Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

I don't think its wrong to want that. I think if I had a girlfriend who wasn't... like me, we wouldn't have been together nearly 5 years. She and I totally... understand it. So we know how to support each other. And she is the reason, I will never kill myself. Not ever. Cos I love her so much,

Would you date someone who was depressed Midlandsmissus?

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Yeah you're right there. I think it's a worry that a lot of depressed people have that the minute we tell some-one they'll run for the hills. But maybe they won't...

My last ex said he didn't have a problem with it. I was honest with him about it from the start and he acted like he was fine with it all, and that he'd be there for me if I needed it, blah blah blah......Then, after one single incident of me not having a good night, he decides to dump me a few days before my birthday. "I don't love you anymore 'cause you're too negative" was the response I got. Charming. :rolleyes: The breakup itself didn't really hurt (tbh, I never really loved him the same way he loved me, even though I was beginning to feel it just as it suddenly ended) but the timing was a massive kick in the teeth. The year before, I had got dumped the night before my birthday, and I shared this with him because I trusted him. He swore he'd never do anything like that. Lying ****er. :rolleyes: The thing that pissed me off most was that he didn't even give me my birthday present; after we broke up, he returned it to the shop rather than letting me have it. I mean what kind of cheap asshole does that?

jammstarr wrote:

Is it wrong that I'd actually like to meet someone who's experienced depression herself? Like she'd totally understand as opposed to just paying lip service

It's not wrong at all, it's totally understandable. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that you still won't get hurt. You might imagine it to be easier being with someone who's also depressed, it's not always the case unfortunately.

My first ex (the one who dumped me the night before my birthday and who, unlike the second ex, I happened to be head over heels in love with) had his own issues with depression. Throughout our relationship, he was doing worse than I was so I tried my best to be there for him as much as I could, even though we lived fairly far apart. When the tide turned, and he began to feel better while I began to feel worse, he dumped me because he thought we were too "emotionally dependent." So basically it was fine for him to turn to me every time he was having trouble, but when I needed the same in return it was suddenly out of line! (There was the whole distance thing too, which was a perfectly valid reason for ending a relationship. But the "emotionally dependent" part stuck in my mind; it made me feel guilty just for trying my best to be supportive.)

Anyway, the result of all this lovelife disaster has left me afraid to even go out with anyone anymore. I don't want to be the person who keeps getting dumped for things that are out of my control. And I don't enjoy my birthday anymore either; two years in a row is just hell. I guess 'cause I'm still only 22 it's too early for me to be worrying about being alone. But I just can't trust anyone now.

I know this isn't PI, but the above experiences have really hindered me in trying to get over being depressed. I was sick recently and allowed my mind to wander while I was feeling down. Dwelling too much on the past always makes me feel so empty and lonely, so I try not to do it too much. But when I'm sick, and my body feels crap, my mind insists on feeling the same. It sucks so much.

I'm sorry for this mini-essay; wrote a similar piece in AH last night 'cause I felt so crap about myself. Worse than I've felt for a few months. Overall, 2012 has been pretty good to me so far. I shouldn't be feeling so down right now. I mean, I woke this morning in great form for some inexplicable reason! But as the day went on, that quickly wore down and now I'm left feeling closer to how I was last night.

Again, sorry for talking so much. I'll shut up now.

nesf wrote: »

Yes. Constantly. It's an awful lot of work to not do it but if you try hard enough and long enough you can do it and train yourself to spot quickly when you're going into brooding mode and nip it in the bud. I don't think it's possible to stop the automatic negative thoughts popping into your head but it is possible to change how you react to them. This is the basis of the cognitive theory of depression if I'm not mistaken. I've found it very helpful but it's bloody hard work and without medication I don't think I'd be "with it" enough to do it.*


*This doesn't work for everybody unfortunately.

Is that something like ruminating? I've tried to break the cycle before but it's very difficult to do.

Hope everything's going ok for everybody

Likewise degausser, if you've any questions about hospital feel free to send a PM my way.

I've been distracted all weekend by my new game console, so it was ok I had my birthday on saturday, but I was so down all day, felt like bursting into tears all day
Day 2.

Looked at tumblr >.< should't have really. Some bad images on there. Surprised that site is even legal

Gremlinertia wrote: »

was feeling kinda numb/nothing all day, then all of a sudden got on a run of thought and now there's been tears sitting in my eyes for the last three hours. What (nearly) made me laugh is i'm nearly in tears because i was thinking about thinking - i f*****g hate when i'm this stupid, tiniest thing can drop me. The dog better be prepared for ranting later!

You any better now?

talullah wrote: »

Actually, a question....is it acceptable to ring in sick to work because of depression, i mean like actually give that reason, like 'sorry boss but can't get outa bed today'? (obviously not phrasing it exactly like that) reason i ask is that there are times i physically can not go to work because of depression but if i ring in i just say i have a bug or whatever. My boss knows i suffer depression (but the impression i get from him is that i had a breakdown, im on pills, i'm grand now, just have to get on with it) so like i wouldn't get in trouble would i if i rang and told him the truth would i??

I've missed an obscene amount of work because of it and was completely honest with them why. Do you have a good relationship with your bosses? Could make the difference.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Afraid not. The thoughts are spiralling downwards so think i'll be taking to bed soon. Awful hard to pull out of when i get on certain trains of thought. Oh well.

I know what you mean. Maybe if you can get a good rest tonight it might help

talullah wrote: »

I suppose it would be a good enough relationship, he's always seen me as sort of a 'golden' employee, but sometimes i feel like he'd be thinking "aw here we go again, why is she being so stupid" I think the reason i think that is because i tried talking to him about being rostered in for every day one week to cover someone who was on holidays. I tried to tell him that it was too much for me and i cant cope with those hours and he straight away shot me down and brought it back to how i basically left them in the lurch for a week around christmas because of the depression and that everyone struggles from time to time and have to get on with it. I was so shocked by his reaction to me that it's frightened me off trying to speak to him again regarding hours or depression. but as it is a real illness that i cant just snap out of, i think maybe i shouldnt lie about why i cant make it in to work....but at the same time i'm afraid to tell the truth if that makes any sense.

For years I was calling in sick saying I had the flu etc and ended up getting loads of warnings because of it. When I was honest with them I noticed they were less eager to write me up because of it. I was working for a big enough company at the time so maybe that stood to me too, hard to know if it'd be the same in smaller places. At least when telling the truth they should be more willing to help out.