What are your views on your Daughter or Sister Marrying a Christian?

JimiTime · 23-03-2012 01:09PM #1

What would your views be on your daughter or sister deciding to marry a Christian? Would you take any action to prevent it? If so, what? I've heard things about family members being shunned for doing such things, and just wanted to get the views of the locals here. Also, is there an official Islamic doctrine on this?
Thanks.

baltimore sun · 23-03-2012 01:11PM

If they love each other why give a toss about which imaginary fictional figure they believe in?

JimiTime · 23-03-2012 01:14PM

baltimore sun wrote: »

If they love each other why give a toss about which imaginary fictional figure they believe in?

Do you mind. This is a genuine question that I'm asking muslims, which is why I asked it in the islam forum and not in after hours or A & A.

JimiTime · 25-03-2012 07:45PM

Any takers?

dead one · 26-03-2012 08:32AM

JimiTime wrote: »

Any takers?

Hey jimitime, First, it isn't an honor to marry a christian/jew. It's burden and a big responsibility- Secondly muslim women aren't allowed-- Islam forbids a Muslim woman from marrying a christian/ jews... Now comes to prevention--- There is no compulsion in Islam... A muslim woman can marry a christian if she wants to... but clearly her actions violate Islam... As she won't be able to grow up her kids in an islamic way.... The reason is simple, Her chirstian/jew husband won't allow her to teach her kids a thing which goes against their faith... I mean,suppose you're christian and marries to some muslim woman.. Will you allow, your muslim wife to teach your kids Jesus isn't God but a Prophet... I am sure you wouldn't.... The exception is only allowed to muslim men... I mean, a muslim man who wants to marry a christian female... He is going to put some extra burden on him...

JimiTime · 26-03-2012 10:18AM

dead one wrote: »

Hey jimitime, First, it isn't an honor to marry a christian/jew. It's burden and a big responsibility- Secondly muslim women aren't allowed-- Islam forbids a Muslim woman from marrying a christian/ jews... Now comes to prevention--- There is no compulsion in Islam... A muslim woman can marry a christian if she wants to... but clearly her actions violate Islam... As she won't be able to grow up her kids in an islamic way.... The reason is simple, Her chirstian/jew husband won't allow her to teach her kids a thing which goes against their faith... I mean,suppose you're christian and marries to some muslim woman.. Will you allow, your muslim wife to teach your kids Jesus isn't God but a Prophet... I am sure you wouldn't.... The exception is only allowed to muslim men... I mean, a muslim man who wants to marry a christian female... He is going to put some extra burden on him...

Thanks dead one. I of course understand why a Muslim should not seek to marry outside of the faith, similarly a Christian. Its not an exclusively Islamic notion. If faith is important to a person, then it goes without saying that marrying outside of such faith can have issues, especially if children come along. Anyway, my main question is about the methods in preventing such things. I was wondering about if Islam actually prescribes something for a father to do if their daughter was to marry a Christian etc. You suggest that it doesn't, so thanks for answering.

I often hear of dramatic stories of daughters being locked away etc by the family, in places like Egypt, when things like this occur, and I was wondering if this is actually commisioned by Islam, or if it is just an individual thing.

Mark Hamill · 26-03-2012 12:14PM

dead one wrote: »

Islam forbids a Muslim woman from marrying a christian/ jews... Now comes to prevention--- There is no compulsion in Islam...

dead one wrote: »

A muslim woman can marry a christian if she wants to... but clearly her actions violate Islam... As she won't be able to grow up her kids in an islamic way.... The reason is simple, Her chirstian/jew husband won't allow her to teach her kids a thing which goes against their faith... I mean,suppose you're christian and marries to some muslim woman.. Will you allow, your muslim wife to teach your kids Jesus isn't God but a Prophet... I am sure you wouldn't.... The exception is only allowed to muslim men... I mean, a muslim man who wants to marry a christian female... He is going to put some extra burden on him...

So the Islamic view is that muslim women will be pressured by non-muslim men to not make the kids muslims and thats bad, but muslim men can pressure non muslim women to make the kids muslims, so its not as big a deal? Shouldn't marriage, I don't know, be about loving your partner?

dead one · 27-03-2012 04:58AM

JimiTime wrote: »

I often hear of dramatic stories of daughters being locked away etc by the family, in places like Egypt, when things like this occur, and I was wondering if this is actually commisioned by Islam, or if it is just an individual thing.

There are two thing which influence mind of a person in region... Cultural belief and religious belief... The stories which you are telling are cultural... I mean in lot of eastern cultures women marry as per will of father... A woman who marries a christian, actually she attacks on cultural/family reputation of a father... This lead a father to become personal with her... Islam never says to treat women like that... A father, who locks up her daughter, thinks that he is doing a great job as per his cultural beliefs....

