Approaching women in random places

jaffacakesyum · 07-05-2012 05:11PM

eth0 wrote: »

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

Yes and no.

As another poster said, read body language. You can tell in a minute or two if you're not wanted. In which case just be polite and make your leave.

Some women and men just don't want to be bothered when waiting for the bus or sitting on a bench in a park. Some would love to be chatted up in that way. So go for it but, again just be cautious that some just want to be left in peace.

Daveysil15 · 07-05-2012 05:16PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Yes and no.

As another poster said, read body language. You can tell in a minute or two if you're not wanted. In which case just be polite and make your leave.

Some women and men just don't want to be bothered when waiting for the bus or sitting on a bench in a park. Some would love to be chatted up in that way. So go for it but, again just be cautious that some just want to be left in peace.

That's actually very good advice. They say at least 50% of communication is in your body language.

jaffacakesyum · 07-05-2012 05:20PM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's actually very good advice. They say at least 50% of communication is in your body language.

Yup trouble is, a lot of guys (I'm sure women too!) either are terrible at reading body language or else they can read it but just choose to ignore it! Has happened countless times to me.

Feeona · 07-05-2012 05:22PM

It's also better to think that you're just having a chat with them if you do decide to approach a stranger. There's nothing more off putting for the asker than 'F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, I'm asking a stranger out on a date' going around in your head.

07-05-2012 05:34PM

Condatis wrote: »

I've done it. It's no different than meeting somebody anywhere else.

The bus is straightforward enough and I've done that after a chat and having seeing them a few times on previous journeys.

I once dated a girl after she answered my call to Directory Enquiries – meeting her as she left work.

Some years I dated a girl who was busking in Grafton Street. That is the most memorable.

Oh! a hitchhiker once – that lasted a while.

Need a date nifty....Call 11-8-50! :cool:

PrincessLola · 07-05-2012 05:51PM

the keen edge wrote: »

Don't do it.

At best you'll just get you dreams and confidence shattered; at worst a kick in the balls and a listing on the sex offenders register.

Irish women don't like maverick types.
No, you're better of fapping over them behind a bush, at a remote safe distance with all the rest of us.

NOT TRUE.

do it OP. Approaching women at a cafe/shop/museum is much more romantic than a bar.

TeddyTedson · 07-05-2012 05:53PM

When you say random places are you talking about the likes of a gym or are we talking about a dark alley at midnight?
Because midnight is fairly romantic but in the gym everyone is usually covered in sweat so that would just be weird.

IM0 · 07-05-2012 05:54PM

eth0 wrote: »

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

no its not speak for yourself. just cause you dont like it

steddyeddy · 07-05-2012 05:58PM

I think the bigger the deal you make out of asking someone out the harder you make it for yourself and the person your interested in. It has happened to me once or twice. Unfortunatly I had a girlfriend at the time but the girl who asked me out was a stunner and Im sorry I wasnt single to tell the truth!

There are one or two girls I know around ucd who I plan to ask out for a drink. We make eye contact and exchange the odd smile a lot so its not like I would be just aproaching them out of the blue. If you like someone who cares wheter people think your strange or not! Just go for it and dont see it as a big deal.

shopaholic01 · 07-05-2012 05:59PM

Ficheall wrote: »

The crucial difference between Ted and I, being, of course, that he had a Volkswagen Beetle, whereas I would have to take the bus...

Yes, it's unlikey you'd get away with loading an unconscious female into the baggage hold of a bus.

IM0 · 07-05-2012 06:00PM

faint heart never won fair maiden

DustyMan · 07-05-2012 06:01PM

I was in Boots one day and saw a very attractive girl there. I said to myself I'd ask her out. I never do this normally! I had nothing to loose except a bit of pride but a lot to gain! So I waited outside and when she came out I just stopped her and told her I'd seen her inside, that she was very attractive and would she like to go for a drink sometime? She said 'ok'. We both chatted a little more and ended up going out together for a while.
So the moral of the story is, try, what have you got to loose?! A little pride... that's all.

'A lot of things are lost to this world just for the want of asking'.

Lionel Messy · 07-05-2012 06:01PM

Most Irish women are sound, just don't come on too strong. I have been "hit on" by some right weirdos and it's not nice.

Daveysil15 · 07-05-2012 06:10PM

Leah Wide Bin wrote: »

happened to me recently but unfortunately I just was all embarrassed mumbled something then went to pay for what I went into the shop for he was right behind me . Longest five mins ever mortified.

It was probably even longer for him lol.

ViveLaVie · 07-05-2012 06:12PM

I's actually happened to me before too, three times to be exact. I ended up getting drinks with two of them. I did find it strange but at the same time I was really flattered. IMO definitely do it, if you can manage to strike up a conversation in a non-creepy way. I find it less weird when foreigners just randomly walk up to you and ask you out but that's only cos Irish men aren't known for their confidence unless they're after a few. If you make eye contact with her and she smiles, go for it! Usually it's really flattering and any time it's happened it's put me in a really good mood all day. I find it less strange if it happens in Dublin too for some reason...men are much more direct up there than down south! Men who are confident are much more attractive btw. It's often been the case that I've thought a lad was only alright only to find him far more attractive once he starts talking cos he's so confident in himself.

tan11ie · 07-05-2012 06:15PM

I was shopping in Dunne’s last week and a guy walking by with his trolley stopped to tell me I was beautiful & would I fancy a date. I actually didn’t understand what he said so he repeated it again with fellow shoppers listening in.

