I got rats (Or something).

Bipolar Joe · 12-04-2012 02:03AM #1

I can hear rustling in my music room, went in to to have a look but couldn't see anything, and the rustling had stopped. Went back to bed, few minutes and I hear rustling. I could sometimes hear them scratching about in the attic, but now they've ventured down I'd like to get them to leave. I know they gotta live some place, but they don't pay bills or even buy their own food.

I don't want to use a snappy death machine thing or set up some sort of Rube Goldberg device with which to catch them. How do I go about this, AH?

mackg · 12-04-2012 02:05AM

Had a mouse in a house I lived in before, set traps but never got the fecker so one night I cornered it and killed it with a pitching wedge.

DO NOT TRY THIS WITH A RAT

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 12-04-2012 02:05AM

Id buy a ferret. Then start a new thread seeking advice on how to get rid of a ferret.

dodderangler · 12-04-2012 02:07AM

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Id buy a ferret. Then start a new thread seeking advice on how to get rid of a ferret.

Get ferret definately he'd find it no problem mine would anyway

Bipolar Joe · 12-04-2012 02:08AM

Can I borrow your ferret?

Chuck Stone · 12-04-2012 02:09AM

What do you call a guy rolling about in leaves?

Russell.

Washington Irving · 12-04-2012 02:09AM

Ferret

Mr. Rager · 12-04-2012 02:09AM

Lure them with promises of school photos, locks of hair and a Communion suit.

Oh wait, rats? I though you said paedophiles.

Doc · 12-04-2012 02:10AM

I hear the pied piper is pretty effective on getting rid of rats. Just make sure you pay him on time if you’ve got any kids you want to keep.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 12-04-2012 02:11AM

Don't forget you'll need a mink to get rid of a ferret. Then a mongoose to snuff out the mink..

Bipolar Joe · 12-04-2012 02:11AM

Mr. Rager wrote: »

Lure them with promises of school photos, locks of hair and a Communion suit.

Oh wait, rats? I though you said paedophiles.

That makes no sense.

policarp · 12-04-2012 02:12AM

Get a piccolo. Play a few tunes. They will follow you. Lead them towards a steep cliff and jump.
Keep playing 'till you hit the deck.
Problem solved. . .

Bipolar Joe · 12-04-2012 02:12AM

Gonna make a run at it now with the house I used to keep my hamster in, I can hear it at the door. Actually quite scary.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-04-2012 02:12AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

That makes no sense.

Paedorat.

EDDIE WATERS · 12-04-2012 02:12AM

Think thats bad I got crabs

dodderangler · 12-04-2012 02:14AM

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Don't forget you'll need a mink to get rid of a ferret. Then a mongoose to snuff out the mink..

Are u mad ferret would easily take on a mink

wilkie2006 · 12-04-2012 02:14AM

mackg wrote: »

Had a mouse in a house I lived in before, set traps but never got the fecker so one night I cornered it and killed it with a pitching wedge.

DO NOT TRY THIS WITH A RAT

LOL, I like that you put your caveat in capitals there

"...yea, bash it with fcuking golf club or a wine bottle or sumthin but don't - I repeat, DON'T - go near a rat with that $hit."

bgrizzley · 12-04-2012 02:14AM

hypnotise them into thinking they are lemmings, then leave a map to the cliffs of moher on the coffee table.

dodderangler · 12-04-2012 02:15AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Can I borrow your ferret?

Where u livin
Could be squirrels in there aswell

Mr. Rager · 12-04-2012 02:15AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Mr. Rager wrote: »

Lure them with promises of school photos, locks of hair and a Communion suit.

Oh wait, rats? I though you said paedophiles.

That makes no sense.

It's two o'clock in the morning and I was trying to be funny, but it was in fact a shít joke.

To answer your question, get a Jack Russell. They were bred for killing vermin. Crazy little motherfúckers.

Smidge · 12-04-2012 02:15AM

my music room

You have a music room:eek:
Get Jeeves to catch the beast;)

Bipolar Joe · 12-04-2012 02:22AM

dodderangler wrote: »

Where u livin
Could be squirrels in there aswell

I'm in Limerick, but make trips to Dublin once in a while. I'll pay your bus fare if you do come down, I'll even make you dinner and coffee.

Also, yeah, I have a music room, in my sh!tty apartment I can't afford despite the cheap rent. I'm a starving musician.

x_Ellie_x · 12-04-2012 02:26AM

Get some ham and use it to lure a stray cat into your house, wait till the cat kills the mouse or rat then pick the cat up and fcuk it out.

Crann na Beatha · 12-04-2012 02:27AM

This post has been deleted.

The Gnome · 12-04-2012 02:29AM

It's far to late now, it's probably laid thousands of eggs by now. The only solution is to burn the place to the ground.

Rats lay eggs, right?

Dunny · 12-04-2012 02:29AM

Better move house. The rats own it now.

stupidusername · 12-04-2012 02:30AM

I got gas. (or something)

yeah my housemate shouted for me a couple of hours ago, awful smell coming up through his floorboards. its out on the street and everything, up through the whole apartment block... rang bord gais and all. they came out. turns out it's not gas. so it's something. it's hurting my lungs though, and my housemate is sleeping on the couch because the smell is too bad in his room.

so send me yer rats, they'll not like this smell too much.

dodderangler · 12-04-2012 02:30AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

dodderangler wrote: »

Where u livin
Could be squirrels in there aswell

I'm in Limerick, but make trips to Dublin once in a while. I'll pay your bus fare if you do come down, I'll even make you dinner and coffee.

Also, yeah, I have a music room, in my sh!tty apartment I can't afford despite the cheap rent. I'm a starving musician.

Limerick
Man there's more ferrets down there than people I'm sure if u knocked around you'd get one that where I got my two

wilkie2006 · 12-04-2012 02:31AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Gonna make a run at it now with the house I used to keep my hamster in, I can hear it at the door. Actually quite scary.

Did you have a look? What's the story then? You might be able to get the council to sort it out (if it's a rat, that is)

Smidge · 12-04-2012 02:31AM

In fairness you'll kinda know if it's rats or mice. Rats dont give a s88t and will makes noise all over the house. Mice are generally more congenial and will only be heard at times

Dunny · 12-04-2012 02:32AM

http://www.donedeal.ie/for-sale/otheranimals/2970021

I got rats (Or something).

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