Tell a girl she is beautiful?

navsat · 21-04-2012 9:42am #1

Hi,

Would it be creepy to tell a girl she is beautiful or gorgeous? I would like to say it without any strings attached.

If she would become interested in me I would be very happy. If not then no big deal for me.

The point is I just want to say it without coming of as a weirdo. We see each other everyday and we smile when we meet in the hallways.

Need advice please.

Old Tom · 21-04-2012 9:51am

Why would it be creepy? Go on, tell her, it's not an offence is it?
Way too many people think of what they should or shouldn't say. Tell her what you think, be brave, be honest and you will succeed.

DiamondGuy · 21-04-2012 10:09am

You rarely regret doing things in life, you regret not doing it!

iguana · 21-04-2012 11:10am

Moved from Weddings, Marriage & Civil Partnership.

Meow_Meow · 21-04-2012 11:43am

iguana wrote: »

Moved from Weddings, Marriage & Civil Partnership.

He must be really serious about this girl!

But honestly Navsat- it depends on the relationship you have with this girl, and I would advise being a little more subtle in how you express it. If you only see eachother in hall ways and haven't even spoken to eachother before, I do think it would be far too direct and a little creepy if you walked right up to her and blurted out that she was gorgeous. How about some small talk first, find out her name and a bit about her, then slip in a nice compliment on something specific. All girls like to hear they're beautiful, but you need to be appropriate too.

ihsb · 21-04-2012 9:38pm

I would love to hear that from anyone! Do it!

21-04-2012 9:39pm

If you say "by the way, you're looking really well today"/"god you're looking lovely", that shouldn't seem creepy. If it happened to me I'd quite like it.

But if you give her a good oul' stare and tell her "I think you're beautiful." She might be a tad weirded out. It has the potential to be a really touching compliment, but also could seem quite intense.

It depends on the delivery, and quite frankly, it depends on whether or not she likes you already.

snafuk35 · 21-04-2012 11:07pm

Hi OP,

Telling a girl she is beautiful will not creep her out. It will bore her.

Think about it.

How many times do you think an attractive woman gets stared at, hit on or told she is beautiful? I'm pretty sure it happens daily if not hourly. So she is not going to be impressed by a guy who tries what she has heard a gazillion times before.
You've probably heard women being whistled at by builders or you have seen guys passing a girl in a car and whooping at her? Now do you think she will want to get together with these men as a result of that behaviour? How often have men got together with women by doing that?
Telling a beautiful woman she is beautiful when she has already been hit on endlessly by other men who have told she is a beautiful is almost on a par with the whistling builders and the whooping idiots.

So don't do it.

21-04-2012 11:32pm

There's absolutely nothing wrong with telling a woman she is beautiful.

I think you should do it.

Giblet · 22-04-2012 12:29am

What reason do you need to say this, what do you hope to accomplish? If you have an answer, then you probably shouldn't.

LegacyUser · 22-04-2012 1:55pm

When I was younger, I'd have been easy enough on the eye. Sometimes I did have men I barely knew tell me that I was gorgeous or similar compliments. It certainly didn't bolster my ego. Instead it left me feeling extremely uncomfortable and wary. In short, I wish they'd kept their mouths shut. I'm not saying that that's the way this girl will react but be aware that not every woman will appreciate what you say.

Meow_Meow · 22-04-2012 7:15pm

elenapartridge wrote: »

When I was younger, I'd have been easy enough on the eye. Sometimes I did have men I barely knew tell me that I was gorgeous or similar compliments. It certainly didn't bolster my ego. Instead it left me feeling extremely uncomfortable and wary. In short, I wish they'd kept their mouths shut. I'm not saying that that's the way this girl will react but be aware that not every woman will appreciate what you say.

Couldn't agree with this more-- I used to be very naive and be flattered when a guy would say I was beautiful outright, but it's come to a point where I've realised that if a guy has the confidence to walk up to a girl he doesn't know and tell her she's beautiful, chances are he says it to a lot of girls. That's why I'd recommend complimenting something specific, but being genuine. But needless to say, this doesn't cover complimenting her tits or ass...

Gatica · 23-04-2012 10:15am

weeeeeell, beauty's in the eye of the beholder. Who's to say she gets complimented all the time?

