How honest should you be when dumping someone?

Overheal · 07-02-2012 02:46PM

Trying to make lies to spare someones feelings is the worst thing you can do. Actually, it can be a total mindfcuk. Don't.

flanders1979 · 07-02-2012 02:47PM

She must have been a great ride to tolerate all that crap

Katgurl · 07-02-2012 02:53PM

What were you doing going out with her?

Anyway in answer to your question, you probably should have given it to her straight apart from the read more books observation.

Nothingbetter2d · 07-02-2012 03:28PM

wilkie2006 wrote: »

A few years ago I went out with a complete and utter bit£h. She was fcuking horrible. Unlike most relationships, the more I got to know her, the more I disliked her. By the time I broke her with her, I realised that - a relationship aside - I wouldn't have even wanted to be her friend.

At the time of the break-up, I asked one of my female friends how to handle it: brutally honest or saccharine and generic. She counseled me to go easy on the girl, which I did.

However, I wonder whether my ex could have benefited from some "constructive" criticism? What I would have liked to have said was:

- You're controlling, neurotic and clingy.
- You're really obnoxious when you're pi$$ed (and a bit racist too)
- You're really tight with money and it pi$$es me off that you expect me to buy everything (including drinks for your friends on a night out).
- You could do with reading a few more books and newspapers to knock the edges off your ignorance
- Slapping your boyfriend when you're pissed (for no reason) is not okay.
- Boyfriends are not butlers/handymen that can be called over to your house - on the pretext of "hanging out" - to fix stuff or help you to clean.

So how do other users break-up with people; "It's not you, it's me" or "I just can't fcuking stand you"?

you dated my ex??

but in all seriousness just be honest as to why your dumping her..

Raditub · 07-02-2012 03:30PM

Be totally honest.. i found lying to somebody about your motives will always lead to problems and eventually its gonna come back to bite u in the ass!

stupidusername · 07-02-2012 03:32PM

most people probably don't really care as to why they're being broken up with. I would, and many would want to know, but she doesn't sound like the type.

Riddle101 · 07-02-2012 03:36PM

Brutally honest, even if you must be blunt.

"I'm sorry but you've gained a bit of weight lately, and i'm afraid of how big you might get if I stayed with you, so i've decided I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Don't judge yourself too hard, i'm just not into fat chicks. But at the end of the day we're both at fault. Goodbye"

stovelid · 07-02-2012 03:44PM

Ambiguous enough to squeeze in a few months of booty calls afterwards.

mattjack · 07-02-2012 04:21PM

wilkie2006 wrote: »

A few years ago I went out with a complete and utter bit£h. She was fcuking horrible. Unlike most relationships, the more I got to know her, the more I disliked her. By the time I broke her with her, I realised that - a relationship aside - I wouldn't have even wanted to be her friend.

At the time of the break-up, I asked one of my female friends how to handle it: brutally honest or saccharine and generic. She counseled me to go easy on the girl, which I did.

However, I wonder whether my ex could have benefited from some "constructive" criticism? What I would have liked to have said was:

- You're controlling, neurotic and clingy.
- You're really obnoxious when you're pi$$ed (and a bit racist too)
- You're really tight with money and it pi$$es me off that you expect me to buy everything (including drinks for your friends on a night out).
- You could do with reading a few more books and newspapers to knock the edges off your ignorance
- Slapping your boyfriend when you're pissed (for no reason) is not okay.
- Boyfriends are not butlers/handymen that can be called over to your house - on the pretext of "hanging out" - to fix stuff or help you to clean.

So how do other users break-up with people; "It's not you, it's me" or "I just can't fcuking stand you"?

Sounds like you miss her..still thinking about her OP

careymary · 07-02-2012 05:49PM

I went out with a guy who was seven shades of crazy, when we broke up I was so tempted to say so much stuff to him, not in a hurtful way but just saying these are the facts of it, but i knew deep down I would only aggrevate him and cause myself unnecessary hassel, as he would be the type to freak out and make my life hell.
So I guess for me its about judging if its actually worth it for you to say all this stuff, you have been through enough & sometimes its best just to draw a line under it!

yupyup7up · 07-02-2012 06:04PM

I'd have rode her and turned off my phone for a couple of weeks.

IrishEyes19 · 07-02-2012 06:08PM

Broke up with someone just the once, but I was honest about it and explained I just didn't feel it could go anywhere, awful to say to someone.. It was really hard to say the truth, but I really didnt want the hassle of getting calls, texts down the line asking to get back together or why I had ended it when everything was going so great :rolleyes: Plus Id prefer for both parties to get on with their lives. Not fair on him either to wonder why it ended without a fair explaination.

on the otherside, I was dumped before with a half arsed explaination and god only knows I wish he had told me the truth from the start, because cue many months later, of him wanting to meet up after nights out, and calling when he was emotionally down, I believed he still had feelings. I abruptly learnt the truth later, when I couldnt take it anymore and asked for the umpteenth time, possibly a little agressively after all the crap he put me through and I was told quite firmly what he thought :rolleyes: though at times I should question my own sanity for putting up with such a d....head in the first place

So yep. Getting the absolute truth from the start is so much more beneficial. Saves a lot of post drama and if the person doesnt want any hassle, well theres a such thing as number blocking ect...........

honestly is the best policy imo

blatantrereg · 07-02-2012 06:10PM

Depends on how shallow the reasons are and how violent/hysterical the dumpee is.

TiGeR KiNgS · 07-02-2012 06:13PM

wilkie2006 wrote: »

A few years ago I went out with a complete and utter bit£h. She was fcuking horrible. Unlike most relationships, the more I got to know her, the more I disliked her. By the time I broke her with her, I realised that - a relationship aside - I wouldn't have even wanted to be her friend.