Mark Hamill wrote: »

Islam prohibits a generation from disbelief.. It's simple, I hope you would get the point... why isn't it allowed for women to marry some non muslim... A women can marry if she wants to... but first she has to sacrifice her faith....
There are two things-- faith and desire... If faith is important then you must sacrifice the desires, if desires are important then you must sacrifice faith...The choice is yours-- There is no compulsion...

Mark Hamill wrote: »

So the Islamic view is that muslim women will be pressured by non-muslim men to not make the kids muslims and thats bad, but muslim men can pressure non muslim women to make the kids muslims, so its not as big a deal? Shouldn't marriage, I don't know, be about loving your partner?

marriage is a contract, There is no pressure in it... If you feel any pressure leave the contract... It's simple...

Hobbes · 27-03-2012 06:12AM

To the OP and to your original question (as the other has been answered). It will depend a lot on the family in question. Certainly if they are devout Muslims they will pressure you to become a Muslim in order for the marriage to work (in their eyes).

As to disowning/attacking/controlling the woman to prevent the marriage depends a lot on where they are from to begin with.

Skuxx · 27-03-2012 06:39AM

Mark Hamill wrote: »

So the Islamic view is that muslim women will be pressured by non-muslim men to not make the kids muslims and thats bad, but muslim men can pressure non muslim women to make the kids muslims, so its not as big a deal? Shouldn't marriage, I don't know, be about loving your partner?

I agree 100%, this sort of carry on angers me! "Religion" has some fcuked up views of what's acceptable!

Mark Hamill · 27-03-2012 10:21AM

dead one wrote: »

Islam prohibits a generation from disbelief.. It's simple, I hope you would get the point... why isn't it allowed for women to marry some non muslim... A women can marry if she wants to... but first she has to sacrifice her faith....
There are two things-- faith and desire... If faith is important then you must sacrifice the desires, if desires are important then you must sacrifice faith...The choice is yours-- There is no compulsion...

So in islam, there is prohibition, there is forbidding, but there is no compulsion? Doesn't Islam teach that the outcome of ignoring what is forbidden or prohibited is time in Hell? How is that not compulsion?

dead one wrote: »

marriage is a contract, There is no pressure in it... If you feel any pressure leave the contract... It's simple...

So Islam should have no problem with a muslim woman entering a contract with a non-muslim man?

Hobbes · 27-03-2012 12:25PM

Mark Hamill wrote: »

So Islam should have no problem with a muslim woman entering a contract with a non-muslim man?

Lets not play word games that lead into arguments.

The reason a Muslim woman is forbidden to marry outside the religion is because in Islam the man is considered the head of the household, and in charge of raising the children in Islam.

As the head of the household would not be a Muslim, it means to other Muslims they would believe that the children are not being raised under Islam.

.. But that isn't what the OP is asking about, I suspect he knew this already (certainly 5 seconds in google will tell you this).

He wanted to know what impacts would happen in the family relationship if such a case happens. Let's leave the thread to that.

irishconvert · 30-03-2012 04:21PM

JimiTime wrote: »

What would your views be on your daughter or sister deciding to marry a Christian? Would you take any action to prevent it? If so, what? I've heard things about family members being shunned for doing such things, and just wanted to get the views of the locals here. Also, is there an official Islamic doctrine on this?
Thanks.

I would not be very happy if this happened. I would not shun or disown her but would try to convince her that she is making a mistake.

Skuxx · 30-03-2012 09:36PM

irishconvert wrote: »

I would not be very happy if this happened. I would not shun or disown her but would try to convince her that she is making a mistake.

I'm sorry but I really don't get this!! So your daughter finds herself a man, whom she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with, surely as a parent you should encourage this to the best of your ability, regardless of what religion either person is, your daughters happiness should be your number one concern!! Calling it a mistake is insulting to the other person, its as if your calling non muslims inferior!
I can only be thankful I was born outside all this "religion".

irishconvert · 10-04-2012 12:48PM

alan1990 wrote: »

I'm sorry but I really don't get this!! So your daughter finds herself a man, whom she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with, surely as a parent you should encourage this to the best of your ability, regardless of what religion either person is, your daughters happiness should be your number one concern!!

It is, and I believe she will have a happier more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Marriages with people of different religions can cause all kinds of problems especially when children come along. What if her husband is a devout Christian, this could cause a lot of problems down the line, and could potentially break up the marriage.

alan1990 wrote: »

Calling it a mistake is insulting to the other person, its as if your calling non muslims inferior!

Oh come on, stop looking to be "offended". I don't think non-Muslims are inferior and never suggested so.

