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Best Lines you've used?

2

Comments

  • #32
    Julie London
    Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭Julie London


    summerskin wrote: »
    tune in next week for more made up stories that sound like plot-lines from chick-lit novels!!
    Sorry you doubt me but thats 100% true.
    I also fell in love and got married to a man i was dating for 6 months, in Las vegas. Sounds like a crap movie plot too. But its my life.


  • #33
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    Julie London wrote: »
    Sorry you doubt me but thats 100% true.
    I also fell in love and got married to a man i was dating for 6 months, in Las vegas. Sounds like a crap movie plot too. But its my life.

    ...starring Kate Hudson as Julie London and Matthew McConaughey as Mr. Right... it's "How to relaunch a guy in 10 honeymoons from Vegas-wars"


  • #34
    Julie London
    Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭Julie London


    give me 5 minutes with you, love, and you'll have a face like a painter's radio.

    speaking of chat up lines, summerskin clearly you have the talent for it. Way more appealing than my approach. Do the girls fall all over themselves?:D


  • #35
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    Julie London wrote: »
    speaking of chat up lines, summerskin clearly you have the talent for it. Way more appealing than my approach. Do the girls fall all over themselves?:D

    Until the rohypnol wears off, yes.


  • #36
    rubber duk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16 ✭rubber duk


    A friend of mine who wasn't that tall went up to this girl one night who was a good bit taller than him and said, hey love I thought your mother told you not to be long. Worked a charm for him!


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  • #37
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Julie London wrote: »
    I once spotted a gorgeous man in a pub in Dublin.

    Lies.


  • #38
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Julie London wrote: »
    I once spotted a gorgeous man in a pub in Dublin. He was exactly my type , 6 foot 5, dark and yum. anyway Im fairly confident girl, so i wrote my number on a piece of paper and signed it princess. walked up tapped him on the back and handed it to him and just sauntered off looking behind me and locking eyes with him the whole time.
    I left the pub then to go onto a nightclub. An hour later he phoned asking for princess and asked could he join me. So he came to the club. We dated for a few months. He said he had never been approached like that by a girl and thought it was a huge turn on.

    Kept waiting for the self deprecation required to balance out the roaring egoism at the start of the post. It never came....sigh.


  • #39
    Julie London
    Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭Julie London


    I was once approached with this line from a man at a bar (I was wearing a red hooded coat)
    Your little, and you red, but are you riding?
    Summerskin calm down! its the truth


  • #40
    Julie London
    Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭Julie London


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    Kept waiting for the self deprecation required to balance out the roaring egoism at the start of the post. It never came....sigh.
    I cant help it if i have an ego. I love me. nothing wrong with that


  • #41
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Julie London wrote: »
    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    Kept waiting for the self deprecation required to balance out the roaring egoism at the start of the post. It never came....sigh.
    I cant help it if i have an ego. I love me. nothing wrong with that

    .....sigh.


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  • #42
    MIRMIR82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 658 ✭✭✭MIRMIR82


    My aunt was being chatted up one night in Dublin by this ponce - anyway they ended up arguing about some political thing or other and when ur man couldnt get the better of my aunt he said 'do you know i have 12 letters after my name?' to which she replied 'yes the last 5 are P-R-I-C-K'
    I thought it was hilarious anyway:D

    Oh also __________________________ - thats the best line i ever used! :)


  • #43
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    Alright love, Hows your gee?


  • #44
    p to the e
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,374 ✭✭✭p to the e


    "You smell like my grandma"

    Also probably my favourite from Zap Brannigan - "If I said you had a beautiful body.... would you go to bed with me?"


  • #45
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    Julie London wrote: »
    I once spotted a gorgeous man in a pub in Dublin. He was exactly my type , 6 foot 5, dark and yum. anyway Im fairly confident girl, so i wrote my number on a piece of paper and signed it princess. walked up tapped him on the back and handed it to him and just sauntered off looking behind me and locking eyes with him the whole time.
    I left the pub then to go onto a nightclub. An hour later he phoned asking for princess and asked could he join me. So he came to the club. We dated for a few months. He said he had never been approached like that by a girl and thought it was a huge turn on.

    Did you suck him off in the toilets after you vomited from the booze and coke?


  • #46
    TheBunk1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 796 ✭✭✭TheBunk1


    Get my coat, you've pulled a chauvinist.


  • #47
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    lets not turn this rape in to a murder

    id crawl though a mile of broken glass just to W£$k in your shadow

    you know how i know im getting sex later..... coz im stronger then you


  • #48
    ciarang85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 256 ✭✭ciarang85


    mate: do you want to play pearl harbour?

    girl: how do you play that?

    mate: i lie down and you blow the shít out of me


  • #49
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Was asked at a wedding how old I was.

    Replied with: "Why don't you come outside and count the rings on my trunk to find out"

    It worked instantly. :D

    you tattoo'd rings on your "trunk"? didnt it hurt?


  • #50
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    I walked over and said to a girl "I remember you from playschool....you stole my crayons". Had sex with her a few hours later.

    Another time I walked over to a girl and said "I love chocolate", we ended up kissing about 10 minutes later then I excused myself and left.

    I've said hundreds of arbitrary openers over the years, whatever I feel amuses me in the moment.


  • #51
    xsiborg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,635 ✭✭✭xsiborg


    ohh many many years ago, met a girl in a club, went up to her-

    me: "hello"
    her: "i have a boyfriend"
    me: "ah that's cool, so have i..."

    cue some strange looks before she copped, and the idea of being a fag-hag nearly sent her into convulsions of excitement!

    her: ohhh!
    me: fancy a drink?

    the next part went something like this-



    next morning-

    her: so?
    me: damn you're good! :D


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  • #52
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    "I'll COME UP YOUR HOLE!!!! I'LL CUM UP YOUR FUCKING HOLE LOVE!!!"

    Crying.


  • #53
    Volvagia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭Volvagia


    Once asked a girl "Do you like kissing?"

    She did.


  • #54
    link_2007
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,015 ✭✭✭link_2007


    Do you want to have sex?

    "No"

    Would you mind lying down so I can have some?


  • #55
    AwayWithFaries
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 452 ✭✭AwayWithFaries


    Never really use chat up line as a serious way to go, seem a bit tacky. That said I did have quite a fun night with them once.

    Myself and a mate were single so the before we headed to the club the other spoken for lads in our group mad up a list of chat up line and we wanted to see who could get through the list first, good fun :D


  • #56
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    Best Lines you've used?

    I thought this thread was gonna be about fishing or maybe drugs, pleasently surprise :)


  • #57
    thebigbiffo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    "I'm not usually this tall looking - it's just I'm sitting on my wallet"

    First post in 2 months...seriously people, you're not all assholes.


  • #58
    token101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,050 ✭✭✭token101


    Julie London wrote: »
    I was once approached with this line from a man at a bar (I was wearing a red hooded coat)
    Your little, and you red, but are you riding?
    Summerskin calm down! its the truth

    Somebody's watching too much YouPorn.....


  • #59
    UnknownSpecies
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,183 ✭✭✭UnknownSpecies


    Gardai came to our house party to break it up.

    Garda says "Lads this is serious anti-social behaviour" to which my friend replied "It's hardly anti-social when EVERYBODY is here!"

    :D


  • #60
    wp_rathead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,075 ✭✭✭✭wp_rathead


    get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut

    EDIT: I never said it though..


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  • #61
    Mickey H
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    Classic from Jason Byrne:

    "Horse it into me to f**k would ya and none of your fancy sh1t."


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