Things the OH claims

Lando Griffin · 28-05-2012 12:49PM #1

The OH sometimes comes out with the most amazing statements that she believes are facts.
Google is my friend when trying to explain the reasons and truths about things.
Am I the only one that has to explain things to their OH or do you be left gob smacked by things your Ohs say.

Landette on plastics :
Landette “ Wash the underneath of the lawnmower because it will rot if you don’t”
Lando “ Its built with a plastic body so I doubt it will”
Landette “Plastic rots too you know”
Lando “Only after about 2000 years”
Landette “ Who says?”
Lando “Science says”

Landette on Mechanics (in winter)
Landette “You better check the engine for water”
Lando “You don’t put water in the engine, you put in antifreeze / coolant”
Landette “Well just put in antifreeze so, don’t bother with the coolant”
Lando “It comes as one”
Landette “But if you put coolant in wont it cause it to freeze faster?”
Lando “No, it stops it from freezing in winter and over heating in summer”
Landette “Well I only going to get antifreeze so”

Landette on the chances of rain.
Landette “Check if there is going to be rain tomorrow”
Lando “it says 50% chance of rain between 8am and 11am tomorrow”
Next morning at 11 and no rain
Landette “That weather you got is rubbish sure there is no rain”
Lando “It said 50% chance of rain and we got the 50% chance of no rain”
Landette “Yea, but it said rain it didn’t say no rain”

Landette on the Beautiful game
In the shops and all the Ireland Euro 2012 merchandise.
Landette “Ha, there still trying to flog off the Paddys day stuff in May”
Lando “That’s for the Euros in Poland”
Landette “I thought they were in London?”
Lando “That’s the Olympics love”

So there you have it blond seems to be growing inward too.

Am I alone with Ohs saying silly things?

Mr.Biscuits · 28-05-2012 12:51PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_muwtTQjMg

membersonly · 28-05-2012 12:55PM

I knew a woman once, she died soon afterwards..

AnonoBoy · 28-05-2012 12:57PM

I've never had a moron girlfriend so couldn't comment.

I suspect I'm the one that says dumb things in all my relationships.

Kenno90 · 28-05-2012 01:00PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've never had a girlfriend so couldn't comment.

Fixed that for you:pac:

AnonoBoy · 28-05-2012 01:01PM

Kenno90 wrote: »

Fixed that for you:pac:

Some get the papers on the phone. Oscar Wilde has been reincarnated!!!!

Buddinplant · 28-05-2012 01:01PM

we should get Landette on here to present a proper defense. be a good auld fashioned school debate with some jeering and wolf whistling

kfallon · 28-05-2012 01:04PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

The OH sometimes comes out with the most amazing statements that she believes are facts.
Google is my friend when trying to explain the reasons and truths about things.
Am I the only one that has to explain things to their OH or do you be left gob smacked by things your Ohs say.

Landette on plastics :
Landette “ Wash the underneath of the lawnmower because it will rot if you don’t”
Lando “ Its built with a plastic body so I doubt it will”
Landette “Plastic rots too you know”
Lando “Only after about 2000 years”
Landette “ Who says?”
Lando “Science says”

Landette on Mechanics (in winter)
Landette “You better check the engine for water”
Lando “You don’t put water in the engine, you put in antifreeze / coolant”
Landette “Well just put in antifreeze so, don’t bother with the coolant”
Lando “It comes as one”
Landette “But if you put coolant in wont it cause it to freeze faster?”
Lando “No, it stops it from freezing in winter and over heating in summer”
Landette “Well I only going to get antifreeze so”

Landette on the chances of rain.
Landette “Check if there is going to be rain tomorrow”
Lando “it says 50% chance of rain between 8am and 11am tomorrow”
Next morning at 11 and no rain
Landette “That weather you got is rubbish sure there is no rain”
Lando “It said 50% chance of rain and we got the 50% chance of no rain”
Landette “Yea, but it said rain it didn’t say no rain”

Landette on the Beautiful game
In the shops and all the Ireland Euro 2012 merchandise.
Landette “Ha, there still trying to flog off the Paddys day stuff in May”
Lando “That’s for the Euros in Poland”
Landette “I thought they were in London?”
Lando “That’s the Olympics love”

So there you have it blond seems to be growing inward too.

Am I alone with Ohs saying silly things?

But yet you don't give her a hard time over her mistakes because if you do you can kiss goodbye (actually you won't even get to kiss it) to that little goldmine between her legs

IvySlayer · 28-05-2012 01:07PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've never had a moron girlfriend so couldn't comment.

I suspect I'm the one that says dumb things in all my relationships.

I suppose they all fall in love with your long flowing golden locks :P

Ohhh sorespot!

Jammy Donut · 28-05-2012 01:07PM

What kind of a ****ing name is Landette?

flutterflye · 28-05-2012 01:08PM

I couldn't follow that with all the lando's and landette's.
But yeah, I say some pretty stupid stuff sometimes.

jayteecork · 28-05-2012 01:09PM

The dole.

