasionally I see other people about the same size as me or even bigger and the only thought that comes into my mind is that it is great to see them getting some exercise in and improving their health.

And maybe some people in the pool are judging me because of my size but if they are, it hasn't had any impact on my life!

So, start swimming next week and enjoy it!

face1990 · 09-06-2012 02:53PM

You see lots of overweight people, and very skinny people, in the gym. And thats the point of it, that's why they're at the gym in the first place (to lose weight, or to bulk up muscle-wise).

Personally I would think quite positively of an overweight person at the gym. It shows that they recognise their weight problem and have decided to actually do something about it, which has to be admired.

Best of luck OP!

too embarassed by my weight to go swimming

Comments