Do bullies really have low self esteem?

charlemont · 23-04-2012 03:12PM

grindle wrote: »

How about a decade being called a "fäggot" and a "queer", being stabbed with compasses, belted with rulers and stones, and pushed around corridors because they knew I'd be too terrified to "squeal" because of the consequences if I did?
Being too scared to leave my house because my estate was littered with scum looking to abuse the weakling?
Multiple suicide attempts and hospitalisations, a short stay in a psychiatric hospital, six years of medication and counselling?
Yeah, sure, bullying's not serious.
Just havin' the craic.

Fair play to you for speaking about it here and I hope you get better, I had similar but nothing as bad as you describe but the one thing I look back on and hate now is how I lost my ambitions and ended up with serious alcohol and legal issues which really screws up my chances of good employment.

ntlbell wrote: »

grow some balls.

Sometimes its not that easy there may be bullying going on in the family home too and its hard to grow balls when your spirit is broken.

I overcame most of my bullies in the end and became friends with some of them but the guy who caused me the worst hassle is doing a Life sentence now and that always brings a smile to my face.

WindSock · 23-04-2012 03:14PM

foxyboxer wrote: »

I would guess he means to retaliate against perceived bullying.
People let themselves get pushed around literally and figuratively.

That may not always be the case. What if retaliating makes it worse?

OldGoat · 23-04-2012 03:15PM

Bullying is such a nampypamby term, so very 1900s schoolboyish. It doesn't carry the weight of the the intimidation, aggression and abuse involved. I think we should change it to... intimiagrouse.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:18PM

WindSock wrote: »

How do you do that? Does it ensure you won't be picked on too?

There's a cream I know that shrinks them, So there must be the equivalent of miracle grow for balls to increase them.

anyway moving on from your hilarious observations. we protect everyone now in western society from the weak and socially inept to the intellectually challenged and give them the resources they need to function in society. So as a human race we can't move forward.

Maybe bullying is a process in selective evolution if the weak and socially inept are bullied enough they'll end their own lives or become recluse so won't have kids. cleaning up the gene pool slightly.

it won't go down well with most but I think it's nicer to think there's a real reason than usually the most liked/popular/strong person in the group having esteem problems or some other form of horse poo.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:19PM

charlemont wrote: »

the guy who caused me the worst hassle is doing a Life sentence now and that always brings a smile to my face.

Why? does it help with self esteem issues?

FTGFOP · 23-04-2012 03:21PM

RoverJames wrote: »

There are plenty of pr1cks about who deserve a good slagging during their formative years

Could you describe some examples?

Handsome Bob · 23-04-2012 03:23PM

ntlbell wrote: »

Oh, Internet tough guy now. I'm sure he's terrified now.

you learn him.

The irony of you calling someone else an internet tough guy. I wonder if you're as mouthy in real life as you are online?

charlemont · 23-04-2012 03:24PM

ntlbell wrote: »

Why? does it help with self esteem issues?

No, Seeing his miserable face leaving court is one of the funniest things I'v ever seen. Same fellow was all smiles and chat when I was inside myself but its all fake an absolute psychopath who's friends and cousins all deserted him once they grow up at 18/19.

WindSock · 23-04-2012 03:24PM

ntlbell wrote: »

anyway moving on from your hilarious observations. we protect everyone now in western society from the weak and socially inept to the intellectually challenged and give them the resources they need to function in society. So as a human race we can't move forward.

Some people argue that is moving forward.

Maybe bullying is a process in selective evolution if the weak and socially inept are bullied enough they'll end their own lives or become recluse so won't have kids. cleaning up the gene pool slightly.

erm.

it won't go down well with most but I think it's nicer to think there's a real reason than usually the most liked/popular/strong person in the group having esteem problems or some other form of horse poo.

Not all popular people are bullies. And not all popular people possess lots of self esteem. Many entertainers for example...

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:26PM

Handsome Bob wrote: »

The irony of you calling someone else an internet tough guy. I wonder if you're as mouthy in real life as you are online?

Don't push me.

St.Spodo · 23-04-2012 03:26PM

In my experiences, most people from school who apparently had everything going in their favour weren't bullies. Those who were bullies had evident problems below the surface.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:28PM

WindSock wrote: »

Some people argue that is moving forward.

No, it just increases the burdon on society.

WindSock wrote: »

Not all popular people are bullies. And not all popular people possess lots of self esteem. Many entertainers for example...

In general they would be, it's rare especially in schools some lonley guy with no friends is going around kicking the **** out of everyone. It's usually a lot more clever than that.

grange hill != real life

Duggys Housemate · 23-04-2012 03:31PM

ntlbell wrote: »

No, it just increases the burdon on society.

