Spoofers!

Big Nasty · 15-02-2012 10:56AM #1

Everyone knows one!

Friend of mine is always padding his stories. Not an ounce of harm in the lad and quite entertaining. One of his best was when he was going on holidays he told us he was going to DHL over a keg of Guinness because 'the beer over there is muck'!

What's the best spoof you've ever heard?

smash · 15-02-2012 10:56AM

Are you Bill Cullen?

Seachmall · 15-02-2012 10:57AM

“The average person lies three times per ten minutes of conversation.” - Paul Ekman; Telling Lies

I know a lot of average people.*

I spoof quite a bit too, can't remember the "best" one though.

*I don't mean for this to sound as dickish as it does, but everyone spoofs and I'm perfectly fine with it. Adds interest to a story if nothing else.

DrumSteve · 15-02-2012 10:58AM

Jesus Christ being god... lol.

Napper Hawkins · 15-02-2012 11:00AM

Thank **** I'm above average so.

TeddyTedson · 15-02-2012 11:01AM

Yea I know a few bull****ters, thankfully there's easily spotted in an instant. Why do they do it!? I forget peoples bull**** almost immediately at this stage so I can't think of anything!

Mr Magners · 15-02-2012 11:01AM

Worked with a lad who claimed that in his youth he could run 10k in 25-26 mins on rolling country roads.

World record for 10,000m round a flat track was 26'10" at the time.

I challenged him and his answer was that they're different distances!!:pac:

Used to drive me mental with the fairy stories!

Lumbo · 15-02-2012 11:04AM

I never lie :pac:

Show Time · 15-02-2012 11:06AM

I always tell the truth even when i lie.

cloptrop · 15-02-2012 11:07AM

I find everyone that comes back from oz somehow undergo a transformation into bull****ters over there.
Countless people who tell you they earned thousands a week over there and you see there mothers and ask how they are getting on and you get the usual
"he was onto me last week lookin for money"
They all worked as a diving instructor swam with sharks and beat up a 20 stone maori bouncer that tried to glass them.

smash · 15-02-2012 11:08AM

A guy I know is full of shít. Every conversation contains lies, it's actually impossible to talk to him at this stage. He once told me "Last night I was out in town and nailed this hot chick in the toilets of the pub"... But that night he had stayed in my apartment after we'd played the xbox for 6 hours. And when you call him up on his lies, he quickly changes them and then moves on to something else.

It's sad, but we keep him around because he's like Jay from the inbetweeners and it's amusing!

xzanti · 15-02-2012 11:09AM

Never let truth get in the way of a good story.

audi a4 2008 · 15-02-2012 11:10AM

i have a few....a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

heres one he swears by...

he was playing hurling and with less than a minute to go he caught the ball in midfield up on the boss of the hurley runing from side to side geting away from the other players,
his team down a goal......runing away still stops looks ahead hits the ball so hard that the skin of the sliotar came off that went over the bar while the inside went into the back of the net:)...

silence from everyone till finally the ref allowed it to stand a goal and a point from one puck of the hurley to this day he stands by it:)

smash · 15-02-2012 11:13AM

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

Fromthetrees · 15-02-2012 11:14AM

Best one is that my friends granddad invented the widget that is in cans of Guiness. :rolleyes: There's just too many from this fela to list them all but another one is his other granddad commanded the IRA in munster during the war of independence. :rolleyes:

Standard Toaster · 15-02-2012 11:17AM

smash wrote: »

It's sad, but we keep him around because he's like Jay from the inbetweeners and it's amusing!

I've a Jay mate too!

A while back he got a new Alsatian to guard his place and he went on to tell us he had him imported directly from Germany no less....and how he can only speak German to him.

Now this lad can manage to just about string together an English sentence, never mind German!

Edit

Oh and how his aul lad was quicker around the IOM TT then Joey Dunlop when Joey gave him 'a shot' on his bike :rolleyes:

SEPT 23 1989 · 15-02-2012 11:20AM

I dislike the word "Spoofer"

kfallon · 15-02-2012 11:20AM

Plenty of 'spoofers' on here tbh :rolleyes:

:P

cloptrop · 15-02-2012 11:25AM

I used to work with a fella that would ask you what you did last night.
He then would proceed to tell ye that he did the exact same thing only he drank one bottle of beer more.
He told me a fella hit his older brother so he took yer mans car brought it up howth hill set it a light and let the handbrake off it. If anyone knows howth hill theyd smell **** off that story straight away and itd make news headlines everywhere if his story was true .
FLAMING CAR RUNS FROM TOP OF HOWTH HILL DOWN INTO TOWN CENTRE
He also rode a million birds at this stage because he got his hole nearly every night off a different bird.
Ive another mate who claimed he was an apprentice dentist.

foxyboxer · 15-02-2012 11:26AM

I try not to lie/cod/spoof as much as possible.

