Are you an alcoholic?

The Big Red Button · 10-04-2012 02:52PM

Kaner2004 wrote: »

I drink less than even a pint a month. Firstly because I would rather have the car, secondly because it gives me heartburn. Thirdly I couldnt care less whether I drink alco or miwadi.

Q: Is drinking affecting your reputation?

Yes. Because people are starting to suspect i am an alcoholic as being the reason I dont drink much.

Q: Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?

Yes. Once when I got sick 25 years ago during rag week at uni.

Q: Has your ambition decreased since drinking?

Yes. It decreases with age.

Q: Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

Yes. I get mad indigestion and cant sleep after a pint.

Q: Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?

Yes. As I get older.

Q: Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of drinking?

Yes. 25 years ago during rag week at uni.

So obviously I am a alcoholic.

But it does say, at the start of the test, to use the past twelve months as a timeframe ...

SunnyDub1 · 10-04-2012 02:53PM

Seachmall wrote: »

So, I'm giving up drinking (for a short while anyway) for various reasons. One of them is not that I'm an alcoholic, well, at least I didn't think I was. However, according to about.com's test, based on a test from Johns Hopkins University Hospital, I have definite signs that my drinking patterns are harmful and I show signs of being an alcoholic.

Here's the test.

It only takes a minute to do.

I got 4 yeses which apparently mean I'm at least leading down a bad road, although to me it seems like a lot gotcha questions, i.e. so general that you have to answer yes (although that could be my inner alcoholic rationalising!).

So how do you fare up? Are you an alco?

This is a load of crap :rolleyes: if you answer one question you will prob be accused of becoming an alcoholic

Funglegunk · 10-04-2012 02:55PM

I'm a functioning alcoholic who is slowly realising that drinking until you get absolutely useless is kind of a waste of money. Getting old I suppose.

amacachi · 10-04-2012 02:58PM

The criteria for being an alcoholic are like a woman looking for a row. "Go a while without, just to see if you can." "OK." "Aha! That's one of the signs!"

frozenfrozen · 10-04-2012 03:03PM

i was too drunk to answer the questions

SteoL · 10-04-2012 03:05PM

Denial, one of the first stages of alcoholism

ScumLord · 10-04-2012 03:06PM

That test is a bollox so I smacked it in the jaw.

stovelid · 10-04-2012 03:22PM

The craving thing is a bit ambiguous. Of course I crave a drink at weekends. Like I crave coffee in the morning or sex after hearing Gemmma Hayes.

saa · 10-04-2012 03:23PM

I'm Irish.

Malari · 10-04-2012 03:24PM

This "drinking alone" thing crops up all the time. Getting drunk alone is different to drinking alone. So if I have a glass of wine cooking dinner some nights before my boyfriend gets home it's a danger sign?! If he has a beer while he's doing a bit of DIY in the evening before while I'm out it's a symptom? :mad:

hurling11 · 10-04-2012 03:33PM

Alcoholism Screening Quiz

You answered 12 items out of 20 Yes.

Your score is 60%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than half of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible

I went out saturday night, sunday night, and monday until about eight o clock, answered the majority of these questions in the last weekend..:(.think i'll go off the beer for a while...

suicide_circus · 10-04-2012 03:34PM

Kaner2004 wrote: »

I drink less than even a pint a month. Firstly because I would rather have the car, secondly because it gives me heartburn. Thirdly I couldnt care less whether I drink alco or miwadi.

Q: Is drinking affecting your reputation?

Yes. Because people are starting to suspect i am an alcoholic as being the reason I dont drink much.

Q: Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?

Yes. Once when I got sick 25 years ago during rag week at uni.

Q: Has your ambition decreased since drinking?

Yes. It decreases with age.

Q: Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

Yes. I get mad indigestion and cant sleep after a pint.

Q: Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?

Yes. As I get older.

Q: Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of drinking?

Yes. 25 years ago during rag week at uni.

So obviously I am a alcoholic.

You're in denial. You're a filthy stinkin thundering alco and it's tearing your family apart.

juan.kerr · 10-04-2012 03:36PM

Seachmall wrote: »

So how do you fare up? Are you an alco?

No.