Yes, it can come across creepy but it can also be sweet. All depends on how it's done. Don't think anyone can recommend you as to how to go about doing that as it's all in the subtle detail...

LOLA08 · 23-04-2012 12:07pm

if you are in and around the same ages, "dont shot me for saying that" but i do think a young girl may be intimated or think your a werido if an older man paid her a compliment, also if you think you may have a chance with her, then go for it.

you say you see her everyday in the hallways do you work with her? if so maybe its the one area that i would have 2nd thoughts about approaching her

Chazz Michael Michaels · 23-04-2012 12:13pm

If you have never spoken to her, then don't. Just casually say 'hi' to her on the occasion you pass, it will turn you from a stranger into someone she notices. Her reaction will speak volumes of whether she is interested or not.

saa · 23-04-2012 12:16pm

navsat wrote: »

I would like to say it without any strings attached.

If she would become interested in me I would be very happy. If not then no big deal for me.

Well you're kind of saying it in the hitting on her way because you're expecting her to start showing interest in you after you say shes good looking, in my experience a lot of good looking girls are not self confident and can't take a compliment about their dress nevermind how they look or get told it so often by drunk guys in a club its lost meaning and means can I sleep with you?

Is there anything else you can make her feel good about that isn't about her looks, its so easy for a guy to say to a woman you're gorgeous but I think we appreciate a more thoughtful compliment, try it out with something small like if she changes her hair and you say it looks lovely and shes all smiles and giggles rather than nothing then thats okay but if you say you are beautiful and she doesnt give you a good response then there is no going back.

Gatica · 23-04-2012 2:39pm

working together may make things a little more complicated but doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with them.
If it's something that could make things awkward in future, why not try to chat to her first, as some have suggested?
Find an excuse to sit beside her at lunchtime if you share a canteen for example... Say hi and strike up a conversation.

The Corinthian · 23-04-2012 4:11pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

How many times do you think an attractive woman gets stared at, hit on or told she is beautiful?

Less often than you'd imagine. I once knew a sublimely beautiful girl who was convinced that she was ugly, because men never asked her out, let alone compliment her. In reality, I suspect it was because they were to scared to and there's little culture of compliments with 'no-strings-attached' in Ireland.

Anglophone culture is not great at expressing such things. Irish culture, in particular, does not seem to get past the stage of pulling a girl's hair in the playground to show you like her in that there seems to be more slagging than compliments in Irish adult courtship.

Say it. Mean what you say. And express it only out of appreciation and nothing more. It's not meant to creep her out or even seduce her - at worst it's a harmless flirt. If she does get creeped out by a compliment, I don't know what to say other than either you must have sounded creepy or she has self esteem issues. If the latter, that's not your problem.

Beauty, charity, merit and talent should be complimented.

LegacyUser · 23-04-2012 5:46pm

The Corinthian is right about one thing. There is no culture here in Ireland of people making compliments like that. When I read you original post, I recoiled and thought "Jesus, don't say that whatever you do". Perhaps you mean the compliment sincerely but it creeped the hell out of me.

If some man I didn't have a relationship with came up to me and said that, I'd immediately start asking myself what his game was. Is he trying to get me into bed? Is he a chancer? Is he just one of those messers who just likes going around saying that sort of thing to women? Or is he one of those creeps that every Irish woman has met on a night out. The one who spends the night either staring at you or hangs around like a bad smell.

Instead, if you want to get to know her just start with hello and see what happens. If you don't, just leave the girl alone. You''ll probably make her feel uncomfortable and there's no going back from that

darapixie · 24-04-2012 12:02am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Hi OP,

Telling a girl she is beautiful will not creep her out. It will bore her.

Think about it.

How many times do you think an attractive woman gets stared at, hit on or told she is beautiful? I'm pretty sure it happens daily if not hourly. So she is not going to be impressed by a guy who tries what she has heard a gazillion times before.
You've probably heard women being whistled at by builders or you have seen guys passing a girl in a car and whooping at her? Now do you think she will want to get together with these men as a result of that behaviour? How often have men got together with women by doing that?
Telling a beautiful woman she is beautiful when she has already been hit on endlessly by other men who have told she is a beautiful is almost on a par with the whistling builders and the whooping idiots.

So don't do it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... maybe it would be the woman's first time being told it!

Tell a girl she is beautiful?

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