In general they would be, it's rare especially in schools some lonley guy with no friends is going around kicking the **** out of everyone. It's usually a lot more clever than that.

grange hill != real life

While that is true in school, the bullies often end up as loud drunken yobs on the dole and proud of it, whilst the bullied become super rich from their script writing, book publishing, software or general creativity.

Thats why the grange hill writers made bullies look like idiots.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:34PM

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

While that is true in school, the bullies often end up as loud drunken yobs on the dole and proud of it, whilst the bullied become super rich from their script writing, book publishing, software or general creativity.

Thats why the grange hill writers made bullies look like idiots.

That's a lovely story.

A lot of bullies i grew up with became very rich ruthless business men.

some ended up complete average joe soaps.

and some became **** all

so exactly like everyone else?

I don't think it has much baring on the outcome in later life as much as the bitter bullied would like to wish the worst on their bully. life just isn't that fair

WindSock · 23-04-2012 03:35PM

ntlbell wrote: »

No, it just increases the burdon on society.

What is society moving forward? There are hardly massive advances in societies where the weak are treated poorly. There are plenty more technological advances for instance in places where they are trying to be helped.
Are you saying compassion holds us back?

In general they would be, it's rare especially in schools some lonley guy with no friends is going around kicking the **** out of everyone. It's usually a lot more clever than that.

grange hill != real life

I don't argue that a lot of bullies don't comply with the stereotype of the Beano meathead with cauliflower ears. Yes a lot of them are popular for reasons, some are respected out of fear perhaps. That's not real respect in the end though. Eventually their minions / followers see through that and get sick of being treated like **** and move on.

Logical Fallacy · 23-04-2012 03:39PM

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

While that is true in school, the bullies often end up as loud drunken yobs on the dole and proud of it, whilst the bullied become super rich from their script writing, book publishing, software or general creativity.

Thats why the grange hill writers made bullies look like idiots.

lol, do people really hold on to that fantasy as a way to make themselves feel better?

FTGFOP · 23-04-2012 03:42PM

OldGoat wrote: »

Bullying is such a nampypamby term, so very 1900s schoolboyish. It doesn't carry the weight of the the intimidation, aggression and abuse involved. I think we should change it to... intimiagrouse.

Neology is the hallmark of a good analrapist.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:43PM

WindSock wrote: »

What is society moving forward? There are hardly massive advances in societies where the weak are treated poorly. There are plenty more technological advances for instance in places where they are trying to be helped.
Are you saying compassion holds us back?

The least educated for example in general have the most kids. Since we then have to protect these in all manner of ways, they grow up and in turn have a ton of kids and we're ending up with a large percentage of the population that we have to protect therefor being a burden on society.

It's no longer the survival of the fittest because we protect everyone. hence we don't move forward. The morons the weak are no longer been wiped out they're the leaders of the country for example this is not progression.

WindSock wrote: »

I don't argue that a lot of bullies don't comply with the stereotype of the Beano meathead with cauliflower ears. Yes a lot of them are popular for reasons, some are respected out of fear perhaps. That's not real respect in the end though. Eventually their minions / followers see through that and get sick of being treated like **** and move on.

again this would be a lovley little end to the bully story but it's just not based in reality. the bully will have many different outcomes they all don't get left behind to cry into their pillows

Duggys Housemate · 23-04-2012 03:49PM

ntlbell wrote: »

The least educated for example in general have the most kids. Since we then have to protect these in all manner of ways, they grow up and in turn have a ton of kids and we're ending up with a large percentage of the population that we have to protect therefor being a burden on society.

It's no longer the survival of the fittest because we protect everyone. hence we don't move forward. The morons the weak are no longer been wiped out they're the leaders of the country for example this is not progression.

Are you incorrectly confusing the least educated with the bullied here? I'd say you are. Probably it works the other way.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 03:52PM

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Are you incorrectly confusing the least educated with the bullied here? I'd say you are. Probably it works the other way.

I was just giving an example of how society can be held back by protecting the weak

you can replace it with any weakness you like.

WindSock · 23-04-2012 03:56PM

ntlbell wrote: »

The least educated for example in general have the most kids. Since we then have to protect these in all manner of ways, they grow up and in turn have a ton of kids and we're ending up with a large percentage of the population that we have to protect therefor being a burden on society.

It's no longer the survival of the fittest because we protect everyone. hence we don't move forward. The morons the weak are no longer been wiped out they're the leaders of the country for example this is not progression.