WoollyRedHat · 10-04-2012 03:40PM

I think we may need to rename After Hours to Alcoholics Anoymous?

Or just Happy Hours.

Fizman · 10-04-2012 03:41PM

I haven't drank in 65 days!

/High-fives himself.

wobbles-grogan · 10-04-2012 03:46PM

From the quiz site thing wrote:

You answered 20 items out of 20 Yes.

Your score is 100%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered all of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible

No **** sherlock... :pac:

super_furry · 10-04-2012 03:46PM

I'm an Irish social drinker, which translates to an American alcoholic.

ScumLord · 10-04-2012 03:53PM

Fizman wrote: »

I haven't drank in 65 days!

/High-fives himself.

According to this test your still an alcoholic.

some random drunk · 10-04-2012 04:20PM

I only answered yes to 2 out of 20 or 10%. Maybe I should change my username....

In all seriousness though, that test is ridiculously strict, and the questions are too vague for it to be a reliable indicator that you have a drinking problem.

yosemite_sam · 10-04-2012 04:24PM

I probably am, I drink two nights a week but never leave when I should

brummytom · 10-04-2012 04:37PM

You answered 11 items out of 20 Yes.

Your score is 55%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than 3 questions Yes you should seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional.

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.

What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

Immaculate Pasta · 10-04-2012 04:38PM

super_furry wrote: »

I'm an Irish social drinker, which translates to an American alcoholic.

Agreed. This sums up my feeling to it at all. I don't like the term alcoholic. Alcoholics exist, of course they do, and it's a serious problem if you are one but, I think it's branded around far too much these days. It's yet another sensationalising everything thanks to domineering American culture and TV. All this Rehab bollocks that American's sprout is a load of rubbish. It seems to be the answer to everything.

Standard American TV show

"Dude I drank so much last night man.

No way man. You gotta get your ass to rehab man. This can be like your intervention man.

Yeah man I must be at the lowest of the low man.

*2 days later*

Yeah I'm out man. Woo! *high fives friend* I'm on a 12 step programme now man. I've got my sponsor dude.

I'm proud of you man woo!"

*end of character story arc* :cool:

shopaholic01 · 10-04-2012 05:05PM

brummytom wrote: »

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.

What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

Sitting on a bench drinking methylated spirits out of a paper bag with the winos

Corvo · 10-04-2012 05:13PM

"You answered 13 items out of 20 Yes.
Your score is 65%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than half of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible"

I'm fooked anyway lads

HalloweenJack · 10-04-2012 05:48PM

some random drunk wrote: »

the questions are too vague for it to be a reliable indicator that you have a drinking problem.

Agreed. One I answered yes to was along the lines of "Have you ended up in hospital because of drinking?".

I have. One night, when very drunk, I got in a fight and ended up with a broken nose. To me, it was an indirect result of drinking. I think the question means "Did you ever get so drunk you had to have your stomach pumped?", which, in my case, is no.

However, the vagueness of the question means you'd probably fail a lie detector test if you said no.

Namlub · 10-04-2012 06:24PM

brummytom wrote: »

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.

What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

I assumed it meant that point in the night where you end up with people you don't really like, telling them how much you love them. Happens to me a lot...

I got 8 and I'm an alcoholic. It's all so clear now.

Morag · 10-04-2012 06:27PM

No.
Alcochoics go to meetings.

shopaholic01 · 10-04-2012 06:37PM

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Agreed. One I answered yes to was along the lines of "Have you ended up in hospital because of drinking?".

I have. One night, when very drunk, I got in a fight and ended up with a broken nose. To me, it was an indirect result of drinking. I think the question means "Did you ever get so drunk you had to have your stomach pumped?", which, in my case, is no.

However, the vagueness of the question means you'd probably fail a lie detector test if you said no.

LOL, just noticed your user name. So, is it true? Are you really a 'real cool cat and do you live on top of Manhatten chase'?:D

Ted_YNWA · 10-04-2012 06:49PM

only have a drink problem when i dont have any

jaspertheghost · 10-04-2012 07:01PM

thats a load of horse sh**e...if ya answered 3 your an alco....that would surely make us all pissheads....right im off for a few cans..yay

Are you an alcoholic?

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