Ashbourne hoop · 10-04-2012 12:59PM

irishconvert wrote: »

It is, and I believe she will have a happier more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Marriages with people of different religions can cause all kinds of problems especially when children come along. What if her husband is a devout Christian, this could cause a lot of problems down the line, and could potentially break up the marriage.

Oh come on, stop looking to be "offended". I don't think non-Muslims are inferior and never suggested so.

Surely you want your daughter to be happy, regardless of what religion her husband was. I don't get your point that she will have a happier, more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Are all Muslim marriages happy ? Seriously doubt it to be honest.

dead one · 24-04-2012 06:52AM

alan1990 wrote: »

your daughters happiness should be your number one concern!! Calling it a mistake is insulting to the other person, its as if your

If your daughter wants to jump from top story building, It makes her happy.. What will you do for her happiness. Easy question

irishconvert · 25-04-2012 12:45AM

Ashbourne hoop wrote: »

Surely you want your daughter to be happy, regardless of what religion her husband was. I don't get your point that she will have a happier, more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Are all Muslim marriages happy ? Seriously doubt it to be honest.

Did you not read my reply? I outlined the problems caused when two partners aree different religions and devout followers. Do you not think this will cause problems?

Ashbourne hoop · 04-05-2012 02:05PM

irishconvert wrote: »

Did you not read my reply? I outlined the problems caused when two partners aree different religions and devout followers. Do you not think this will cause problems?

I did read your reply, it was just your opinion, and the opposite view could be argued just as easy.

smithcity · 12-05-2012 10:59AM

Ashbourne hoop wrote: »

Surely you want your daughter to be happy, regardless of what religion her husband was. I don't get your point that she will have a happier, more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Are all Muslim marriages happy ? Seriously doubt it to be honest.

I think it's fair to say that the points made by irishconvert would be true of a devout adherent to any religion. A devout christian would be just as perturbed as a devout muslim if his daughter was to marry and raise her children outside of her faith.

Avox · 13-05-2012 07:25PM

irishconvert wrote: »

It is, and I believe she will have a happier more stable marriage if her husband is a Muslim. Marriages with people of different religions can cause all kinds of problems especially when children come along. What if her husband is a devout Christian, this could cause a lot of problems down the line, and could potentially break up the marriage.

Oh come on, stop looking to be "offended". I don't think non-Muslims are inferior and never suggested so.

So if your daughter wanted a happy life with someone who didn't want to control her, all the things she does, all the things she wears etc, you wouldn't be happy for her?

Says a lot about your religion tbh.

The Sky · 14-05-2012 12:35AM

Avox wrote: »

Says a lot about your religion tbh.

Hasn't he already said that it would be best if they both shared the same beliefs, I can understand him as if someone even who i loved told me that i believe was wrong and that Jesus was not God then i think my love for that person would be diminshed.

Zombrex · 18-05-2012 04:19PM

smithcity wrote: »

I think it's fair to say that the points made by irishconvert would be true of a devout adherent to any religion. A devout christian would be just as perturbed as a devout muslim if his daughter was to marry and raise her children outside of her faith.

And to be honest as an atheist I would have issue with my son or daughter marrying a devout Muslim. While it might "make her happy" I would be concerned about the influence the religious practices would have on him/her and any grandchildren.

So there are sort of two issues here, and I agree with irishconvert that people seem to be rushing to be offended when I think if they stepped back a bit they might see more common ground that originally visible.

The first is whether or not parents should have opinions, including strong opinions, about the person their children get involved in. I would think yes, that is perfectly normal. Everyone is concerned about the influences others have over their children, particularly if they feel those influences are negative, which I personally feel Islam is. I can certainly relate to any parent who feels concerned about a negative influence on their children, even if I personally don't believe the influence is negative (ie a lot of religious people are concerned about secularism on their children, where as I think it is great).

The second issue that follows on is whether people think non-Islamic influences are negative. Not being a Muslim that is not a question I can answer from a Muslim perspective.

My over all point is that people should maybe think a bit before they condemn a Muslim who says they would be concerned about their daughter marrying a non-Muslim, and perhaps ask themselves how they would feel if their daughter was marrying that very Muslim (no offense irishconvert, I'm sure you are lovely :P)

HamletOrHecuba · 18-05-2012 07:59PM

Avox wrote: »

So if your daughter wanted a happy life with someone who didn't want to control her, all the things she does, all the things she wears etc, you wouldn't be happy for her?

Says a lot about your religion tbh.

As a Christian I would feel exactly the same about a daughter or sister marrying a Muslim as he does one of his own marrying a Christian. Even her marrying a Protestant would not please. I think any serious member of a Religion would feel the same way.

