Forget childbirth...

Pherekydes · 22-01-2012 01:33AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

I don't know why women whine on about the pain of childbirth.

Sure it's no more painful than having a massive, solid shit.

Must be some shít if you split yourself and lose a pint of blood. How many stitches did you get?

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 01:34AM

stupidusername wrote: »

bfocusd wrote: »

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

christ almighty what a ****ing way to put it

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

Larianne · 22-01-2012 01:36AM

bfocusd wrote: »

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

Was she unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

Buenavistam · 22-01-2012 01:42AM

Testicles; two. normal hanging position.. Low slung, comfortable,happy.

Dislocated hip; pain .very sore.

Hip put back in socket. Should be ok . One ball missing. Stretched.. Definitely not ok. Definitely sore.

Now dizzy and faint.

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 01:42AM

[Quote=Larianne;
Was she lucky or unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

No thank God, she was private and had an elderly experienced doc do it, she was in a bad way, first baby was in distress cause second was laying on it several days, so she pushed like a lunatic and got a tear but the second baby was bigger and made it a million times worse, all with no meds.

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 01:45AM

Buenavistam wrote: »

Testicles; two. normal hanging position.. Low slung, comfortable,happy.

Dislocated hip; pain .very sore.

Hip put back in socket. Should be ok . One ball missing. Stretched.. Definitely not ok. Definitely sore.

Now dizzy and faint.

Im sorry cause it sound painfully,but one ball missing...

oh god.. Where did you find it? Or was it just hiding?

cofy · 22-01-2012 01:48AM

Larianne wrote: »

Was she unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

When my son was born and checked out to make sure everything was ok, my husband wanted to rush out to smoke a fag and tell his mother that she had a new grandson. He was stopped in his tracks, very politely, by the person stitching me up "go back, this is a bad one", after I heard that I did'nt want to ask how many stiches I got, all I could hear was that my son was alright, even though this was my second child, it was the first time I heard my baby after being born. (My first was born 3 months early at 1lb 12oz).

Buenavistam · 22-01-2012 01:49AM

Ball in socket .. Hip dislocated a second time. Ball home. Hip joint not so good.

K-9 · 22-01-2012 01:53AM

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 01:56AM

K-9 wrote: »

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Link?

stupidusername · 22-01-2012 01:59AM

bfocusd wrote: »

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

for my own sake I skimmed through this post.

I am female, but no I don't want children, never have..... and probably never will. i just cannot imagine that pain.

cofy · 22-01-2012 02:06AM

bfocusd wrote: »

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

The proper way to say this is "There was a bit of colletaral damage"

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 02:17AM

[Quote=stupidusername;
for my own sake I skimmed through this post.

I am female, but no I don't want children, never have..... and probably never will. i just cannot imagine that pain.[/Quote]

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

alphabeat · 22-01-2012 02:17AM

gsxr1 wrote: »

What is wrong with men these days.. Feckin hell.

I broke my wrist and worked on with it for 3 weeks. . Roofing a house.

I broke my ankle and did not go to hospital till the day after. After the doctor told me to. He called an ambulance

Broke my tibia Falling of a sports bike (that did hurt a fair bit). I may have pissed myself.

5 ribs smashed and it stung a bit for a while. Other bits and bobs broken in the quest to be a normal man who likes sports and ruff.

THEN I SEE SOME POOF ON BOARDs WHINE ABOUT HIS PUBES ... Fecking hell

PONCE !

