long distance relationships

IM0 · 21-04-2012 06:13PM #1

how long have you been in it, or how long did it last before the need for physical contact got too much?

I wouldnt be able for one, I like cuddles and sex too much

Praetorian Saighdiuir · 21-04-2012 06:15PM

Bout 8 inches

Lawrence1895 · 21-04-2012 06:17PM

They don't work, I tried already

Peetrik · 21-04-2012 06:17PM

Never tried it myself but I reckon you'd get away with about a month of LDR for every year you've been together.

IM0 · 21-04-2012 06:18PM

Lars1916 wrote: »

They don't work, I tried already

how long did it last?

judgefudge · 21-04-2012 06:20PM

I was in one for 1 and a half years. Between Irl and Oz. Didn't end well. I'd say they can be done if the distance isn't that far and its not for an unrealistic amount of time.

Micky Dolenz · 21-04-2012 06:21PM

They don't work.

Temptamperu · 21-04-2012 06:23PM

Three years thus far, its very hard without the physical intimacy but I am closer to her than I have ever been with anyone else. Im saving to go to america with her but with tax out the ass and the price of living it is very hard to save up.

eth0 · 21-04-2012 06:24PM

They're feckin terrible yokes

Aidric · 21-04-2012 06:25PM

Forget about it.

stovelid · 21-04-2012 06:28PM

Did it for 3 years, albeit in the same country. We're married now.

IM0 · 21-04-2012 06:29PM

stovelid wrote: »

Did it for 3 years. We're married now.

but are you living together

Where To · 21-04-2012 06:29PM

Here's a long distance relationship that works;

10 000 miles = 52 800 000 feet

stovelid · 21-04-2012 06:33PM

IM0 wrote: »

but are you living together

Yes.

Susie_Q · 21-04-2012 06:45PM

I'm in an LDR this year as I've moved overseas for work. I left in August of last year and travelled home for 3 weeks at Christmas, then himself flew over to India to see me last month, so we've managed to see each other every few months. I'll be home in August so only 4 more months to go.

It's not ideal but it's not nearly as difficult as people make out. We're together over 4 years and very committed so there was no question of it not working. We talk every day and use Skype a lot, being able to see the other person really helps.

In saying that, I've decided I won't do another overseas job unless he's coming with me - I do miss him a lot and can't wait to see him again. LDR is doable though, if you're really in love and want to make it work then it's possible.

Fiona · 21-04-2012 06:49PM

Depends on how much you want to be with the person, if you love them and think it's worth it then it can be done.

And sure there is always Skype!!

ChaseThisLight · 21-04-2012 06:58PM

I've had two.

They work when the person means something to you, when you love them, when you don't give up if things get tough.

opinion guy · 21-04-2012 08:25PM

ChaseThisLight wrote: »

I've had two.

They work when the person means something to you, when you love them, when you don't give up if things get tough.

Um.....your using the past tense though......can't have worked that well.

LDR's never work. Simple as. The reality when you finally are reunited never lives up to the fake persona's and fantasy created by the need not to fight on skype etc etc.

mikom · 21-04-2012 08:27PM

Most of Afterhours are in a long distance relationship.......

because their girlfriend lives in the future.

jaffacakesyum · 21-04-2012 08:28PM

opinion guy wrote: »

Um.....your using the past tense though......can't have worked that well.

LDR's never work. Simple as. The reality when you finally are reunited never lives up to the fake persona's and fantasy created by the need not to fight on skype etc etc.

What a stupid thing to say

Just because her relationships didn't work doesn't mean "LDR's never work. Simple as"

I know of two people in particular who have had long distance relationships and they are still together, one of those couples is now married.

AboutTwoFiddy · 21-04-2012 08:31PM

I've dated a few girls that were in LDR's, good fun.

opinion guy · 21-04-2012 08:36PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

What a stupid thing to say Just because her relationships didn't work doesn't mean "LDR's never work. Simple as"

Read it again - those are two different sentences. I didn't use the word because between them. I was not implying that because hers didn't work that LDR's don't work. No for that I rely on my extensive experience of the phenomenon both as a participant and as an observer.

