Did you ever get caught fapping by your parents/friends/other?

Mr.Biscuits · 10-02-2012 05:45AM

Thread reminds me of the latter half of this old material from Billy Connolly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqnUceOIEHE

amacachi · 10-02-2012 05:54AM

I haven't been caught but when I was a delivery driver I was dropping a package to an office and when I got as far as the reception the receptionist was on one of those swivel chairs with her hand up her skirt and under her thong. I was obviously very flustered but she kept going even when she had seen me. Her hot female boss then came along and asked me why I was just watching. Then we had a threesome.

I dropped off what I had to deliver and it was the only box in the office still intact.

blatantrereg · 10-02-2012 06:18AM

amacachi wrote: »

I haven't been caught but when I was a delivery driver I was dropping a package to an office and when I got as far as the reception the receptionist was on one of those swivel chairs with her hand up her skirt and under her thong. I was obviously very flustered but she kept going even when she had seen me. Her hot female boss then came along and asked me why I was just watching. Then we had a threesome.

I dropped off what I had to deliver and it was the only box in the office still intact.

I just caught you

FlapsOfDoom · 10-02-2012 06:19AM

keep your tissues close, but your jocks closer....

seanybiker · 10-02-2012 06:23AM

noelpat wrote: »

your from cork then

It also means his friend is really him.

Seachmall · 10-02-2012 11:03AM

I passed out drunk in the middle of a fap in college once. Didn't finish. Didn't clean the vomit up. Didn't lock the door.

By midday the next day everyone I knew in college had heard about it. Even people I didn't know heard about it. Even The Viper from Hardy Bucks had heard about it.

Twas a surprisingly good day.

jester77 · 10-02-2012 11:53AM

Horrendously embarrassing episode as a young lad where I wish I was only caught ****. Now this was all pre-internet where info was hard to come by. There was a rumour going around at the time that Prince had one of his ribs removed for giving himself self-pleasure. I was very fit at the time and was able to do good stretches, so I was wondering to myself if it would be possible to do this without removing a rib. So I'm lying on the bed on my back with my legs thrown over my head when I heard the door open. I fell over, turned around and saw my mother exiting

I stayed in my room the rest of the evening absolutely mortified. The next morning going down for breakfast we gave each other a very uncomfortable look and that was it, nothing has ever been said since.

Seachmall · 10-02-2012 11:54AM

jester77 wrote: »

Horrendously embarrassing episode as a young lad where I wish I was only caught ****. Now this was all pre-internet where info was hard to come by. There was a rumour going around at the time that Prince had one of his ribs removed for giving himself self-pleasure. I was very fit at the time and was able to do good stretches, so I was wondering to myself if it would be possible to do this without removing a rib. So I'm lying on the bed on my back with my legs thrown over my head when I heard the door open. I fell over, turned around and saw my mother exiting I stayed in my room the rest of the evening absolutely mortified. The next morning going down for breakfast we gave each other a very uncomfortable look and that was it, nothing has ever been said since.

Did you ever reach?

crapmanjoe · 10-02-2012 11:58AM

Seachmall wrote: »

Did you ever reach?

:eek:

Yeah did you reach? And best story by far here ( if true)

jester77 · 10-02-2012 12:03PM

Seachmall wrote: »

Did you ever reach?

No joy

Seachmall · 10-02-2012 12:04PM

jester77 wrote: »

No joy

Sorry, man.

Maybe someday, hopefully.

smash · 10-02-2012 12:05PM

Can't remember if I was ever caught fapping but my mother woke me one morning when I was 17 and ordered me to dispose of the used condom on floor in the living room.

AeoNGriM · 10-02-2012 12:10PM

kfallon wrote: »

No!

I was good at it

How does being good at fapping prevent you from getting caught? I can **** the nipple clamps off a transexual hermaphrodite without spilling my tea but unfortunately that won't bend light around me and make me invisible should someone glance in my direction.

davet82 · 10-02-2012 12:54PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

I stared her straight in the eye and said "this ones for you"

not reeally

seriously funniest post ever

:D:D that made my day lmao

John Doe1 · 10-02-2012 02:00PM

davet82 wrote: »

seriously funniest post ever :D:D that made my day lmao

_Thanks i try my best:p

kfallon · 10-02-2012 02:06PM

AeoNGriM wrote: »

How does being good at fapping prevent you from getting caught?

