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Best one liners that you have heard

  • 16-04-2012 11:09PM
    #1
    Copper_pipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,553 ✭✭✭✭


    War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth.





    Do the people of after hours have any more?


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Paddysboys
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 49 ✭Paddysboys


    Veal is deer


  • #3
    General Relativity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 683 ✭✭✭General Relativity


    'Here you, stop touching my tits'


  • #4
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    "let off some steam.. bennet :mad:"

    *throws broken pipe through bennets stomach*




    what happened to ____ ?

    "I let him go :p"

    *remembers him hanging him over a cliff with a large drop by his ankle earlier on*


  • #5
    PogMoThoin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,873 ✭✭✭✭PogMoThoin


    The more you know, the more you know you don't know


  • #6
    Morlar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,273 ✭✭✭Morlar


    There is a Nietzsche quote which has come to mean a lot to me :
    Been around god's country, and there's one thing I know,
    There's no better place for jackin' it than San Diego!


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  • #7
    ygolometsipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 882 ✭✭✭ygolometsipe


    ok, just dont touch me!


  • #8
    forfuxsake
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 829 ✭✭✭forfuxsake


    Everybody's special and nobody's special mean exactly the same thing.


  • #9
    General Relativity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 683 ✭✭✭General Relativity


    Paddysboys wrote: »
    Veal is deer

    Veal is calf. Venison is deer.

    http://cdn.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1212/Megaman_Derp_1754708.jpg


  • #10
    Leopardi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 352 ✭✭Leopardi


    Man being told in the presence of his girlfriend that his child is "the image" of him; response from man: "yeah, you'd swear he was mine."


  • #11
    Paddysboys
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 49 ✭Paddysboys


    If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...


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  • #12
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    coraguated roofs are groovy


  • #13
    Paddysboys
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 49 ✭Paddysboys


    General Relativity wrote: »
    Paddysboys wrote: »
    Veal is deer

    Veal is calf. Venison is deer.

    http://cdn.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1212/Megaman_Derp_1754708.jpg

    Ya but veal is dearer


  • #14
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Don't whizz on the electric fence.


  • #15
    Paddysboys
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 49 ✭Paddysboys


    It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.


  • #16
    PK2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    He's more arm pit than Brad Pitt

    He's got more points on his license than he got in his leaving cert.


  • #17
    Copper_pipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,553 ✭✭✭✭Copper_pipe


    its all sh1ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh1tss


  • #18
    paddy kerins
    Site Banned Posts: 1,856 ✭✭✭paddy kerins


    You win a years supply of condoms, which in your case is four


  • #19
    CageWager
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 545 ✭✭✭CageWager


    Rented Limo, called Shotgun


  • #20
    red menace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,462 ✭✭✭red menace


    They must have been fairly fond of kids in that house when they reared him


  • #21
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    If your nose runs and your feet smell
    You're upside down


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  • #22
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    PogMoThoin wrote: »
    The more you know, the more you know you don't know

    that sounds like something donald rumsfeld would say

    "there are known knows, and there are unknown knowns"

    *head explodes*


  • #23
    bennyineire
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,559 ✭✭✭bennyineire


    "she has a tongue that would clip a hedge" from Darby O'Gill and the little people


  • #24
    mjp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭mjp


    One d lads talking about having a girlfriend

    "If your not cheating,Your not competing "

    Another classic."Out tonight eating Calypos and riding hippos"

    Quality!!!!


  • #25
    Mr.Biscuits
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Mr.Biscuits


    "The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing".


  • #26
    kincsem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭kincsem


    Silent screen film actress Jean Harlow (b 1911) was at a dinner party and continuously addressed Margot Asquith (wife of British prime minister Herbert Asquith) as "Margot", pronouncing the "T".

    Margot finally had enough and said to her, "No, Jean, the 'T' is silent, like in 'Harlow'".


  • #27
    marty1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 788 ✭✭✭marty1985


    Truth is not determined by a majority vote.


  • #28
    Wereghost
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 324 ✭✭Wereghost


    "Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."

    - Oz (Seth Green) from Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode Dead Man's Party.


  • #29
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    "Second hand baby's shoes for sale: never worn."

    Have a great night everyone!


  • #30
    Yamanoto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,489 ✭✭✭Yamanoto


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    "Baby's shoes for sale: never worn."

    Have a great night everyone!

    Zola Budd?


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  • #31
    pebbles21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    He who laughs last, didn't get the joke!


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