AnonoBoy · 28-05-2012 01:10PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

I suppose they all fall in love with your long flowing golden locks :P

Ohhh sorespot!

Well actually I did a Wayne Rooney on it and now I look like this. :cool:

granturismo · 28-05-2012 01:12PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

The OH sometimes comes out with the most amazing statements that she believes are facts.
Google is my friend when trying to explain the reasons and truths about things.

Am I alone with Ohs saying silly things?

Google doesnt help here:

'I have a headache'

'it only cost €x' where €x = >(€x x2)

BunShopVoyeur · 28-05-2012 01:12PM

"Women can have orgasms too you know"

Nonsense

up for anything · 28-05-2012 01:18PM

The most stupid thing I said during my time as an OH was "I do"!

The Big Red Button · 28-05-2012 01:21PM

"I don't even know all the words to Bla Bla Black Sheep!"

4zn76tysfajdxp · 28-05-2012 01:21PM

"Four inches is fine."

humbert · 28-05-2012 01:22PM

"Don't believe in logic".

You really can't argue with that.

grindle · 28-05-2012 01:57PM

OH breaks iPhone in minor way, moans and cries about it for a weekend:

OH: "What should I do?"
Me: "Send it to Apple, they'll take €500 off your card temporarily, but refund you €350 and send you a new phone when they see it's just a screwy Sleep button."
OH: "I don't have that kind of money."
Me: "How much are your savings per month?"
OH: "€500."
Me: "Use that."
OH: "I can't use my savings."
Me: "Why?"
OH: "NOBODY ELSE WOULD TELL ME TO USE MY SAVINGS!"
Me: "Then you're not allowed cry and moan about problems you can fix, but won't."

Circular, for three hours.

Crooked Jack · 28-05-2012 02:04PM

Three gems from an ex. There were loads more.

Can trains go round corners?
Can trains go up hills?
Can turtles swim?

Duggy747 · 28-05-2012 02:05PM

"I like Ryan Tubridy, he's good."

:eek:

That's a killable offence right there.

Battered Mars Bar · 28-05-2012 02:07PM

Blondes :rolleyes:

Borat_Sagdiyev · 28-05-2012 02:12PM

Walking down O'Connell street in Dublin a few years ago with an ex.

"Where's the spire?"

FFS

Mr Benevolent · 28-05-2012 02:26PM

Both my ex and gf are natural blondes and are fairly smart (my gf more so), so it looks like you got a dud, OP. Back to the shop with her.

fasttalkerchat · 28-05-2012 02:51PM

Borat_Sagdiyev wrote: »

Walking down O'Connell street in Dublin a few years ago with an ex.

"Where's the spire?"

FFS

Haha. I drove a mate into town to pick up his friend. He had arrived at Connolly early so walked towards O'Connell street.
When we arrived on Henry street we rang to check he was still on O'Connell Street before driving into the one way system.
He said "I don't know"
We: "What can you see around you"
He: "McDonald's"
We: "Which one??"
He: "The restaurant"
We: "FFS, can you see the spire?"
He: "No"
We: "Can you see the GPO?, The Liffey, any banks?"
He: "I think I'm across from the GPO"

Drove down and he was standing directly beside the Spire.
He: "Sorry lads, I had my back to it!"

westcoast66 · 28-05-2012 03:00PM

I got a good one. Spain were playing russia in the 2008 euro finals.

OH: Is there nothing else on the telly?
Me: No, I want to watch this match.

An hour later...

OH: Oh that was a good goal!
Me: Do you even know who is playing?
OH: Err, is that Manchester United?

Dravokivich · 28-05-2012 03:09PM

westcoast66 wrote: »

I got a good one. Spain were playing russia in the 2008 euro finals.

OH: Is there nothing else on the telly?
Me: No, I want to watch this match.

An hour later...

OH: Oh that was a good goal!
Me: Do you even know who is playing?
OH: Err, is that Manchester United?

Eh, was it a good goal?

Don't see why you'd be in the right to give out to her for not knowing who was playing considering she didn't really have any interest in watching it in the first place.

westcoast66 · 28-05-2012 03:10PM

Domo230 wrote: »

That's not a blonde moment. I am the same about football.

Not giving a **** about stupid football ≠ lack of intelligence

Sorry, but watching a match for an hour and not picking up who the two teams are IS a blond moment.

fasttalkerchat · 28-05-2012 03:10PM

westcoast66 wrote: »

I got a good one. Spain were playing russia in the 2008 euro finals.

OH: Is there nothing else on the telly?
Me: No, I want to watch this match.

An hour later...

OH: Oh that was a good goal!
Me: Do you even know who is playing?
OH: Err, is that Manchester United?

She clearly didn't want to watch football but had the decency to show an interest and not whinge. Probably made you a plate of sandwiches too!
You got it good man!

shopaholic01 · 28-05-2012 03:14PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

"I don't even know all the words to Bla Bla Black Sheep!"

Does anyone?
However, most people probably know baa baa black sheep

Things the OH claims

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