Going for gold.

There should be an event called "Whining about first world problems". Guaranteed multiple golds for Ireland.

One suggests Pighead should try Pole Vaulting. All you need is a pole; even a brush handle will do. A modicum of speed and gymnastic ability, and Bob's your uncle: a Gold for Ireland!

Of course, looking at Ireland's success in Rugby, we should endeavour to find other sports that hardly anyone in the world does and try to excel at them.

As for adding new events, we already have too many. I suggest combining a few to reduce the numbers. How about the 10000m High Hurdles? Or the Rhythmic Gymnastic Bike race? Or my own favourite: The Basketball Shot Putt.

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Saying mass should be an Olympic Sport.

Think about it...all across the country you'd have fellow priests saying mass as quickly as possible trying to qualify. Even if you're not practising you still get dragged to the odd mass whether it's for a funeral or a wedding or some mad thing like that.

Even though there's only one gold, everybody wins.

Why only one gold? There could be individual and team competitions; there could be golds for different styles; gold for saying mass backwards, forwards; synchronized masses; and gold for saying multiple masses: how many masses can you squeeze in in one hour? Gold for the largest attendance...

So many potential golds for Ireland. But our team would fcuk it up. No doubt. They'd fail the doping tests. Miss masses due to trying to father kids. Be DQed for going over the allowed time limit. Our star "player" might go off in a huff...