minor dumpable offenses

Gummy Panda · 19-05-2012 08:33AM

Smash his xbox/playstation up!

Jesus Shaves · 19-05-2012 09:09AM

A major dumpable offence would be my girlfriend acting all childish on the internet because i ate her ben and jerry's ice cream

CruelCoin · 19-05-2012 09:27AM

Deleted User wrote: »

It's 3am. There is nothing to be gained by going apesh*t on his ass right now. Better to act sweet so we both get a nice night's sleep.

Unless he's a complete berk, he probably knows that poisonous "i'm fine" means you are very far from fine.

19-05-2012 09:31AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

You wimmins

Quit the mixed messages and double speak and "he should be able to read my mind"

If you've got something to say then just come out and say it

men do this as well and it's just as fcuking annoying

19-05-2012 09:38AM

Oh god this thread has me in stitches :pac:

I think I would consider dumping him too OP but he sounds like a ledge

Wibbs · 19-05-2012 09:52AM

bluewolf wrote: »

men do this as well and it's just as fcuking annoying

True. The bloke with the face like a constipated easter island statue holding it all inside. Yep common enough alright B. bloody irritating with it.

However to be fair, for true mastery in the "I won't tell you how I really feel, as if you loved me you'd be psychic" sport, women beat men hands down, or at least the fairer sex have more highly talented practitioners among their number. Ideal man? George Clooney? Brad Pitt? Naw, Uri Geller with a 4 inch tongue.

Though I strongly suspect if you could read that particular personality's mind they'd hate you...

girl in the striped socks · 19-05-2012 10:01AM

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.

I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Micky Dolenz · 19-05-2012 10:07AM

I hate the meaning and word, dump. It sounds like
Something only teenagers should say.

MagicSean · 19-05-2012 10:12AM

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.

I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Guest towels? I bet you have cushions on the bed that are not to be used and insist he lies on the side of the pillow without the design. Might I go so far to suggest you "tidy" all his stuff away in places he'd never think to look?

The Big Red Button · 19-05-2012 10:13AM

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.

I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

No, but he does! :eek:

Hockney · 19-05-2012 10:25AM

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it.

This guy is an absolute HERO!

19-05-2012 10:29AM

Wibbs wrote: »

True. The bloke with the face like a constipated easter island statue holding it all inside. Yep common enough alright B. bloody irritating with it.

However to be fair, for true mastery in the "I won't tell you how I really feel, as if you loved me you'd be psychic" sport, women beat men hands down, or at least the fairer sex have more highly talented practitioners among their number. Ideal man? George Clooney? Brad Pitt? Naw, Uri Geller with a 4 inch tongue. Though I strongly suspect if you could read that particular personality's mind they'd hate you...

Maybe so, but thankfully either the women I know don't seem to do it or I don't know they do it. If you want space to process stuff before discussing it then by all means go ahead but pretending everything is ok with a big sulky face on you - fcuk off!
I do have a friend whose way of dealing with issues like "x keeps asking me to loan her stuff but she keeps losing it so instead of saying anything i'll just keep 'forgetting' to give it to her from now on" and that seems to be common enough
smack!

Wibbs · 19-05-2012 10:35AM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I hate the meaning and word, dump. It sounds like
Something only teenagers should say.

Feeling old, outa touch...:P

Gannicus · 19-05-2012 10:40AM

Princess Peach wrote: »

I was texting a guy once and I stopped it when he insulted Arnold Schwatznegger. I just knew right then we weren't meant for each other.

Watched Commando last night was great craic.

Took my last score outta my wallet to pay a taxi when I was in having a shower. And neither of us get paid till the 1st of the month so I had no smokes or lunch in work the next day. was like a demon.

Another was she was taking sh!te from the fridge and dropped me last beer and it burst.

The coup de grace was she spent €70 getting one side of her head shaved then was all pissy because I didn't like it. Glad I'm single now.

girl in the striped socks · 19-05-2012 10:42AM

MagicSean wrote: »

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.

I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Guest towels? I bet you have cushions on the bed that are not to be used and insist he lies on the side of the pillow without the design. Might I go so far to suggest you "tidy" all his stuff away in places he'd never think to look?

The cushions can be used but they never are, purely for display purposes at this stage.
He can lie on whatever side of the pillow he wants.
And yes I do tidy his things but everything has a place so it's fairly easy to find.

I sound like a control freak but you have no idea how annoying it is.
Oh I thought of another one, newspapers left in the toilet.

PCPhoto · 19-05-2012 10:54AM

you sound like my fiancee !!