It takes a lot of courage to approach someone randomly like that and fair play to him, although at the time I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up!! I resembled a beet root

I think it’s worth a shot – nothing ventured nothing gained.

Jesus Wept · 07-05-2012 06:21PM

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

Battered Mars Bar · 07-05-2012 06:22PM

tan11ie wrote: »

I was shopping in Dunne’s last week and a guy walking by with his trolley stopped to tell me I was beautiful & would I fancy a date. I actually didn’t understand what he said so he repeated it again with fellow shoppers listening in.

It takes a lot of courage to approach someone randomly like that and fair play to him, although at the time I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up!! I resembled a beet root

I think it’s worth a shot – nothing ventured nothing gained.

Did ya say yeah or no?

tan11ie · 07-05-2012 06:27PM

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

I wouldn't say all women refuse; I did only because I'm seeing someone at the minute.I would have taken his number otherwise ...he was a fine thing!! Wouldn't happen if I was single.

Jesus Wept · 07-05-2012 06:32PM

tan11ie wrote: »

I wouldn't say all women refuse; I did only because I'm seeing someone at the minute.I would have taken his number otherwise ...he was a fine thing!! Wouldn't happen if I was single.

I didn't say they all do, I said it's the most common response.
I'm sure it might happen if you were single. :P

tan11ie · 07-05-2012 06:32PM

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Did ya say yeah or no?

It was a no, If I was single It would have been a big yes!

branbee · 07-05-2012 06:32PM

This has never happened to me, closest thing to it was a woman running over to me with a piece of paper with a name and number on it saying her friend told her to give this to me after seeing me from the window of the pub they were in. Pretty weird but i was flattered!

Daveysil15 · 07-05-2012 06:35PM

I think location plays a key role. Approaching a woman in a gym for example while she's working out probably isn't a good idea. Perhaps a clothes shop would be better as you could ask a girls advice on something related to clothes or whatever she's looking at. I never use public transport myself but I often see attractive women by themselves waiting at bus stops. If you approached a girl there she'd be less likely to run away as she'd have to wait for her bus.

tan11ie · 07-05-2012 06:37PM

Andy Carroll wrote: »

I didn't say they all do, I said it's the most common response.
I'm sure it might happen if you were single. :P

I don't think Irish women are used to been approached outside the pub environment but I think times are changing and about time too.

jaffacakesyum · 07-05-2012 06:38PM

From reading peoples responses on here and other threads, most guys go for the (perfectly polite and acceptable btw) "Hi there. I just noticed you in __ and thought you are very attractive/beautiful. Would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

While there's not much else way of going about it, I think I just get uncomfortable when someone I don't know says I'm beautiful. I'm not good at taking compliments as it is so from strangers that seems a little strong.

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

steddyeddy · 07-05-2012 06:38PM

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

It really depends on the situation. As I said before I make eye contact with a nice girl in ucd now and again and she throws me a smile. Im not saying she likes me sexually at all or anything like that but it at least shows that she is aproachable.

Even if some girls find it wierd it really wouldnt bother me wheter they do or not.

IM0 · 07-05-2012 06:39PM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I think location plays a key role. Approaching a woman in a gym for example while she's working out probably isn't a good idea. Perhaps a clothes shop would be better as you could ask a girls advice on something related to clothes or whatever she's looking at. I never use public transport myself but I often see attractive women by themselves waiting at bus stops. If you approached a girl there she'd be less likely to run away as she'd have to wait for her bus.

anyone else find that creepy?

Battered Mars Bar · 07-05-2012 06:45PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

Exactly, for a guy to ask a girl out based on looks alone wouldn't be my thing. Prefer an ice breaker, just something witty about whatever is around and then go for it if she seems nice and responds well.

Jesus Wept · 07-05-2012 06:45PM

DustyMan wrote: »

I was in Boots one day and saw a very attractive girl there. I said to myself I'd ask her out. I never do this normally! I had nothing to loose except a bit of pride but a lot to gain! So I waited outside and when she came out I just stopped her and told her I'd seen her inside, that she was very attractive and would she like to go for a drink sometime? She said 'ok'. We both chatted a little more and ended up going out together for a while.
So the moral of the story is, try, what have you got to loose?! A little pride... that's all.

'A lot of things are lost to this world just for the want of asking'.

tbh I found this a bit creepy too. :P

ViveLaVie · 07-05-2012 06:50PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

From reading peoples responses on here and other threads, most guys go for the (perfectly polite and acceptable btw) "Hi there. I just noticed you in __ and thought you are very attractive/beautiful. Would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

While there's not much else way of going about it, I think I just get uncomfortable when someone I don't know says I'm beautiful. I'm not good at taking compliments as it is so from strangers that seems a little strong.

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

The experiences I've had haven't really been like that. I think if the lad had said something like that, I would have been a bit more freaked out. Two out of the three times it happened to me it was Irish guys doing the asking. They never referred to how I looked, just struck up a natural enough conversation considering, and then asked for my number. I gave it, because they made a real effort to initiate a conversation. The third guy was American and just straight out said I was cute. He continued to talk to me after saying that for a while though before asking me out. I forgave him more for that opening line purely because he wasn't Irish. I think if someone came up to me at a bus stop and said, 'Hey you're good looking wanna get a drink' I'd be like ehh no weird! However, if we were both standing there waiting and he asked me the time or something and then we got talking and I thought he was nice I'd consider saying yes. I think making it seem natural is the most important thing really.

Approaching women in random places

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