When you do lie, you need to tell additional lies to back up the initial lie and then more lies to support the additional lies until you're life becomes like a sihtty sitcom.

smash · 15-02-2012 11:30AM

foxyboxer wrote: »

I try not to lie/cod/spoof as much as possible.

When you do lie, you need to tell additional lies to back up the initial lie and then more lies to support the additional lies until you're life becomes like a sihtty sitcom.

Says the guy living in 123 Fake Street....

Gyalist · 15-02-2012 11:32AM

I wrote this post on a previous thread about spoofers/spoofing.

I was at the wedding of an old school friend in the US last year. The night before the wedding we went to the church for the rehearsal, after which the groom's parents had organised a dinner for the wedding party at an upmarket local restaurant.

At the rehearsal the bride, who I had never met before, asked me if I would say a few words in Irish at the dinner. I tried to fob her off but she was insistent and persuasive, so I foolishly said yes.

Now I had the small problem of giving a toast despite not speaking a word of Irish. I'm not Irish and even though I've lived here for the past 25 years, I've not learned any Irish. However, in that time I've come across some fantastic spoofers.

Suddenly in the midst of the rehearsal I came up with a genius idea and grabbed a napkin and wrote it down.

At the dinner we were all having a great time when suddenly it was my turn to speak. I stood up, looked around the room and smiled, and confidently declaimed, "Dun Laoghaire, Glenageary, Glasthule, Dalkey. Sláinte."

mikemac1 · 15-02-2012 11:35AM

It seems every parish in Ireland had someone who bought a ticket for the Titanic but missed the boat
I've heard that story far too many times now

And the other relation was a commandant in old IRA fighting the black n'tans. If the IRA was as big as the spoofers claim they could nearly have launched an invasion of Wales

Don't forget the other lad who took an itinerant girl home one night.
Enough of your fancy stuff boss, horse it in
Yet the spoofers swear to me it's true.

And finally the lad who could have trials with Liverpool and Blackburn but never went, too fond of the drink
That one is actually true, I know a lad who had offers and literally pissed away his chances.

Gummy Panda · 15-02-2012 11:35AM

I worked one day with this guy who told me he was being head hunted for a much better position by loads of companies. He then told me of this massive project he was involved in that required importing electrical product from Japan. The item got damaged in transit so he abused the account manager of the courier company.

By the end of the day he told me his bro was flying 747s and bring home air hostesses every night that they both partied with. I couldn't understand why he was lying so much. Was he trying to impress me or fool himself about his position in life?

the groutch · 15-02-2012 11:36AM

there's a building on Kildare Street where you find over a hundred spoofers

CardBordWindow · 15-02-2012 11:43AM

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

i have a few....a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

heres one he swears by...

he was playing hurling and with less than a minute to go he caught the ball in midfield up on the boss of the hurley runing from side to side geting away from the other players,
his team down a goal......runing away still stops looks ahead hits the ball so hard that the skin of the sliotar came off that went over the bar while the inside went into the back of the net:)...

silence from everyone till finally the ref allowed it to stand a goal and a point from one puck of the hurley to this day he stands by it:)

In fairness, that was the best finish to any match I've ever had the joy to watch!

True Story.

wilkie2006 · 15-02-2012 11:48AM

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

Duggy747 · 15-02-2012 11:51AM

Knew a guy in college who bullshìtted so much that you'd need a 2nd opinion if you asked him the time.

You know the type, they say they don't remember a thing about going out last night because they got, like, so wasted....................but have no problem detailing you the exact (read, "made-up") number of shots and pints they had which, of course, would be enough to kill a rhino stone dead, let alone a human.

wilkie2006 · 15-02-2012 11:53AM

Standard Toaster · 15-02-2012 11:53AM

wilkie2006 wrote: »

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

Sounds to me like your friend is in fact your imaginary friend.

mconigol · 15-02-2012 12:00PM

Gyalist wrote: »

I wrote this post on a previous thread about spoofers/spoofing.

Well she did ask you to say a few words so technically not spoofing...

Spoofers!

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