Now you're talking about the uneducated. Don't really know what this has to do with the bully topic but I am sure there are plenty of bullies in that uneducated group too. And those who have more kids are the survivalists. But if you want to remedy this as it doesnt fit into your ideal utopian society then educating them would be a lot less effort than bullying them into killing themselves. Sure plenty of people in this group might have 'grown a pair' aswell and are impervious to the bullies efforts....might even backfire on the bully...

again this would be a lovley little end to the bully story but it's just not based in reality. the bully will have many different outcomes they all don't get left behind to cry into their pillows

They may or may not. A 'bully' is just a person who acts or acted like a dickhead toward others. There is no end to any little story on how a bully may end up. It is just nice poetic justice to think that someones tormentor ended up with a **** life when in reality many may not even be bullies anymore. Or some may be successful CEO's or attentive nurses.

Noffles · 23-04-2012 03:56PM

ntlbell wrote: »

I was just giving an example of how society can be held back by protecting the weak

you can replace it with any weakness you like.

The Ignorant, the idiots, the bullies... They are all "weak" on one way or another.

Shame they don't fcuk off too

xflyer · 23-04-2012 03:56PM

Bullies are cowards. Saw enough of them over the years. They never attack the genuine tough guys because they know they'll get the s**t kicked out of them.

They often have a bunch of little followers around them so some people think they're actually popular. But if any of their pets step out of line they end up bullied too.

I was the quiet, sensitive type so was occasionally a target. I was by no means a tough guy but I had a temper. I would take it for a while but eventually lose it. I would retaliate and hit back. I almost got one expelled from school when I lost it in class once. The teacher figured out exactly what was going on and the bastard was in big trouble. I was left well alone after that. Proof that bullies are cowards.

I could also run fast, that kept me out of trouble a lot.

Even so it had it's effect on me. I could see how it would be very damaging to some people.

Micky Dolenz · 23-04-2012 04:02PM

ntlbell wrote: »

There's a cream I know that shrinks them, So there must be the equivalent of miracle grow for balls to increase them.

anyway moving on from your hilarious observations. we protect everyone now in western society from the weak and socially inept to the intellectually challenged and give them the resources they need to function in society. So as a human race we can't move forward.

Maybe bullying is a process in selective evolution if the weak and socially inept are bullied enough they'll end their own lives or become recluse so won't have kids. cleaning up the gene pool slightly.

it won't go down well with most but I think it's nicer to think there's a real reason than usually the most liked/popular/strong person in the group having esteem problems or some other form of horse poo.

MOD

You haven't copped on. Don't post in this thread again please.

ntlbell · 23-04-2012 04:02PM

removed.

OldGoat · 23-04-2012 04:07PM

FTGFOP wrote: »

Neology is the hallmark of a good analrapist.

Naaa, more of a consensual rationalist.

zenno · 23-04-2012 04:09PM

WindSock wrote: »

That may not always be the case. What if retaliating makes it worse?

Let me put it this way.. If you do not retaliate then you are sure to spend many more years having to put up with bullying.

As hard and crap as it is, the only way to deal with bullying is to squeeze your hand into a fist and forward it directly to the bullys nose or a few times if needed as this will make the bully know that you are not going to sit down and take it anymore. Ok it is not a nice thing to be doing but if you are left with no choice it has to be done to stop this for the health and mental well-being of yourself. Sometimes you need to go this route and it will normally work and never back down because if you do then you will suffer bullying for future years to come.

WindSock · 23-04-2012 04:10PM

ntlbell wrote: »

yes lets hope some idiots life is ruined because at an age where he generally didn't know any better, he hurt someones feelings.

As an adult having this sort of attidide is much worse than the original bullying

at least at your age you should know better.

Well you have been directed not to reply so I won't carry on whatever the...dunno...debate we are having here is but I will say I never stated someones life should be ruined over anything and I never maintained that attitude or opinion at all in this thread.

Good luck with the miracle grow ball cream.

Tigger · 23-04-2012 04:12PM

RoverJames wrote: »

Were they actual bullies though?

There are plenty of pr1cks about who deserve a good slagging during their formative years, those doing the slagging may be viewed as bullies by the pr1cks.

Deserve ? By who's criteria ? So jumped up 14 year old?

Duggys Housemate · 23-04-2012 04:12PM

zenno wrote: »

Let me put it this way.. If you do not retaliate then you are sure to spend many more years having to put up with bullying.

As hard and crap as it is, the only way to deal with bullying is to squeeze your hand into a fist and forward it directly to the bullys nose or a few times if needed as this will make the bully know that you are not going to sit down and take it anymore. Ok it is not a nice thing to be doing but if you are left with no choice it has to be done to stop this for the health and mental well-being of yourself. Sometimes you need to go this route and it will normally work and never back down because if you do then you will suffer bullying for future years to come.

The problem is the bully will have a gang.

Do bullies really have low self esteem?

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