(except I dont puke in the spare bathroom)

Micky Dolenz · 19-05-2012 10:56AM

bluewolf wrote: »

Maybe so, but thankfully either the women I know don't seem to do it or I don't know they do it. If you want space to process stuff before discussing it then by all means go ahead but pretending everything is ok with a big sulky face on you - fcuk off!
I do have a friend whose way of dealing with issues like "x keeps asking me to loan her stuff but she keeps losing it so instead of saying anything i'll just keep 'forgetting' to give it to her from now on" and that seems to be common enough
smack!

People act differently infront of their partners though. Friends don't play silly games wih each other but some lovers are forever at it.

Wibbs wrote: »

Feeling old, outa touch...:P

Too right, I used to be hip to the groove now I need a groove in my hip

Crooked Jack · 19-05-2012 10:58AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Just told him I have a craving that can't be filled, except by icecream, and he told me to go stand naked in the garden, cause "That'll be cold..... and hot!"

He's so not taking this seriously!

He sounds like the coolest dude. I dont even know him and i like him. Count yourself lucky.

Micky Dolenz · 19-05-2012 10:58AM

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

The cushions can be used but they never are, purely for display purposes at this stage.
He can lie on whatever side of the pillow he wants.
And yes I do tidy his things but everything has a place so it's fairly easy to find.

I sound like a control freak but you have no idea how annoying it is.
Oh I thought of another one, newspapers left in the toilet.

Are we talking about your partner or your child?

19-05-2012 10:59AM

Big Steve wrote: »

Another was she was taking sh!te from the fridge and dropped me last beer and it burst.

I seriously need to get my eyes tested. I first read that and was like :eek:
got it the third time :cool:

Mickey Dazzler · 19-05-2012 11:03AM

I arrived home from work once to find my girlfriend kneeling in the middle of the sitting room naked with 7 black gentlemen huddled around her performing bukkae on her face. It was tough but we worked through it.

Micky Dolenz · 19-05-2012 11:05AM

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

I arrived home from work once to find my girlfriend kneeling in the middle of the sitting room naked with 7 black gentlemen huddled around her performing bukkae on her face. It was tough but we worked through it.

You mean, you came through it?

19-05-2012 11:14AM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

People act differently infront of their partners though. Friends don't play silly games wih each other but some lovers are forever at it.

yeah that's why i put in that qualifier

the purple tin · 19-05-2012 12:13PM

Why not talk to him, air your greivances. Bottling things up until you explode or resorting to tit for tat acts of passive aggression is poison for a relationship.

19-05-2012 12:14PM

the purple tin wrote: »

Why not talk to him, air your greivances. Bottling things up until you explode or resorting to tit for tat acts of passive aggression is poison for a relationship.

Because it's over a tub of ice cream.

whirlpool · 19-05-2012 12:16PM

Littering.

It disgusts me.

alphanine · 19-05-2012 12:18PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

My GF has a habit of stopping my recordings on sky plus if something is overlapping with her programme. I have felt like murder in the past but thankfully I've restrained myself so far.

"Adds another 1st world problem to list"

Deus Ex Machina · 19-05-2012 12:21PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Just went to the freezer and found my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's. I wouldn't care, cept it's 3am and I want icecream now and there isn't any. I didn't show him that I'm angry, I said it's ok, but I am RAGING.

What are those minor, meaningless offenses that make you want to kill/dump your OH?

*awaits "toilet seat" whinging. It's a toilet seat. Put it down yourself. He stole my icecream. Unbelievably worse.

Your boyfriend is an alpha male. He takes what he wants and apologises to no-one. He probably does a thousand things like this but you let them all go because, like all alpha males, he knows how to sling dick. He's dropping sweet daddy dick straight from the shoulders of Eros, right into your box, and afterwards he acts as if it was nothing to him. Maybe it took a big effort, but you'll never know. Alphas can be outsmarted, out thought, finessed, but in outright, barefaced competition, they'll kick your ass 99 out of a 100 times. Don't mess with alpha males unless you want to be fucked six ways to Sunday and hit with some chrome knuckle type pimp game biatch.

Rosy Posy · 19-05-2012 12:22PM

A guy I know once dumped his gf by presenting her a list of reasons, one of which was that she didn't like pasta carbonara...he's still single...what a guy...

mongdesade · 19-05-2012 12:22PM

"What are those minor, meaningless offenses that make you want to kill/dump your OH?"

I arrive home to find she's blazed my last doob of fine green & left me a stabber :mad:

Stabber...I'll dissembowel her if it happens again !! :eek:

minor dumpable offenses

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