Whats the funniest theorie/conspiracy you have heard?

44leto · 08-02-2012 03:12AM

Boards only have 10 posters with multiple identities. But maybe that is true.

The King of Moo · 08-02-2012 03:43AM

Steven King killed John Lennon.
If you deliberately tried to make up a parody of a ridiculous conspiracy theory, you could never think of something as stupid as this.

The Denver Airport conspiracy, and basically any other theory which involves The Illuminati/N.W.O leaving mildly cryptic clues about their real machinations in plain sight.
Why do people think that secret organisations who want to rule the world from behind the scenes would leave clues to help us figure out their evil plans?
Sportsmanship? Or because they know it's too late to stop them...:eek:
The Riddler has a lot to answer for...

StupidLikeAFox · 08-02-2012 04:46AM

That swine flu was invented to be an epidemic to wipe out half the population in England as the population was going to grow to large. Jim Corr came up with that based on two things:
1 - An off the cuff remark by some guy in England that said the population wouldnt be able to sustain the levels of waste it was producing in 20 years time
2 - Some nurse he knew in the NHS underwent training to cope with an epidemic a few months before swine flu broke out.

Fuzzy logic at best

Father Damo · 08-02-2012 09:24AM

Absoloutely anything in the CT forum here. I mean everything.

Favourite recent ones were, without the tiniest shred of proof, people declaring that the Bin Laden raid was faked before it was even confirmed by Obama :pac:

For some reason, CT people seem to be able to believe, all at the same time:

Al Quaeda doesnt and never did exist

It did exist, but the US government, despite several tip offs, allowed the attacks to go ahead

AQ didnt have anything to do with them. Remote controlled CIA planes and explosives in the tower did it, despite the fact any scientist worth his salt has said this is nonsense. Paid off I say, paid off.

There wasnt even a plane at the Pentagon, it was a missile/ truck bomb
All videos showing planes hitting the towers are faked. All interviews with the thousands of people who claimed to see it happen are propoganda involving non existant interviewees.

Actually, sod the CIA. It was an Israeli operation to get the US to take care of Iraq for them

Depending on the day or context one conspiracy theorist can subscribe to one or more of the above as absoloute fact without any notion of contradiction. The only solitary one of the above with the tiniest shred of possibilty is the 2nd one. And for that to work one has to assume that several dozen people in the chain of command leading from a suspicious few local US police officers, to FBI clerks who passed it to their superiors, to the FBI suits who passed the info to the White House......one has to assume that ALL of these people are keeping quiet.

Wow. Just wow.

I am not saying there is absoloutely no truth in any theory. For example, the Norway massacre, I honestly believe that is an utter smokescreen. But 99% of the rest, utter sh1t.

foxyboxer · 08-02-2012 10:01AM

Take a sprinkling of the public's general mistrust of big government, add a dash of scientific or political or financial ignorance. Mix it all together with pseudo-intellectual statements, then leave to simmer for a few years. Voila, you have a conspiracy theory.

kincsem · 08-02-2012 10:03AM

They invented something to replace petrol but won't release it because it would ruin the oil industry.

iceman777 · 08-02-2012 10:24AM

I heard that people actually believe in gods and such imaginary things.
Madness, I tell you, madness!!

smash · 08-02-2012 10:29AM

Every time... this one takes the biscuit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjZY0KufWao

Sindri · 08-02-2012 10:31AM

All conspiracy theories are actually propagated by the Lizard People to throw us off their true existence and motivation which is to spread conspiracy theories.

Wake up you fools!

Dun dun duuuun!!!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 08-02-2012 10:35AM

north dakota doesn't actually exist
it's all a lie by the us government map makers to hide... something, i've never been clear on what exactly

al28283 · 08-02-2012 10:52AM

The planes that hit the trade centre were holograms :rolleyes:

Duggy747 · 08-02-2012 10:53AM

Microsoft manufacture viruses to kill their machines so people have to spend money getting them fixed by a technician who's in cahoots with Bill Gates.

I hear this more times than I should, people like this shouldn't even be near a machine.

Sindri · 08-02-2012 11:00AM

This one is true.

Planned obsolescence.

Centennial Light.

AngryBollix · 08-02-2012 11:02AM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Microsoft manufacture viruses to kill their machines so people have to spend money getting them fixed by a technician who's in cahoots with Bill Gates.

I hear this more times than I should, people like this shouldn't even be near a machine.

That sounds like a business idea as opposed to a conspiracy teory

seamus · 08-02-2012 11:03AM

That NASA somehow convinced half a million people working on the apollo programs to keep schtum for the rest of their lives about the fact that it was a hoax.

What I love most is when they claim that in order to maintain the pretence, NASA went ahead and built all of the equipment, including a 110m tall rocket which they launched into the air, but then decided to film the landing in some studio.

Landing on the moon would actually be cheaper than pretending to.

