Horrible things you've done under the influence

TeddyTedson · 11-04-2012 11:29PM #1

Saw a bloke in the queue for a very successful Dublin nightclub be approached by a drunken homeless man asking for change.
He was most definitely a heroin user.
He had a half bottle of vodka on him and the bloke in the queue offered him a few quid for it.
They did the deal and the guy drank the vodka straight out of the bottle.
Nasty as fook!

I could just never drink that.
Obviously alcohol alters your awareness and everything like that but even in my worst states that's something I'd just never do.
Just wondering if any boardies have any good stories of such events? (Because I certainly didn't

)

Ghandee · 11-04-2012 11:31PM

I kissed a girl and I liked it:eek:

It tasted of her cherry chap stick!

Doc Ruby · 11-04-2012 11:32PM

Posted on boards once, got banned from AH, and that takes some doing.

Deus Ex Machina · 11-04-2012 11:32PM

I once had a roasting sweaty hairy **** over Jade Goody's tits in Hello magazine at 4:00 am after a night of striking out.

The Internet Explorer · 11-04-2012 11:33PM

Brick.

IM0 · 11-04-2012 11:33PM

Ghandee wrote: »

I kissed a girl and I liked it:eek:

It tasted of her cherry chap stick!

is this the new competition for firing ping pong balls now

Brendog · 11-04-2012 11:35PM

stole a load of drinks and ripped my top in half and walked home topless wearing my t-shirt scarf...

.....uuurrrgggg :mad:

The King of Moo · 11-04-2012 11:35PM

Talked at length about Arthurian legends.

hairyprincess · 11-04-2012 11:37PM

I'd say the most horrible thing I've done is talk to God on the big white telephone.
Did and talked some funny **** though

Mint Sauce · 11-04-2012 11:39PM

Wouldn't say she was horrible......

TeddyTedson · 11-04-2012 11:41PM

Yes yes my ma! I get it already. How many times....

...wait:p

Guill · 11-04-2012 11:43PM

Debated the theory of evolution and how isn't everything just a theory?
NO?
But all we see is a 2d representation of a 3D object, so how can we be sure what things look like? All science is technically just a very best guess so everything is a theory. Therefore evolution is a theory, as is gravity.
When you see an orange and i see an orange do we both see it as the same colour? If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? No, because sound is just our ear drums vibrating due to ripples in the air, the ripples are there but no ear drums = no sound....
Should all ugly people be sterilised? Should all 'evil' people be sterilised? What is evil? Isn't my opinion of it just what i have been taught?

And so on until 8am.

Bipolar Joe · 11-04-2012 11:47PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

Talked at length about Arthurian legends.

I would hang with you, King. You're my type of person.

I have no answer, just a few funny stories.

herisson · 11-04-2012 11:50PM

basically dry humped one of the buskers on Grafton Street one night...not my finest moment

destroyed a couch, lamp, locker and curtains also

Immaculate Pasta · 11-04-2012 11:51PM

I once fell asleep at the hotel bar after drinking for three quarters of an hour (we were drinking ladyboys) with two former work colleagues while we were filming a corporate boat video. While drunk I then wondered off into the kitchens to cook all the food. Then I went back into my room and was sick everywhere and fell asleep standing up leaning against my sink for 8 hours. After I woke up, I walked downstairs to have breakfast and didn't even wash my hands. And why? Because I'm a ruddy bloke :cool:

herisson · 11-04-2012 11:55PM

i also fell asleep in a phonebox and on a strange guy in a nightclub!

mackg · 12-04-2012 12:00AM

A mate of mine won a bottle of buckfast off a homeless guy one night in an arm wrestling match.

I have a friend who has a habit of taking shits in the middle of public roads.

dazzlemoo · 12-04-2012 12:04AM

Myself and the OH were in a country pub one day and I was drinking red wine, which I hadn't had before..Next thing, I'm rushing out to the Ladies to vomit but I didn't make the toilet and vommed into the sink.
Worst thing was..I was the only woman in the pub at the time so they would have known it was me.

Millicent · 12-04-2012 12:05AM

I once slept in a shed. No fucking clue how I managed to get over the lawnmower and tools and shit to sleep on an old busted couch because when I tried to get back in there sober to retrieve my shoes, I snotted myself.

mackg · 12-04-2012 12:10AM

Millicent wrote: »

I once slept in a shed. No fucking clue how I managed to get over the lawnmower and tools and shit to sleep on an old busted couch because when I tried to get back in there sober to retrieve my shoes, I snotted myself.