At the time of the break-up, I asked one of my female friends how to handle it: brutally honest or saccharine and generic. She counseled me to go easy on the girl, which I did.

However, I wonder whether my ex could have benefited from some "constructive" criticism? What I would have liked to have said was:

- You're controlling, neurotic and clingy.
- You're really obnoxious when you're pi$$ed (and a bit racist too)
- You're really tight with money and it pi$$es me off that you expect me to buy everything (including drinks for your friends on a night out).
- You could do with reading a few more books and newspapers to knock the edges off your ignorance
- Slapping your boyfriend when you're pissed (for no reason) is not okay.
- Boyfriends are not butlers/handymen that can be called over to your house - on the pretext of "hanging out" - to fix stuff or help you to clean.

So how do other users break-up with people; "It's not you, it's me" or "I just can't fcuking stand you"?

This post is the definition of whipped.
I mean:

You're really tight with money and it pi$$es me off that you expect me to buy everything (including drinks for your friends on a night out).

She took you for a ride OP.

Dohnny Jepp · 07-02-2012 06:14PM

Be honest, be short and be concise. Dont have loads of long reasons.

one bullet to the head as opposed to ten in the chest

bonzodog2 · 07-02-2012 06:22PM

You can be honest without being nasty. "Hey, this isn't working out and I don't want to see you anymore" rather than "You're a cnut, burn in hell biatch !"

reera82 · 07-02-2012 06:34PM

"Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, you"

John Doe1 · 07-02-2012 06:40PM

Get her to dump you "Honey, you know the way i said im into dogs, well im really into dogs"

44leto · 07-02-2012 06:41PM

Listen, its not you its me

Now fkuc off out off my life I have met someone prettier.

starlit · 07-02-2012 06:54PM

As honest as you can be.

username_x · 07-02-2012 06:58PM

i told my ex he was a rebound, he did not take that well...

token101 · 07-02-2012 07:01PM

wilkie2006 wrote: »

A few years ago I went out with a complete and utter bit£h. She was fcuking horrible. Unlike most relationships, the more I got to know her, the more I disliked her. By the time I broke her with her, I realised that - a relationship aside - I wouldn't have even wanted to be her friend.

At the time of the break-up, I asked one of my female friends how to handle it: brutally honest or saccharine and generic. She counseled me to go easy on the girl, which I did.

However, I wonder whether my ex could have benefited from some "constructive" criticism? What I would have liked to have said was:

- You're controlling, neurotic and clingy.
- You're really obnoxious when you're pi$$ed (and a bit racist too)
- You're really tight with money and it pi$$es me off that you expect me to buy everything (including drinks for your friends on a night out).
- You could do with reading a few more books and newspapers to knock the edges off your ignorance
- Slapping your boyfriend when you're pissed (for no reason) is not okay.
- Boyfriends are not butlers/handymen that can be called over to your house - on the pretext of "hanging out" - to fix stuff or help you to clean.

So how do other users break-up with people; "It's not you, it's me" or "I just can't fcuking stand you"?

Are you f***ing serious?? Unless it's going to end with a gangbang with her friends and you, any girl that even suggested that without handing over the money would get laughed at and told to '**** off' by anyone with any self respect. Even then I'd be skeptical about someone expecting me to queue up at the bar while her and her friends go relax.

Cleaning? Unless it ends in the ride, you're getting rode. Even then I'd be half heartedly sweeping stuff under cupboards.

44leto · 07-02-2012 07:06PM

token101 wrote: »

Are you f***ing serious?? Unless it's going to end with a gangbang with her friends and you, any girl that even suggested that without handing over the money would get laughed at and told to '**** off' by anyone with any self respect. Even then I'd be skeptical about someone expecting me to queue up at the bar while her and her friends go relax.

Cleaning? Unless it ends in the ride, you're getting rode. Even then I'd be half heartedly sweeping stuff under cupboards.

Yeah its a case of someone treating you the way you let them.

wilkie2006 · 07-02-2012 07:17PM

mattjack wrote: »

Sounds like you miss her..still thinking about her OP

God, no way. I just thought of her this afternoon when I read another thread about who should have to pay on a first date.

In fact, I was delighted after I broke up with her. During the dumping conversation I had this going through my mind...

dermiek · 07-02-2012 07:19PM

kfallon wrote: »

Your username is giving me all sorts of bad mental images!

Can see the break up line now, "it's not you, it's the hairy gee" :P

Having a hairy gee is not a good enough excuse to break up with a woman.

:pac::pac::pac:

Hollypop · 07-02-2012 07:23PM

She sounds like a bitch. Do it quickly. Bit of truthfulness will do her no harm. Let us know how she takes it.

wilkie2006 · 07-02-2012 07:26PM

Hollypop wrote: »

She sounds like a bitch. Do it quickly. Bit of truthfulness will do her no harm. Let us know how she takes it.

Ah, this was a few yeas ago. She took it very fcuking badly. Oh well

Elmer Blooker · 07-02-2012 07:35PM

Tell her that you love her madly and want to spend the rest of your life with her.
She'll be gone in about two seconds!

Hollypop · 07-02-2012 07:36PM

Oops. Sorry. New to this. She sounded like the type of girl that would take it badly alright. You're well rid.

nottherealdeal · 07-02-2012 07:41PM

Disappear off the face of their earth....

Delete their number, delete them as your fb friend, unfollow them on twitter...
Ignore them publicly and never talk of them again......

Works best on the nice ones

How honest should you be when dumping someone?

Comments