Mr Benevolent · 08-02-2012 11:38AM

Fan death.

Gileadi · 08-02-2012 11:51AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth

People reading too much discworld...

some random drunk · 08-02-2012 11:51AM

Rods! Basically a bunch of people believe that earth is inhabited by flying rod-like creatures that fly at great speed and are almost invisible to the human eye. Documentary on it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSwbmPM8D40

Cuddlesworth · 08-02-2012 12:03PM

I feel sorry for the hard core conspiracy heads in a way. We spend our whole childhood being told we are special, can do and become anything. Then, when we becomes adults we find we are not as special as we thought we would be. But if you are the only person around you clever enough to figure out the lizard communists are running a organisation trying to rule the world, you become special again.

simit · 08-02-2012 12:11PM

Project Bluebeam is pretty amazing!

foxyboxer · 08-02-2012 12:24PM

seamus wrote: »

That NASA somehow convinced half a million people working on the apollo programs to keep schtum for the rest of their lives about the fact that it was a hoax.

What I love most is when they claim that in order to maintain the pretence, NASA went ahead and built all of the equipment, including 110m tall rockets which they launched into the air, but then decided to film the landing in some studio.

Landing on the moon would actually be cheaper than pretending to.

FYP

Capt'n Midnight · 08-02-2012 12:38PM

All that stuff that breaks the second law of thermodynamics. Especially when it involves Carnot efficiency.

That they could run a car on water. (it's easy , just supply water + twice as much energy as the petrol you replace)

Every single one of the electrolysis / vortex / magnets on fuel lines on cars to improve economy , relative to getting your car serviced.

Perpetual motion and over unity devices that
* aren't fraudulent
* where there is an energy density to be harvested, zero point energy means we should be witnessing naturally occurring hot-spots (some cosmic rays have more energy than anything CERN could produce)
* that even if they did work they would be cheaper than existing renewable energy sources

the whole Hydrogen economy, without explaining how they could over come the numerous stages and the energy lost at each stage.

Father Damo · 08-02-2012 12:47PM

I do love the one theorising that FIFA organised a complex strategy in the World Cup of 66 whereby English and German referees fixed neutral matches so as to reach a Germany vs England final which Germany was then obliged to throw in Englands favour as a final WWII reparation payment for propoganda purposes :pac:

Immaculate Pasta · 08-02-2012 01:24PM

When Hitler was alive, a secret Nazi moonbase was set up which still exists today :eek:

http://secretnazimoonbase.blogspot.com/

Riddle101 · 08-02-2012 01:35PM

Some might laugh at the fact that I got this from pro wrestling but.
There's a conspiracy theory that a guy named Kevin Sullivan murdered Chris Beniot and his family. I think there's a guy on youtube who seems pretty adament that Beniot didn't do it himself and that he was framed.

Also someone claims Vince McMahon, owner of WWE secretly owns a rival wrestling promotion called TNA.

As for non wrestling related conspiracies. Proberly 9/11 was an inside job and also that princess Diana was murdered by MI6.

Sindri · 08-02-2012 01:39PM

Riddle101 wrote: »

Some might laugh at the fact that I got this from pro wrestling but.
There's a conspiracy theory that a guy named Kevin Sullivan murdered Chris Beniot and his family. I think there's a guy on youtube who seems pretty adament that Beniot didn't do it himself and that he was framed.

Also someone claims Vince McMahon, owner of WWE secretly owns a rival wrestling promotion called TNA.

As for non wrestling related conspiracies. Proberly 9/11 was an inside job and also that princess Diana by MI6.

GOOD SIR, Diana was murdered by the fashion police. Please!!

Capt'n Midnight · 08-02-2012 01:44PM

In fairness I have to point out that the Swiss did use electric steam engines during WWII. Pantograph to heating elements and away you go.

The first hydrogen powered vehicle was made in 1807 the same guy also made a car with an internal combustion engine powered by coal gas in 1813.

AngryBollix · 08-02-2012 01:45PM

Father Damo wrote: »

I do love the one theorising that FIFA organised a complex strategy in the World Cup of 66 whereby English and German referees fixed neutral matches so as to reach a Germany vs England final which Germany was then obliged to throw in Englands favour as a final WWII reparation payment for propoganda purposes :pac:

Brilliant.

They conveniently fail to mention that Germany have played 7 world cup finals since world war 2.

Sindri · 08-02-2012 01:46PM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

In fairness I have to point out that the Swiss did use electric steam engines during WWII. Pantograph to heating elements and away you go.

The first hydrogen powered vehicle was made in 1807 the same guy also made a car with an internal combustion engine powered by coal gas in 1813.

It's amazing some of the knowledge that when we humans have discovered it, have ignored. Mendel's stuff and the like.

Stiffler2 · 08-02-2012 01:46PM

This is an easy one :

>insert religion here<

Whats the funniest theorie/conspiracy you have heard?

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