Old School Parenting v New School Parenting

slum dog · 07-03-2012 02:11PM #1

I was having a dicussion with a work colleague recently. He told me at home, that out of principle he would never cook dinner. In his opinion, he said that this was a woman's role and that he would never do it. After his wife died, he raised his kids to do the same, presumably his female kids.

In contrast to this, I was watching the midday show on tv3 which i normally do, and after watching the militant feminist (who never seems to shut her mouth for one second about the evils of irish men) she said that she was not going to raise her son to be another 'lazy irish man', and would frog march him to the washing machine if clothes ever needed to be cleaned.
Personally i find her opinions of irish men generally offensive, since i wouldnt consider myself a lazy irishman.

who would you be more inclined to agree with? personally i think if they're your kids, you have the right the raise them anyway you want, regardless of what society demands of people.

JonnyM · 07-03-2012 02:13PM

done before.

Babybuff · 07-03-2012 02:13PM

rabble rabble rabble

summerskin · 07-03-2012 02:13PM

Your friend sounds like a dick.

Noopti · 07-03-2012 02:14PM

Do you mean Chauvinism versus Feminism?

Son Of A Vidic · 07-03-2012 02:14PM

Somehow I don't think this thread is really about parenting.

Ave Sodalis · 07-03-2012 02:14PM

There's always gonna be extremism :rolleyes:

I Heart Internet · 07-03-2012 02:15PM

Neither of them. They both sound crazy.

I know of elderly men who have had to go to old-peopl/nursing homes because their wives died and they didn't know how to run a house. They were healthy and mobile......just didn't pick up those basic skills.

Celly Smunt · 07-03-2012 02:20PM

I like cooking,Cleaning is the womans job.

RUUUUN!

hooradiation · 07-03-2012 02:22PM

Cooking is awesome, your work colleague is a twit.

slum dog · 07-03-2012 02:24PM

hooradiation wrote: »

Cooking is awesome, your work colleague is a twit.

thats not fair. some cultures are like that

Logical Fallacy · 07-03-2012 02:28PM

Your work friend is missing out on some great memories with his kids.

I remember being younger and Mam would go off to visit a friend of my gran or something. Me and Dad would stay at home and cook the most monumental ****ing fry up in history, home made chips...the whole show.

We'd eat until we could hardly move then lash on Die Hard and go into a coma. Mam would arrive home and we'd be passed out with the meat sweats.

hooradiation · 07-03-2012 02:28PM

slum dog wrote: »

thats not fair. some cultures are like that

There's a culture of denying yourself a perfectly useful skill because you have a notion that it's the sole preserve of a particular gender?

He's a goddamn moron.

kfallon · 07-03-2012 02:30PM

Oh my Lord after reading that OP I am thoroughly sickened to the pit of my stomach.....somebody actually watches Midday? :pac:

ScumLord · 07-03-2012 02:31PM

slum dog wrote: »

I personally i think if they're your kids, you have the right the raise them anyway you want, regardless of what society demands of people.

I don't think that, kids are just small ignorant people. It's the parents obligation to teach that animal how to survive. Surviving for humans means teaching them how to get information and be sociable. If they can't wash their own clothes or feed themselves the parents have failed no matter what sex or class they the child is in.

Children are not projects or slaves that parents can do with what they wish. If anything parents should be slaves to their kids as it's their obligation to prepare them for the world not turn the child into an incompetent adult.

Beruthiel · 07-03-2012 02:32PM

Yup. Great idea.
Deny your son the knowledge of knowing how to cook and feed himself once he leaves home.
Sure why would he need that skill when there are so many healthy takeaways out there to choose from.
He won't get fat or die young from heart disease. That's just a myth propagated by all those femnazies.

ScumLord · 07-03-2012 02:38PM

Beruthiel wrote: »

Sure why would he need that skill when there are so many healthy takeaways out there to choose from.

Sure he probably won't know how to order food from the chipper and when they don't cut the crusts off for him he'll sulk himself into starvation.

Chuck Stone · 07-03-2012 02:42PM

Just give the kids a good slap I reckon.

cynder · 07-03-2012 02:43PM

My husband was never allowed to cook at home, wasnt even allowed to make himself a cup of tea, when he moved in with me i had to show him how to cook (he figured the tea out by himself after years of watching). He was the one with his college degree that threw water on a chip pan fire, because his mother thought men shouldnt cook and never even gave him the basics...

