Funny Graffiti in the Jacks

Stiffler2 · 09-05-2012 02:12PM #1

Share with us the toilet graffiti you've come across in your life. I'll kick start it, here are a few :

Here I ly in stinky vapour
because some a$$hole stole the toilet paper
Should I ly or shall I linger
Or shall I be forced to use my finger

============================

on the skirting board / bottom of door.

Closer
Closer
Closer

( Congratulations, you're now $hitting on the floor )

=====================================

What poems / stories / graffiti ( call it whatever you want ) have you come across, please do share

chin_grin · 09-05-2012 02:12PM

Stiffler, your sense of humour is sh!t.

Sergeant · 09-05-2012 02:14PM

Flush twice, it's a long way to the canteen.

Ghandee · 09-05-2012 02:16PM

I was using a toilet in a bar in Belfast once, that had tiny writing barely legible, written near the bottom of the toilet door, immediately in front of me.

When I lowered myself down to read it, it had the following sentence written in black marker.

"You are now shiiteing at an angle of 45 degrees"

kfallon · 09-05-2012 02:16PM

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to shit but only farted

Ghandee · 09-05-2012 02:18PM

kfallon wrote: »

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to shit but only farted

A fart so great it shook the bowl
And burnt the hairs from off my hole.

Ahhhh, Just finished it!

rainbowdrop · 09-05-2012 02:18PM

There's no use standing on the toilet seat,
The crabs in here jump 10ft high,
If you think that's high,
Go to <insert name>'s house,
The bastards fly!!

Fromthetrees · 09-05-2012 02:18PM

'The phantom ****er strikes again'. (and there's poo poo all over the wall ffs.)
'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you and watching you right now'.
'I always enjoyed being abused as it made me feel wanted'.

don't shoot the messenger

John Doe1 · 09-05-2012 02:18PM

"Im the cutest boy in town" dont know why I find it funny:)

FatherLen · 09-05-2012 02:19PM

an oldie but a good one.

some come here to shit and stink,
some come here to sit and think,
I come here to scratch my balls
and write graffiti on the walls.

frag420 · 09-05-2012 02:19PM

Toilet tennis look left

Toilet tennis look right

Ghandee · 09-05-2012 02:20PM

This one will remain a favourite of mine for a long time!

Crooked Jack · 09-05-2012 02:24PM

I was in a hostel in amsterdam and instead of a door the toilet had this wooden screen that you pulled across. Not only did it not lock but it only started at your knees and went as far as your neck, so you were practically looking at the people walkin past. Anyway, someone had written on the wooden screen "****ting here is like **** in front of your mother...impossible." It was very true.

I also saw some great Pogues lyrics on a toilet wall once

"A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a **** house wall
So before I go I'll add my regal scrawl
To s how hte world I'm left with sweet **** all."

Nothingbetter2d · 09-05-2012 02:28PM

i once saw on a condom machine "insert baby for refund"

then on the door next to it, it said "if baby doesn't fit in the condom machine please remember to flush"

jasonb · 09-05-2012 02:32PM

Saw this once in the Gents in college :

Anxious?
Worried?
Pregnant?

You're in the wrong jacks!

J.

shancoduff · 09-05-2012 02:39PM

Recently saw "I f*** arses" in a toilet

A tribute to this excellent scene:

Kristopherus · 09-05-2012 02:44PM

On the back of the door:

"Why emigrate? You can make a load here !!!"

athlonelad · 09-05-2012 02:46PM

Before Smoking Ban:
Sign in toilet said:
"Please refrain from throwing Cigarette butts in the urinal"

Someone else decided to write under it
"They get wet and soggy and are hard to light"

upandcumming · 09-05-2012 02:50PM

Someone in college labelled everything in the disabled cubicle. From supports, to the fuse, to the tap and cistern he had it all.

skinny90 · 09-05-2012 02:52PM

Toilet in the college has "pull here for an arts degree " on the toilet roll rack

LuckyFinigan · 09-05-2012 02:55PM

On one of the toilet paper dispenders in collage it says pull here for business degree.

Plazaman · 09-05-2012 02:56PM

Seen on a cubicle doors with a space at the bottom :
BEWARE - DWARF LIMBO DANCERS PATROL HERE

And this one made me chuckle in a pub toilet :
I F**KED YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT
Underneath was written in different handwriting :
DAD GO HOME, YOU'RE DRUNK!

Hamhide · 09-05-2012 02:59PM

I saw a funny one in the gents in swords pavillions,it said
''bring back the glory hole gay b&sterds!!''

the little holes were blocked up.always makes me giggle