Reminds me, I once slept in the boot of a Ford Fiesta, arched over the spare tyre covered in my own puke. The following morning I got a lift home off my mom, aunt and uncle who had just come from church. That was a low point.

brummytom · 12-04-2012 12:11AM

Danced with a 50 year old woman

Got off with a 60 year old woman

Numerous drunken texts

Told a girl I could see her fanny

Pissed in my mom's wardrobe

Fell asleep on the bar, losing my passport in the process

Argued I could finish a crate. Doing so, being locked in the garden to sober up and falling asleep against the back door.

Poured a drink over my friend's head in the middle of Cavan Main St then had an incredibly poor scrap

Texting a lad I don't particularly like 'You're ridiculously gay'

Turned down sex, numerous times

Acquired many items of clothing I still have. Including a hat, sunglasses, 3D glasses, a Guinness Hat and a watch

Sang to my friend, wearing a back to front cap shouting 'I'MDENIS CAHILL'

Sang 'I Useta Lover' in a session. Forgot the words and screamed
Probably far more that no one's willing to tell me.

skinny90 · 12-04-2012 12:15AM

round 5ish in a hotel in louth i had an aul walk around the place....all of a sudden i found myself in a store room full of alcohol,crates,bottles of wine/champagne, the whole works.lets just say the case was full to the brim with all sorts....silly hotel:cool:

Princess Peach · 12-04-2012 12:53AM

Vommed on the bathroom floor.
Vommed on the kitchen table
Vommed on a bouncer's shoe.
Molested many a bouncer
Asked a Chinese girl how she felt towards the Mongolians.
Stole a guy's tie.
Stole a guy's hat
Stole a few drinks
Kissed too many boys in the same club on the same night
Allowed myself to be molested by my brother's 40 year old married friend
Showed a vibrator I had won at an Ann Summers party to an entire nightclub
Smoked the lit end of a cigarette

Does admitting it absolve my sins????

fkt · 12-04-2012 12:57AM

I think I'd have the police around pretty rapidly if I answered this honestly. I'm not even joking. Sad memories.

Millicent · 12-04-2012 01:00AM

A friend of mine's crowning glory was when she put her head under the bar, puked down her front, then went home and changed into a green top and red trousers before heading back out to the nightclub. :pac:

castletownman · 12-04-2012 01:01AM

I've done a lot of crazy stuff when I've been drunk but probably the most horrible thing that I've done is probably when I fingered a girl outside the local nightclub before crossing the road to the chipper and eating my friend's chips with the same hand!

Where To · 12-04-2012 01:02AM

Made nuisance phone calls to the Vatican at the time Pope John Paul II was dying!!

. . . . From the phone at work

. . . . . To entertain a bar full of customers

. . . . . Amazingly I didn't get the sack

44leto · 12-04-2012 01:04AM

Spit my mcDonalds coke on the ground splashing but a sergeant Ban Gardai stepped out in it's path, I really did not see her there behind the pillar at the GPO.

She got me aside her male junior was smirking and I apologised to the point of crawling and she told me to go on.

superblu · 12-04-2012 01:11AM

castletownman wrote: »

I've done a lot of crazy stuff when I've been drunk but probably the most horrible thing that I've done is probably when I fingered a girl outside the local nightclub before crossing the road to the chipper and eating my friend's chips with the same hand!

Quality....

Millicent · 12-04-2012 01:12AM

The last time I ever got drunk was a few years ago on my birthday--the first I had spent with my now long-term boyfriend. After drinking some crazy Polish vodka with what appeared to be a stalk of grass in it and whatever free drinks were shoved at me, I ended up very drunk in a taxi rank, complaining that I wanted a burger.

My boyfriend turned to a friend of mine, who told him it was very sweet that he had finally caved and got me one, to which he replied he didn't. He turned to see me horsing into a burger with its owner (who turned out to be a neighbour I had never met and thankfully never have again) beside me looking crestfallen as I nommed.

He then shoved me into a taxi as quickly as possible, where I told the taxi driver (who I knew very well) to fuck off when he told me not to vomit. (I'm usually polite to the point of being a doormat.)

He got me home and I proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom, puke, then cry. As my boyfriend was knocking on the door to help me, I slipped on the puke and fall into the bathtub and cried some more.

Surprisingly, more than five years later, we're still going out!

superblu · 12-04-2012 01:13AM

I tried to get into the bed with my owld lad after being out on the beer

Horrible things you've done under the influence

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