I decapitated myself opening a bag of taytos once ,
didnt realise for 3 days until someone casually mentioned I may be going deaf as they kept having to repeat themselves.

stupidusername · 22-01-2012 02:33AM

bfocusd wrote: »

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

yeah i see why you'd be worried about...the birth.
nah i'm pretty settled on not having them now

alphabeat wrote: »

I decapitated myself opening a bag of taytos once ,
didnt realise for 3 days until someone casually mentioned I may be going deaf as they kept having to repeat themselves.

you should probably look up what decapitated means

cofy · 22-01-2012 02:34AM

bfocusd wrote: »

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

Bfocusd, don't worry, (I am open to correction here) but with twins once you have the first baby, the second has a way out. With twins it's not the labour I would be worried about, it's what comes after. (by the way I was told I would never have children). Shrek is cute;)

gcgirl · 22-01-2012 02:49AM

shrewdness wrote: »

Tearing your banjo string

O to the M to the G

gcgirl · 22-01-2012 02:52AM

K-9 wrote: »

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Leo Cullen by any chance ?

emo72 · 22-01-2012 02:56AM

Forget childbirth, here's mongo.....!!! Is that the answer?

Broads.ie · 22-01-2012 05:01AM

I've made massive shits that have literally cracked my spine (the same way you can crack your fingers).

The dry ones are the most painful. Surely as painful as childbirth.

gsxr1 · 22-01-2012 05:09AM

Arpa wrote: »

You're just like action man mate. "I don't go to hospital until the day afterwards". That doesn't make you hard, just a bit slow. Out there in Oz breaking up your body but not givin a sh*t. Doin' us proud. It's grand though, cus I have a job here.

Everyone has broken something or other in their lifetime, but I was talking about those annoying little things like when you get your pubes caught in your foreskin when you move, or paper cuts..or standing on a nail. Keep up.

Sorry if this offends. But I see a picture of you wearing a dress and crying at a cut on your finger. At 10 years old.

You are not really into gaa, sports or anything really. Are you?

GROW A SET> FFS

mikemac1 · 22-01-2012 05:09AM

Johro wrote: »

Ever get that cramp in your calf muscle? Jesus...

Awwww

I get that the odd time when I sitting on the couch and then have a good stretch

Gulp, the pain

shuvly · 22-01-2012 05:13AM

Same as! But(!) u guys have to imagine what it mite be like pushing a pineaplle..not skinned..out ur assole..

bfocusd · 22-01-2012 08:14AM

cofy wrote: »

Bfocusd, don't worry, (I am open to correction here) but with twins once you have the first baby, the second has a way out. With twins it's not the labour I would be worried about, it's what comes after. (by the way I was told I would never have children). Shrek is cute;)

I understand your thinking, but usually the first weighs less as the second has been using it as a cushion when they are getting into position. Im not worried about either really, it's a deal with it at the time sort of thing I think. Looking after twins is touch I got the bottle feeds at the same time down, its the first few days of changing the nappies I couldn't hack ..

Benicetomonty · 22-01-2012 10:02AM

bfocusd wrote: »

I've experienced almost all those supposedly painful things, except the ones with willies and they are just about on the level of What we go through every month!

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

Has any lad online had his nutsack tore opened and stitched back together without any numbing meds? If so that's childbirth

Showing this to gf

Out of curiosity, is anal better/worse after childbirth?

LETHAL LADY · 22-01-2012 12:37PM

cofy wrote: »

Was this your first child? Are you planning on having any more. One girl in my ward, just hours after having her first baby, asked how long before she could get pregnant again:eek:. She was lucky enough to have time for an epidural, unlike me.

Have 2 bambinos.:D I was told a story about a local slapper, who whilst staying in a public ward after the birth of her first child, got down to making more childer with her fella whilst the other new mammys listened on in horror.:eek:

Paddy Cow · 22-01-2012 12:43PM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Have 2 bambinos.:D I was told a story about a local slapper, who whilst staying in a public ward after the birth of her first child, got down to making more childer with her fella whilst the other new mammys listened on in horror.:eek:

I really hope that's just an urban legend :eek:

LETHAL LADY · 22-01-2012 12:54PM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I really hope that's just an urban legend :eek:

Twas a mutual friend told me so I can only hope she was lying. BTW it was a normal delivery, just to add to the yuck factor.:eek:

Capt'n Midnight · 22-01-2012 01:56PM

There was a woman who gave herself a cesarian ....

Paddy Cow · 22-01-2012 01:57PM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

There was a woman who gave herself a cesarian ....

WTF??

Forget childbirth...

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