Best Lines you've used?

Hoggy1000 · 02-02-2012 01:38AM #1

Alrite Boardsies...

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about hilarious conversation starters people have used to introduce themselves to people.
So I wanna know whats the best chat-up line you've used on a Man or Woman that has either charmed the pants off of them or completly made you look like an idiot in front of everyone.

I'm sure this has been done before and yada yada yada, I'd love to hear peoples best moments

kryogen · 02-02-2012 01:39AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ive got a knife
Now get in the ****in van

Lumbo · 02-02-2012 01:40AM

Pics or GTFO

drunkmonkey · 02-02-2012 01:41AM

Was asked at a wedding how old I was.

Replied with: "Why don't you come outside and count the rings on my trunk to find out"

It worked instantly.

Shield · 02-02-2012 01:42AM

Arresting someone one time, I got the standard "Don't forget I'm paying your wages" to which I retorted "...and now I'm earning it!"

Hasmunch · 02-02-2012 01:43AM

Does this chloroform smell funny to you?

SafeSurfer · 02-02-2012 01:44AM

Would you like to share a bottle of champagne and some coke?

Hoggy1000 · 02-02-2012 02:02AM

There's some good ones out there

Best one I ever saw/heard... we were in a nightclub inside in Cork City, and a friend goes how much would you give me if I went up to this absolute beaut and get off with her. Being a betting man, i was up for it and through a fiver on it that he couldnt...

So as he likes to tell the story, He danced up to her... giving it socks and shouts "FAT PENGUIN". Now you could see the anger in this girls eyes as she turns around and glares at him. So he shouts it again, and which she replys to him.. "F*** off you Kn0b!" ... My Friend says "Oh sorry love, I was just trying to think of something to break the ice". .... In fairness, the girl smiled, and by the end of the night, he had her number.

What a cheesy F***ing line

harvester of sorrow · 02-02-2012 02:05AM

Whats your number?
works for me anyway:cool:

Run_to_da_hills · 02-02-2012 02:07AM

You haven't even got the intelligence to be stupid.

harney · 02-02-2012 02:10AM

Chatting to two German girls in Munich years ago. One leaned over to say something to the other and I noticed a tramp stamp........

<me> Oh, you have a tattoo
<cute German girl> yes, would you like to see it * and starts to lean over*
<me> No, it's OK I'll check it out in the ceiling mirror in my hotel later....

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Cute German girl pisses herself laughing and translates to her friend.

Alas, the imagined ceiling mirror never got a look in :-(

Jimmy Iovine · 02-02-2012 02:11AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PRDi9PCPz0

Bodhisopha · 02-02-2012 02:12AM

asl?

gcgirl · 02-02-2012 02:16AM

kryogen wrote: »

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ive got a knife
Now get in the ****in van

You so stole larrys line

Babybuff · 02-02-2012 02:19AM

coffee's not red
milk isn't blue
do you take sugar..?
one lump or two?

ok no.

Red21 · 02-02-2012 02:21AM

George Clooney is only a light switch away

paddy kerins · 02-02-2012 02:21AM

I don't want to get you drunk, but that's a very fine Chardonay you're not drinking

EarlieBird · 02-02-2012 02:22AM

harvester of sorrow wrote: »

Whats your number?
works for me anyway:cool:

absolute bant

johnny_cash · 02-02-2012 02:24AM

I was in the takeaway with a couple of lads after the nightclub.One of the lads wals up to a girl.

Mate: can i smell your feet
Girl : no
Mate : it must be your fanny so

She didn't think it was very funny but the rest of us nearly died laughing

Deus Ex Machina · 02-02-2012 03:18AM

"I'll COME UP YOUR HOLE!!!! I'LL CUM UP YOUR FUCKING HOLE LOVE!!!"

seanybiker · 02-02-2012 03:20AM

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

You haven't even got the intelligence to be stupid.

I don't get it

I do get it before someone tries explain it

TanG411 · 02-02-2012 03:41AM

I have a PhD.

A PRETTY HUGE DICK.

(I got it from Friends).

policarp · 02-02-2012 03:49AM

Do you cum here often?

Kojak · 02-02-2012 03:52AM

How do you feel about Robert Mugabe?

Haven't had much success with it yet, but when I do.......

SafeSurfer · 02-02-2012 11:27AM

Get your guide dog, you've pulled.

biko · 02-02-2012 11:34AM

I'm really drunk, can you help me home?

kincsem · 02-02-2012 11:37AM

Hello, I'm a billionaire.

source · 02-02-2012 11:39AM

Never a big one for chat up lines.

But was out one night and one of the lads approached a girl and used the magic watch line.

you know.....My magic watch says you're not wearing any uinderwear.........I am......must be running fast then!!!

Only he managed to pull her by walking up and just saying magic watch....it was bloody spectacular.

harvester of sorrow · 02-02-2012 11:47AM

EarlieBird wrote: »

absolute bant

meh,if you say so.

Julie London · 02-02-2012 12:01PM

I once spotted a gorgeous man in a pub in Dublin. He was exactly my type , 6 foot 5, dark and yum. anyway Im fairly confident girl, so i wrote my number on a piece of paper and signed it princess. walked up tapped him on the back and handed it to him and just sauntered off looking behind me and locking eyes with him the whole time.
I left the pub then to go onto a nightclub. An hour later he phoned asking for princess and asked could he join me. So he came to the club. We dated for a few months. He said he had never been approached like that by a girl and thought it was a huge turn on.

summerskin · 02-02-2012 12:05PM

Julie London wrote: »

I once spotted a gorgeous man in a pub in Dublin. He was exactly my type , 6 foot 5, dark and yum. anyway Im fairly confident girl, so i wrote my number on a piece of paper and signed it princess. walked up tapped him on the back and handed it to him and just sauntered off looking behind me and locking eyes with him the whole time.
I left the pub then to go onto a nightclub. An hour later he phoned asking for princess and asked could he join me. So he came to the club. We dated for a few months. He said he had never been approached like that by a girl and thought it was a huge turn on.

tune in next week for more made up stories that sound like plot-lines from chick-lit novels!!

Best Lines you've used?

Comments