I know of two people in particular who have had long distance relationships and they are still together, one of those couples is now married.

Exception that proves the rule. The .000001% that works. So far.....

Oh by the way - reported for personal abuse

Galwayguy35 · 21-04-2012 08:40PM

I've done it twice, both times doomed to failure. Eventually someone has to move and in my case it wasn't possible and it was the same story with the OH. Wouldn't try it again, only Galway women for me now.

Sofaspud · 21-04-2012 08:48PM

I'm in one. Got with my girlfriend after I'd been accepted to a uni in Cardiff, When I was with her I deferred it for a year to get what we could out of the relationship expecting it to be over by the time I came here.
I moved in with her 9 months before I came to Cardiff, and after a while didn't want to move here at all, but she encouraged me to (I had no job in Ireland despite looking hard).

I've been in Cardiff since september, and I visit her as much as possible, usually every 2 months, sometimes with only 1 month gap, and it can be tough at times but we make it work.

pragmatic1 · 21-04-2012 08:51PM

Depends how long the distance is. If its just a few hundred miles, they're deadly. You get to see them often enough without feeling cramped.

jaffacakesyum · 21-04-2012 08:54PM

opinion guy wrote: »

Read it again - those are two different sentences. I didn't use the word because between them. I was not implying that because hers didn't work that LDR's don't work. No for that I rely on my extensive experience of the phenomenon both as a participant and as an observer.

Exception that proves the rule. The .000001% that works. So far.....

Oh by the way - reported for personal abuse

How on earth do you know that it's the exception that proves the rule. I'm sure there are many people out there who have made LDR's work. I'm sure there are also many LDR's that haven't worked. Oh, and making up statistics doesn't prove anything either.

Don't know what personal abuse you're talking about but if you're that sensitive then I do apologise for offending you. This topic isn't something that I particularly care about, it's just that I think gross generalisations of 'x, y or z never work' are stupid.

It's like saying open relationships never work. I'm against open relationships myself but it doesn't mean they never work. Same goes for long distance relationships.

pawrick · 21-04-2012 08:58PM

Both myself and a friend were both seeing girls from England at the same time so we'd often meet up on the same flights etc. He's married to his one now and my relationship ended after about 18 months of taking turns every 2 to 3 weeks visiting each other- it will only last if there is a future to it where one or both of you agree to move, long term without that it won't last

ChaseThisLight · 21-04-2012 09:01PM

opinion guy wrote: »

Um.....your using the past tense though......can't have worked that well.

LDR's never work. Simple as. The reality when you finally are reunited never lives up to the fake persona's and fantasy created by the need not to fight on skype etc etc.

Just because I used past tense doesn't mean they didn't work.

The first ended mutually; and he'd gone away to school and after a year he decided to stay where he was, that he was never moving back, and I wasn't ready to move at the time, and we decided we were both too young to commit (we were both 18). And he really did never move back.

The second was a few years later, we'd been dating a year, he moved 80 miles away, we traveled to see each other, talked on the phone often, emailed, after a year he moved home, we got married, now we're divorced - also a mutually agreed ending.

As far as creating fantasies about the person you're in a LDR with so you don't fight, etc...if you can't be real with the person you're in a relationship with, if you can't truly be yourself and have them accept you for you and vice versa, then they aren't the person you should be with.

By the way, I consider them to have worked, because they worked while we were in the long distant relationship, and when they did end it was mutual and no one was hurt, and it wasn't the just the distance involved in the end, but the decisions we had to make concerning our futures.

Zaph · 21-04-2012 09:03PM

opinion guy wrote: »

LDR's never work. Simple as. The reality when you finally are reunited never lives up to the fake persona's and fantasy created by the need not to fight on skype etc etc.

I must tell that to my fiancée when she returns from her hen tomorrow. :rolleyes:

ihsb · 21-04-2012 09:17PM

I couldn't do it. If you have a bad day, who holds you?

If you are horny who shags you?

Fiona · 21-04-2012 09:24PM

ihsb wrote: »

I couldn't do it. If you have a bad day, who holds you?

If you are horny who shags you?

Teddy bear and vibrator?

long distance relationships

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