All things said I would prefer her marrying a Muslim to some degenerate agnostic though.

wexie · 18-05-2012 08:21PM

Has it not occurred to any of you that the situation where two 'devout' followers of different religions are marrying is an extremely remote possibility purely by virtue of them being......(wait for it) two 'devout' followers of different religions?

If this were likely to happen, it would mean that 'devout followers' (of any religion) would be a lot more open minded and accepting than we're currently seeing and the world would be a much better place.

Or, on the opposite side of the argument, you could say that if two 'devout followers' (of any religion) are intending to get married, then by virtue of them considering marrying outside of their faith they are by definition not devout followers....

philologos · 19-05-2012 10:05PM

wexie wrote: »

If this were likely to happen, it would mean that 'devout followers' (of any religion) would be a lot more open minded and accepting than we're currently seeing and the world would be a much better place.

Would it? Really?

Your position is on the false assumption that one is bigoted because they want to marry someone that shares their values and beliefs? Is that really true? I don't think so.

I'm a Christian, and as a result I stand for the Gospel. As a result I long to meet someone I can share my life with. My whole life, that includes my walk with Jesus. I'm more likely to relate to someone with whom I can actively live for Jesus with, rather than someone who strongly disagrees with Christianity.

This doesn't mean that I can't befriend non-Christians (and that I do), but marriage is something completely and utterly different.

I don't believe for a second that rejecting faith of necessity makes people open minded, indeed it can make people a whole lot more closed minded.

Mark Hamill · 20-05-2012 03:06PM

HamletOrHecuba wrote: »

All things said I would prefer her marrying a Muslim to some degenerate agnostic though.

What about a generate agnostic?

philologos · 20-05-2012 07:09PM

HamletOrHecuba wrote: »

All things said I would prefer her marrying a Muslim to some degenerate agnostic though.

I have to call you out on this. The Biblical text doesn't say that an agnostic is any more degenerate than a Muslim, or a Christian. Rather it teaches that we've all sinned and fallen short of God's glory and that Jesus came to save us through His death and resurrection so that we might be forgiven.

Your posts don't simply communicate the grace that you claim to have received as a Christian.

HamletOrHecuba · 20-05-2012 07:21PM

philologos wrote: »

I have to call you out on this. The Biblical text doesn't say that an agnostic is any more degenerate than a Muslim, or a Christian. Rather it teaches that we've all sinned and fallen short of God's glory and that Jesus came to save us through His death and resurrection so that we might be forgiven.

Your posts don't simply communicate the grace that you claim to have received as a Christian.

All that is good comes from God- very many Muslims show forth much good in my experience, which being good comes to them from God, that is not to say that they have not sinned or are in the way of Salvation necessarily (though Muslims who are invincibly ignorant of Christ may well belong to the soul of the Church outside of which there is there is no salvation)- but to put pious Muslims on a level with Katie Price and Tony Blair is utterly offensive against basic justice.

HamletOrHecuba · 20-05-2012 07:24PM

philologos wrote: »

I have to call you out on this. The Biblical text doesn't say that an agnostic is any more degenerate than a Muslim, or a Christian. Rather it teaches that we've all sinned and fallen short of God's glory and that Jesus came to save us through His death and resurrection so that we might be forgiven.

Your posts don't simply communicate the grace that you claim to have received as a Christian.

Clearly Job though needing a Saviour was less degenerate than Pharaoh?

Clearly lot was less degenerate than the rest of Sodom.

philologos · 20-05-2012 07:26PM

HamletOrHecuba wrote: »

All that is good comes from God- very many Muslims show forth much good in my experience, which being good comes to them from God, that is not to say that they have not sinned or are in the way of Salvation necessarily (though Muslims who are invincibly ignorant of Christ may well belong to the soul of the Church outside of which there is there is no salvation)- but to put pious Muslims on a level with Katie Price and Tony Blair is utterly offensive against basic justice.

I agree that all things which are good are from God, but the idea that someone is more degenerate than another is patently nonsense.

Good works, don't save as far as Christianity is concerned. If that is your criteria, many atheists and agnostics actually do much good. They do much that God may even be pleased with, were it not for the clear rejection of Him.

The principle that is behind Christianity, is that God loved the world, and He loved it so much that He sent His Son Jesus into the world to rescue man.

I've sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, as have you, and as has everyone on the face of the planet. We've all sinned - nobody is any less a sinner than another actually. If we've sinned, we're guilty.

Therefore who exactly are you to claim that an agnostic is a "degenerate" in comparison to a Muslim? That's a profoundly unchristian thing to say to someone.

What are your views on your Daughter or Sister Marrying a Christian?

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