He loves cooking and if he knew then, what he knows now, he would have trained as a chef.

*cant let him near a washing machine, even last week he put the liquid soap in the conditioner dispenser and nothing in the soap powder dispenser and clothes (darks and lights) in the drum.

My kids love baking my boys are 5 and 6, my daughter who is 12 can cook a Sunday roast, spag bol, pizza, chips, stir fry and so on. Its good to teach both male and females how to cook and clean and to look after themselves.

kylith · 07-03-2012 02:49PM

I do know some men, late twenties/early thirties, who have no idea how to use a washing machine, dryer, or dishwasher, and who struggle to cook anything but the most basic of meals. I do think that it is the fault of their mothers, who never let them learn how to do these things. Thankfully they seem to have the desire to learn, unlike the older generation. If my mother died before my father he'd have no idea how to do the washing, and would probably life on bacon and cabbage for the rest of his life.

My mother made sure everyone in my family could follow a recipe and work basic appliances, and I intend to do the same.

biko · 07-03-2012 02:52PM

All my kids will know basic cooking and basic car/house maintenance, regardless of gender.

seamus · 07-03-2012 02:53PM

kylith wrote: »

I do know some men, late twenties/early thirties, who have no idea how to use a washing machine, dryer, or dishwasher, and who struggle to cook anything but the most basic of meals. I do think that it is the fault of their mothers

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

Martyn1989 · 07-03-2012 02:53PM

Cooking and cleaning are two things that will do a lad well, especially when it comes time to meet the ladies. Ive been cooking and washing clothes since I was 12, its not hard but it is amazing how people get it wrong.

Cleaning isn't rocket science but we all know people who cant do it, when they try to clean something its never clean.

tigger123 · 07-03-2012 02:58PM

seamus wrote: »

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

I'd definitely agree with this. I'd find it very hard to take anyone who is in 20's or 30's seriously if they couldn't cook or use a washing machine.

AeoNGriM · 07-03-2012 03:02PM

JonnyM wrote: »

done before.

And you made absolutely no useful contribution to it then either

:rolleyes:

ejmaztec · 07-03-2012 03:06PM

grindelwald wrote: »

My kids love baking my boys

:eek:

kylith · 07-03-2012 03:16PM

seamus wrote: »

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Oh, I agree, but apparently all the 'hot wash', 'cool wash' things are very confusing. And why should they bother learning when mammy will wash their clothes for them?

seamus wrote: »

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

Again, i agree, but the topic has been covered in the cooking forum several times. Apparently to people with zero background in cooking even something as simple as 'dice the carrots' is a daunting command - what are dice? How big should they be? And so on.

Like yourself I think this is laziness; in a world with Youtube there is no excuse for not being able to cook at all.

Stiffler2 · 07-03-2012 03:44PM

The female jobs get split in my household.

Basically I do the cooking most nights and the hoovering.
She does the washing & ironing.

I'm happy with my deal.....
don't think I could bring myself to iron, washing - well maybe is she isn't around but i'd probably end up turning all my clothes pink & shrinking them.

Don't get me started on the ironing though.

Morag · 07-03-2012 03:50PM

Stiffler2 wrote: »

The female jobs get split in my household.

They are not female jobs, they are just the housework.

Lollipops23 · 07-03-2012 04:08PM

My dad had to learn to fend for himself quite early on, as his mother was in very poor health and he had 3 younger siblings to look after.
The result is a middle aged man who cooks the best fry up, chilli, lasagna and curries I've ever tasted.

My step mother's brothers were a different story- they couldn't even make tea when they moved out of home.

Personally I find it awful that some mothers molly coddle their sons so much that they can't even feed themselves. They're just doing them a disservice.

Indubitable · 07-03-2012 04:11PM

Is it really necessary to actively teach children how to cook or do their laundry etc? I don't remember ever having to do any of these things when I was a child yet when I moved out I was self sufficient in cooking and cleaning. I suppose throwing some clothes in the washing machine isn't that hard really.

and that colleague of your might want to broaden his horizons a little.

Old School Parenting v New School Parenting

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