I was good at not getting caught fapping......obviously! :rolleyes:

Jesus wept, some people you have to explain everything to!!!

CroatoanCat · 10-02-2012 03:32PM

<OT> Today in work I was reading about a thing called a four-area project - FAP for short </OT>

I once had a great fap in the jax in college. Many moons ago. Came out refereshed to find the place deserted and the security guys looking at me curiously. 'Twas then I clocked the sound of the fire alarm. "Where were you?", asked me pals. "On the top floor, looking for the dean", says I. When really I was in the bog, flicking the bean.

Glory days.

MsLaura · 10-02-2012 03:36PM

I caught my mom frigging my dad, does that count?

John Doe1 · 10-02-2012 03:38PM

MsLaura wrote: »

I caught my mom frigging my dad, does that count?

Banned

smash · 10-02-2012 03:39PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

Banned

That was a few days ago!

MsLaura · 10-02-2012 03:40PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

Banned

Must be an elastic one, cause I'm still here

stovelid · 10-02-2012 03:45PM

Didn't any of you have bolts on your bedroom door like normal self-respecting, parent-loathing teenagers?

SheFiend · 10-02-2012 03:46PM

I got caught too many times to mention. One of the wierdest was when I thought I had the house to myself all day, and raided the fridge for slimy stuff to play with. Heard the door open and close, before I could look around. By the time I done a quick mop of the kitchen floor and legged it i realised my brother was standing outside the door, in the garden, like a statue. To this day, I can still feel that wedge of discomfort between us.

Funglegunk · 10-02-2012 03:50PM

Sindri wrote: »

Heard a psychologist say once all men go through a phase of sexual addiction in their lives at some stage.

Yep, it's called adolescence.

Gannicus · 10-02-2012 07:53PM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

"On the top floor, looking for the dean", says I. When really I was in the bog, flicking the bean.

Glory days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDE_nVJcJ70

corktina · 10-02-2012 09:02PM

you are all going to go blind.....:cool:

(I always close one eye just in case....sorry i mean i USED to always close one eye just in case...;)

wilkie2006 · 10-02-2012 10:02PM

castletownman wrote: »

My mates told me about the **** technique where if you sit on your arm first it feels like someone else is doing it. I went home after school that day and went upstairs to my room to try it. In the eh....throes of passion....one of my friends walked in and I rather stupidly tried to push down the laptop screen with my limp hand, which was, as you can imagine, impossible to do. Mortification.

Wow, that must've been embarrassing but hilarious, just like in The Inbetweeners?

Hmm, I think that this thread might require a bull$hit detector...

TheBody · 10-02-2012 11:28PM

Has anyone had a shank? It's where you **** and **** at the same time!!

Teyla Emmagan · 10-02-2012 11:31PM

I was caught once. Would have cottoned on that someone was shouting and the bathroom door was being jimmied open if I hadn't had my head underwater at the time...

True story

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 10-02-2012 11:45PM

Caught by my dad once, I was home from school and upstairs fapping, door closed. He came home from work, I heard him come upstairs but honestly didn't think he would come in without knocking.

Anyway he came in (never found out why). I jumped up and pulled my school trousers up and quickly did the zip. Only problem was my boner hadn't gone down quick enough and was protruding out the fly, I nicked my mickey in the zip and let out a yelp just as he did a u-turn (presumably after realizing what I had been doing).

He must have known what I had just done, had to of heard the yelp...but choose to ignore it as re-entering the room would have just increased the embarrassment for both of us. Thank fook nothing was caught in the zipper though or else I would have to cry for help properly a la Something About Mary.

We never spoke of the incident again needless to say. "Boys will be boys".

Did you ever get caught fapping by your parents/friends/other?

Comments